Sasuke fell asleep that night on the couch. He didn't think he'd ever have the courage to go back into the bedroom that he and Naruto once shared. That would hurt far too much.

As his eyes fluttered closed and his mind slowly ground to a halt, the Uchiha felt he had found some form of peace at last.

But it didn't last. What felt like a moment later, Sasuke felt himself awaken. His eyes opened slowly and he blinked to focus his blurred vision. His eyes, as they swiveled around, taking in his surroundings, fell on something he never thought he'd see again.

"Naruto!" Sasuke cried. Leaping up and off the couch, the Uchiha threw himself in the blonde's arms. He buried his head in the Uzumaki's chest and clenched his eyes shut, managing to keep the tears at bay. At least until he heard Naruto's voice.

"Sshhh, it's okay Sasuke," the blonde said. Sasuke's heart jerked at the voice.

"No, it's not," he said. "I know this is a dream. And I never want to wake up."

"But, you know you will. Calm down." Naruto lifted Sasuke's head up to his and looked hard in his lover's eyes. Sasuke's desperate hold on him tightened.

"Don't leave," he pleaded, his voice barely more than a whisper. "Don't leave me again." Naruto shook his head. He opened his mouth and spoke, but this time his voice was high and light and familiar.

"Daddy!" he said. "Daddy, wake up!" Sasuke blinked as Naruto's image began to fade.

"No! Naruto don't go, I love you!" Sasuke shouted.

"Daddy, are you okay?"

"Naruto…"

"Daddy..?"

Sasuke's eyes snapped open and he bolted up. He was still on the couch, sweating and panting. Shihu stood next to him, eyes wide and filled with fear. Her hand was out as though it was on his arm, but had been shaken off. The Uchiha turned to her and she instinctively took a step back.

"Daddy, do you want me to call the ambliance?" she asked timidly. Sasuke laughed softly at her words.

"No, Shihu, I don't want you to call the ambliance," he replied. "Daddy was just having a bad dream. That's all." Shihu's eyes relaxed.

"Do you want me to sing to you?" she asked lightly. Sasuke looked at her hopeful face and nodded.

"Yes, please sing to me," he said. He reached out and lifted her up onto his lap. She beamed at him and started her song.

Hush, little daddy don't say a word

Shihu's gonna buy you a mocking bird

And if that mocking bird don't sing

Then Shihu's gonna buy you a diamond ring…

When Shihu finished her song, she reached up and patted Sasuke's head, smiling.

"Do you feel better, Daddy?" she asked. Sasuke grinned and nodded.

"Yes, I do, Shihu," he said. "Now, I think you should stay home for a few days. At least until we…get back in the swing of things." Shihu looked at him.

"You mean, because Father died?" she asked, ignorant of how blunt it was. Sasuke flinched.

"Yes, because Father died," he choked. He quickly put her down and told her to go play. When she complied, he lay back down on the couch, thinking of Naruto and why he had to leave.

Because of the disease. The disease that Naruto had had since birth. No one really knew how he acquired it. But it basically guaranteed his early death. So, ultimately, Sasuke knew that his death was coming, and it still surprised him.

Sasuke shut his eyes, trying to shake the thought from his mind. But it still clung. Still clung to his awareness like a dew drop to a leaf. There was really only one thing that could make him forget, aside from suicide.

Alcohol.

Sasuke made up his mind. Going into the kitchen, he went straight to the phone. Shihu was at the table trying to complete a puzzle. She smiled at Sasuke as he entered the room, but he ignored her. He quickly picked up the phone and dialed the number of their long time babysitter. She agreed to come over, and Sasuke told his daughter that he was going out and that she would be spending time with the babysitter. Shihu smiled.

"Tsukiko?" she asked. Sasuke nodded, getting his coat. A minute later the doorbell sounded and the Uchiha gratefully answered it, letting the young girl in.

"How are you doing?" Tsukiko asked carefully. Sasuke shrugged.

"At the moment, pretty bad," he replied. Tsukiko looked sympathetic.

"I'm so sorry," she said. "I know it doesn't mean much, but…" She broke off. Sasuke waved her apology away.

"It's alright," he said. "Thank you for coming over on such short notice." Tsukiko nodded and went to find Shihu. Sasuke turned and left. He quickly opened the door to his car and got in. He shoved the key roughly into the ignition and turned hard. The car rumbled to life and he put it in reverse. Looking out the back window and ignoring Shihu's frantic farewell waves to him, he backed out of the driveway and sped off.

