Well, thanks to the fact that I got some reviews for this, I've decided to post a second chapter. Don't expect the third chap to be up this quickly, though. I will update, but it may be a couple of weeks.

Disclaimer: Don't own it, blah, blah, blah . . . you know already.

AUTHOR NOTE: As I mentioned before, this has been edited to fit another story I am currently working on as well. Please give it a chance! Thanks!!

Chapter Two: Confusion

Narcissa's been sent to Hogsmeade as a spy. She was forced to take Polyjuice Potion. I feel horrible for her. The Dark Lord hasn't let her see Draco yet, as punishment for going behind his back to Severus. Why didn't he get punished, too? It angers me sometimes, the way we are treated. Despite everything I said when Narcissa and I had gone to see Severus, it was wrong for the Dark Lord to use Draco as punishment for Lucius. He is just a child and, despite the fact that Lucius deserves the deepest pit of Hell, that was no punishment. He doesn't even care for the boy.

Narcissa suffers for it all the time, and I watch. It hurts me to see how mistreated that boy has been through the years, and it makes me glad that I never gave my child to the Dark Lord. The pain that child would have been subjected to . . . I can't bear to imagine it. That may have been the only positive side to having a miscarriage, if there is any. I did become pregnant once, but Rodolphus committed a mistake on one of his assignments. As punishment, the Dark Lord killed my baby. I'm not sure anymore who he was punishing, because the unborn child's death didn't faze my late husband at all.

I try not to think about it anymore, but I can't help it, every time I see poor Draco. There's nothing I can do or say, though, if I don't want to find myself dead. The conflict in my mind rages constantly, but my mouth stays shut. To everyone around me, it's a black and white world, no gray areas accepted.

It was three in the morning when a chill in the room awoke me. I shot upright, wand at the ready. Looking around, I didn't see anything. This was stupid. It's been happening to me ever since Sirius died. I shook it off, turning when I heard Arcturus's door opening. He came inside my room. It looked as if he was searching for something.

What is it, Bellatrix? You were startled . . .

I'm fine. I was just jolted awake, that's all. You can go back to your room.

As you wish . . . I crawled back under the covers again. After a little while, I fell asleep again, my mind being plagued by images of my past. My recent past. Sirius asking for help, my blood being spilled for the Dementors . . .

When I woke up again, it was because someone was knocking on my door.

"Come in!" I got out of bed as the door opened. Greyback came in. "What do you want?"

"The Dark Lord requires our presence in the meeting room." His growling voice was annoying, but I didn't let it bother me. Not like he could help it.

"Ok, I'll be right out." I quickly dressed, calling Arcturus at the same time. I told him we were being called, and he agreed to come along. When I emerged in the hall, I saw that Greyback was accompanied by an unfamiliar man. He had mussed up hair, a menacing face, and ragged clothes. Werewolf, most likely. Not that many werewolves worried about being prim and proper, well, except for Remus Lupin. The man looked me up and down, practically devouring me with his eyes alone. "Control your dog, Greyback." The word dog was dripping with venom, and my glare at the man was enough to make anyone shrink back. He practically whimpered.

"Hurry up, we shouldn't keep him waiting!" That high pitched, weakling voice could only belong to one person. Pettigrew. He was down the hall, calling to us. If I thought the new werewolf was weird, I was totally unprepared for what stood a few feet before Pettigrew. A troll. Thank Merlin we have high ceilings.

Watching the look of horror pass their faces when they saw my companion, I moved ahead of them. It took the others about five seconds to realize Arcturus was with me and follow the both of us to the meeting hall. When we arrived, I saw that Lucius, too, had accomplished his assignment. Beside him stood a regal-looking man, very thin, pale, and gaunt. His jet black hair was sleeked back, and I could see the tips of his fangs resting on his bottom lip. I turned my gaze to Malfoy, checking his neck for any marks, but there were none. I knew my assignment involved more blood. The guy's a push over.

Another two trolls were also in the room, seated at the left, where Pettigrew, looking like a real mouse beside them, led the third one. The room had four doors. We were to send our charges to a different door. Once we were back inside the room with the Dark Lord, he addressed us.

