Todd had just come to terms with the gooey innards of his predicament, perhaps he really was such a disgusting human being. They would throw him in jail because of this. His family would disown him. His friends would hate him. Neil would hate him. He was not about to let that happen. He was on his way to the resolution that he would marry a nice girl and have some nice children and be the man he was supposed to be when his roommate returned. Towel slung low on his hips and hair damp and clinging to his face and the back of his neck, Neil Perry made his grand entrance. In one hand were his own clothes and in the other was what the blonde boy had forgotten to scoop up before scampering out the bathroom in a hormonal frenzy. That was when Todd realised that he had just lost his best friend. The brunette knew that he'd been there and seen him doing his thing. He had foolishly left all the necessary evidence to lead Neil right to him. Now he was coming to confront Todd and nothing would ever be the same between them again.

The bile that had previously worked so hard to ride up his throat finally reached Its destination at this point. Like one of those amusement park activities where you hit the platform with a hammer to see if you could make the bell ring. That day's breakfast and a whole lot of burning stomach acid sped its way up the shorter boy's oesophagus. Neil opened his mouth to say something. Even in Todd's situation, he could see the uncertainty on his face until he was forced to push past the former towards the rubbish bin.

The semi-nude boy had managed only to choke out the first half of his best friend's name before he was interrupted by said best friend's gagging. The rubbish bin was already almost full with Todd's discarded poetry drafts (one of which he had decided he wanted to fish out and edit) which left minimal room for vomit. Through the buzzing of his ears, he felt a hand on the small of his back and a voice murmuring quiet words of consolation. Of course they were from Neil. He would have blocked the soft 'are you alrights' and 'Jesus Christ Todd what did you eats' out if it were anyone but his damp, naked angel (if the blonde was in a right state of mind, he would have been intimidated by his roommate's state of undress and close proximity to him). Neil was leaning over his friend's hunched body, feebly brushing at short strands of hair that didn't need to be brushed back. Todd was still thankful, however, it meant that he could feel the cold fingertips on his temple and cheek and drink in the sensation of the brunette's hands on his face. Anywhere the pads of Neil's fingers touched, the coolness would spread across the expanse of his best friend's skin, lingering for far too long yet fading away all too quickly, like the ripples of water in a pond. He wanted to lean into the light caress so that the hands would cup his cheek entirely, but alas, he was busy emptying the contents of stomach onto his discarded poetry (later he would joke that it was a metaphor for how bad they truly were).

When the retching had dwindled down to mere stomach acid, the uncomfortable thrumming in Todd's head lessened and he could hear perfectly clearly the concern in Neil's voice.

'Geez Todd, what the hell happened...did you eat something funny or-'

The blonde could still feel the hot tears that lined his eyes and swept at them with his sleeve.

'Y-yeah. Sorry. I had something weird at dinner, I knew I shouldn't have taken a tart.'

Neil looks at him with a quizzical expression.

'You weren't at dinner.'

Oh.

'You told us you had calculous homework to finish, remember? Charlie even offered to bring something back up for you.'

'I-I went down to get something just then,' and came back up to take a shower, only to watch you fist your dick like your life depended on it.

'Oh.'

Neil bit his lip, suddenly self-conscious of the fact that the only barrier existing between his upper thigh and Todd's arm was a thin towel. He pulled away and reached up to ruffle his hair only to realise that he was still holding onto his roommate's clothes. The shorter boy followed his gaze and Neil immediately decided that this warranted justification on his part.

'I found it on the bench,' he said, pointedly not looking at Todd or the clothes, 'they weren't there when I came in so I thought that maybe you went into the bathroom and left them there?'

This was nothing like the confrontation Todd had imagined. His mind had instead painted a frightening picture of fists flying and bloody murder. His best friend looked just as, if not more, unsure of himself. It most definitely did not make Todd want to throw himself at the other boy and kiss all his worries away.

'Yeah, I left them there by accident,' he reached over to grab his belongings, 'I was going to take a shower but I-' quick Todd, think! '-realised that wasn't my bedtime shirt.' He wanted to punch himself.

The creases on Neil's face softened and he pulled his mouth into a faint smile. 'You don't have a bedtime shirt.'

Todd could feel the tension in the room lift.

'And how would you know that?'

The brunette turned away, suddenly finding immensely interesting the creamy white wallpaper against his bed frame. Todd wanted to believe that the light pink tinge on his cheeks was not his imagination.

'So you didn't hang around? For long? In the bathroom I mean.'

You'd think an aspiring actor would be better at playing casual.

Realisation dawned on the blonde. His fun-loving, charismatic, affable best friend was trying to work out whether or not Todd had seen him jack off in the shower stall. He was deliciously bashful and vulnerable, a thought that went straight to the former's groin and made him want to caress his friend's face at the same time. It was yet another dirty little secret.

