I am Made of Chalk

Katie/Effy

Keffy

A rewrite of seasons 3 and 4

I DON'T OWN SKINS

Every Body Loves Me…

Its odd Effy thinks how she had always wanted this; or a version of this really.

The attention? The love? This though was really just a tainted version of the image she held in her mind. The desperate almost clawing of their want just sent her senses in to over drive. There's so many of them, so many of them drawn to her like a moth to the flame she is constantly fascinated with.

That's the thing, Effy had always been so fascinated with fire, the intense heat, and traces of black it left; it was all just fascinating really, only people don't understand this as fire is a sign to run. When put to a surface, she could just watch in fascination as the once pristine surface turned a blackened tint, almost reflecting clearly the feelings that had plagued her since she could remember.

Why aren't they running?

They all stare really, but there are four of them that really just won't let it go, won't run like the rest of them. See when Effy enters a room she usually receives tons of glances men, women, boys, girls. It never matters really, they just stare, and nothing more.

When you have fire ravish your house what more can you do but stare rooted to the place?

Though obviously Effy isn't a virgin, so she gets the rooted stares, and the "I want to fuck you" stares, and those are the ones she loves to fuck with, in more ways than one.

So there she was, sat on the bleachers, in the sodding gym, in the midst of those stares. She always feels them, finds she never has to acknowledge it when she can't see them, but she can feel it.

It did help that Pandora was right next to her, babbling on like the world has no hold on her, and it's just her and Effy having a "wizard time". She's like a half distraction at times at least.

There were three boys sat a bit behind her, she could feel and hear their want for her.

Clearly people never take in to account that we have ears, and can use them very well. That is, only if we want to, because it seems that most times people never hear what comes out of their mouths when they speak; if they did they would know that most of what is said is either shit or interesting in a revealing sense.

The boy closest to her; Freddie Came up to her later in the bustling hall. Rambling words that sounded a lot like: I love you, I'm not like the other guys, and I think you love me too even if we have just met. Obviously he had never heard of a thing called subtly.

His two mates, are also head over heels for me as well, though for different reasons she can see. Based on their banter the competition for her has fallen to two out of the three of them, because they apparently had the best shot.

Then there is a red headed WAG of sorts, known as Katie Fitch, from what she gathered from her grand entrance of course.

Katie has been looking at her since she made her way up that walkway; where as her twin just seems to want to disappear.

It's all rather interesting, how Katie seems to stare at her and forget that Effy has eyes of her own; that she can clearly see this great want for her painted in those brown eyes of hers.

It's interesting how Katie falls in to the category of the rooted stares, yet there is this fire in her eyes, as if it counts greatly that Katie get to know Effy. It's like this false sense of confidence that is driving her forward.

Emily, whose name she knew after roll, is almost clawing at the walls Katie built.

It's intriguing really how they are so close yet so far from each other. She watched as they scrunched close together as if their life depended on it, yet they were completely focused on someone else. For Katie it is herself and Effy, and for Emily it was some blonde haired girl, she came to know as Naomi who was scowling profusely, all simply interesting.

All in all it seems from what she can tell already rounding the corner with Pandora, things will be quite lively; She can see why Tony got in as much shit as he did. Yes it's all too interesting she thinks to herself, as she smiles about the chaos that erupted around her in the gym earlier.

What is it?

Effy honestly is not surprised to see Katie, in fact she has known she would see her again, since her entrance out in front of the school.

Katie just had this, well this mask on her face, firmly in place. She can see though this mask; it had a look of utter drive? Is that right?

And obviously false confidence as she had thought earlier, but she tries so hard to keep it all together, to keep it controlled.

Well it was drive, a false sense of confidence, and something else she can't quite put her finger on, and that in itself is a rarity, it's probably why she didn't just walk past her like she could have easily done just now.

Effy rarely cares about the feelings of others. Well that's not true, but there are only a few exceptions, but most cases they all get burned.

Looking at Katie's expectant look, she wonders if Katie knows she is already on fire, just standing there waiting for her.

Katie could have run…

I could have walked away…

But here I am; slightly curious if I'm being honest.

There has to be more to her than just what I see, and well it slightly unnerves Effy that she can't look past her false sense of security, when clearly in her eyes there's just- I don't know there's something there, I'm not getting.

"Effy right?"

Somehow this feels like a loaded question to Effy, it feels more like she is expecting something because I'm "Effy". Obviously answering her would be a waste, as everyone knows who she is, it's not boisterous to think such a thing, when it's merely fact.

"I'm Katie, that's Ems back there, but whatever. So your brothers Tony right? He's well fit, isn't he? Not that it matters, I mean you know your fierce with or without him. Cos I've got a boyfriend, so it doesn't matter."