"There has been talk of wavering loyalties." The tension in the room became palpable. "You all know that I will not tolerate betrayal of any kind." At that moment, he flicked his wand and Crabbe and Goyle apparated before us. "These two are accused of plotting against me." I couldn't believe it! They were the two stupidest Death Eaters in existence. A plot from them wouldn't be a threat at all. "I shall show you what happens to traitors. Avada Kedavra!" The hiss that was his voice frightened me beyond belief as he cast the spell. The two bodies fell with a thud. The he did something unexpected. "Bella, if you please, come here." Had he seen something in my mind?

I know I accused Pettigrew of being a coward, but I felt like dying on the spot. Had he discovered my insecurities?

"Yes my lord?" I bowed to him.

"Bella, take Crabbe and Goyle to the trolls." My stomach clenched. I knew what he meant to do. "The rest of you, follow behind her." Why me? I levitated their bodies and guided them to the room I had seen the trolls go into. I knew what was coming. These trolls were being served their dinner. When I entered the room, everyone hung back, waiting for me to place the bodies within the trolls' reach. I let out a deep breath and placed the bodies down with a low thud. All of us were rooted to the spot as the trolls gripped the bodies and ripped them apart. They fought over limbs, making a bloody mess of the room. I was a mess, too, since I was the only one close enough to be sprayed by the gushing fountains of crimson. That's two days in a row.

I watched the blood and meat dripping down the trolls' faces. It sickened me and I felt like gagging, but I bit back the reflex. I couldn't give any hint as to my feelings. If I faltered even slightly in my composure, I'll be the one being fed to the trolls.

Once the trolls had finished their dinner, the four of us turned around and left the room. I didn't dare wipe my face. Any wrong move and the Dark Lord might kill me.

"Now that you see what happens to traitors, I hope I can expect better from the four of you." We all responded in unison.

"Yes, my lord." We were all on our knees. I stared at the ground. My hair came down as a curtain for my face, covering the disgust I felt.

"You are dismissed. Bella, tell the Dementor that we will be going on a hunt soon, and will be in need of his services. Greyback, tell the Alpha as well."

"As you wish." We all turned, except for Pettigrew, who was to stay at the Dark Lord's side at all times, to our charges, getting them from their respective rooms and leaving. I stayed in silence, ignoring every Death Eater I passed. Their eyes widened when they saw what I was covered with. I ignored them. Even my own sister.

"Bella? What happened? Tell me!" Her voice was gentle, prodding lightly and carefully. Lucius was behind me, and began to explain as I continued to walk. Finally, Arcturus spoke.

What happened to you Bellatrix? Why are you so troubled?

It was nothing . . . you don't need to concern yourself with that.

You are drenched in blood, why?

Punishment.

This is your blood? Who did this to you!? Who dares touch you!? The vehemence he said this with startled me. A Dementor doesn't usually show much emotion, and Arcturus didn't, either. He continued to glide along, but I felt his anger in my mind.

Nobody touched me, Arcturus . . . I was forced to feed two human men to a pack of trolls. I fear the Dark Lord suspects that I am having conflicted thoughts. Perhaps he tried to communicate something to me? I don't know. I just have to be more careful . . . He was quiet after that, but his emotions kept running through my head. Why had he reacted so strongly? I was afraid to ask, to perhaps get him angry, so I didn't bring it up again.

I wasn't happy about working with Greyback. He's immature, blood-hungry, and doesn't even have the decency to use a wand. Not only that, but he's not easy to look at, at all. His werewolf buddies aren't in my good books either, especially the one I saw him with before. I don't appreciate being looked at the way he had earlier.

I went back to my suite, heading straight to the shower. The water scorched my skin, but I didn't change it. I watched the blood come off my body, wishing my sins would do the same. I don't know where that thought came from, or why I cared. Maybe Hell isn't that appealing to me anymore.

Once I was done with my bath, I headed back to the meeting room. I met Greyback there, and saw that he had two werewolves with him. Our small party went inside, and the Dark Lord turned to us.

"Ahh . . . Very good. Now, I want you two to go looking for Sirius Black." What? He's dead. I killed him myself. I saw him fall through the veil. He can't be alive. Why would we be sent to recover a dead person? We won't even find his body.

"My lord? If I may . . . didn't Bellatrix kill Black?" I was glad the Greyback was the one to voice it. I didn't feel like testing him today.

