Disclaimer: The characters portrayed herein belong to JK Rowling, Warner Bros., Scholastic/Bloomsbury. No copyright infringement is intended. No money is being made.
Pink fluffy kittens pottered merrily around the small, windowless room. They sang in harmony, a song of rainbows and flowers and butterflies. Some even held hands with one another. Some had little collars with bells on around their fluffy pink necks.
The man slumped in one corner of the room began to stir. As he moved to push himself up from the floor into a sitting position, the motion sensor operated cameras in the room were switched on, sending the images to a screen in a room on the next floor up. A room which also contained six people who were filled with unholy glee and anticipation. Six people who leaned forward in perfect synchronization.
"Here we go." Lily grinned. The games were commencing, and it looked as though a very exciting grudge match would ensue.
"You do realise that this will be taken as a declaration of war, don't you Lysander?" Teddy asked, unable to keep the amusement of his voice. He knew that Lorcan would never let this go, even if he did love his brother, deeply and, if honest, frequently.
"Is the video recording?" Albus demanded, with Scorpius nodding rapidly in agreement.
"Course it is. As if I'd let this happen without being recorded for posterity!" Hugo hissed back, affronted at the suggestion that the blackmail opportunity of the century would be allowed to pass them by.
"Sh. Look" Lysander mumbled, jabbing a finger at the screen in delight.
Back in the kitten room, Lorcan raised a hand to rub at his face in an attempt to get some feeling back in his left cheek, when he realised something was dreadfully, horrifically, world shatteringly wrong. His hand, his beautiful, elegant hand was encased in pink fur. Blinking, Lorcan's eye's trailed down the length of his body, which was similarly encased in pink fur. His head had little pink pointy ears on it. The were attached to some kind of headband. What kind of deviant shit was going on here?
Suddenly, the noise that had, in Lorcan's confused and troubled state, only been a quiet, if high pitched murmur, came into terrible clarity. Head shooting up, he gazed around the room, taking in the kittens, the words of their song reverberating around his skull.
Lorcan did the only sane and sensible thing a man is his position could do.
He screamed.