It's almost too easy to read Katie, it's a bit sad, but even then she can still see it.

She just clings to the things that give her status and uses that as a crutch it seems, like her footballer boyfriend, and how she uses him at the end of her introduction, as if that is her identity.

It's quite a funny scene, the intense way Katie and Emily's eyes bore in to each other as they have this silent conversation, it's even more revealing than Katie telling her that Naomi, the girl that just walked past her, the girl Katie's sister can't keep her eyes off, snogged Emily.

Effy feels like in this moment she just had an intense conversation with Katie and Emily, because it just revealed so much in one action, and they aren't even aware of it at all, how they just bared their very reason to live.

Effy thinks that this alone, gives her a reason to stick around long enough to at least get to the bottom of everything.

There's not much in mystery when seen from her eyes.

Katie's Wish

She doesn't really say much, but honestly if Katie had eyes like that words would never be needed right?

Effy is just playing it cool Katie thinks to herself.

"Right Emily, would you like fuck off, so Eff and I can talk a bit?"

"Whatever…"

Once again miss mopey walks away with her head down, fucking mong. I hope she is smart enough not to sit next to that lezza bitch that just ruined my moment with Effy. Who does she think she is? Obviously she didn't learn from the last time Katie put her in her place.

With Emily gone, Katie smiles to herself, thinking she almost has what she wants, but then things can never be that easy can they?

She thinks softly to herself; as she feels blue connect with brown; and her confidence just flies out the window.

Christ she is still staring at me with those bloody eyes of hers, does she ever blink?

Its unsettling really how thick the silence is, it makes her feel like anything that comes out of her mouth is just the wrong thing to say, like Effy is just waiting for her to screw up, but it's not going to happen, it just can't.

"I was thinking yeah? We should sit together, I mean look at us babes we are the most fit in this school, I'm sorry, but it's true."

Effy just smirks and Katie decides that on her a smirk is almost like death, it just lingers in the air as she quirks her eye brow, as if Katie is just here to entertain her, it's just not right. It makes Katie feel like she has to climb mountains to impress her; it makes her think she's just-

"So you want to get to know me is that it?"

"Yeah, I mean it doesn't hurt, I mean your Effy Stonem and I'm Katie Fitch, it's just the natural thing to do isn't?"

"Why is that?"

"Well I mean…your-"

"Look Katie if you want to be my friend, you have to give me more than just, " your Effy Stonem, and I'm Katie Fitch," I only have one friend, and she climbed a tree, threw herself from it, and pulled her bra off, while hanging upside down."

Katie can't help, but frown. What the fuck is she on about? Being Katie Fitch is not like some trivial thing, everyone knows that, and what mong would do a spazzy thing like climb a tree for her?

"Climbed a tree?

"Yes my dear friend Pandora, I'm sure you've met her? Look I'll make this easy for you. You're not the only one that wants to "get to know me," so I'll tell you like I told them, if you want to get to know me you can fill this out."

With that she is thrusting a sheet of paper in to Katie's hand, and standing there just like studying her or something, as if whatever she does next counts greatly. Katie looks at the sheet of paper, and finds that it's a check list of sorts with: smoking, alcohol, drugs, arson, porn, sex in school, and glue on it.

"What the fucks this?"

"It's a list of things we are not allowed to do, which could result in expulsion, don't frown Katie, you're not the only one doing it, in fact I plan on doing it myself."

How can I not frown, she basically just told me that I'm in this line to get her "attention", and that's just not it at all, can't she see that?

Katie shouldn't even be in some line to get to Effy, who the fuck else has this list?

"Look Katie I think it's only fair. If you really wanted something you would take it, but I can see you've made up your mind."

With that Effy is strutting away, she's just-leaving, and I'm rooted in place again just like earlier, and just like in the garden…

" Wait!"

Fucksakes that sounded desperate. Right, I'm Katie Fitch, I'm Katie Fitch, and she's- well she's Effy Fucking Stonem…

"I mean look at this list Eff, for Christ sakes sex in school? Why would I shag anyone here, I have a boyfriend his well fit yeah, and I mean I don't even have the things on this list, how am I even suppose to do it?"

Fuck that smirk is going to make me regret my decision to even ask.

"Well Katiekins I never leave home without some kind of substance, all you had to was ask."

Authors Note: Here is a preview of the next chapter.

If only she had been brave, and it's this thought that hurts more than anything, because Katie Fitch is anything, but weak, only there are something's she just couldn't control… she won't even listen to her, she just walks past her ignoring her completely, and this just does not happen to Katie Fitch, not ever… It eats her up. She see's Effy and her chest gets heavy, and even now she can't shake it, hasn't been able to shake it for two weeks.

"