"Yes, it is true that Bella sent him through the veil at the Ministry, but it did not kill him. He was merely transported to another dimension. I need the two of you to look for him. Is that understood?"

"Yes my lord." Now, it was my turn to ask a question.

"If I may, where do we start looking?"

"The veil transports you to the worst places you have ever experienced. It is likely that he was sent to Azkaban. His body is there, but his spirit roams the prison, though, which is why I need you Bella. The Dementors will help find him. Greyback's men will keep him prisoner." Is it true? Is he really still around? But if his body and soul are separated, then how was I supposed to retrieve him? Did the Dark Lord expect me to take another ritual out of my repertoire? Perhaps he's suspicious of me, and wants to know the full extent of my abilities . . . "When you find him, retrieve him and bring him to me."

"Yes my lord." With that, I took the Arcturus's hand and we all Disapparated. Once again, I found myself staring at the landscape around Azkaban prison. The tree from before caught my eye, but I didn't pay attention to it. The last thing I needed was Greyback finding out my secrets.

We walked in silence, taking our time, since there was no need to be wary or quick. I kept my guard up, though, not trusting the werewolves. Greyback and I had never really gotten along. I don't like his manner. He's a filthy, flea-ridden dog. Last time I called him that, he almost killed me. It was worth it though, just to watch the look on his face. I didn't think any better of his friends, either.

If I ever had to choose a werewolf to associate with, it would probably be Remus Lupin. He's the only well-mannered, clean werewolf that I know. Cleanliness isn't much of a requirement when it came to Deatheaters, though.

By now, we were already at the prison gates, and I had already told Arcturus what we were doing. He agreed to have all the Dementors looking for Sirius. As I communicated his name to Arcturus, another thought flashed in my mind. Was this my chance at redemption for what I did? Was this the second opportunity? How would Sirius react to me? I was afraid of what would happen, but I couldn't allow the fear to become evident. The dogs would be able to smell it on me.

"All right. I already have all the Dementors looking for Black. You do whatever it is that werewolves do, and I'll go around with the Dementors." They nodded and shifted forms. I never heard of a werewolf that could voluntarily transform. I thought they could only change in the full moon. Looks like I need to be more careful around them now. They scouted ahead, knowing that, in their animal form, they weren't going to be affected by the Dementors.

With Arcturus leading the way, I entered the prison, not bothered by the chill of the building. I could hear the Dementors searching, gliding through halls, breathing in rasps. Suddenly, I felt a tug in my mind, as if something was calling to me. Arcturus felt it, too, because he began to glide away from me, in the direction that the pull was coming from. The two of us wound through the halls. I was glad that I had a guide this time, so that I could get lost. He didn't speak a word to me though, as we followed the sensation throughout the entire prison. Where was it coming from?

Suddenly, we stopped in front of my old cell. There were some Dementors crowded around the one beside it. Sirius. We made our way through the crowd, coming upon the werewolves, who were poised to attack and growling. They were snarling at Sirius. But this wasn't the Sirius I remembered. This man was shaking. The look of despair in his eyes made me aware of the damage the Dementors were causing. Before I even said anything, Arcturus made them stop. I realized them that we weren't being pulled in by the same force. The Dementors had called Arcturus, but someone else had called me. Sirius had called me, he had called for my help. I still felt him in my head, pleading with me. Greyback transformed back, and I told him to order the other wolves to do the same. Once they did, I asked them to leave the cell. When they were gone, I turned to my cousin.

"Sirius?" He was still trembling, but he looked up at me. I looked at his eyes, but they seemed empty. His soul must not have been present at the moment. The Dark Lord was right, his body and soul weren't together. Digging through my mind, I tried to remember a soul recovery spell from a long time ago, courtesy of Advanced History of Magic. This, too, required blood, since I was his family. In order to recover his soul, a family member's blood had to be spilled. Not as much as it had before, though. I pricked my index finger with the dagger from before. On the stone before his body, I drew an ancient rune. The ancient symbol for soul. I muttered a Japanese incantation, and pressed my palm against the rune.

I watched as Sirius' eyes glowed with the return of his soul. He sat staring at me for a while.

