CHAPTER 2, The Ultimate Sugar Rush

XxXxXxXx

After blowing up Reality, the trio went back into GhostKing's house to call in others via portals.

"THE CAKE IS A LIE!" Someone screamed from a portal. GhostKing decided to close that one because the screamer scared everyone.

But their second portal was successful. Shadow flew out of it and hit GhostKing's chair, knocking her out and to the floor. Closely following him was Sonic, who ran both him and the Author over and then flattened himself on a wall. After Sonic came zooming into the room, Mephiles drifted out, laughing hysterically.

"GET BACK TO THE PORTAL! IT'S CLOSING!" Shadow jumped up and flattened Mephiles on his way to the portal. Who's laughing now?

Sadly, the portal closed…but not before it closed on Shadow's arm.

There was a long moment of 'OMG that is so freaking COOL' before GhostKing regained consciousness and found her glasses. She took one look at Shadow's armless side and laughed nearly as hysterically as Mephiles.

"It's not happening…this is a CrackFic…This is not happening…" Shadow muttered, slowly going pale.

(INTERUPTION from The Author Laws of The Fourth Wall excerpt, chapter 34, paragraph 5:

Thou FanFiction Characters shall not know what a CrackFic is. That is breaking the Fourth Wall, which can lead thee onto a terrible situation.

Keep that in mind as we continue on…)

"I'M A MONGOOSE!" Sonic shouted randomly. His face was still planted firmly in the wall.

"Hang on, Shadow! I'll consult the Author Laws of Healing to see what I can do." GhostKing whipped a book out of nowhere, breaking the Author Laws of Whipping Books out of Nowhere, which is section 54, chapter 6, paragraph 7.4 in The Author Laws of Objects. Don't confuse The Author Laws of Objects with The Author Laws of Magical Objects. There is a difference.

"Hmmm… ok, I'm to the section that will tell me what to do if Fictional characters get their arms chopped off in a portal…" GhostKing turned a few pages. "All I have to do is re-open the portal and your arm should fall out here."

Upon opening the portal, Shadow's arm fell out and landed on Silver's head, freaking him out and making him go into shock. Sonic grabbed it and got into an epic fencing position. "EN GUARD!" He shouted loudly.

Shadow's detached arm gave him the finger.

"Ok, now you've got his arm. How do you re-attach it?" Mephiles asked.

"Superglue?" Blaze suggested.

"… Duct tape….Duct tape…" Silver muttered in his shock.

"Or duct tape." Blaze said.

GhostKing looked in the book again. " 'Thou may only call upon their true power if a character is dying a painful death to ease their passing.'"

"Please just kill me. I can't stand being in yaoi or CrackFics anymore." Shadow begged.

"Oh, here we go." GhostKing said. "I have to throw you in a swirling vortex of time and it will somehow reattach your arm."

"Who wrote that book?" Shadow demanded, grabbing his arm from Sonic.

"The Author who created FanFiction." GhostKing said dramatically. "One of the three zillion holy beings in the universe, first being God. Ok, let's get this over with." She made a dark, evil swirling vortex of time appear.

"You are not throwing me into that." Shadow hissed.

"Sorry, it's what it says in the book."

GhostKing picked Shadow up by his foot and throw both him and his arm in the vortex. Loud screams were heard and a zombie popped up, but Mephiles smashed it down into the swirling death again. More screams. Most of them being screams of long ago tortured souls that have rotted in Hell for years—

(THE AUTHOR LAWS OF SWEARING CLEARLY STATE THAT ANY WORD MAY BE USED, AS LONG AS IT IS USED IN CONTEXT, OR AS A SYMBOL OF GREAT FUSTRATION. THE F-BOMB MAY NOT BE DROPPED MORE THAN THREE TIMES A CHAPTER, NO MATTER WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES.)

—and are now enjoying a nice feast of hedgehog.

Out from the portal popped Bugs Bunny.

"Hey, what's up, Doc?"

Quickly following him was Doctor Horrible, who jumped up and screamed, "NOT GOOD, YOU FLEA BITTEN BUNNY!" and he beat him back into the portal.

GhostKing, Blaze, Sonic, and Mephiles just sort of stood there, unsure of what to do. Silver sat on the ground, rocking back and fourth on his butt and sucking his thumb. He was still in shock, you know.

That was about when Rayman jumped up and blasted a Raving Rabbid in its face with a toilet plunger gun. The Rabbid freaked out and turned into a zombie, diving back into the vortex to help beat up Bugs. Rayman almost succeeded in escaping the vortex, but the Biolizard grabbed his foot and ate him.

More shouts, followed by the phrase, "COME WITH ME IF YOU WANT TO LIVE."

Out came that one lady from Resident Evil, who had guns.

"Why does this sh*t always happen to me?" She wondered before a Modern Warfare guy sniped her.

Then a Matrix opened.

"Oh, cool!" GhostKing cheered as the band Linkin Park came out and began singing Bleed it Out at the top of their lungs. Mephiles joined in.

