A/N: What secrets does the Great Itachi hide?! I dunno, so I made them up.
Disclaimer: It's fan-fiction, people.
-
-
-
-
Wednesday, August 1st
Dear Diary,
Today, was like any other day. Some crack-obsessed-four-eyed-girl tried to glomp me. It was her sweet 16, so I made an exception.
"Oi, Itachi. Stop writing in your precious diary and get your butt in gear. We have a mission."
Kisame, you are next on my hit-list.
-
-
-
-
Monday, August 6th
Dear Diary,
I'm sick of these bags under my eyes. They're ruining my complexion. I ordered some creams to get rid of them, but it seems I was born with them. Another reason I killed my father. But, my photographer from Ford Models told me they have a certain appeal to the ladies...
"Itachi, your order from Mary Kay is here!"
Sweet.
-
-
-
-
Saturday, August 11th
Dear Diary,
I HATE my name! Why did my parents name me 'weasel'?! Why can't it be something cool, like Sesshomaru, the 'Killer Perfection'?!. That name pawns even my own!
"Itachi, can I borrow your 'Inuyasha' manga?'
"No."
Kishimoto, I quit. Until you give me a cool name, I'm off with Rumiko's lot. Sesshomaru is a true inspiration for big brothers everywhere.
-
-
-
-
Thursday, August 16th
Dear Diary,
Kishimoto filed a law-suit against me, so, I had no choice but to stay. Damn him. Kazuku is pissed at me, since he had to pay the law-suit.
"Oi, Itachi, have you seen my Fish Flakes?"
Why do I have to feed Kisame?!
-
-
-
-
Monday, August 20th
Dear Diary,
It seems all I've been doing is ranting and/or complaining. I can't help it! My life isn't perfect, and my love life is practically non-existant!
"Itachi, what do I do with these 10 barrels of fangirl love-letters that came today?"
"Burn them."
The love is one-sided on their part. -smirk- I own those bitches.
-
-
-
-
Saturday, August 25th
Dear Diary,
OMG! It's a tragedy! I went to visit my optometrist for my vision check-up and she said that I needed...
"Oi! Look where you're going, you four-eyed weasel!"
Pft, Deidara, I can still beat your ass any day. In fact, I can beat anybody's ass! But first, I'm gonna whoop the stupid Ford Model agency! They'll regret the day they fired Uchiha Itachi!
-
-
-
-
Sunday, August 31st
Dear Diary,
I GOT CONTACTS! YAY! And the fangirl fan-letters are coming in faster than ever! Hey, the crack-obsessed-four-eyed-girl's letter is in here, too!
"Itachi,
You are t-e-h shiz! I got contacts, too! Now that we have something in common, please, MARRY ME!
If you don't I'll tell the whole world about your little 'plastic surgery' fiasco.
XOXOXXOXO -DNNB"
"Oi, Itachi, where are you goin'?"
"To buy wedding rings."
-
-
-
-
A/N: Who is this 'mysterious' crack-obsessed-four-eyed-girl? Cookies to whoever can guess who it is...
(...ignore the flashing arrows behind me, okies?)
Well, at least Itachi solved the problem to continue the Uchiha clan.
Funny? Crack-y? The worst thing you've ever read?
Push the pretty lavender button (submit 'review') and my fortune shall be told!
Next victim, Kisame!