"Bella . . ." He regained a bit of his composure. "So, I guess everything I said still hasn't affected you . . ." He gave a dark chuckle. Standing, he leaned against the wall. I could tell his body was still very weak.

"It's none of your business what I do with my life." I healed the prick on my finger, and cleaned up the blood. I didn't need to explain the ritual to him. He had always known that I was capable of performing ancient rituals. It had been my secret hobby, until he discovered it when he was ten and I was eighteen. He had caught me trying out an incantation.

"You're my cousin, Bella, of course it's my business. I want to help you. I read what you left me in the tree. Seems you have a conflict going on . . ."

"Shut up." My voice immediately went into defensive mode. "You don't know what you're talking about." He laughed. No matter what I tried to do, he continued. I aimed my wand at his chest. "That's enough Sirius. I have to take you to the Dark Lord." I bound his body, muttering an apology he couldn't hear.

I levitated his body out of the prison cell and onto the island. I took hold of him and the Dementor and we apparated back to the stronghold. Greyback dismissed his werewolf cronies, I told Arcturus to wait for me in my room, and we headed to the Dark Lord. He was extremely pleased with us. I couldn't stand the look of happiness on his face. It was worse than when he's angry. His features contorted horribly, and I had to divert my gaze as I bowed.

"Very good . . . It's good to see you again, Black." Instinctively, my head jerked slightly. I realized that he was speaking to Sirius. I wonder if he even remembers I was once a Black, too. My cousin spit in his direction. I cringed at what was about to happen. "Come now Sirius . . . your brother was more than willing to join me, why don't you do the same?" His voice was almost gentle. This tone was scarier than his anger.

"And if I don't?" His tone was full of more defiance than I have ever heard.

"You'll face the same fate your brother did when he betrayed me." Sirius didn't respond. I was afraid of what would happen next, not afraid for him, but for me. I had the feeling that the Dark Lord somehow knew I was having doubts. Lately, everything seems to be directed at me. I was right to be afraid. "Bella, take Sirius with you. You are to keep him as prisoner. Use the Dementors." Damn it.

This was starting to get annoying. What was the Dark Lord trying to prove? That I would betray him? That I was loyal? Hadn't I already done enough? I spilled my own blood, I tried to kill my cousin, I spent years in Azkaban. All that, and for what? So that, at the slightest sign of faltering, I am forced to suffer. Haven't I suffered enough?

"Yes my lord." He kept Greyback as I left the room, Sirius levitating behind me. I didn't speak a word as we walked the halls. Thankfully, I didn't run into anyone that would question me. Sigh. I had a long way to go before the Dark Lord would trust me completely again.

I walked into my room, transfigured a chair into a decent sized cell, and placed my cousin inside. I fell flat on my bed afterwards.

"Bella . . ."

"Shut up." I was getting a headache.

"Just . . ."

"Stop talking." Why couldn't he just stop?

"But . . ."

"Leave me alone." Merlin, why was it always me?

"That's kind of difficult, you know, considering that I'm in a cage." Now he was getting smart with me. Why was he being so difficult? At that moment, Arcturus came in. I felt his surprise in my mind at seeing Sirius in a cage.

Why is he here?

The Dark Lord has ordered me to keep him. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the look of interest on Sirius' face. He must have wondered what I was doing, just staring at the Dementor.

What!? How dare he? Does he not know how this is affecting you?

I think that's the point. Somehow, without words, Arcturus knew what I felt, the doubts I had. I wouldn't put it past him to know me better than I knew myself. I had no idea how he knew that this affected me so badly, but he just did. I shook my head, trying to clear my thoughts.

"What are you doing?"

"Don't interrupt a conversation, Sirius, didn't your mom ever teach you that?"

"Conversation? You were speaking to it?"

"Him, I was speaking to him. His name is Arcturus."

"Arcturus?" Some kind of recognition passed in his eyes, but it was brief. He didn't even mention it. "Well, what did Arcturus say? You looked surprised."

"Nothing."

"Bella, do you really want to spend the rest of your life in service to Voldemort?" I couldn't answer him. "You should go to Harry, Bella! He'll help you."

"He thinks I killed you." My response surprised him. I suppose he expected me to just outright deny any possibility that I would ask for help. Instead, I made an excuse.

"But if you send me to him, it'll be ok."

