Disclaimer: I don't own anything in this fanfic, except Matt and E-mon.
Matt and E-mon were looking for Matt's digivice.
Matt, looking under a rock: Can't I just buy one?
E-mon: Uh,... no! FUCKING DUMBASS!
Matt: Fine! What do I need a digivice for anyway?
E-mon: So you can allow me to digivolve!
Matt: That's it! Screw that! I have connections!
Matt then took out his cell phone.
Matt: Uh-huh, ...yeah, ...no black,... Can I have weapons installed,... No,... They have to be unlocked? Fuck,... so, I have to enslave digimon?... Can't I just kill them?... DIGIMON CAN'T DIE! WHAT THE FUCK!... whatever I'll take it.
Matt the closed is cell phone.
E-mon: What the fuck was that about?
Matt: I called the author and asked where it was.
E-mon: ... HOW THE FUCK?
Matt: Your in my world now! Get used to it!
E-mon: Ooookkkkk, so, where is it?
Matt: Yeah, I don't get one, the digidestioned took them all.
E-mon: So I'm gonna be a In-Training digimon for my whole life?
Matt: Either that or I become a digimon poacher.
E-mon: And that is...
Matt: You know the digimon emperor?
E-mon: YEAH! He was a role model to evil digimon around the world!
Matt: Well, kind of like him, except with a cool weapon/PDA thing.
E-mon: Basically a dark digivice?
Matt: ... well if you want to ruin all the poetry.
E-mon: No, I want to fucking digivolve! I'm tired of being a fucking blob!
Matt: Fine! It will get here in 6-8 minutes!
E-mon: By what?
Matt:... FedEx.
E-mon: WE'LL BE HERE FOR HOURS!
Matt: Sorry.
Suddenly, a digimon wearing a grey suit and a red bow tie jumped out from behind a bush.
Digimon: I am Pee-WeeHermanmon! The creepy adult digmon!
Matt: Uh, that's E-mon. The evil blob digimon.
Pee-WeeHermanmon: Die! BAD TOUCH BLAST!
Pee-WeeHermanmon then shot his hand out at Matt's crotch.
Matt: E-mon! Shadow Bubble!
E-mon: SHADOW BUBBLE!
E-mon then shot a black bubble out that hit Pee-WeeHermanmon, blowing him up instantly.
Matt: Yay! We won!
E-mon: How the hell did you know my attack?
Matt, pulling the script: It's right here, after Pee-WeeHermanmon says "BAD TOUCH BLAST!"
E-mon: Script?
Matt: Uh,... LOOK! My digivice is here!
At that second a FedEx truck pulled up next to Matt.
FedEx Clone: Package for... MATT.
Matt: That's me.
FedEx Clone, holding a clipboard: Sign here...
Matt: Ok, Matth... I"M NOT GIVING YOU MY MIDDLE NAME!
Matt then took out a katana and chopped off the FedEx Clone's head.
Matt, opening the package: Let's se my digivice!...
Matt held a device in his hand that looked suspiciously like a black Gameboy SP on a 90 degree angle.
Matt: Man, nintendo's gonna sue digimon's ass off!
E-mon: Try it out!
Matt: Ok, but shouldn't I read the instruction manual first?
E-mon, using Shadow Bubble: There! Now there's no manual, let's go!
Matt: How?
E-mon: I don't know, point it at me and press a button.
Matt: Ok.
Matt then pressed a button, which caused a rope of energy to come out and lassoed E-mon.
E-mon: GET THIS THING FUCKING OFF ME!
Matt: Sorry!
Matt pressed the button again, retracting the rope with E-mon on it, into the digivice. E-mon appeared on the screen inside.
E-mon: GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!
Matt: Fine, I get it now.
Matt then scrolled down until he got to the "Release" command. He pressed the button, releasing him.
E-mon: Now digivole me.
Matt: Fine! I'll just press this other button that says Digivole is big bold letters.
E-mon: ... I fucking hate you, dude!
Matt then pressed the button, shooting a beam of light at E-mon.
E-mon: E-mon digivoles to... Darkmon.
In E-mons place stood a small black chao-looking creature with horns and a devil tail.
Darkmon: Sweet! I rock!
Matt: Awesome! Want to go enslave the digimon population?
Darkmon: Fuck yeah!
With that, Matt and Darkmon went on their journey to rule the world.
(Note: No digimon were harmed in the making of this chapter, except Pee-WeeHermanmon, because he's a gay fag!)
Nothing much to say, except REVIEW YOU LAZY ASS COCK SUCKING HOMOS! Jesus! I like pie! Meeps!