"YEAH HERE WE GO FOR THE HUNDRETH TIME, HAND GRANADE PINS IN EVERY LINE, THROW EM UP AND LET SOMETHING SHINE, GOING OUT OF MY F-"

An explosion blew the roof off the house. Maybe it was caused by the hand grenade with the pulled pin…who knows?

After all that crap, the roof was somehow restored and Linkin Park was sucked back into the vortex. There was a flash of random colors, mostly consisting of oranges that made everyone squeeze their eyes shut, and then a sound like a frying pan being smashed over someone's head.

GhostKing opened her eyes to see a small blue Chao. It was sitting on the edge of the vortex, looking lost and really hungry. Silver, who just came out of shock, saw it and tried to pick it up.

"Aw, look, he's so cute…"

The Chao opened its unnaturally large mouth and took a chunk out of Silver's hand.

"OH MY GAAAAH! IT'S RABID! AAAGH, THE PAAAAIN!" Silver wailed, going back into shock.

The Chao fell backwards into the portal and a Pikachu ate it. Then Ash from Pokémon jumped out, screaming, "GOTTA CATCH EM ALL!" before throwing a Pokѐball at Sonic and actually catching him.

"OH YEAH!" Ash vanished with Sonic.

Then the vortex imploded and created a sort of black hole effect, sucking in all coffee and anything with a lot of sugar in a fifty mile radius. There was a blinding flash of light.

When everyone could see again, GhostKing realized that the vortex had spit something out. The large green dot in her vision faded and she was greatly relieved to see that Shadow's arm was re-attached. But the bad thing was he wasn't really moving.

"Aw, crap. I actually liked that guy." Blaze muttered, eyeing Silver, who was back to rocking back and fourth on his butt and sucking his thumb.

"Are there any Author Laws to surgery?" Mephiles asked evilly, brandishing a meat cleaver.

"Probably in the Author Laws to Healing." GhostKing sighed, picking up a nearby chainsaw. "But I don't wanna take the time to read it. Come on."

She struck an epic pose with the chainsaw and then stood over Shadow and lowered the blade towards his head.

(THIS SCENE CENSORED BECAUSE IT MAY MOVE THE RATING UP TO M)

KNUCKLES: Whoa, wait a second! This didn't happen!

TAKAL: If you really did cut him open like that, you'd lose a lot of fans.

GHOSTKING: haha, oops. I'm kidding, jeez. Don't take it seriously. Back to the story…rewinding a bit…

"Are there any Author Laws to surgery?" Mephiles asked evilly, brandishing a meat cleaver.

"Probably in the Author Laws to Healing." GhostKing sighed, picking up a nearby chainsaw. "But I don't wanna take the time to read it. Come on."

She struck an epic pose with the chainsaw and that was about when Shadow jumped up and sort of stared at her, his eyes slightly unfocused.

"Uh…Shadow?" GhostKing asked, revving the chainsaw.

Shadow's ear twitched and then he practically launched himself into the wall, making a large hole. There was a shout of, "HUZZAAA!" before another crash sounded and he was back in the room, standing next to two holes in the wall.

"Uh, Shadow, are you ok?" GhostKing asked, holding the chainsaw out in front of her, just in case.

"I'M GONNA FLY TO THE MOON NOW!" Shadow shouted, running into the wall and bouncing back onto a grand piano. After playing the intro to Moonlight and Madness by Trans-Siberian Orchestra at lightning speed, he jumped on the top of the piano and flew through the roof.

"What happened to him?" Blaze asked slowly.

"Well…the vortex did kinda suck in all coffee products and anything with an insane amount of sugar…" Mephiles said.

"Ooooh, crap."

An kumquat smacked Silver upside the head and he snapped out of shock. "What happened?"

"Shadow's on a sugar rush, GhostKing's a quack, and Sonic just got caught by some insane Pokémon trainer." Blaze explained.

MEANWHILE IN POKEMON WORLD…

A creepy looking fire dragon thing was trying to eat Sonic.

Ah, that's not important right now.

Back with the other guys…

"Oh my gah did he just set that pizza on fire?" Silver asked, staring out a window looking horrified.

"I wouldn't doubt it." Blaze sighed.

Then a random TV popped up in the middle of GhostKing's yard; the kind of TV that pops up everywhere in SA2 when you're Knuckles of Rouge. Then a Wii appeared and Guitar Hero. Shadow zoomed by, grabbed the guitar, and played Through the Fire and Flames on Expert, getting a 100%. But the Wii disagreed and screamed, "SONG FAILED, 100% ON EXPERT."

"Jeez, even when perfect isn't good enough…" Blaze sighed as the TV burst into flames.

Chaos Zero popped up from the ground and extinguished the TV, restoring it to normal. He played Through the Fire and Flames and failed three seconds in. "WIN." The TV protested.

Everyone turned their attention back to Shadow, who was sort of vibrating in place on account of sugar and caffeine. His left eye twitched a lot and then he found a banana the size of GhostKing's Algebra book.

"Dang, that's a big banana." Silver said, looking hungry.

"It doesn't exist!" Mephiles said.

"Yes, it does." GhostKing said back. "He's eating it."

Shadow ate the banana and ran around in circles.