"No. All right Sirius? The world isn't the way you see it. You're being idealistic and naive. Not everyone has the chance to be good. You, more than anyone, should understand why I do this. You know why I'm a Death Eater." He did. He was one of the few who knew the real reason.

"Then take Narcissa with you!" I couldn't do that. She loved Lucius, and she still had her son. What bound me to the Dark Lord the most was Narcissa and Draco. Seventeen years ago, I had a daughter. It's true, I did have a miscarriage, but I had one more pregnancy after that. Rodolphus never found out. I sent her to a muggle home. Ironic, I know, but it was all I could do. I'm glad I did so. I punished myself from seeing her all these years to avoid what my sister went through now.

"She's bound by something different than me, remember that." She had a child to care for, I didn't. He let out a deep breath, and stopped arguing.

"It doesn't matter now. As soon as Dumbledore finds out that I'm alive, he'll come for me." I hated to be the one to tell him, but I had to.

"Dumbledore is dead, Sirius. He died last year. We attacked Hogwarts." I hated the look on his face. He was distraught, his face showing immense agony, then anger.

"Who did it?" His voice was a growl, fiercer and more frightening than the Dark Lord could ever hope to be.

"You don't want to know . . ." He gave me the worst glare I've ever had to endure, and it was so much worse when it came from him. There was no way for me to avoid this. "Severus . . ." I readied myself for the fury that would come.

"WHAT!? Dumbledore trusted him! How could he?" Sirius was standing now, pacing the cell, his face red with anger.

"The Dark Lord originally gave Draco that assignment, as punishment for Lucius. He was put in Azkaban after what happened at the Ministry. Narcissa panicked, and went to Severus for help. They made the Unbreakable Vow. Severus killed Dumbledore because Draco couldn't bring himself to do it."

"I'LL KILL HIM! I swear I will! I hope he goes to the deepest pit of Hell."

"That spot is reserved for Lucius, but perhaps they can both fit." I don't know what made me say it. Whatever it was, I shut my mouth immediately, hoping Sirius didn't hear me.

"Did you just say what I think you did?" Damn it. "I affected you after all . . . or are those your motherly instincts?" He was trying to anger me. The news about Dumbledore had him angry, and he would have his vengeance against me for now.

"If you must know, that's exactly what it is."

"You have motherly instincts?" He was still provoking me.

"Shut up, or you'll taste the receiving end of my wand."

"Been there, done that." Fine, he wanted to be an idiot? Then so be it.

"How's about the Dementor's Kiss then, cousin? Would you prefer that?" The look on his face was priceless. I couldn't help threatening him with it. It was a low blow, I know, but he did the same to me. An eye for an eye. "I didn't think so. You escaped from it once, but I doubt you'll be able to do it again." I crossed my arms in front of me, glaring at him with as much venom as I could muster. I smirked. "What's the matter cousin? Afraid?" He glared at me with more hate than ever. It hurt inside, to see that one of the few family I had left hated me so much, but I bit back the feeling. This shouldn't be happening to me, I can't be growing soft. Not now. I couldn't help it, though. I ended up apologizing. "Sorry, Sirius . . ." This shook him off the glare, but he was speechless. I went to the bathroom to get ready for bed. When I went back into my room, he was still looking at me.

I crawled into my bed, eager for rest. All this stress was really getting to me, and I couldn't stand it.

The drowsiness was getting to me, but Sirius chose that moment to speak.

"You are getting soft, Bella . . ." I ignored him, like I had all those years in Azkaban. His tone wasn't mocking me, though, it was surprised. He was genuinely surprised at what I had said.

Bellatrix . . . this man is your cousin, is he not? He is your family. Why have you captured him this way?

I already told you. They were my orders . . .

But he is family, Bellatrix. Remember that. He has not given up on you, apparently. From what I can see, he still cares for you.

Arcturus, please . . . Sirius tried for sixteen years to convince me. I'd rather not hear anymore tonight. I need to rest. He wished me goodnight and I felt him leave the room. Since when did Dementors think like that? All my life, I believed them to be wraiths, monsters. I was wrong.

At this point, I'm more confused than ever before. I don't know which path to take. Am I Bellatrix Lestrange the Deatheater . . . or am I Bella Black?

I'm not even sure anymore . . .

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