Chapter 2-Maybe They are That Bad…

Transit Dock D-19

As Yelena and Paolo approach the deck of the transit bay, they see the Raven coming in.

"Man, what a piece of shit ." Paolo says over the roar of the engines.

Inside the Raven…

"Ok baas, we're docking now!" Crowe shouts from the cockpit.

"Alright boets, get yer gear and yer rubbers ready. The grootwiel doesn't know what's coming!" Kruger laughs maniacally. "Let's see who the nerds sent to greet us this time."

Looking on the monitor screen onto the deck in front of them, Drake whines, "Ah man, that cute blonde with the nice ass isn't here. I thought for sure I had her wrapped around my finger two years ago. She gave me her comm number and everything."

"And she never responded to any of yer messages. Besides, Drakey, that red head on the landing deck is a sexy thing. With the glasses and the lekker anties—"

"And I call dibs on that one, boets!" Kruger says jovially. "It's as if the human resources department here knows exactly what I like. I've always had a thing for the sexy nerd types. They tend to be complete nymphos."

"Man, baas, you always get dibs…" Crowe moans.

"That's cuz I'm the meanest here, and cuz I have the biggest dick here. Ya know, survival of the fittest and all that kak." Kruger snorts.

"Well, Crowe, I'm sure there are plenty of secretaries we can pick and choose from." Drake says, patting Crowe's shoulder.

Back to the landing deck…

"Well, the engines have shut off. Now let's see what Sergei is so scared of…" Yelena says lowly.

As she finishes her sentence, the hatch to the ship opens, and what she and Paolo see, and hear, takes them aback.

"Hey boet, hey galiefde! Howzit?" Kruger shouts, waving at them.

Leaning to Yelena, Paolo murmurs "What the hell is he speaking? Did the computer seriously assign us to guys that don't speak English?"

Whispering, Yelena responds, "Well, judging by the flag on the side, I'm going to say South African. Don't worry, English is one of their official languages, which means they more than likely speak it."

"That's not what I'm worried about. Shit, does that dude have a katana on his back? Fuck me, I can see why Sergei was frightened—"

"Shhh. Remember, professional, Paolo. Hi, how are you, Agent…?"

"Kruger's the name, girlie." Kruger says as he struts over. "And those two no good sons of whores are Drake and Crowe." Gesturing to his two comrades.

"I'm Yelena Ivanovskaya, and this is Paolo Peireida. We're the engineers that will be taking care of you guys for the next few days."

"Oh, I'm sure you will, bokkie…" Kruger says, all the while ogling at the young woman's bosom.

"Ok, well, how about we get you guys down to the lab and get things started." Paolo says, trying to break the awkward scene in front of him.

"Lead the way boykie! Come on boets, we can't be holding our dicks all day!" Kruger booms.

As the five of them leave the transit bay, heading back to the lab, the three mercenaries are chattering and wolf whistling to the women passing by. Paolo murmurs to Yelena, "I think they're worse than Sergei let on...look at them…the Mad Max extra dude wasn't this bad. And what the hell are they speaking?"

"I'm pretty sure it's Afrikaans. I took some German classes in college, and what they're speaking sounds a lot like that, so that's what I'm basing it on."

"So if the shit completely hits the fan, if it hasn't already, you can half-ass translate? That's lovely. And they're pervy, Yel. Did you see how that Kruger guy was looking at you?"

"It's no worse than the stares I used to get being one of the few girls walking around MIT. I'm sure they'll calm down once we get started with the task at hand."

All of the sudden, a hellacious belch comes from behind them. The two young engineers turn to look behind them.

"Crowe, fokken hell! We're in the presence of a lady here!" Kruger shouts, feigning gentility, and not so subtly winking at Yelena, to which she rolls her eyes.

"Well, I did have a case of beer last night, baas. *burp* You know I drink and play some music when I *burarp* don't have company and get *bup* lonely. That's the only way I can release my anxiety, if you catch my *hic* drift." Crowe says, with mini burps coming out at the end.

"Wait, you piloted a cruiser, hungover?" Paolo shrieks, horrified, ignoring the second part of Crowe's statement.

"No, he's still shitfaced. It's no big deal, bru. Crowe's a professional." Drake drawls out.

Witnessing the exchange, and getting frustrated with all of the idiocy around her, Yelena couldn't help but let her inner bitch out, if only to possibly calm down the testosterone storm around her.

"So, you're saying Crowe spends his downtime polishing his flute? A musician and a pilot, that's pretty freakin' impressive." As soon as the sentence came out of her mouth, Yelena knew she was fucked. This is what happens when you say shit with no filter, Yel, she thinks to herself.

Then there was silence, all four men were staring at her, three of those stares being unreadable, and the only interpretation she could gather was she was about to meet her doom. Time seems to have stopped, until Kruger, Drake, and Crowe burst out laughing like hyenas, doubled over, with passersby looking on and picking up the pace to escape the scene in front of them.

"Oooh, I like you, bokkie." Kruger finally says, after catching his breath. "You weren't raised here on Elysium, were ya? I can tell. All of these Elysian meisies are uptight, fragile, little things. So where ya from, girlie?"

Shocked at this turn of events, for a moment ago, she thought she was going to die, she pauses.

"Well, galiefde? Ya didn't answer my question yet." Kruger teases.

" Oh, yeah, I born and raised in Boston, Massachusetts. I got invited for a job here after finishing grad school at MIT."

"Well that's no shock. All of you Boston girlies are mouthy and cuss like sailors. I knew there was something about ye. I think we're going to get on quite well." Kruger purrs, while he's not so secretly taking Yelena's tall, curvy form in.

At this, Yelena internally rolls her eyes, and they all begin to head to the armory again, and when she turns her head to look back at the three mercenaries, Kruger is looking right at her, occasionally winking or waggling his eyebrows.

Internally, Yelena groans and begins considering the situation she's in.

Seriously? I thought after coming up here I'd be respected for my mind a little more. Ugh, why is he looking at me like that? He reminds me of that old movie "Crocodile Dundee" a bit, except he's South African, and much, much pervier. Ugh, God, why does he keep looking at me like that? It doesn't help that he's good looking, in a roguish sort of way…NO, I am absolutely NOT going there. He's a chauvinistic pig that is also getting me slightly aroused. Shit I better not be blushing. You're 26, dammit, get it together! Shit, I never thought of the walk back to the armory being so long.

Soon enough, however, not as quickly as Yelena, and probably Paolo, would have liked, given their present company, they arrive at the armory. Needless to say, as they enter the lab, they are hit with some relief of being somewhere familiar, with plenty of witnesses. When the three South Africans enter, though, the chatter of the lab shrieks to a halt. Everyone is staring, and Sergei, the Senior Engineer, fights the urge to run, and is frozen in his spot in front of the 3D printer.

Drake breaks the awkward silence "Who fokken died?"

"I think they're in awe because they're in the presence of our greatness, boets." Kruger beams.

"Where's the shitter? I gotta *barprapap* drain the lizard. Or should I say the flute?" Crowe whines.

Okay guys, I'm not sure if I'll continue this or not. I think it a lot of it depends on your feedback, and also if I keep coming up with good scenarios and one-liners. I'm hoping I won't burn out too quickly though, I'm having fun with this so far.