"Wake up, Rima! Wake up! We're late! Come on!" My mother called impatiently from downstairs. My eyes opened right away as I felt a sudden weight on my head, as if thirty pounds were added. I had one of the worst headaches ever and I felt enormously lightheaded.

Kusukusu vulnerably glanced down at me, her eyes weary as if she just woke up as well. "Rima, let's talk to the Guardians about this. A month has been—"

I shook my head sternly. "No."

"Rima! If you won't, I will!" The clown chara squealed as she started tearing up.

"I need to get ready for school now," I muttered, ignoring her threat. I got up from my bed to walk over to my mirror. I looked in the reflection to see my hair tangled, thanks to Papa for pulling on it recklessly. I sighed and tried fixing it but it proved to be snarled. I bent in closer to see my eyes were red and puffing—a result for crying too much. I moaned again.

When I grabbed the cover-up I use to usually hide my puffy eyes, I realized I had a huge red mark on my cheek. Gasping in horror, I poked it. Once I did, I recoiled and bit my lip. Not knowing how to hide the redness, I put cover-up on it as well.

I switched out of my nightgown and switched to the clean uniform that was on my dresser in half a minute.

I gawked at myself in the mirror and held a blank stare on my face. Realizing I forgot to put in my headband, I hurriedly picked it up and placed it in my hair.

"Riiiiima…," Kusukusu groaned from no where.

"Be quiet about it," I demanded softly, my eyes full of untold pain. "Don't tell anyone."

"I'm sick of seeing you suffer!"

"The nights have gradually gotten better," I reminded her immediately. "In this case, I won't suffer that much anymore."

"Rima! That's just an excuse! I'm telling! I'm going to tell!" Kusukusu whined as she grabbed her blonde hair in frustration.

I sighed and closed my amber eyes, thinking of what to do. "This is my only choice," I whispered mournfully. "I'm sorry."

My small hand reached to grab Kusukusu and despite her frightened yelps, I firmly had a grip on her small body. Glancing from the side of my eyes, I spotted an old jewelry box. I opened the wooden handle and dropped her in there and closed it shut. I grabbed the key that was on the right side of the table and locked it.

"Riiiima! What are you doing?!" her muffled cries rang out. "It's scary in here!"

"Kusukusu, until you promise me that you won't tell, I'm keeping you in there," I explained wretchedly, my voice drained.

My only chara didn't say anything.

"I have to get ready now," I said while taking the key and hooking it on my bracelet chain. "I'm sorry, Kusukusu. I'll see you when I get home?" It sounded more like a question than a statement.

Again, my chara didn't say anything.

-x-

"No, you listen here!" Mama shouted into her cell phone while driving me to school. She paused and listened for a moment. When Mama heard something she didn't like, she continued to yell, "Why do you always blame me?! … Me?! … That's not even my— … … EXCUSE ME?!"

I sighed and looked out the window and held my backpack close to my stomach. With the constant pain of my headache and the gnawing ache in my stomach, I could tell school today would prove to be exhausting and seem like a lifetime. I wouldn't even have Kusukusu to make me try to seem positive.

"Rima?! What about her?! You—… … — Okay. … Fine." While maintaining steering the wheel, she thrust the phone with her left hand in front of me. "He wants to talk to you."

My eyes widened in shock as I slowly reached for the flip phone. "Hello?" I asked quietly.

"Rima," he breathed curtly. "I remember last night."

I swallowed.

"For disobeying me and disrespecting me, I've grounded you." I tried thinking back to what I did wrong, but the only thing I could see him getting irritated over was when I said no to Kusukusu but he thought I was talking about his 'unsuccessful genes'. "You no longer can go to these Guardian meetings until I say so."

"Papa…" I whispered, feeling my world dim even more. Not wanting to let him hear how he got to me, I passed up the phone back to Mama for her to continue another fight.

I'm gland my tear glands didn't have anymore water for me to cry out. I didn't feel like reapplying my cover-up, anyways.

-x-

"Rima-tan!" Yaya wailed in an excited tone as I jogged over to my seat, hoping I was going moderately fast because I was late. I gave a weak smile in reply as I sat down my bag on the table in the Royal Garden. Today was a Tuesday and every Tuesday and Thursday, we had a short meeting in the morning.

