His life had become hallow and pointless. He sat up grabbing the half empty glass of whiskey that was sitting on the end table he chugged the remainders. Sitting the glass back on the end table. He gets up and heads for the bathroom turning on the light with his right hand and rubbing his face with his left, he was fatigued. No amont of sleep did anything.
Drinking used to make it better till that too became just another action. As his feet hit the floor an involvntary shiver ran through him, it was cold. Swiftly and carelessly he stripped, leaving his clothes on the floor.
He turned the hot water on leaving the cold within him untouched. Steam filled the small space. He stepped under the scalding water that burned his skin. He stood in the hot water thoughtless till it ran out.
He got out of the shower, haphazardly he secured a towel around his hips hot water still running down his naked chest. He looked into the mirror and looked at himself in disgust. He punched the glass shattering it and slicing his fist open, he watched in morbid fascination as the blood pooled.
He picked up a mirror shard and started to cut down his left arm. He cut feeling a sense of clarity, but most of all he felt. He started to waver as he became light headed falling to his knees on the hard tile.
Dean started to fade into the darkness when he heard the rustling of feathers. "Dean!" Dean looked up to smile at Castiel who bent down to put his fingers to Dean's forehead trying to heal him. Castiel let out a deep breath he didn't know he had been holding when it worked.
"No no, why would you take it away? You cold heartless son of a bitch!" Dean cried out in anger, pounding on the angel with his fists, kicking, and biting him. Castiel picked Dean up into his arms walking over to set him on the bed the towel falling to the bed. Dean clawing and hitting the angel as Castiel tried to hold him Dean bit Castiel on the neck making the angel let out a deep throaty moan. Dean stopped and stared at the angel as if coming to his sences, he wrapped his arms around the angel and started to weep.
Castiel tried to focus on that, Dean needed him not that the other man was in fact naked and holding on to him. "I am so sorry please don't leave me again." Castiel took a deep breath."Dean. I am not leaving you like this."
Castiel grabbed up the bed sheet wrapping it around Dean. "You need sleep we will talk about it in the morning. Dean." Castiel held Dean till he cried himself to sleep. Castiel worried, he had never seen Dean so bare and raw before. "I'm sorry. I should have been here for you."