A/N: Still writing. Yippee. Reminder: Vote on my poll for what the pairing should be! Enjoy. Review!
"Go where?" asked Remus.
"No," said Hermione, catching on. "We're at Go. See? There's the arrow over there…and these red tiles here spell out the word…Go."
"Go?"
"From Monopoly?" asked Harry.
"Yep," said Luna.
"I must be dreaming," said Ron.
"I would say that, but I've never heard of Monogamy," said Sirius.
"Monopoly, not Monogamy," said Remus. "Not that you've heard of either."
Snape snickered.
Dumbledore cleared his throat. "A suggestion? When I find myself in a situation in which I am not certain of the state of my consciousness, the solution I employ is to try to elicit light pain…"
Ron looked at him dumbly.
"Pinch yourself, Ron," said Hermione. "Or I'll do it for you." She pinched him and he squealed.
Everyone pinched themselves except Voldemort, who was still on the ground, looking around shiftily, and Snape, who was rubbing his knuckles.
"I hurt," said Hermione, Harry, Draco, Remus, Sirius, and Dumbledore. Everyone looked expectantly at Snape.
"I did not need to pinch myself. The dark lord's skull was thick enough to produce some pain…and bruising. Besides, I've never heard of Monopoly. I couldn't be dreaming this."
"Ah, Severus, the imagination is a fantastic place," said Dumbledore. He turned to Luna. "And what about you, Luna?"
"Oh, I'm quite numb," she said. "I suppose this is the effect of my dream enhancer. Last night it was Quidditch…I suppose you're all real?"
"Yes, we're bloody real," said Draco. "What did you do to us?"
"Do mind your language, Draco. Harry, do you remember having a dream last night? About Quidditch?"
"Er…yeah. I have Quidditch dreams a lot, but that one was really vivid."
"And Draco? Did you have one too?"
Draco blushed a little. "Well, it was just me and Potter trying to get the snitch. It wasn't really Quidditch."
"That's what mine was—and I did a feint and you nearly—"
"I pulled up in time. You almost crashed into the stands when I—"
"I got distracted by someone in the crowd…well, now that I think about it—"
"Luna was there watching us. She was the only one there, I think."
"I think you're right. I still got the snitch, though. And then…I guess I woke up?"
"I did too."
They paused for a moment before rounding on Luna.
"That was your dream?" they asked in unison.
"Yep," she said.
Before anyone could react, Voldemort launched himself at Luna, grabbed her by the neck, and began to squeeze.
"This is your fault, little girl? Then you will be the first to die!"
Luna flinched slightly, but stood still. Out of nowhere, Hermione appeared behind Voldemort and slammed him over the head with a giant textbook. Voldemort let go of Luna and rounded on Hermione. She swatted at him again with the textbook as he went for her throat instead. By that time, the others had had a chance to react. Sirius bounded over and tackled Voldemort to the ground, effectively flattening him.
Remus stooped down to Voldemort's face. "There are more of us than there are of you. Don't try anything."
"Get off me, Black," hissed Voldemort.
"No," said Sirius, letting more weight fall onto Voldemort's ribcage.
"Severus! My loyal—"
"Do I look like 'your loyal?'" asked Snape, bending his bruising knuckles experimentally. "I would advise you, my lord, to shut up."
"Well, pip pip," said Dumbledore, startling everyone.
"Yes?" asked Snape, irritated.
"Would I be correct in assuming that we have to play out the game to get home?" asked Dumbledore.
"I believe so," said Luna, batting her eyes a little. "I think it's rather nice right here, myself."
Snape growled and looked like he was going to tear into Luna. Seeing Snape, Remus jumped into the conversation.
"Luna, love, your imagination is a beautiful place, but I believe people might worry if we don't wake up."
"That makes sense," said Luna. "Shall we start then? Do you all have your pieces? I have mine." She looked down and wiggled her feet. One foot was clad in a dull silver shoe with no laces.
"I want the horse," said Draco immediately. Just then, a silver stallion trotted up from behind him and nuzzled him with its big silver nose. Draco patted it, his eyebrows showing that there were things that were too good to be true for Draco.
Each of them looked around themselves, spotting silver objects. Snape swapped out his fedora for a silver top hat. Harry's car drove up on its own, and Harry got in it and juvenilely tested the horn. Remus reached into his pocket, and pulled out a silver thimble. A long deep horn startled all of them out of their searching, and they looked—
On two of the four sides of their giant GO square was ocean. None of them could see shore, but they did see a silver ship approach.
