She could tell which ones had given up. She could see it in the way they huddled in their doorways, in the way they sat hunched around their fires. Even at the height of the afternoon, Dust Town didn't see much activity, at least not the kind she wanted to be a part of. There was no bustling market here, no jobs to go to. Most people didn't even bother to beg anymore. Why should they? There was no one left to beg from.
Some sat lounging on the steps of crumbling homes, raucous packs of fledgling thugs who challenged any to come near. Others simply stared. Nell kept her distance from both. She sat alone in an empty doorway, her back against one wall and her boots resting against the other. She wasn't ready to give up, didn't want to be one of the starers. She also didn't want to be part of the Carta. She didn't want to be one of the ones who laughed too loudly and always kept an eye over their shoulder. She couldn't pretend that it was all a game, couldn't pretend that she didn't see.
But time was running out. She couldn't sit alone much longer. Nell wasn't pretty enough to borrow a fancy dress and some sparkly jewels and find herself a patron. Jarvia said she didn't have a face worth selling. But she did have thick shoulders and strong hands. The Carta would find work for her, and plenty of it. She wasn't a child any longer. It was time to make her own way, time to make a choice.
She worried her lucky stone between her fingers. It hung on a thong around her neck, a gift from her father before a knife in the back had ended his brief tenure with the Carta. He hadn't belonged here either. He'd been Warrior Caste once, had even gone ranging into the Deep Roads. But then he'd been caught stuffing his bags with stolen relics and they had ended up here. Nell wasn't angry. Her memories of him were fond ones.
Her father always told the best stories. She was too old now to believe most of them, but it still felt good to remember. In the Deep Roads, he'd said, the might of the dwarves was still preserved. The thaigs still stood, full of traps and treasure. Golems, too - whole armies of them waiting to be woken, ready to push back the darkspawn and reclaim their lost halls. Even as a child, Nell had known better. Once, the dwarves had forged mighty weapons, built legions of stone soldiers who could feel no pain. Once, their cities had stretched beneath the whole world. But the golems were gone and the thaigs were lost. Now, there was only this.
Except for her father's stone. He had known his daughter well, had known which stories she liked best. It was a piece of a golem, he'd said, an old guardian who had awakened to save him from a band of darkspawn. Together they'd fought their way out and, as a token of thanks, the creature had let him keep a piece of itself that had chipped off during the fight.
It was one of his silliest stories but, as a child, there was none that she'd wanted to believe more. If there were still golems in the deeps, the dwarves wouldn't be hiding, shut up in their crumbling city. If there were still golems, Orzammar would be more than a shadow of what it once was. But the golems were all gone and dead. The days of the dwarves would soon be over, too.
Turning the stone in her hand, she watched a group of boys sitting across the way. They were new Carta, a few years older than her. Normally they'd be laughing, boasting of their latest crimes, but today they sat with their heads bent close together, murmuring excitedly.
Nell pushed to her feet. "Hey, Jace. What's got you gossiping like a barmaid?"
The boy grinned up at her. Someone had knocked out even more of his teeth. "Grey Wardens in the Diamond Quarter. Seen 'em myself."
"Like they'd let you in the Diamond Quarter."
One of his friends laughed and elbowed him in the ribs. "See? Even the little warrior here doesn't believe you." His eyes raked over her. "You give Jarvia your answer yet, warrior?"
"Maybe." Nell folded her arms. "Did you really see Grey Wardens?"
"I said so, didn't I?"
Grey Wardens were the sort of thing that would have all the young dwarves talking. She could only remember a handful of times that they'd visited Orzammar before. But it didn't matter. People were always eager to see hope, even when there wasn't any.
She shook her head. "You know why they're here, don't you?"
"To fight the darkspawn. Everyone knows that."
"There's only one reason a Grey Warden comes here." Nell stared down at each of them in turn. "They come here when they've given up. They come here to die."
With that, she left them. She couldn't sit anymore, couldn't stay still. Her steps carried her along the dusty streets, past more hovels and more vacant eyes. Once, the dwarves had fought alongside the Grey Wardens. Once, they'd pushed the darkspawn back. Now, she wondered if Orzammar would even bother to fight when the time came. One good surge and the darkspawn would overrun them. And most of these people would just sit here and let it happen.
She'd come to what passed for Dust Town's market. There were no stalls, no noise, no cheerful hawking of wares. Here, the merchants embedded themselves like ticks, barricading themselves in their shops and casting a wary eye on any customers who dared to venture inside. Today, though, there was some sort of commotion. A pair of excited children nearly barreled into her as she came around a corner and she watched them go, listened to their fading laughter.
"The door's too low. You'll have to wait here."
"While it buys itself more trinkets? It will expect me to carry them, no doubt."
"Merchants also sell information."
"Bah."
Looking toward the strange voices, Nell's eyes went wide. Were these the Grey Wardens? They didn't look like warriors of legend. They didn't even look particularly fierce. These were soft, bickering creatures, too young and too pretty. It wasn't for them that she'd stopped dead in the middle of the street, wasn't them that made her clutch at the stone around her neck.
Her father had told it true.
The man with the griffons on his armor ducked into the shop, taking the two others with him. He was right - the door was half collapsed, too low. So he'd left his golem outside.
His golem. It was smaller than she would have thought, but there was no mistaking the thick stone arms, the softly glowing runes, the crystals that twinkled prettily across its chest and shoulders. Nell had never seen anything so beautiful.
She took a hesitant step forward. If she didn't know better, she'd say the creature looked restless. It watched the people come and go, watched them gape in shock and keep their distance. As she drew closer, Nell heard it give a rumbling sigh.
The golem saw her, then. There was a grinding of stone as it looked down at her, its eyes narrowing. "Go away."
"You're a golem."
"The little dwarf has eyes. It must be very proud."
"I've never seen a golem before. I've always wanted to."
"If the little dwarf is feeling fulfilled, perhaps it will not mind when I crush its head."
"Do you do that a lot? Head crushing?"
"Oh, yes."
"Must be nice."
The golem tilted its head curiously. "You are a strange little dwarf."
"You're a strange golem. Not like I thought you'd be."
"And how should I be, if the little dwarf is so wise?"
"Dead."
The golem barked a laugh. "I am not dead." It noticed her necklace and gestured with a thick finger. "What is it clutching?"
"This." Nell held the stone up for inspection.
The creature almost smiled. "Hm. Pretty."
She tucked the stone back into her shirt. "My father said it came from a golem, a piece that broke off when-"
"Bah! Barbaric. Come closer, little dwarf. I promise not to crush it."
Nell took a careful step backwards. "I wear it to remember. I'd rather be a golem than a dwarf, any day. I want to be strong. I want to fight. I don't want to die here."
The golem blinked, if golems blink. "It cannot be a golem, but the little dwarf is wise to wish it." Again, it sighed. "But if it enjoys crushing, then crush. If it would fight, fight."
No, this wasn't how she'd imagined golems at all. But the fact that it was here, that there was one golem left walking around, talking to her, fighting alongside the Grey Wardens… it felt strangely like hope.
For the first time in months, Nell smiled. "Maybe I'll get some of those crystals, too. They're very pretty."
There, in the dim filth of Dust Town, the golem smiled back.