Bert waited impatiently in the lobby of Dewey, Cheatem and Howe absently flipping through the pages of a magazine. Bert was not interested in the magazines, which were mostly legal journals or out of date news rags, but they offered something to pass the time while waiting.
"Mr. Raccoon?" a feminine voice called from behind the receptionist's desk. "Ms Badger is ready to see you now."
Bert put the magazine down and got up from the chair the secretary buzzed him thorough the electronic lock and he entered the office. The stark contrast between the incandescent lights that dimly lit lobby to the bright fluorescent lights that lit the offices was marked.
The interior office was mostly a cubical farm with various people typing or talking on the phones as they carried out their various tasks. At the end of the cube farm a young female badger stood waiting for him. She held out her hand in greeting. "You must be Bert Raccoon." She said as she shook his hand. "I am Rebecca Badger you called our office in regard to child support payments." The badger and raccoon both walked down a brightly lit hallway.
"Actually I want to see my daughter. The judge wouldn't order visitation and her mother refuses to let me see her at all." Bert said as the lawyer ushered him into her office closing the door behind them.
Rebecca's office was small a desk sat in the middle of the room filing cabinets lined the walls and on the walls themselves her diplomas and awards hung neatly. A stack of manila folders stood neatly next to a picture frame on the desk.
"Please sit down Mr. Raccoon." Rebecca motioned to the two chairs in front of her desk. Bert took one of the seats as the lawyer took her own seat. She pulled a file from one of the stacks and knocked over the picture frame.
Bert caught the frame and looked at it briefly before placing it back on her desk. The picture showed his lawyer standing next to an older male badger. "Is that your father?"
"Oh no, I wish."
"Husband, boyfriend?"
"I wish he were any of those three. He was actually my mentor before I went into law. He went into politics right after I went into law school and is now the Minister of Justice." Rebecca moved the picture and frame further down her desk away from the stack of files. Rebecca returned to the file she originally pulled out and began to leaf through it. "You realize it will be difficult to get visitation. It says here that you recently admitted parentage and prior to that you had no contact with the child."
"That's all true but I never knew about her. Her mother just told me I was her father a week ago."
"Were you attempting to hide?"
"Hide? Heck I'm in the paper."
"Well I guess that is true. So you are a newspaper columnist do you have any other sources of income?"
"I'm a part time reporter for the Evergreen Standard newspaper. I'm also the owner of Evergreen Raccoons Marketing the printer of the Standard and some freelance stuff. Oh and I'm also head of distribution." Bert puffed himself up and his clever resume enhancement.
"You mean you're the paperboy"
Bert was taken aback. "How did you know?"
"You delivered my paper this morning." The lawyer said holding up a copy of the Evergreen Standard.
"Hee hee I guess you would know."
"What about your living arrangements?"
"Well I live with my friends Ralph and Melissa. I stay in their guest bedroom."
"You don't even live on your own?"
"No, not technically I guess."
"You guess?"
Bert looked sheepish, "I can come and go as I please."
"Can you? I'm impressed."
"You think I'm some schulb who drifts around and doesn't do anything all day, don't you?" The lawyer said nothing. "Ok so maybe I sleep till noon and go fishing during the afternoon but you know what printing presses don't work too well when it is hot and since I spent all my money on the press I can't afford climate control so I run the press when I can, at night."
Bert continued, "And I give my friends' newspaper reduced rates for printing. So I don't think it is too much to ask that I get free room and board. The rest of my time I spend trying to get short run printing jobs to pay off the half a million dollar loan it took to buy the press. Now I have an extra five hundred dollars a month in child support for a kid I can't even see. Do you think I might have some reasons for living with my friends?"
The lawyer looked sympathetically at Bert it was unusual for males to come into her office seeking visitation. Most were resigned to defeat and were just trying to protect what little they had left asset wise after the divorce. "I can draw up a petition to the court for custody. I'm not going to lie to you Mr. Raccoon a father getting anything let alone joint custody is rare. It usually only happens when the mother is on good terms with him or if she is completely insane."
"I just want to see my kid. That's all, I don't care about the money."
Delilah Blackmask lay next to her swimming pool soaking in the mid day sun. She was not asleep but was keeping her eyes closed in the hopes of catching up on her sleep with a nap. Unfortunately for her Cynthia had taken to playing basketball by herself and was dribbling the ball frequently before taking shots at the basket and frequently missing. "Do you have to do that here Cynthia?" She asked after the ball once again clanged against the backboard.
