A/N: Yep, I'm back. Sorry for the delay in this chapter-- real life has this annoying habit of getting in the way. Hopefully, due to the arrival of summer, I'll be able to update more frequently.

Many thanks to my wonderful reviewers from the last chapter. I couldn't believe the response I got to this. You guys are awesome! They are: hyper.much911, AuthorGirl258, lightningbent101, Set.Me.Free.123, BlueAqua, EmoNinja14, CrimsonScarz, XIrishXDreamerX, Mew-Sahara, fireandice226, BeautifulInsanity13, x-kuroi-ame-x, x Step On Me x, loria, AirGirl Phantom, Silidons, angelz on edge, FangsGurl, my brother's name is not carl, pure-awesomeness, pictureperfexi0n, maximum-calories, Cherry47, Ella Cinders, weridness, Exclamation marks are cool!..., paper-mate2, like i'm really gonna tell..., DigiNinMon, thenewmastercreater, Pyromaniac-Girl, Fangs-Girl, violetpurple14, and .Dr1v3n t0 1n5aN1Ty. You guys make my day!

About this chapter: The first part's not funny at all, but I wanted to put it in anyway. Actually, most of this chapter isn't too funny, so please bear with me. It will get more humorous in the next chapter, I swear. Also, to avoid confusion, when it's in Max's POV and she says Iggy, she's referring to Iggy's soul, in her body, who everyone else thinks is Max. Likewise, when Iggy refers to Max, he's talking about who everyone thinks is Iggy. Sorry, I know it can be kind of confusing.

Anyway, without further ado, here's chapter two! (Ha! Rhymingness!)

Disclaimer: I wish.

Chapter Two: How About Takeout?

"What happened?"

The voice was deadly; there was no mistaking it. Low and fierce, it alone was enough to send shivers down the spine of the man at which it was directed.

"You were supposed to keep her safe. To keep her from straying from the path she is to take."

"I don't know—" the man began.

"Don't tell me you don't know!" the Director snapped. "You were supposed to be watching her at all times. What happened?"

Unable to meet the Director's blazing eyes, the man looked down at the floor and ran a hand through his light brown hair. The rings under his hazel eyes told of many sleepless nights.

"Dammit, Batchelder, it was a simple task! Get Max to save the world!" The Director leaned forward, close enough that a blond strand brushed against the older man's nose. Her voice lowered to a deadly whisper. "Now how, exactly, is she going to do that if she's in the blind boy's body?"

Once again, the man found himself rendered speechless.

"You're in her head," she continued. "You know her thoughts; you talk to her. How did you let this happen?"

"I couldn't stop it; it just happened—"

"Look, I don't care. Just figure out how to reverse it. I don't care how you do it, what you have to do—I just want it done. And soon. Is that understood?"

He managed a nod.

"You are dismissed," she said coldly. "And I don't want you in my sight until Max is back again."

Jeb Batchelder stood up and scurried out of the room as fast as his legs would take him.

Max

My head spun as I heard Iggy's footsteps retreat. My suspicions had been confirmed—I was now Iggy; he was now me. Oh, yes, this was just great. How could we explain this to the flock?

We couldn't have two different stories. Which meant that we needed to figure out what to do together. Right now. I sighed. Feeling my way against the wall and trying to avoid running into anything again, I poked my head around the corner. "Iggy!" I hissed.

His quiet footsteps stopped for an instant before resuming more loudly—heading my way, I presumed. "What?" he said. I could tell that he was still smirking.

"Look," I said as calmly as I could, "we need to talk. What are we going to tell everyone else?"

Iggy seemed surprised. "Tell them?" he said. "We're not going to tell them anything. They'll think we're insane."

I raised my eyebrows. "Iggy," I said exasperatedly, "we're mutant bird freaks. We're on the run. I have a freaking voice in my head. I think they already know that we're insane." He started to protest, but I continued. "Besides, you might recall that we have a mind reader with us. Won't she notice?"

"Just trust me, Max. It won't be good."

"But why—"

He sighed. "Max, really. Think. The flock is already stressed about everything—being on the run, staying hidden, taking precautions for Erasers, everything that we have to deal with. If we tell them that we're… switched, they'll freak. They'll be worried about us and how we're going to get back— or if we ever get back. They don't need that on top of everything else." Iggy paused. "Well, we don't need that on top of everything else, but I guess we're stuck with it. But that doesn't mean that we have to make it worse for the rest of them. I'd thought that you would have seen that."

He did have a point. I didn't want the flock any more stressed than they already were. I wondered why I hadn't seen it before.

"Not to mention that Fang will never let me forget it if he finds out that I was in your body."

I chuckled—the real reason was out at last. But what Iggy had said was true, even if he didn't really mean it. We could handle this; there was no reason to get the flock worked up about something we could fix. Right?

At last, I relented. "All right, we won't tell them. Which means that…" I trailed off, realizing what we had to do. "…That I'll have to act like you. And you'll have to act like me."

Oh, jeez. Could Iggy handle being me? He would have to deal with being leader, with saving the world, with the Voice, with everything I had to put up with. Could he do it?

I paused. On the other hand, this meant that I got a break. No Voice, no saving the world, no pressure of taking care of everyone. Zip, zero, zilch. All I had to do was act like Iggy. I could do that. I mean, it couldn't be that hard.

Fang's voice rose from downstairs. "Hey, Iggy, we're getting hungry. Can you come start dinner?"

Oh, crap.

Iggy

My eyes widened in horror. Max, cooking? God save us. I couldn't do that to the flock. You know, I did want to live another day.

I stared at Max's panic-stricken face. Clearly, she was just as excited about this as I was. You know, I love Max, Max is a great leader, but she can't cook worth crap. So how were we going to pull this off?

"Um, Iggy?" Fang called again.

