Spoons

Summary: James is bored, so Lily teaches him the muggle game called Spoons.

Disclaimer: All characters are JK Rowling's.

James was bored. Again.

And because of this, he chose to express his boredom in interesting ways.

Such as jumping all over first years.

And pretending to be a puppy.

And putting a charm on the roaring fire in the common room, causing it to fly around the room and singe off the eyebrows of unsuspecting Gryffindors.

And…

Before James could complete a half-mad idea, involving an umbrella and his father's nose hair clippers, Sirius dragged James up the stairs to his dormitory.

"Now stay there," Sirius said, attempting not to laugh at James pretending to be a jellyfish. "I'll get Lily."

At the mention of Lily's name, James attempted to pull himself together. He slicked back his hair and laid in what he clearly saw as a sexy manner on his bed. Sirius shook his head, and decided he probably should actually find Lily.

Lily, upon hearing Sirius' dilemma, suggested that Sirius bring James down. "On second thought," she said, thinking quickly, "I'll just come up there."

"Um… okay?" said Sirius, clearly confused.

"I am losing my patience with you, Black!" Lily growled. "Just keep James from jumping out the window!"

Sirius imagined what James could be doing at that moment and quickly sprinted up the stairs.

Lily found a pack of muggle playing cards and a pile of plastic spoons. "Perfect," she whispered gleefully.

James was still attempting to be sexy when Lily walked in. He then decided to be a cat and wound around Lily's legs, purring.

Disgusted, Lily wrenched her leg from James and slapped him on the head. Then, she heard laughter behind her.

Remus and Peter had made their way up the stairs and were laughing at James' latest antics. James, spurred by their approval, began to inch on the floor like a caterpillar.

"Okay, everybody stop!" Lily yelled. "Now I'm going to teach you how to play a muggle game, so just sit and be quiet!"

James immediately crossed his legs and sat on the floor, gazing up at Lily. Remus, Peter, and Sirius joined him, though less enthusiastically.

"Now, here's how the game works…"

Lily dealt four cards to everyone, and set four spoons in the middle.

"All you have to do is draw a card from the middle on your turn, and discard another one so you always have four cards in your hand. You want to get four of a kind, and when you do, grab a spoon from the middle… subtly. There are four spoons and five of us, so whoever doesn't get a spoon loses. It's really quite simple... Ready to try?"

The boys nodded in agreement and began to play.

After playing several rounds, Lily cried, "I think you have the hang of it. Now, since James looks bored, we'll up the stakes a bit."

"Are we going to switch games?" Peter whined. "I'm confused as it is!"

"No," Lily said, frowning at him. "Whoever loses has to drink a cup of water. Whoever goes to the bathroom first loses."

James giggled, Sirius guffawed, Remus merely smiled, and Peter looked nervous.

Lily dealt again, and they instantly settled into a state of intense concentration. Peter was, surprisingly, the first one to grab a spoon. Lily, Remus, and James followed, leaving Sirius without a spoon. Lily picked up a piece of parchment, wrote Sirius' name, and made a mark next to it, to keep track of who had lost. Then, James conjured a pitcher of water and five cups, filling one cup to the brim and handing it to Sirius.

After an hour, the score stood: Lily- 5, James-11, Remus- 2, Sirius-13, Peter-16. Clearly, Peter had been forced to drink the most water, as he was rocking back and forth while holding his cards. James was bouncing his leg slightly, and Sirius was tapping his foot impatiently.

Lily dealt once again, and they all picked up their cards. Lily almost instantly reached out to grab a spoon. Remus casually picked one up. James, Sirius, and Peter remained oblivious until James flung out a hand, grabbing a spoon. Sirius followed suit, leaving Peter to drink a glass of water. Lily poured the water from the pitcher slooooooowly, letting it drip into the glass. Peter's mouth twitched, and he began to rock faster. Lily handed him the glass with a smile. Peter slowly lifted the glass to his mouth, and began to sip it. Suddenly, he screamed, threw the glass, and raced for the bathroom.

Lily began to giggle uncontrollably as Peter screamed, "Help! My pants are stuck!" They all ignored Peter's desperate plea and played again. Their concentration was broken only by Peter calling from the bathroom, "Can I have a new pair of pants please?" Remus rolled his eyes and found Peter a clean pair of jeans. Sirius was the next to flee for the bathroom, followed closely by James.

It was between Lily and Remus. They played intensely until the score stood; Lily-20, Remus-20. They were tied. Remus was tapping his foot nervously on the floor and biting his lip, while Lily kept a serene expression on her face. Lily picked up a seven of clubs from the pile in the middle, and discarded a two of diamonds, leaving her with four sevens in her hand. She casually reached for a spoon, leaving Remus without one. She reached for the pitcher with an impish grin, and Remus' foot twitched faster. He bolted for the bathroom, and Lily squealed with delight.

Remus returned from the bathroom, allowing Lily to finally use it. When she finished, they all talked about the game.

"Did you see Peter's face?" Sirius asked, sniggering. "Although you held on longer than James thought you would."

Peter scowled at James, but then his expression turned to horror. James had vanished, leaving a bit of parchment with "I'm bored again" written on it.