Owners Guide to Jeb Batchelder
A Manual
Congratulations!- You are now the proud owner of the scientist everyone loves to hate, Jeb Batchelder!
What Have I Ordered?-
To put it simply, you have ordered the evil, lying scientist and former mentor of Max Ride. He comes complete with:
-White labcoat
-Ari standup
-Wire framed spectacles
-Bottle of Aftershave
-Websters Dictionary 2007 edition
-Tylenol (see Added Info)
Notes: No refunds, returns (unless otherwise stated) or sastisfaction guarantees. Use at your own risk.
How to Assemble-
Jeb comes in a white, metal, sciency box. Simply push the button on the side and the box will unfold itself.
After Assembling-
Show Jeb around and introduce him to any other family members. There is no need to give Jeb a room. He will find one for himself.
Added Info-
Jeb will often stay up late into the night on sciency websites. Don't be alarmed; just let him have his morning coffee and he will be fine. Jeb will often try to have long, complicated conversations with you or other family members. This is where Tylenol and Dictionary comes in handy. Also, if Jeb starts staring at Max, this is normal. Max will just tell him off or Ari might grab his attention.
Likes To Do-
Jeb likes anything to do with science. He will probably order subscriptions to science magazines, and will often drive off to nearby science conventions. He also likes his morning coffee and uses copious amounts of aftershave.
Not To Give-
Don't give Jeb any of those "At Home Science" kits or any science equipment. He will try and conduct stem cell research and gene splicing in you basement. To solve this problem, burn any science kits in the nearby area and bury the ashes.
How To Maintain-
Jeb will keep to himself. If he gets near Max, a long conversation will ensue and Max will probably end up crying or in a fury. All Jeb needs is periodic visits to an eye doctor and he will be fine.
In Conclusion-
In Conclusion, follow the above instrustions and enjoy! Coming soon from Biotech Industries: Ari!