"This is the only basketball hoop we have mom."
"Why don't you go do some homework or something?"
"I already finished it."
"Well go play with your friends."
"They're all away for the long weekend. Do you want to play mom?" Cynthia asked almost pleading.
"You know I don't like basketball," the doorbell chimed, "now who could that be?" Delilah stood from the chase lounge and walked into her house drawing a shirt over her ample augmented chest.
As Delilah left her daughter muttered, "If you don't like basketball why did you have two put on your chest?" Cynthia shoot the basketball at the hoop missing completely.
Delilah opened the front door, "What do you want?" she shouted at the court bailiff on her doorstop.
The court bailiff was momentarily distracted by her accessories. "I'm sorry ma'am I have a court summons for Delilah Blackmask." The bailiff attempted to keep his eyes on her eyes but failed they had a habit of working their way downward.
Normally this would not bother Delilah after all she bought the objects of his attention just to get that reaction but it was annoying when trying to conduct business. She grabbed the papers from the bailiff and scanned them becoming increasingly angry the further she read. "You delivered what you needed to now get out!" she shouted at the flustered bailiff who scurried away.
Delilah slammed the door and retreated inside. She picked up a telephone receiver and furiously dialed her lawyer's number.
Anthony Shyster picked up the telephone only to be greeted by the screeching voice of his client Delilah Blackmask. He pulled the telephone away from his ear and winced. "Slow down Delilah, what is the problem?" Something that sounded like an angry chipmunk yelling into a telephone came through the receiver. "Relax Delilah, he's only the father they have no standing in a family court. This is just a ploy to get support reduced. I'll talk to his lawyer we'll negotiate a reduction in support payments then he'll be gone." There was more excited chatter from the other end of the phone. "No Delilah he'll never know." There was yet more excited chatter from the phone, "Even if he is foolish enough to try we can destroy him so thoroughly that no one will ever trust him again. Don't worry about it I'll handle everything."
The law offices of Engulf and Devour were much plusher than Dewey, Cheatem and Howe's. Here the wood paneling seemed real, the seating appeared to be genuine antiques and instead of old magazines on the tables brass lamps tastefully lit the lobby. Just opposite the elevator bank pictures of the law firm's founders, two wolves appropriately enough, gazed down on the visitors.
Bert and his attorney waited at the receptionist's desk to be buzzed in past the bulletproof glass double doors. Once the receptionist was sure they were on the approved list she handed them their visitor badges and let them in. A young intern waited to escort them down the hall to where Anthony Shyster stood outside meeting room 101. "Thank you Simon," he said to the intern as he ushered Bert and his lawyer into the conference room.
Engulf and Devour spared no expense in providing a luxurious working experience for its employees. The conference room was dominated by a large oak table that was surrounded by twenty executive style swivel chairs two of which near the head of the table were askew intended for them to sit.
Anthony Shyster walked ahead of Bert and his lawyer and pulled the chair at the head of the table out. He stood between the chair and table with his hand making a motion towards the two chairs meant for them. "Please sit down." His voice was pleasant. Bert hesitated to take orders from who was essentially his nemesis but his lawyer quickly took her seat so Bert followed suit.
Bert scanned the room as Anthony Shyster sat down and the two lawyers glanced through their papers. Several bookcases lined the walls Bert figured they had to be law books of some kind as this didn't seem to be a place where reading for pleasure was high on the agenda. Paintings of four-masted frigates hung on the walls which were painted a pinkish color referred to a salmon it was supposed to be a calming color. Bert was however feeling anything but calm as the two lawyers discussed the intricacies of the case.
For the most part Bert tuned out the two lawyers blabberings. The first time he showed any interest was when Anthony Shyster said, "I understand Mr. Raccoon's hardships and we are willing to compromise with him. We are willing reduce monthly child support payments to three hundred dollars a month as long as he drops his frivolous lawsuit against my client."
"I do not think you understand Mr. Shyster, my client is not interested in reducing support payments. What he wants is to see his daughter."
"That is unacceptable. My client will not allow it."
"There is no rational reason my client should not see his daughter. Many fathers take up parental responsibilities and do a fine job of it."
"While I cannot speak for Mr. Raccoon's parenting skills I do know that he does not have a stable income, he is reported to be quite lazy and he still lives with his parents."
"Friends." Bert said annoyed.
"Hmmm?" Anthony Shyster made a confused noise.
"They're my friends we grew up together even went to the same grade."
