Prompt: AU in which Bilbo is really a burglar. Contains Thilbo. I'm thinking the title should be "Raiders of the Lost Arkenstone".
Stealing was an art to Bilbo Baggins. He was a master thief, taking as he pleased and walking away without a doubt in his mind. Some would question how someone like him slept at night, but he'd just laugh and say that he didn't eat any pie before he slept so he wouldn't stay up. He was a wonderer who could make his home anywhere in the world, if only for a brief period of time. He'd set his eyes on Erebor when he'd heard of it's great wealth.
Nothing compared to seeing it in person, however.
Gold lined the walls and jewels were in the furniture. Erebor screamed of riches and it became Bilbo Baggins new playground. If he weren't a traveler than he would've loved staying and truly enjoying what Erebor had to offer.
There was one person in Erebor who Bilbo could say that he loved. Thorin Oakenshield, slayer of the dragon Smaug, and the wealthiest dwarf of them all. When the two were alone he would often run his rough hands through Bilbo's curls and tell him stories of his adventure. The stories interested Bilbo. He'd often have to stifle his laughter when he heard of the burglar they'd had, which had been a young human.
"Useless little rat," Thorin called him. "He nearly got us killed multiple times, and when an elf shot him I certainly wasn't sad. It was the only time in my life that I ever thought well of an elf."
Bilbo wondered if his journey would have been any better had Bilbo been Thorin's burglar.
They'd met at the dwarven market, Bilbo trading the items he had collected over his journey. Thorin had been interested in the line of wares Bilbo had, and in buying some stones that Bilbo had taken from elves (which Bilbo had lied and said came from humans), had striked up a conversation with Bilbo. It had lasted hours, and though many other dwarves had wanted to purchase Bilbo's goods, none bothered to interrupt Thorin's conversation with the hairy-footed stranger. Afterwards, Thorin had patted Bilbo on the back and invited him to dinner.
Dinner was fine food and wine, Thorin's nephews joining him at the feast. Their conversation was lively, and for once Bilbo really had someone to talk to. When you were a thief you had all the gold you could get, but friendship wasn't as easy to steal.
When Bilbo had tried leaving a few days letter after having sold all his merchandise, Thorin had begged for him to stay. Bilbo hadn't known how to refuse, and he had liked the place.
Bilbo didn't know when the relationship became romantic, but the shift from friendship to love seemed so natural. Thorin's body fit into Bilbo like a puzzle piece whenever they kissed. Bilbo let out moans of pleasure whenever he and Thorin were alone, something he had thought he'd never be able to feel. Thorin was all of Bilbo's dreams made real, and he couldn't have been happier even if he'd had all the jewels of Erebor with him. Technically, he did.
One day Thorin had asked Bilbo to marry him. Bilbo couldn't recall how long it had been since he'd been together with Thorin at that point, the days all mixing into one another.
"You know it's only right," the dwarven king had said. "You could rule with me. It would be perfect for both of us."
Yes, Bilbo had thought, fighting back tears. It would.
The chance before him was everything Bilbo had ever wanted: Someone who loved him, friendship with other dwarves he'd never had before, and all the jewels and gold that he could possibly want. He wouldn't have to constantly escape from one place to the other any longer, instead staying in Erebor.
But he declined, knowing that it wasn't for him. Bilbo knew that though Thorin knew him well, he didn't know who he really was. Bilbo was a burglar he could never stay in one place. Part of it he blamed on his Took blood and part of it on himself.
Thorin's lips were like honey, his hands rough but his caress soft. Bilbo wanted to say yes, but he knew that Thorin would never get to see the true Bilbo, and he didn't deserve a relationship based on lies. He truly did love and care for Thorin, and he knew he had to do the right thing for him.
Bilbo had decided on going back to the Shire and swindling a few things before doing business with humans. He took the Arkenstone from Thorin's throne, then snuck past the guards with his grace and agility. He was perhaps the greatest thief that Thorin Oakenshield, or all of Middle-Earth itself, would ever have the terrible luck to encounter.
With the beautiful Arkenstone and Thorin's heart in his old and reliable brown cloth messenger bag, the hobbit took off, a shadow in the light under the full moon. Tears fell down his face, but he told himself that surely he had done the right thing. A thief could never be worthy of the title of a king.
Maybe one day he would finally believe those words that he repeatedly told himself.
Author's Note: Like I said, I'm taking prompt suggestions. Just message me one you want me to do or put it in a review and I'd be happy to do it. So, did you guys like this one? It was inspired by redcat18 on Tumblr.