Authors Note: Hopefully everything is starting make sense. The prologue will soon come into play.
My mom looked confused. I expected as much. "Mom, listen. I know this doesn't really make sense to you right now…but it's the truth; I'm a vampire slayer." My mom responded quickly, "No Buffy," she shook her head vigorously. "I spoke to the doctor's; they said you could have memory loss. Maybe you just think you are this…what…vampire slayer. Oh god Buffy, you're delusional."
"Mom!" I shrieked. "This is not a joke, and I am not delusional. As much as you would like to think I am, I'm not." I started to get very angry. She wasn't taking it well at all. She wasn't even trying to accept it. She got up and started pacing the room. I continued on, "Mom what do you think has been going on the past two years? The fights, the weird occurrences? How many times have you washed blood out of my clothing and you still haven't figured it out?" I was starting to feel like myself again. Powerful, strong, alive. "Well it stops now!" my mom looked hard at me. "No it doesn't stop…it never stops." I thought I was going to cry. "Do you think I chose to be like this? Do you have any idea how lonely it is, how dangerous? Look at me, I'm in the hospital, I almost died. I would love to be at home right now watching TV, talking about boys with my friends, god even studying. But I'm the slayer mom, and I had to save the world…again." I poured out the words with so much force, trying my hardest to make her understand.
"Buffy this is crazy, you need help." I couldn't take it anymore. I tore the covers off me, got off the bed and stepped in front of my mom. I pulled back my gown, revealing my wound. "Mom, I'm not crazy. I need you to believe me." She wouldn't even look at me. I put her hand on my stomach. "You feel that mom? This is real, this really happened…" a part of me felt horrible for telling her this. "Mom, I'm still me." She looked at my stomach, ready to cry. She pulled back the cloth and noticed how much my wound had healed; she could barely see where it was.
She searched my face before speaking. "Buffy…I don't like this. Your right, you almost died. That is not okay with me. Whatever it is you… do…I don't like it." She rested her hand on my cheek. "I know mom," I started. "Being the slayer isn't something I chose. I was Chosen, to kill vampires…to fight evil." I looked at her hoping for a glimpse of understanding. "So this…all this, missing school, the fights, you in a coma…" she turned and sat in the chair by the wall. "This was all what…part of the job?" I leaned my head to the side just slightly, trying to break it to her as easy as I could. "Yeah." I said softly. "Look mom, I don't like this either, but it's who I am." My mom didn't exactly get it, but the now somber look on her face let me know at least she understood, even though she didn't like it. I sat back onto the nice white bed. "Look mom, I know there is still so much to talk about this. But can I ask you one thing?" She looked at me, trying to show some sort of understanding. "Sure Buffy, what is it?" I looked at her softly, a small grin forming on my face. "Can you get me outa here?" I was okay; I had to get out of the hospital. "Sure honey lets get the doctor in here to check your vitals and then we'll go." "Okay," I replied, "But you know though, I do have super powers, I have healed completely, I know I'm okay." "One thing at a time Buffy," she contested on her way out the door, "one thing at a time."
After the doctor told my mom that I was indeed okay, Willow brought in my clothes and I changed quickly in the bathroom. Willow, Giles and Xander planned on coming to my house later. I hugged each of my friends before getting into the car with my mom to head home. The ride was short. I had to get out the clothes I was wearing. They were the ones I wore that day, the day I killed Acathla. My favorite lace blue top was ripped where I had been stabbed. Not to mention it was bloody along with my brown slacks. My room of course hadn't changed. I felt like I had been away at camp or something. Being stabbed through the stomach really takes a lot out of you. I couldn't wait to start training again, getting things back to normal.
After Willow and everybody left that night I went straight to bed. I couldn't wait to get a real nights sleep. As I entered my room I felt a presence. I knew who it was, I wasn't sure if I should say his name, or even look at him. It was all still so weird. But I had to, I had longed for him from the moment I felt his lips on mine before I nearly died. I looked up and saw his shadow outside my window. "Angel…" At the sound of my voice his shadow disappeared. I ran to my window, he had left. Why, I thought. I needed him, he needed me.
I couldn't wait til morning. I didn't have time to change either, I had to see him. I passed my moms room, noticing she had gone to sleep. I hurried down the stairs and out the front door in search of Angel. It was refreshing not having to sneak out my window. I went in the direction of the mansion. I wasn't sure where he'd go. After what happened in both his apartment and the mansion I didn't know where he would rather be. I took my chance at the mansion. As I ran through Restfield Cemetery, something stopped me. A smell, I knew that smell. My eyes searched the cemetery. When my eyes caught his I thought I might pass out again. He looked amazingly gorgeous in his usual white sleeveless tee and black slacks, with his normal black long leather jacket. I moved towards him, I knew he saw me. He stood silently beside a gravestone. Our eyes locked for but a moment, but that moment said everything. As I moved towards him he looked at the ground. When I was almost to him he turned, started to leave.
"Angel." I seemed to shout his name. He stopped, his back still turned to me. "Why do you keep running away?" I started as I gently touched his shoulder.
His body was tense, I could feel it. I could feel his pain, his frustration; I started to understand why he kept running. "Buffy" he said softly as he turned to me. I felt like I hadn't seen his face in months. His soft dark brown eyes, that gorgeous mouth, his perfect dark brown hair. I found my self staring at him, waiting for a response. "Buffy…how can you even look at me?" he continued on. "After what I …did. I don't…deserve…anything." He finished so silently and full of pain I almost couldn't bare it. His eyes still looking at the ground, I moved in closer to him and gently turned his body more towards me. All those feelings I had for him were still there. They seemed to be stronger now then they ever were. I knew he felt it to.
"Angel…" I started as I softly touched his chin and brought his eyes up to meet mine. "That wasn't you. I know that, you saved me. If it weren't for you and Willow I wouldn't even be here right now." I spoke in such a calm tone hoping to ease his pain, even a little. "Angel, I need you. I meant what I said. I love you. I always will. I can't imagine what you're going through." I wanted to hold him so badly, I just wanted to touch him, be near to him. "Everything I did Buffy, how can you…all those horrible things I did to you…to Giles…Ms. Calendar….God Buffy I am so sorry. I can barely stand to be alive right now." Angel said quickly, tears forming in his eyes. "I know you are honey, I know all that, why do you think I am here? I know you feel terrible. I want to be here for you… All I want is you." I repeated the words I had said so long ago. He was now looking deeply into my eyes. We breathed each other in. I put my hand on his cheek, caressing him softly. "Angel..." I whispered as my lips met his, falling into a deep longing kiss. His arms wrapped around me, pulling me closer; So much passion in that one kiss. I wanted more, I needed more. I moved my arms around his neck in an effort to be as close to him as I possibly could. At that moment, he broke the kiss. Before I could realize the pain in his eyes he moved back quickly, releasing his grip on me. "I can't..." he started..." Buffy, I'm sorry, I just can't." he finished as he turned and vanished so quickly into the dark.