Video message recorded 0700 on Normandy SR-2

Date: xx/xx/2185

I just got back from meeting with the Illusive Man. He is such a coward that he won't meet with me in person. Probably for the best. He told me you're alive, but that your record is "surprisingly classified," and you got promoted to Staff Commander. You deserve it – you're one of the best officers I've worked with. I take "surprisingly classified" as meaning either he can't get the information or he won't tell me. Probably the later - he wouldn't want me to have you for support.

I debriefed with him after Freedom's Progress. That's the latest colony to go missing. I went there with Miranda Lawson and Jacob Taylor. Taylor reminds me of you, at least a little. He has the same calmness as you but I don't see your initiative in him. He lets Lawson speak for him and won't challenge my orders and assumptions. I can at least trust his words to be the truth - he told me that Cerberus brought me back and he doesn't trust them but at least they're doing something, unlike the Alliance. I can see his point, even if I don't agree with his choices.

Miranda Lawson, I can't decide what to think about her. She'd probably be a sentinel like us if she enlisted. She's a genius - she somehow managed to bring me back from the dead, after all. On top of that, she's deadly in a fight. On the other hand, she wanted a control chip in my brain but was overruled. I need to have Dr. Chakwas check that out herself. Tell you more about that later. She tries to tell me what to do and most of the time it makes sense. She still needs to prove herself to me.

About Freedom's Progress. Taylor was right, it was like everyone got up and left in the middle of dinner. It was unnerving, seeing a colony hit like that. I kept expecting to see bodies, like on Mindoir. Where was evidence of gun fire, or even thrown dishes? The only survivor we found was a quarian on Pilgrimage. Why wasn't there any volus or any other species? Even on Mindoir we had a few volus businessmen. Are all the Terminus colonies that xenophobic? The quarian pieced security footage together, even delirious. Why is it I always have quarians giving me evidence I need? First Tali, now Veetor.

Speaking of Tali, she was on Freedom's Progress, tracking down Veetor. We almost got killed by her escort when he saw the insignia on Lawson and Taylor. It seems that Cerberus attacked the Flotilla though Lawson "wouldn't describe it that way." I believe Tali over Lawson any day. Wish I could find out more, but Tali has her responsibilities. I overruled Lawson and let Tali take Veetor with her. The Illusive Man seemed surprised they gave us the data. What do you expect when you go in with commandos?

Forgot to tell you who the abductors were. It was some species that reminded me of insects called the Collectors. The worst part? The Illusive Man suspected as much, and didn't tell me. The bastard! Missing intel can be the difference between success and failure. If we knew about the geth, maybe Jenkins would have survived. I know, hindsight is 20-20 but it still hurts. I can't trust him to tell me anything and I doubt the Council or Alliance will help me now. Damn.

He talks of "someone I can trust" and then Joker walks in. Joker is not on the short list of people I wanted to see—the idiot is the reason I'm here in Cerberus' clutches. If he evacuated like he was supposed to, I wouldn't have died. I told him that if he ignores my orders, I'm not coming for him. Let him die. Still, he's the best pilot in the business, so I shouldn't complain.

Then Joker showed me my ship. A newer, bigger Normandy. She's beautiful. Dr. Chakwas followed Joker here but she made it clear, "I work for you Shepard." I wanted to ask her if she kept in touch with you, but it hurt too much to ask. I don't want to know. Have you moved on without me? The possibility bothers me more than I thought it would. Right now, it's easier not to know.

Cerberus is so desperate, there's an AI on the Normandy. The crew calls her EDI and I don't know what to think. We're taught AIs are bad and will come back to bite us in the ass, but I need every advantage I can find. Joker's threatened to get a solder gun from engineering if she gets out of line. She's already a she, an entity in her own right. What is wrong with me? I should know better than that.

I need to make my rounds of the crew, but not today. I'm going down to the armory to get a spare tech armor unit. I can't wait to tear it apart and see how it works and how to improve it. We always did that with new equipment, didn't we?

Moira