Chapter 1 - No Matter What
Allison yawned and turned in her bed as she slowly arose from her deep night's sleep. She blinked back the sleep in her eyes and reluctantly pushed the covers off herself.
She stayed still in her bed uncovered, despite the fact that her body had started to get colder. Of all the mornings, Mondays were always the worst times to wake up. Her mother, who suffered from chronic depression, would always take her medicine on the Sunday night of every week. The day that followed, you would hear nothing from her, just silence in her bedroom. When you went in there, you couldn't even hear her breath, you'd just watch her still, sleeping body.
In fact she looked so dead, that one day, when Allison was small she went into her mother's room and tried to wake her up. The lights were out and the curtains were closed. The whole room smelt damp, and though her mother spent most of her time in it, it smelt and looked like a room that no one had ever lived in.
Scared and shaking, little Allison went up to her mother's side of the bed. She called her mother's name time and time again, first softly then louder and louder until she was in hysterics. She pushed her mother's arm, tried to pull her out of bed and even turned on all the lights, hoping that her mother would wake.
But to Allison's dismay, nothing happened, her mother stayed still, un-awake. She then started crying, sobbing and weeping; she sat in the corner of her mother's room and waited. She waited and waited until her mother would wake up. She promised herself never to leave that room until her mother opened her eyes.
And then the next morning, she finally did. Allison watched as her mother slowly opened her eyes. They were red, blotchy and she looked terribly sick, but at least she was alive. The moment her mother moved in her bed, Allison beamed, her face lit up and all the tears seemed to dry.
"Mum!" Allison called out to her mother.
But her mother just looked at her with cold, dead eyes, like she didn't even see or hear, or recognise her daughter.
"You're alive." Allison tried again, her face beaming and her bright green eyes wide with relief.
Her mother didn't respond, she just looked at her daughter with the same blank look and turned in her bed to face the other way.
At that moment everything changed. Allison's hopes were crushed and the love that she once had for her mother dispersed into nothing. She became angry and furious that her mother didn't even bother to reply or to talk back.
"I hate you!" She screamed at her mother, the tears of frustration rolling down her face.
Her mother lay there unmoved; she stayed still lost in her own spiralling world of depression. Allison was so hurt and so crushed by that moment in her childhood that ever since that day she had never gone into her mother's room again.
Allison sighed sadly at remembering that moment. She suddenly sat up in her bed, sick and tired of listening to the silence, she needed her brother. She walked over to his bed across the room from hers and then sat on his stomach.
He coughed and spluttered as he woke up. He gasped for air, as his arms suddenly waved frantically in the air, hitting Allison in the face. She sat for a while dodging his arms before she finally took mercy on him and stood up. She watched as her brother sat up in his bed rubbing his eyes furiously.
"Seriously Allison?" He snapped at her, his eyebrow raised.
"What about 'good morning'?" Allison asked him sarcastically, she moved to sit beside him on the bed.
"When wakes you up like that, they don't deserve a very good morning." Andrew retorted back at her. He got up and walked over to the closet looking for his school clothes.
"It's Monday." Allison reminded him softly.
Andrew paused for a second, his school pants in hand; he looked at his sister regrettably but then suddenly smiled.
"Glad to know you're finally learning the days of the week." He said in a joking tone
That was Andrew for you, when faced with a difficult or sad situation he'd throw a joke at it.
"Andrew, you know what I mean." Allison continued, frowning at her brother's attempt at a joke.
"Yeah Allie I do know what you mean. But what's the point in thinking about it when it just upsets you?" He asked her, shaking his head disapprovingly.
"So just drop the conversation and get changed before the whole morning is ruined." Andrew nagged at her; he threw her, her skirt and school blouse.
"Stop nagging me, like you're my mother." Allison snapped at him angrily, grabbing her clothes as they flew in the air towards her.
"I am your mother." Andrew said sarcastically, as he took off his pyjama shirt.
"I don't have a mother." Allison said slowly and severely, her first balled up in anger as she stood up and stomped all the way across the room. She reached the bathroom and then slammed the door so hard that the walls shook.
Allison stepped into the bathroom and sighed, her voice echoed through the tile walls. She looked at herself in the mirror and blinked back tears. She hated crying. She cleared her throat, and began to wash her face. She brushed her teeth and then combed her long, blonde wavy hair and pinned her fringe out of her face.
She looked down at the sink and spotted the little, pink butterfly clip that her father had given her as a birthday present a month before he left for the war. Just like many of the fathers and husbands that had gone along with him. Looking at it, only reminded Allison of how desperately she wanted her dad to be back home. She knew that despite the situations now, he could somehow fix them. He'd put a smile on her mother's face again and make their house feel like a home again.
Suddenly remembering her brother's advice to stop thinking about things that upset her, she pushed the thoughts out of her mind and concentrated instead on getting changed.
She put on her white, school blouse, maroon coloured skirt, grey socks and yellow and red stripped tie. She threw on her blazer and for a moment caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror. She hadn't realised that she had been crying that whole time.
"Stop crying." She told herself sternly, pointing a finger at her reflection.
She sniffed as she wiped her cheeks. She splashed some water on her face and blinked back the rest of the tears.
"Allison, hurry up! What are you doing in there? Baking bread?" Her brother yelled from the other side of the door.
"No!" She yelled back at him.
She burst through the door and walked swiftly out of the bathroom, her head down and her eyes un-meeting her brother's. She hated crying and she hated other people see her cry. Suddenly she bumped into her own brother's naked chest.
They both grumbled at each other and shot each other spiteful looks.
"Can you put a shirt on before you poke someone's eye out please?" Allison shot at him as she rubbed her face, exaggerating the pain.
"Can you take that stick out of your ass before someone decides to punch you in the face?" Andrew retorted back at Allison.
"Yeah, you're real funny." Allison said sarcastically, as she gave her brother a hurt look.
She turned around and gulped, hoping that her brother hadn't seen her red, blotchy eyes. But alas, she was too late.
There was a moment's silence as she could almost feel her brother's eyes boring into her back. He hadn't made a move, hadn't gone into the bathroom, just stood there, watching his sister and thinking of something to say.
"Speaking of funny..." Andrew started, taking a step towards her.
"... Remember that time when we were little, and we sat out in the garden with some matches and a newspaper? And we said we would try and start a fire, just to get mother out of the house?"
Allison turned around slowly, and looked at him funnily.
"Yeah." She replied slowly and cautiously.
"And remember as we were sitting there, and you looked at me with this sad expression, and you asked me if mother would actually come out to get us? Do you remember what I said?" He asked her.
"No, I don't remember." Allison said as she sighed impatiently.
"I said, even if she didn't come out, even if she wasn't going to be there for us, at least we'd be together, and at least we wouldn't be alone. Because I said, that's what happens when you're twins, it's your duty to always stick by your other twin-"
"No matter what." Allison finished for him.
"So you do remember!" He said, beaming as he finally put on his school tie.
Allison smiled at her brother with appreciative eyes.
"Thanks." She mouthed silently at her brother.
"You were smarter back then, than you are now." She teased, hoping to lighten the mood.
He smiled at her, shifted his clothes in his hands and walked to her to give her a kiss on the cheek.
"Love you sis." He said, before running off towards the bathroom.
"Same." Allison cried after him as she turned to grab her maroon blazer.
Allison realized that at that moment, she had her brother, and for now, that was enough.
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