"Rima, where were you?" Amu asked loudly as she gave me a baffled look on her face. I cringed at the loud tone of her voice since my headache wasn't fading.

"I'm just late, sorry," I murmured, my eyes not glancing up from my cup of tea that was placed out for me.

"Mashiro-san, please arrive on time next time. All right?" Tadase asked politely, a smile on his flawless face.

I nodded and licked my chapped lips. "I'm sorry," I repeated in a stronger voice.

"Rima-tan looks drained!" The ace pointed out with a frown. "Not enough sleep is bad for you!"

Nagihiko laughed softly and somewhat defended me, "Too much candy is also bad for you, Yaya-chan."

"Yaya cannot help her addiction!" she pouted angrily.

Miki hovered up to me and asked boldly, "Where's Kusukusu?"

"Hmm, I was actually beginning to wonder about that as well…" Amu stated while she turned her attention to me.

"She's not feeling too well," I lied perfectly. "She said she'd rather stay home today."

"Eh? My subject is sick?" Kiseki asked impassively as he stayed by Tadase's shoulder.

I shrugged, "I guess you could say that."

Nagihiko's chara floated up to my face. "Aw! Tell Kusukusu that I hope she feels better," Rhythm gave me thumbs up after saying this and a wink.

Ran nodded and waved her pompoms, "Yeah! Let's go and cheer her up after school!"

Yaya and Pepe cheered merrily, agreeing with them.

I stopped myself from widening my eyes in horror. I kept a blank face and shook my head. "Before I left, she wanted me to explain to you guys that she'd rather not have company. She knew you guys would be thoughtful enough to suggest something like this."

They all smiled except for Nagihiko. "Can Charas even get sick?" he questioned daringly while his left eyebrow went up.

Tadase started to speak before I had the chance. "Yes, Nagihiko, but it's rare," he briefly commented. He paused as he looked like he was trying to gather up an explanation but he just sighed. "May we please get on with the meeting?"

-x-

I was walking to class with a dazed expression on my face, wondering how Kusukusu was faring. I gripped my palms angrily as I felt the key that locked her in enter in my hand from the bracelet.

"Rima?" Amu asked suddenly, her light yellow eyes shown signs of uncertainty. I had forgotten I was walking with Amu and that made me feel like a horrible friend.

"Yeah?" My heart raced when I thought of possible situations that could happen and end up negatively.

"Class is… this way…" She gave me a concerned look while pointing in the other direction. "Hey, are you okay?"

No. I'm not okay. I'm so unstable it's intolerable! I need help, Amu… Help me… I thought to myself helplessly but I didn't say these words out loud.

"Yeah, why?" I firmly stated with a hint of disappointment in myself for not saying anything.

"Nothing, you just seem… gloomier." The pink haired changed the subject immediately, "We're going to be late so we should hurry, okay?"

I shook my head, "Actually," I muttered in my soft voice, "I think I might go see the nurse."

"Both you and Kusukusu don't feel well?"

I slightly nodded. "I just have a really bad headache, she's just tired," I said, telling only half the truth. My headache still wasn't getting any better.

"Oh... Is that why you're not like yourself?" I felt my heart crack—why wasn't I never fully convincing at hiding my emotions?

"Yeah, I should have said something about it earlier. But since I was late, I didn't want to cause anymore problems…" I lied while I looked down, preparing to fake cry.

Amu then waved her arms and then violently shook my shoulders. "Get a grip, Rima! We're Guardians! We'll always help you—no matter how small or big a problem is!"

What happens when you can't help the situation? "Ahh, thank you, Amu…" I murmured gratefully, my eyes honestly sparkling. "But… I must go now… it just keeps getting worse…"

Her eyes widened then. "Yeah… and—oh, crap! I'm going to be laaaate!~" My best friend turned on her heels and sprinted around the corner after shouting, "Bye, Rima! Feel better!"

I nodded and waved slowly, realizing she wouldn't wave back.

I then decided on something pretty risky.

