Private Thoughts Are Best Kept Private.

AU slightly. Mature for sexual references and mild swearing.

September 1st 1978

"Dear Journal,

Well I'm alive to start seventh year, and I'm sure it'll be So much fun. Note sarcasm.

Anyway, I'm on the train with Avery, Nott and Bullstrode; they all keep asking me what I'm writing and start shouting 'Sevvies got a Diary' when I tell them it's nothing. I haven't seen the idiotic Gryffindors yet and Lily actually waved to me. I think I must have looked shocked or something because she giggled and began to board the train, after I waved back like my arm was made of lead.

After writing the entry last night I had the strangest dream. It was arousing and disgusting at the same time. It was probably because Lucius, Potter and Black were in one frame at the same time. I don't want to explain it really.

I think that's about it.

- Severus

OxoXoxO

September 1st 1973

The Gryffindorks cornered me after my trip to the bathroom on the train. I came back to the compartment looking like a drenched fish. Apparently my hair looks 'great for seaweed a substitute'.

Dinner was irritating. That Old Fool actually began to talk about House Unity! As if that will ever happen. There were only three first years to come to Slytherin this year. The majority went to Gryffindor and Ravenclaw.

Somehow they found me after dinner too! I was walking alone through a shortcut I had found in fourth year, reading a Dark Arts book. Avery had told me the password after getting it off a Prefect so I wouldn't have to wait for morning or for another prefect to find me.

I had stopped because one page of writing didn't make sense. It began with The Unforgivables on one side and different types Slow Poisons for interrogation use on the other. I began to un-stick the two pages when I heard voices behind me so I marked the page and walked quickly down the hidden corridor. I somehow ended up at a dead end.

The voices were getting closer now and I managed to distinguish them. There was a laugh that sounded like bark. Black?!

Shit.

Holding the book under my arm I moved my hand across the wall. I don't see how it could have closed up as it had went all the way up to the Fifth Floor without a break when I had found it, a joining hallway every few minutes on the left or right. Hogwarts is a magical school after all, maybe it just hates me that much it has to mock me.

The group behind me was within sight by then and they had spotted me, if the malicious laughter and insults were any indication. I just stood in one spot, facing the stone and braced myself for impact. Why the hell did I have to leave my wand in my trunk?!

I think it was Potter that grabbed the back of my robes, turned me around and shoved me against the wall. My head hit the wall and I saw stars. He put his mouth as close to my ear as he could without touching my hair and whispered something, even though everybody heard it and laughed. Lupin didn't though, I think.

"Awww, you lost Snivelly?"

I didn't say anything because I was still too dizzy to even look at him. My eyes were shut tight. Potter released my robes and someone else took his place. Black, I presume. Lupin wouldn't join in with their games and Pettigrew is a coward as I have established before.

Black leaned on me heavily, to put me out of breath I think. Well, it worked. I felt my face heat up.

"Well, Snivelly? What's your answer?"

I turned my head away. My heartbeat had started to climb when his breath fluttered across my face. I don't know how someone could become sick that fast but I was.

He pushed away from me and said something to Potter. They laughed, Pettigrew, the rat, joined in pathetically.

"Hey, Padfoot. I dare you to..." Potter whispered into his ear conspiratorially. Black gasped, whether it was false or not I couldn't tell.

"Alright, Prongs. You've got a deal. One minute though, only."

"You got it, Pads." What kind of Nicknames are these anyway? Dim-witted numb-skulls.

Black grabbed the front of my robes and pushed some panel in the wall then pulled me through the newly appeared doorway toward the Fifth Floor corridor that was suddenly closer than I remembered. The other three waited outside a room, keeping watch somehow without getting caught, as Black pushed me roughly through the Prefect's bathroom door after saying the password (Lemony fresh).

He pulled me up as I struggled to get away from him. He was stronger than I was though, as most were, and held me against the wall.

Whatever they had been talking about in the passageway I had not been expecting this.

Black...Well I think I must have gone into shock because I don't remember much. The seconds somehow felt like an hour and still he was there. His hands wondered inside my robes, un-tucking my shirt and sliding it under, toward my chest. My eyes closed and my hands held themselves onto his shoulders. I seriously hoped he wasn't doing what I thought he was doing.

His hand went in another direction and pulled at the waistband of my trousers, unhooking the front and pulling down the zip. I felt a jolt up my spine and started when he began to stroke me through my boxers. The hand moved up and slid inside. By this time I was very hard, we both knew it. It was over in the matter of minutes and he slipped out before I was gathering myself up again.

I didn't hear them walk away and stood in there for ten minutes before using a Cleaning Charm and hurrying down some generally invisible short cuts to the Common Room, which was empty, thank Salazar, and straight up to the Dorm. I changed quickly and quietly so I wouldn't wait the others.

Tomorrow will be awkward. I severely hope our classes aren't mixed. A hope that is very much in vain, as Dumbledore deliberately puts us all together I'm sure.

Also...Black tastes like cherries.

- Severus

Severus shut the book and locked it with a charm he invented that kept the book with him at all times and alerted him to any one trying to open it. It also had Dark Magic Locks on it and was charmed to look like his old Third year second-hand potions text.

He didn't know why Black had kissed him, probably on a dare, and he didn't really care.

It would be difficult getting to sleep tonight. Especially with his lips still tingling from that searing kiss, and a trail of cold fire where Black had touched, right down to the...

But was that normal? He was sure that not being able to get one of your enemies' face out off your mind couldn't be normal, but it didn't seem to matter when his soothing voice was lulling him to sleep...

OxoXoxO

Very sorry about not updating this earlier, but I won't make any excuses. Simply because I haven't really got any.

Anybody got any ideas? I'd just intended this to be a one-shot but I could make it last, I suppose.