He drove down the still slightly damp road, headed to the one place that he knew would at least comfort him temporarily.

He turned onto a small side road and drove slowly until he saw the familiar sign. He sighed and turned into the parking lot. He found a space near the entrance and parked the car. Getting out, he locked the doors and hurried into the fairly small building. It had always been his favorite bar.

He pushed the door open and hurried to the long counter. He sat down and ordered a beer. He downed it quickly and ordered another. The process was repeated again. And again. And again. Until Sasuke was hammered out of his mind. Though he was very good at hiding it. He had always been very good at hiding things.

"Sasuke, man, are you okay?" a very concerned Kiba asked the drunk raven from behind the counter. Sasuke nodded.

"I'm fine," he insisted, though his very red face betrayed his claim. He stood and Kiba noticed he was a little wobbly on his feet. Thinking rationally, the Inuzuka offered to take Sasuke home. When Sasuke refused, Kiba shook his head and told him he couldn't drive in his intoxicated state. He disappeared into the back of the bar and a moment later emerged again. He walked around the bar, his position having been taken by an older man with graying black hair, and put the Uchiha's arm around his shoulder. He walked Sasuke to his car and took the keys from the weakly protesting Uchiha and helped him into the passenger seat. Then, Kiba walked around and got into the car on the driver side. He put the key into the ignition and started the car. Backing out into the street, his eyes flashed quickly to Sasuke.

"So, how are you doing, Sasuke?" the Inuzuka asked carefully. Sasuke lurched backward as the car accelerated.

"Horrible," he said, the word slightly slurred. Kiba nodded. Figured.

"How's Shihu?" he asked. Sasuke shrugged.

"How am I supposed to know?" he asked bitterly. "I'm not her father." Kiba blinked. He didn't know what to say to that.

"Oh," was all he could manage. Sasuke turned to the window and his head fell forward, hitting it. Kiba winced at the sharp sound but Sasuke didn't seem to mind. They drove in silence until the alcohol finally took its full toll on Sasuke and he screamed, "Naruto's gone!" Kiba jumped and struggled to keep the car from swerving. He blinked, turning his head to face Sasuke momentarily, before returning his attentions to the road.

"I know," he said quietly. The Uchiha started shaking beside him and he leaned over, his head sagging over Kiba's arm.

"I miss him," Sasuke said. Kiba was silent. It was amazing how easily a lot of alcohol could loosen a person's tongue. The Inuzuka gently pushed Sasuke's head off of his shoulder.

"I know, Sasuke," he said carefully, keeping in mind Sasuke's incredible temper and how easily it could be triggered, especially if he was drunk. "But, you've got to start thinking about other things. Like Shihu." Sasuke made a noise that sounded oddly like a scoff, but that changed quickly to a cough.

"How can I?" he said, the words now spilling uncontrollably from his mouth. "It's not as though I had anything to do with her. The only reason I ever put up with her was because she was Naruto's kid." Kiba felt, if possible, even more awkward. Sasuke had never spoken this easily of personal matters. It was slightly disconcerting. And the Inuzuka, who had never been close enough to Sasuke to discuss such matters, didn't know quite what to say. He only hoped Sasuke didn't want advice in this unfamiliar, drunken state.

"I'm a terrible person," Sasuke emoted suddenly. Kiba looked quickly at him and said the first thing that came to his mind.

"No you're not." Sasuke sniggered.

"Yes I am," he persisted. "I don't even love my own daughter." Kiba would've replied, "You just said you weren't her father." Though he refrained, for he knew it wasn't the right thing to say. Come to think of it, he didn't know what the right thing to say was. He only knew that Sasuke needed a nice long nap as soon as he got to his house.

The car was silent for the remainder of the trip, the only sound being Sasuke's uneven breathing as a result of the much too large dosage of alcohol.

Kiba pulled into Sasuke's driveway and pulled the now very wobbly Sasuke out of the car. He walked the Uchiha carefully up the steps to his house.

Inside Sasuke's house, Tsukiko had gotten a quick glimpse of Sasuke, and that was all she needed to see to send Shihu up to her room. She quickly hurried to the door when she heard the doorbell and pulled it open, hurrying to help Kiba settle Sasuke on the couch.

"What happened?" she asked the Inuzuka. Kiba shook his head resignedly.

"He's handling loss," he said. Tsukiko blinked, not quite understanding the meaning at first. Then comprehension dawned on her and she turned a pitiful gaze on the Uchiha, now lying rigidly on the couch.