Then Midna from Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess appeared. "I don't care, b*tches!" She said loudly.

"Where did she come from?" Blaze asked.

"I don't know, this is the CrackFic of Doom." Silver shrugged.

Then Black Doom appeared. "EN GUARD, SWIFT STRIKE!" he said evilly.

"AAAGH!" Everyone dived out of the way to avoid being hit by gigantic flaming comet things. GhostKing's house exploded.

That was about when Linkin Park showed up again, this time singing Wretches and Kings.

"STEEL UNLOAD, FINAL BLOW! WE, THE ANIMALS, TAKE CONTROL! HEAR US NOW! CLEAR UNTOLD; WRETCHES AND KINGS, WE COME FOR YOU!" And they launched into an epic guitar solo thing that made Through the Fire and Flames look lame.

"STUPID TOAD!" Midna screamed louder.

"I got my eye on you." Black Doom said evilly.

"Stalker!" Silver squeaked.

And then a Vortex of Space opened and they were both sucked into it. But somehow Silver, Blaze, Mephiles, GhostKing and the whole of Linkin Park were not effected.

But once the Vortex ate Doom and Midna, Bon Jovi jumped out and there was an epic battle of the bands.

"OOOAAA! WE'RE HALFWAY THERE! WWHHAAAOOAA! LIVEN' ON A PRAYER!" Bon Jovi sang epically.

"SO GIVE ME REASON! TO PROVE ME WRONG, TO WASH THIS MEMORY CLEAN! LET THE THOUGHTS CROSS, THE DISTANCE IN THE RISE! ACROSS THIS NEW DIVIDE!" Linkin Park countered.

GhostKing took off her sweater, revealing an epic emo rocker suit thing underneath, and sided with Linkin Park with their New Divide.

Bon Jovi looked rejected until Silver joined them and sang You Give Love a Bad Name epically.

GhostKing grabbed a guitar and played an epic solo.

Silver grabbed drumsticks and played an epic solo.

GhostKing's guitar shot a laser.

Silver caused an earthquake.

The neighborhood was demolished.

(…Crap, I liked it there…)

GhostKing played Eruption from Metallica epically. It made Mephiles cry from pure epicness.

Silver played a random solo he made up himself. It was also epic.

…But then Manic booted him out from behind the drums and took over.

"AW CRAP I AM NO MATCH FOR THE EPICNESS!" GhostKing wailed, taking the guitar and smashing it over Shadow's head as he ran by.

The smash sort of created a black hole effect, sucking in everything in a twenty mile radius, which would be the bands, the demolished neighborhood, and the carbon based life forms.

"HEY WE NEED SOMEONE ON KEYBOARD! ONE WILD NIGHT!" John Bon Jovi said.

GhostKing ran to the keyboard, abandoning Linkin Park. They got mad and went away.

"ONE WILD NIGHT!" Silver and Bon Jovi sang.

ONE EPIC SONG LATER…

Everyone was sitting around a campfire. Except the bands. They left to perform a gig somewhere. Oh, and Shadow. He was tied to a tree.

"I like marshmallows!" Silver said happily.

A fire spirit rose out of the fire and said a prophecy. "Beware of sharp things," It said.

"Um…ok." Blaze said, glancing around to make sure no one had anything sharp.

While no one was looking, Manic jumped in the flames and somehow got teleported to a random planet in the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. "AAAAHHAAA IT BURNZZ!"

Everyone kinda sat there for a few seconds.

"Beware sharp things," The fire spirit said again. "and that guy."

"Sure thing." Mephiles said, looking creeped out. The Fire spirit melted away into the air, catching the air on fire. But then it died. No worries.

"OMG! OMG! I HEAR REVIEWERS GIVING US THE EVIL EYE!" Shadow shouted randomly.

"No, that's just Black Doom." Blaze said.

"The reviewers want something besides this crap." Doom said evilly. "I'm just the messenger."

"…How can you hear the evil eye?" Silver wondered.

"NO PARADOXES!" GhostKing screamed.

Everyone sat there for a long time. The only sound was the fire crackling.

"Shadow broke the fourth wall again." GhostKing muttered to herself. "Great."

"What was that?" Silver asked. "I don't see any walls."

"AUTHOR LAWS! PAY NO ATTENTION!"

There was a random explosion in the distance and Dark Gaia broke open the land, setting free Pokémon.

"AW, CRAP!" Everyone shouted.

5 MINUETS LATER…

They all had hid in the tree Shadow was tied to, escaping the evil enraged Pokémon Wrath of Kahn. (LOL STAR TREK 4-EVAH!)

"That was kinda close." Everyone said.

"Hey, go away!" GhostKing said. "Who are you, anyway?"

"I'm Everyone." Everyone said. "I'm just some OC that everyone hates."

"Go away." Mephiles hissed.

Everyone went away.

"SWINE FLU!" Shadow shouted.

"Now what? We're stranded in a random planet." Blaze asked.

"Maybe we should do what that other guy did and jump in fire." Silver suggested.

"It looked like it hurt, though." GhostKing thought.

"If it means getting back home, then I'm ok with that."

TROLOLOLOL

THIS SUCKS