"There's my ship!" said Ron. He ran to meet it as it pulled up to a dock none of them had noticed.
Hermione found a wheelbarrow, and she put the textbook she'd brought into the dream on it. Harry wondered how she'd managed to bring a text book with her. Had she fallen asleep with it?
Dumbledore found an iron in his hand, and a cannon rolled up behind Voldemort, who was still being flattened by Sirius. Sirius looked around.
"Is that for me?"
"That's mine," grunted Voldemort.
"Does he have to play?" whined Ron.
"I don't really want him in my imagination forever," said Luna.
"Well, then where's my piece?" asked Sirius.
"I would have thought you would be the dog," contemplated Hermione. "Oh! Maybe if you transform?"
Sirius eyed Voldemort for a moment before getting up.
"Alright, here…" He transformed. Instead of a big shaggy black dog, he'd shrunk into a little silver terrier. He wagged his little tail and yapped happily before snapping playfully at Snape's ankles. Snape aimed a good kick at him and missed. Sirius ran back and leapt into Remus's arms. Remus rolled his eyes and scratched Sirius's twitchy ears as Sirius tried to lick Remus's face. Suddenly, Sirius turned back into a person, and the two men fell in a tangled heap to the ground laughing.
"Alright, where's our money?" asked Draco.
"Check your pockets?" suggested Ron, still chuckling. They all dug into their pockets, and their hands came out empty.
"Maybe we need bankers?" suggested Hermione.
No sooner had the words left her mouth than there was a resounding crack from an uninhabited corner of GO. They turned to see Lucius Malfoy in an elegant thirties pinstripe suit looking quite harassed.
"Father?"
"Draco?"
"What are you doing here?"
"What am I always doing, Draco? Philanthropy. I have this odd feeling that I'm supposed to give you money."
"I believe you are our banker," said Dumbledore.
Lucius looked down at his outfit. "Is this a dream?"
"More or less," said Draco. "We have to play to get out, only I think you're the banker."
Lucius scoffed. "Capital. Well, step up, riffraff. I'm a busy man. I have a meeting with the Minister first thing in the morning."
They lined up, and Lucius handed them each a stack of bills summing up to $1500. Though it looked like Draco was trying to get an extra hundred out of him, Lucius was unable to cheat.
"I have a feeling I'll appear if you need me," said Lucius. "Ta-ta for now. Good luck, Draco." He disappeared with a crack.
"Now what," asked Ron.
"Well," said Hermione, "we roll the dice, and whoever has the highest number goes first. Does anyone know where the dice are?"
They heard another crack, and none other than Cornelius Fudge appeared in a top hat and tuxedo and a curved cane. His walrus mustache wiggled as he spoke.
"Welcome to Monopoly!" he told them.
"Fudge?" asked Sirius.
"You're the Minister of Magic." said Luna matter-of-factly.
"My name is Mr. Monopoly! I'm here to wish you good luck and send you on your way! I have a set of dice for each of you. When it's your turn, they'll roll and you will move the number of properties that you roll. If you have any questions about the rules, I'll be here in a flash!"
"Oh, good lord. We've kidnapped the Minister of Magic," groaned Hermione.
"And brainwashed him," smirked Snape.
"At least Lucy won't be late for his appointment," said Sirius.
"It is likely that if he or I are missed, our colleagues will try to find us. If and when they do, they will likely believe we have been put into a magical coma. To avoid undue panic, I would suggest that we try to finish this game quickly," said Dumbledore.
"Good, good. Now here are your dice." Fudge scurried around and handed each player a pair of white dice with black dots. "Good luck, all of you!" he cheered, and disappeared with a popping noise.
"Alright. We roll, now?" asked Remus. Hermione nodded.
They each rolled their pair of dice on the tiles. "What happens if we get the same number?" asked Remus.
"Keep rolling until they're all different, I suppose," said Hermione.
Ron rolled double sixes, so his turn was first.
"You go first, Ron," said Hermione. "You have to roll your dice again."
Ron climbed onto his ship.
"Are you sure, Hermione?"
"Yes, Ron."
He made a face and tossed his dice. The other players heard them clatter on the deck of the ship, and Ron stooped out of view.
"It's an eight!" he called. "Now what?"
No one had to answer, because, at that moment, the ship gave an almighty lurch away from the dock. It turned, and they heard Ron shout "Argh!" before it began steaming off down the coastline to their right. The ship soon faded into a puff of black steam, and then it was gone.
"Right, well, who's next?"
They heard a clatter of dice on tile, and looked to see Dumbledore's dice twitching to a stop. One was a one, and one was a six.