'Oh no. I dumped my stuff and ran out,' Todd gave a nervous little laugh, reprimanding himself for letting his eyes follow the edges and curves of Neil's lean figure all the way down to the trail of pubic hair that travelled beneath his towel. He wanted to trace it with him finger and see where it would take him. 'I forgot my toothbrush. You know me, I'm always really out of it!'

Neil let his face relax and, with an exhale that could move mountains, flopped down onto his roommate's bed, the bed he should most definitely not be touching in such a state of nakedness. Then he suddenly sat up. A look of guilt flashed across his features.

'Uh you should probably rest. I hope you're feeling ok now...it's always good to get the bad shit out of your system.'

Without thinking, Todd walked over to his bed and flopped down next to his best friend. From there, he could smell Neil's shampoo and Neil's body wash and a rich scent of grandeur and homeliness which was just entirely Neil. There was an aura of comfortable silence hanging in the air, a few words exchanged about homework and classes, but any half-assed attempt at making conversation soon died down. After a few minutes of minutes of waging his options out and trying to find the straightest thing to say to his guy friend who had probably watched him get himself off in the bathroom (Todd was a garbage liar and they both knew it), Neil propped himself up on his elbows. The boy next to him turned slightly to look at his roommate, why Todd had previously been so intent on boring holes into the window on the other side of the room he did not know.

Neil cleared his throat and tried to find the best way to phrase what he wanted to say.

What would Charlie do?

'I was just busy jacking off.' He wanted to shoot himself. He had meant for the statement to come out casual and brimming with confidence but his voice was shaky. He made a point to pick at the loose strands of fabric on the towel. The section of towel that covered his crotch. He surreptitiously removed his hand to rest by his side.

Oh boy.

This was going to be a long conversation.

He didn't look up at Todd, he could tell the blonde had gone pink. He always did in situations like this.

Neil summoned the frayed remains of his dignity and acting ability.

'It would've been weird if you walked in on me, right? So I was just checking how long you'd been there.'

The brunette forced himself to turn and grin cheekily at his roommate.

'I like my alone time with my thou-'

The look on Todd's face was not one that he had been anticipating. He was gawking at Neil, eyes blown wide open and mouth hanging unhinged. You would've thought someone had told him his best friend was actually a ghost with the way he was staring. He shook the amusing look off before Neil had a chance to relish it. His face was indeed pink. He wanted to drag his fingertips down the reddening shell of Todd's ear.

Wow that was a creepy thought.

'Are you okay? Shit this is probably a bad time for-' what was this? What would this awkward conversation about masturbation count as? -'guy talk. You're probably still feeling nauseous.' Neil thanked the heavens for his ability to speak succinctly whenever he pleased. He could hide the nervous stutter beneath his tongue, tuck Todd into his bed (he hated himself for the Neil that whispered to him from the deep dark recesses of his mind, 'more like fuck Todd into his bed? Amiright?'), and pretend like this never happened.

The blonde immediately sat bolt upright on the bed. 'You're right. I'm feeling particularly terrible today and I believe I should empty that rubbish bin over there,' he made a feeble gesture towards the corner of the room, 'and then get a good night's rest. I-I'll be right back.'

Todd left the room. He walked through the corridor, down the stairs and out the door. He held the garbage bag of vomit by the neat little bow he had tied at the top at arms length. He was only ten metres away from dumpster when he was ambushed by Knox, Meeks and Charlie. They were returning from dinner. He greeted them in a dazed fashion and continued on his way. It was only when the plastic bag of now-cold vomit was safely buried within the depths of the dumpster that Todd let what had happened sink in. Sliding down against the crumbling brick wall, he allowed himself the solace of running his hands through his hair.

Fuck.

Fuck.

Neil had just admitted to jacking off in the showers.

Todd could feel his heart beat quicken, there was a stampede in his chest. His face was flush with an excitement he could not describe nor categorise, the boy clutched at his shoulders and tried to calm his body. Whenever the blonde searched for a cohesive thought to latch onto, to calm the tornado Neil's word's had unleashed onto his brain, he could only think back to what he had seen in the shower stall. Sweet pink lips parted in the most erotic of ways, brows furrowed and hands grappling for purchase either on his own goods or the wall behind him. He was a sight to behold. Todd pushed the thought forcibly from his mind.

Disgusting.

He was disgusting.

He let one last thought ebb into his brain before closing this Pandora's box for what should have been forever.

Who was he thinking about when he was running his thumb over his slit? Or when he was convulsing with unadulterated pleasure? Who occupied the thoughts that Neil loved so much to be alone with?

With that, Todd pushed off the wall and left to go rinse his mouth. He wanted to go to bed.