I'm back and I still own nothing!
Me: Will, I told you not to touch that lawn mower!
Will: What is a lawn mower?
Me: It's a magical machine that cuts the grass for you. As long as you steer. Kind of like a horse with a blade attached to it.
Will: YOU'RE GOING TO STAB MY HORSE? YOU MONSTER! Kill her, Halt. ...'Cause apparently, I'm a "bed wetter"
Halt: Well, it's true! Remember that one time after you fought the Kalkara…
Will: I have no idea what your talking about. Hmph!
Halt: Yes you do! You came screaming into my room because the nightmares were so bad that you'd wet the bed!
Will: Let's all sing a song! -whispers in Sam's ear-
Sam: Okay!
Sam and Will: -sing-
Graybeard Halt is a fighting man.
I've heard common talk,
That Graybeard Halt he cuts his hair.
With a carving knife and fork
Fare thee well, Graybeard Halt.
Fare thee I say.
Fare thee well, Graybeard Halt.
For tomorrow's another day.
Graybeard Halt, he lives with the goats.
That's what I've heard tell.
He hasn't changed his socks for years,
But the goats don't mind the smell
Fare thee well, Graybeard Halt.
Fare thee I say.
Fare thee well Graybeard Halt
For tomorrow's another day!
Sam: I've always loved that song!
Will: Me too!
Halt: You better run, Will!
Will: -runs in circles while screaming like a girl
Halt: -chases Will in circles while screaming like a Kalkara-
Sam: Halt, wait! Do you have any poetry?
Halt: -stops in his tracks- Dang right I do!
Sam: -mutters- What has the future done to you?
Halt: Here is my fo' shizzle-ing poetry. Here it is:
Sam: You said here it is like, twice, stupid.
Halt: SHUT UP OR FACE MY WRATH MORTAL!
Sam: -mumbles- awwwwwwwkwaaaaaaard
Halt is Totally Freaking Beast By Halt Halt is totally freaking beast He's not ugly in the least It's like his muscles have yeast. They're huge. Halt has a really hot wife She is the love of his life So they live in Redmont fief Away from the toil and strife… Of dealing with Will on Red Bull Gilan thinks he's better than Halt And on his popcorn, he likes salt But Gilan is nothing compared to Halt. Because Halt is totally freaking beast The End.
Sam: Will, is Halt supposed to be medicated?
Will: No, he's just on coffee withdrawal
Sam: Oh, okay. Maybe we should take him to Starbucks.
Halt: -moans- I need my coffeeeeeee!
Sam: C'mon let's go steal a car or something…
Will: What's a car?