"Well, off I go!" Dumbledore grabbed on tight to his iron as it pulled him into the air. Harry could have sworn he heard him say, "I love a good adventure," as he disappeared into the blue sky.
Voldemort had rolled a nine, so he was next.
"Get on your cannon, Voldemort," instructed Hermione, resigned.
"Mudblood," he spat before climbing to a seated position on the gun. He rolled his dice. They added to three. As soon as Voldemort saw the one and the two, the cannon lurched forward and began rolling its way across the tiles of GO towards a road that started in the corner and split left and right. The left road, Harry knew, went towards Mediterranean Avenue, and the right went towards the Boardwalk. Voldemort hissed unintelligibly as he went over a bump, and he disappeared behind a hill.
"Well shot of him," said Sirius.
"Ugh, what happens if we end up on the same property as him?" asked Harry.
Remus bit his lower lip. "I was wondering about that. I thought Dumbledore would have an idea. My advice would be…try not to let him see you."
"What if we have to pay him rent? Or what if he has to pay us rent?"
"Bloody complicated Muggle game," muttered Sirius.
"Be careful. Remember, he can hurt everyone but Luna. If you're worried, try to call up Fudge—I mean, Mr. Monopoly," instructed Remus.
Harry's dice twitched in his hand, and he let them fall to the ground. His turn was next. He had a two and a three. Five. He breathed a sigh of relief. He hadn't landed on Voldemort's square.
He climbed into his car, and it started rolling silently away from the group.
"Good luck!" called Luna.
"Thanks, Luna. You too," he said as his car began to accelerate across the tiles and towards the road.
Once he hit the road, the car took the left fork which, Harry suspected, continued all the way around the board clockwise. He drove for a few minutes. On his right was relatively empty wasteland where the middle of the board should be. He saw litter along the roadway, and the occasional broken fence. To the left of the car was remarkably similar, but Harry knew that the land was the Mediterranean Avenue property. There were no birds, nor animals of any kind. There were no trees, though Harry thought he spotted a few upended oil barrels. On the far left of Harry, on the other side of the property, was ocean, where the edge of the board should be. As he continued, he approached a large purple sign with the name of the property on it, and then passed it. Soon there was a fence that marked the edge of the Mediterranean Avenue property.
Then, in the distance, he saw a rather large building. He wondered what it could possibly be, but then remembered that Community Chest was the next square on the board. Then, what is the building, he wondered. A civic center? Government building? He knew he'd find out eventually. He got a good look at the building as he passed, and then he was back into wasteland. There wasn't quite the concentration of garbage and pollution as the first property, but Baltic Avenue was not exactly where Harry would like to build a summer home. He approached the purple sign and had to squint to see—
"SOLD," said the sign. Then Harry remembered, Voldemort must have bought it. He shuddered, and was glad to see that he was approaching the fence.
There was another building in the distance, and Harry couldn't remember what the next square was supposed to be. He squinted as he approached. A post office? He couldn't tell, and soon, he was past it.
He knew he was approaching his square, and he could see another building. Outside the building, there was the telltale water tank to feed an old fashioned steam engine. Harry pulled up, and there was a little parking spot. His car spluttered to a stop, and Harry got out.
"Er, don't leave without me," he told it. He turned to the train station building. He climbed a set of wide marble steps, and made his way up to the wide arch that made up a door.
He heard a thud behind him and looked to see the silver car revving its way up the stairs.
"If you insist," said Harry.
He walked into the station and looked around himself. It was an average train station. It wasn't grand like King's Cross, but it contrasted with the wasteland he'd already passed. A train was waiting at the platform, steam puffing out of its smokestack. Harry could make out a smudged, red-haired engineer waving out of the front to someone on the water tank outside.
"Good afternoon, sir!" a perky voice attacked Harry. He turned around and got an eyeful of curly blond hair and horn-rimmed glasses. "You are aware that this property is for sale? See, there, the trains have all been replaced. They should last for years. And the piping's all been redone by the Water Works company, and we get a special rate from Electric Company." She dragged him over to the ticket counter. "This is real marble, here, sir. I must say, fabulous quality."
"Really? Marble? I would have taken it for granite," muttered Harry.
The woman continued, as if she hadn't heard Harry's comment. "Now, it's a buyer's economy. I believe bank's selling the whole station for $200. What do you say, Sir?"
"Hello Rita," sighed Harry.
A/N: Yay. Chapter 2. I should have chapter 3 up by tomorrow, again. Review, please! And take the poll on my profile. I've added new options by popular demand. Thanks!
-Moonlight