Instead of heading to the nurse's office like I had seriously planned, I turned on my heels and started to run as fast as my small legs could. However, instead of being able to run for awhile, I had to stop to take breaks because of my non-athletic body and my aching head.

I wondered why my small head hurt so much—I don't exactly remember hitting it. Oh, wait. Papa punched me on the temple… Can't people die from getting hit in the temple? Or am I just worrying too much?

I was close to the exit of the school when I hit someone. I collapsed backwards and I moaned in discomfort. I heard a random sound, as if something small and metal fell. Not taking it much into mind, I decided it was best to just move on.

"Sorry…" I muttered, without looking at the person since I was paying attention to the floor. I got up instantly and started to run around the person, huffing and puffing.

I realized how easy it was just to get up and … well, leave. After I was out of the gate, I started to run home to get Kusukusu. Usually, it took around twenty-five minutes to walk home… but if I took the park way and if I jogged, maybe I could make it before homeroom was over. So—

"Useless…" A familiar voice cried behind me and I stopped in absolute horror, my mouth wide open. My hair propelled in front of me and then fell back down with gravity. "Uuuuseleeeess…" It repeated; its voice feeble.

The X-egg shot at me at lightning speed and I tried to dodge, but it hit me in the stomach. I don't know if this is lucky or not, but there was no one in the park at the time.

I coughed and spit out blood when I realized I was pretty much insignificant without Kusukusu.

"My best friend doesn't love me back …" the egg whispered, "so I'm useless…"

Teen angst? I thought disgustingly while wiping my mouth from dripping blood. "It's not like you know what love is anyways," I muttered out coldly.

I can tell I angered it even more. This time, it shot out that ghastly beam of whatever X-eggs shoot out.

Since I was slow and already in pain, I tried to evade again, but it ended up ineffective. I was hit and I felt like I was being burnt by a fire that had no smoke. I yelped and was thrown backwards on my side.

Not knowing what to do, I tried to get up; I thought running away would be easy. Nope. It tackled me again and I felt more blood come up from my mouth. Coughing excessively, I tried to regain my breath but it took a few more moments. As I sat, I questioned what I was going to do.

"Useless… everything in my life is useless… we always hang out… but he never gets my drift… so my life is now useless…" It hummed out and I couldn't believe my ears.

"Stop being so irrational!" I howled crossly, re-wiping my mouth from the new dose of crimson liquid. "Your drift probably isn't strong enough so stop thinking it's his fault for misunderstanding!"

"It's useless though… he already has a girlfriend…"

"Then if you really 'loved' him, you'd be supportive of them!" I shook my head in complete disapproval. "Why try to be suggestive to him when he's already in a relationship?! Just wait! Every relationship has to come to an end—and childish romances like these last only for a week at tops!"

Instead of it being one of those heartwarming moments where you give advice to an X-egg and they learn from their mistakes, this egg was one of the rare cases that went against everything and stubbornly kept attacking.

Just my luck.

"Useless…" it muttered again as it floated higher in the air, which made it look like it was preparing for a wide-range attack.

Suddenly frightened and feeling alone, I tried getting up. But from all the attacks I took and from my previous wounds from days before, I was too exhausted to move. Not only that, but I was also mentally fatigued.

I hastily tucked in my head into my two arms and formed a ball, letting whatever attack it was going to create, hit me.

But after I heard it store energy, made an annoying squeal sound, and felt nothing coming at me, I finally glanced up.

"Nagihiko?!" I sputtered out, my voice thin and confused as I saw the Jack walking towards me nonchalantly.

"Rima-chan, are you okay?" He asked fearfully as he held the X-egg in the palm of his two hands while he was in his character transformation with Rhythm.

"This is too cliché," I mumbled irritably. "I should have lost this match instead of becoming a pathetic damsel in distress, getting saved by you."

"But you didn't lose," The long-haired boy smiled.

"Technically," I growled, "I did lose. You won."

He shook his head as he held up the egg that was trapped in his hands. "Nope, see, this person's egg still has an X on it."

"So we're both failures?" I asked quietly while I looked at him from being on the ground.