I grimaced. "Just go," I whispered. "I'll help, okay?"

Max nodded reluctantly. "I'll be down in a second," she called. Suddenly, she shifted uncomfortably. "Um…" she said nervously. "The stairs…"

Oh, right. Being blind was no piece of pie, and Max was far from used to it. Which meant that I would have to help her with everything. God, this was going to look weird…

I sighed. "Fine," I muttered. Wrapping one arm firmly around her waist and holding her shoulder with the other, we began to move slowly and awkwardly down the stairs.

And guess who was waiting for us at the bottom?

Fang's eyes widened in surprise and confusion before I saw a flash of anger cross his normally expressionless face. And—was that a hint of jealousy?

Somebody gag me. Please.

Fang's eyes flickered from my face to my arms around Max and back again. His mouth opened slightly, but no sound came out. He probably had no idea what was going on—he didn't know that who he thought was Max was really me… and the only reason I appeared to be holding Iggy by the waist is so that Max could get used to being blind. He was mostly likely jumping to all sorts of strange conclusions.

Oh, God. He didn't think that Max… liked me, did he?

Okay, that would just be weird.

Fang was still staring at me. Really, that boy had one strange mind.

I sighed. "M-Iggy is still kind of weak from the explosion. He got hit harder than I did." There. That made sense, right?

It was right then that I realized that we had been at the bottom of the stairs for three minutes and I was still holding Max's waist. Crap. There goes that argument.

I dropped my arm as though burned, my face flushing slightly. "Er… I…" I trailed off, realizing that I was just making things worse. I turned and strode into the tiny kitchen and, without thinking, began to assemble the ingredients for my favorite pasta.

"Um… Max?"

It took a moment for me to realize that Fang was talking to me. "What?"

"You're… um… cooking."

What was his point? "So?"

Fang looked as though on the edge of laughter. "Well, you know, I do value my life…"

Oh. Right. I was Max. Max didn't cook. What was I thinking?

My cheeks grew hot as my mind raced furiously. I had to explain this somehow—and out of my mouth came the first thing I thought of.

"Iggy's been teaching me."

I winced as soon as the words had left my lips. If Fang didn't already think that Max and I liked each other, he would definitely be at least suspicious by now. Curse my stupid mouth!

"Er… I mean…"

Fang just appeared confused. "When were you spending enough time with Iggy for him to teach you?" He smirked. "That's not an easy task."

I glared at him. "You'll see," I said. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Max get up nervously. "Just stay there, Iggy," I called. "I'm going to show Fang my new cooking skills!"

Fang paled visibly, and shouts of "What? Cooking? Max is cooking?" came from upstairs. Nudge, Gazzy, and Angel raced down, eager to see what was going on. I grinned. This was going to be fun.

But no sooner than I had retrieved the olive oil from the top shelf of the pantry, my head exploded.

I fell to my knees, clutching my head. Distantly I felt Fang's sturdy arms surround me and heard his voice whispering, "Max, Max. It's okay. Stay with me." I didn't even have enough strength to gag.

After what could have been a few minutes or a few hours, the pain finally ceased. I managed to stumble into the bathroom and promptly vomited into the toilet. I wiped my mouth in disgust.

Oh, man. Is this what Max felt like when she had all those brain attacks? Does that mean—

Hello, Iggy.

The Voice? Max's Voice? Um, hello?

The Voice chuckled, sending another shockwave of pain through my brain. Yes, Iggy, I'm Max's Voice. Well, your Voice, now. Until you switch back.

Right. And how, exactly, do you suggest that I do that?

Iggy, if I knew, you'd already be back.

Oh. Well, thanks. We all knew just how helpful Max's Voice was when we really needed it to be.

"The Voice again?" Fang asked sympathetically. I nodded, still creeped out by the way he was looking at me. Did Max seriously not notice that the guy was completely in love with her? Good God, she was oblivious.

Iggy, you need to be careful. Fang will start to think that Max doesn't like him, that maybe she likes you instead. That could prove disastrous.

Disastrous? Okay, that seemed a little over the top, but whatever. I supposed it would interfere with saving the world and all.

Let me put it this way: If Fang starts to think too much that Max doesn't like him, he could very likely become depressed and leave. If he leaves, Max will fall apart—and therefore, the world is left to burn. Got it? Good.

I chuckled. Well, aren't we turning into quite the soap opera here?

Apparently, the Voice didn't find nearly as much amusement in that as I did. This is serious, Iggy.

I rolled my eyes. It sounded so self-righteous and pompous—I could easily understand why Max got so annoyed with it. Yeah, soap opera serious. 'I'm sorry, Janet! I never meant to cheat on you! Please don't leave me!'

The Voice didn't respond. Good riddance.

"You can show me your cooking skills another time," Fang said gently. "Iggy, you want to take over?"

Oh, no, oh, no, oh, no. I was not going to have Max cook.

"Um," I said abruptly, startling Fang, "how does takeout sound?"

Fang looked at me in confusion, but Max gave me a grateful smile. "Takeout sounds great," she said appreciatively.

"Yeah, takeout!" cried Gazzy. "I want Chinese!"

"I want McDonald's!"

"I want pizza!"

"Alright, guys," Max said, stepping in gracefully. "We'll get whatever we can find, okay?" I grinned at her.

I tried to smile at Fang, but no doubt it looked more like a grimace. He was still looking from me to Max and back again, wide-eyed in astonishment.

Heh. Oops.

So, there you have it. It might take me a bit to get the next chapter out. I'm going to make them long, because it can only be five chapters. However, I'll really try to post it as soon as I can. As always, I would love it if you could tell me what you thought of it. Also, check out my other new MR story. It's a parody of The Angel Experiment, and I think it's a laugh. Thanks for reading!

TheSmartypants