"You can both get the hell out of my house now," Sasuke grumped from his resting place. Kiba and Tsukiko started and the latter's eyes darted up to Shihu's room. Kiba, following her gaze and immediately understanding, said, "Shouldn't you let the babysitter take Shihu for the night?" Sasuke's eyes snapped open and fell on Kiba, making him wince. Slowly and unsteadily, he dragged himself to his feet and glared the Inuzuka in the eye.

"Shouldn't you be getting the hell out of my house now?" he hissed, the smell of alcohol on his breath stinging the Inuzuka's rather sensitive nose. When Kiba hesitated, Sasuke leaned into him, pushing him to the door. Kiba was slow to react and was soon shoved out onto the driveway, the door being slammed in his face. Sasuke quickly locked it and turned to Tsukiko, who took a step backward.

"You can leave out the back way," Sasuke mumbled, pointing shakily to the kitchen door. "Get out." Tsukiko jumped and quickly hurried out of the house, shutting the door rather loudly behind her. Sasuke sighed and hurried to the bathroom. Shutting the door and leaning over the toilet bowl, he felt some of his alcohol forcing its way back up through his throat. He opened his mouth and retched. The bitter stuff fell into the bowl and Sasuke quickly pushed down on the silver lever, watching it swirl and then disappear. He reached out and grabbed a tissue, wiping his mouth and breathing heavily.

He heard a knock on the door and didn't answer. A moment later he heard Shihu's voice through the door.

"Daddy?" she asked, her high voice slightly muffled. "Daddy, are you okay?" Sasuke turned to the door angrily.

"No, I'm not okay, Shihu!" he shouted. "And Daddy just wants you to leave him the hell alone!" He turned back to the toilet and vomited into it once again, missing his daughter's scared and frightened breaths, and hearing her only rush away, crying. He rolled his eyes. Damn kid. He thought bitterly.

Shihu ran to her room and slammed the door, flinging herself onto her bed. She buried her head in her pillow and began to cry.

What was going on with her daddy? Why was he acting so mean to her? She knew he loved Father but she though he loved her too. Was she wrong? Did Daddy hate her?

Shihu cried harder into the pillow, bringing it closer to her, seeking comfort in the soft warm object that seemed to be her only escape. She didn't want her daddy to be like this. She wanted him to be happy. She wanted to make him happy. More than anything she wanted them to be a family.

Sasuke walked out of the bathroom still drunk, but more miserable than ever. The constant vomiting had made him exhausted and he had yelled at Shihu. Perfect.

The Uchiha walked absentmindedly up the stairs and into his and Naruto's bedroom. He stopped short as soon as he realized where he was. His eyes widened as they fell on the bed, still unmade from the last time he and Naruto had slept in it together. Sasuke's body twitched as the memories forced their way back into his mind.

When Naruto would slam Sasuke down against the sheets, intoxicated with lust; a lust that was soon given life within Sasuke as well. When the room would be filled with groans and gasps and breathy whispers that all emanated from that very bed. The time Shihu had walked in on them and asked what they were doing, to which a very flushed Naruto replied, "We're just playing hide and seek. And I just found Daddy hiding in the bed." Shihu's face had lit up at that and she took a running leap onto the bed, shouting, "I want to play too!" Naruto had inaudibly groaned and Sasuke had laughed, shoving the Uzumaki off of him and pulling the blankets up to more effectively cover their naked forms.

Sasuke laughed as he remembered. It had been such a happy life he had shared with them. But now it was gone, Sasuke realized as he sank to the floor, his hands clutching at his head.

"Daddy?" Sasuke turned slowly to see Shihu standing at a safe distance from him, a worried look on her face. He started slowly towards her and she flinched.

"Are you going to yell at me?" she asked. Sasuke felt tears threaten as the regret pushed its way into him.

"No, I'm not going to yell at you, Shihu," he whispered. "I'm sorry." He moved towards her again and this time she moved to meet him. She ran into his arms and clamped her small hands on his shirt as he tightened his arms around her. Slowly he lifted her up and carried her down the stairs to the couch. He quickly sat down before he could fall. Shihu nestled into him and he heard her breath even out after a moment, indicating that she had fallen asleep. He held her in his arms for a moment before he fell asleep himself.

Okay, still very early in this fic and I need reviews to see if it's going well so far. Sasuke's still getting over Naruto and his going out to drink is going to become a serious problem, hint hint.

And "ambliance" is Shihu's way fo saying "ambulance." That's how I used to say it when I was five.

Review please.