"You're more of a failure though," Nagihiko confessed with a hardened expression. "Because you left school."

"I want to check on Kusukusu," I muttered miserably, looking away from him. But… you left school too… I thought, secretly infuriated.

"She's not sick, is she?"

I bit my lip and leisurely shook my head; hating how he can see right through my lies.

Before Nagihiko transformed out of Beat Jumper, he took off his hat. Then as he went back to normal, the hat didn't dissolve with the rest of his attire. He cautiously put the X-egg in it, cornering in the egg. He then grabbed the top and held it to his side before looking back at me. Rhythm didn't pop out of him though and I wondered why. Was it because he still had the hat? I was confused but I didn't really bother asking, it wasn't that big of a deal anyways.

"Are you still willing to go do whatever you were going to do?" he asked with no tone. Was he disappointed in me?

I narrowed my golden eyes. "I was going to go check on her."

"What happened? Why does she need checked on if she's not sick?"

I didn't answer and threw in a different question, "Why are you ever here?! Are you some kind of stalker?!"

Nagihiko laughed and shook his head. "No, you ran into one of my classmates. He came in late and his excuse was that he ran into you. I sit by him and questioned him about it and he saw you leaving school grounds in urgency."

I tried to compose myself and I smiled a little bit. "I didn't even look at who I ran into."

"Kirishima."

Anger at myself built inside of me and the pity I felt for him for him grew since I denied his confession long ago. Now I felt like a major bitch for ignoring him in the hallway.

"Don't get too guilty, now. He understands that you—"

"Do you know what it feels like?!" I spat, glaring at him. "I hate making people feel worthless and not good enough! I just… hate it!" It's an after affect for what Papa and Mama do to me… I thought suddenly, realizing why I felt so strongly about that certain subject.

Taken aback, he looked thoughtful for a moment. After a moment passed, he sat down by me in the grass and I grew frustrated by this. I frankly didn't want to sit by him because he just ticks me off in general.

"I do know what it feels like," he muttered as he looked at his hat, watching the X-egg squirm inside. "If I wasn't so modest, I'd say some things right now about how I have my own admirers, too."

I rolled my eyes and glared at him. "You're not being modest right now. You're just holding back from telling lies."

Nagihiko smiled faintly and shrugged, staying quiet.

Why did he even come to check on me in the first place? I mused, finally realizing that he was worried about me. My face went blank and I couldn't help but try to wonder that why Fujisaki Nagihiko would cut class to check on me. He would never be late, leave class early, or even imagine to fail a test. Why would he ditch? Even though this perplexed me, it also brought on this warm feeling.

"You know," he started while I felt his brown gaze lock in on the back of my head. Afraid, I didn't look at him because the tone of his voice was extremely serious. "There's something wrong."

"Oh? Like what? You've finally realized its wrong to crossdress?" I teased with a joking smile on my face while I turned to him to look at him.

"No." Nagihiko sighed, shaking his head forlornly. "Something wrong with you."

"If there's anything wrong, it'd be with you—not me," I scoffed. While arrogantly closing my eyes and made a pouting face, I raised a finger, indicating the number one. "First off, I actually lead a normal life. I don't have to pretend that I'm the opposite gender at times." Two fingers. "I don't have to lie to my best friend about being a girl, because I'm already one." Three fingers. "Uh… Well—"

"Enough, Rima-chan," he demanded as I opened my eyes, curious to see his expression.

"Well then, don't accuse me that there's something wrong. Because there isn't. You're just being stupid." I wondered if I went over the line and if I seemed too protective so it'd really seem like there was a problem with me.

"Forget it," Nagihiko muttered as his grip on the hat increased.

I looked down at my fingers and shame flew over me for being such a coldhearted person for being like that to someone who wanted to help.

But even though I hated this loneliness feeling that I had no one to rely on, this had to be done. No one can find out. Ever.

I don't want them to be involved in this horrifying life.

But I wonder, is that me being selfless or selfish?

I updated. (;
Well, since the first chapter's A/N was SUPPPEERRR long, I'll keep this short. :3
Thanks for reading!~ ^^

You. Should. Definitely. Review. :D

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