"You're kidding. They seemed so much more, mature."
"You should see them in the spring."
"Can we get back to the issue at hand?" Bert's lawyer asked annoyed that the conversation had gotten off topic.
"Mr. Raccoon I do not understand why you are turning down this generous offer."
"I want to see my daughter." Anthony Shyster looked perplexed as if he did not understand what Bert was saying. "Mr. Shyster don't you have any children?" Bert asked.
"Mr. Raccoon, I am a family courts lawyer. What makes you think I would be stupid enough to risk having children?"
Bert stood along with his lawyer, "Then I guess you really don't know." With that they both left.
Anthony Shyster frowned as Bert and his attorney walked out the door. He then picked up the receiver of the telephone and pressed the intercom button for his secretary. "Barbara this is Anthony get me Winston Weasely." Anthony Shyster leaned back in the chair and smiled. "Winston, it's Anthony I have a job for you."
Bert and his attorney waited at the plaintiff's table for Delilah and her attorney to arrive. The courtroom gallery was for the most part empty save for a lone weasel who was reading a newspaper and chewing a toothpick. Bert's attorney sat reading some legal briefs while Bert himself fiddled with his tie or absently drummed with his hands on the table. If there was one thing courts liked making you do it is waiting and Bert was not very good at waiting. Bert's attorney noticed his agitated state, "Nervous?"
"No, I just hate waiting. I could be working or something right now." Bert learned back on the chair with his arms folded across his chest.
"Waiting for things is part of life Bert especially in the legal profession where we go by judicial standard time which is to say we go when the judge feels like it."
At that moment Delilah Blackmask and her attorney entered the courtroom and made their way to the defendant's table. Delilah gave a death glance towards Bert just before taking her own seat. Bert could sense the hostility and immediately wished he was sitting in the seat his attorney was in. "Can we switch seats?" Bert asked.
Before his attorney could answer the judge entered the chamber. "All rise," intoned the bailiff.
"You may be seated." The judge said as she sat in her chair and adjusted her glasses. "I see the two of you are unable to work out your differences and once again are before my court. If I am to understand correctly Mr. Raccoon is suing for visitation."
"That is correct your honor." Bert's attorney said as she stood.
"I take it from your legal brief Mr. Shyster, that your client does not agree with Mr. Raccoon does she?"
"No your honor and we have outlined our objections in the brief you have."
"Yes I have reviewed them. "Ms. Badger what is your client's response."
"Your honor my client acknowledges his income has been unstable in the past but prior to this he has not needed very much to live. As far as his domestic situation he is currently in the process of finding a place of his own. We have provided details as to Mr. Raccoon's financial state."
The judge looked over the papers or at least gave the impression of looking them over then placed them back on the bench. "Very well seeing as how there is no reason to deny it Bert Raccoon will be awarded the third Saturday of every month for supervised visitation. This can be revisited if Mr. Raccoon's situation changes."
Bert allowed a quiet, "yes," to escape and pumped his fist discreetly even though it was against courtroom decorum. Bert's attorney as well was both surprised and pleased with the outcome. Prior to this case it was practically unheard of for a father to get anything in regards to custody or visitation once separated from the mother. Both Bert and his attorney shock hands in congratulation.
"We will have a hearing at a later date to determine whatever changes may be taken in regards to Mr. Raccoon's rights. This court is now adjourned." The judge banged her gavel and the ruling was now in force. Delilah got up and stormed out of the courtroom after court was adjourned. Her lawyer followed cringing at what he knew lay ahead.
Outside the courtroom Delilah let into her lawyer with all the venom of a snake. For his part Anthony Shyster simply looked disinterested in her ranting and waited to get a word in edgewise.
"To think I trust you to protect my daughter from some predatory male and you allow this to happen! What kind of crummy lawyer are you! The only time I want to see anything that has to do with that creature it better be a check! I did not hire you to let him anywhere near my daughter! Get him out of my life!" The infuriated female raccoon turned and stormed away leaving her attorney without letting him say a word.
The toothpick chewing weasel who watched the court proceedings walked up to Anthony Shyster and removed the toothpick from his mouth asking, "Why do you let her treat you like that?"
"She pays well not that that matters right now. I want you to do research on Bert Raccoon anything you can find the worse the better and get it to me as soon as possible. Your standard rates will apply." With that Anthony turned and left Winston Weasely alone.
"As long as I get paid I'll get you whatever you want." Winston placed the toothpick he was chewing back in his mouth.
To Be Continued