It was hard for Dean to move after Jessica ended their phone call. He wasn't sure what to make of it. First and foremost, he was positive he wasn't going to go. There was no way in hell he would be able to go and sit through a meal with these people, and Sam most certainly didn't want him there. If he did he would have called himself and invited him. Dean shook his head, put the phone on the dresser and continued to strip his clothes for his warm bath.

"What if Sammy didn't call me because there is some code or something somewhere that says if you are a guest you can't invite someone else?" Dean mused aloud. It had been so long since he'd actually spoken to people that he had taken to talking to himself in the shower or in the car.

"That right there is proof that I shouldn't go." He said. "I don't even know the proper etiquette for inviting people. No. It's better that I just not go. This Jessica girl may just be trying to do something nice for Sam. He probably doesn't even want me there. Naw, she's doing this on her own, Sam didn't prompt her." He finished washing and went into the bedroom portion of his room, took his purchase off of the table and sat down on the bed, ready to turn on some bad television and get drunk.

He opened the bottle and looked at it. If he was drunk he wasn't going to be able to go to Jessica's, and see Sam. But he'd decided against it, hadn't he? The longer he looked around the room, at the television, and the bottle, the longer he heard the silence pressing in on him, the more he thought about what it would be like to have a sit down Christmas eve dinner. What it would be like to have a home cooked meal. One that wasn't donated by the church because some kind hearted old woman couldn't stand to see Sam not be fed, because he always knew, even then, that those women were more worried about Sam then they were him.

Dean shook the thoughts out of his head. He wasn't the one who wanted normal…wasn't the one who dreamed of a home cooked meal, with a mom and a dad and aunts and uncles and grandparents, and a girl at his side that was so beautiful it was almost painful to look at her. Nope. That was Sam's. Wasn't it? The bottle made it half way to his mouth, and he stopped. Maybe…maybe he could borrow that fantasy, even if it was just for a little while. Maybe Sam would see him, smile, clap him on the shoulder and say "Good to see you man. I've missed you." Maybe he could have a new relationship with his brother, and maybe they could actually be friends again.

He put the cap back on the liquor and got dressed. He needed to go and buy a new outfit and a gift.

***

Every single time the doorbell rang, Jessica was up and on her feet and answering it. Her mother knew that she was waiting and hoping that Sam's brother would show up, Jessica seemed under the impression that his brother coming over would make Sam happy. Jessica's mother decided that she knew the boy better than she did, but she was fairly certain the tall gangly boy was just fine without speaking to his family. She half wondered sometimes if the boy had been abused when he was young, he always had that wary look, and sometimes he was positively jittery when someone was walking behind him.

This time when the doorbell rang and Jessica skidded in her socks to answer it, she found a tall handsome man. Short hair, green eyes, sweater, and a smile that was nervous and intoxicating. This must be Dean.

"Dean?" she asked. He shuffled his feet, patted the sweater that was peeking out from a worn, slightly too big leather jacket and nodded.

"Jessica?" he asked. She jumped and laughed. Blonde curls going every which way, and she grabbed him and hugged him.

"I'm so glad you came."

"Thanks." He said softly. She let go and he handed her the bottle of wine the woman at the grocery store said was appropriate, and the gift bag of assorted candles for her mother. It had been very difficult for him to locate these gifts. The woman at the grocery store looked at him for a moment, gave him a sympathetic smile and helped him with everything. She was what he thought a grandmother might be like.

"Oh, let me get your coat. Sam's in the living room." She took his coat and threw it in a bedroom that was already full of coats. Then she escorted him into an empty bedroom and told him to stay right there, and then she disappeared. He stood there and rubbed his hands together, wondering why exactly he was here, wondering why he was doing this, when he heard Sam's voice coming up the stairs and then the door opened and when Sam saw who was inside, he stopped, his smile fell and he blinked hard.

"Sammy." He said gruffly.

"Dean. What are you doing here?"

"I invited him." Jessica said after Sam's lukewarm greeting.

"How did you get his number?"

"Well…" She had the grace to look embarrassed. "I looked through your phone." She said softly. He nodded.

"Jess, excuse us for a moment."

"Of course." She smiled and left them.

"What are you doing here Dean?"

"She invited me. I just wanted to see you this Christmas."

"Christmas hasn't meant anything to you in a long time."

"I know…but…she called…"

"And you wanted a free meal?"

"No. No. No. Sammy, I just…"

"It's Sam." Dean bristled.

"I don't want anything." Dean said finally and he felt like he had been defeated by an onslaught of supernatural beings.

"Don't you dare embarrass me or Jessica." Dean looked down and licked his lips.

"I won't Sam." He said softly. He shook his head. "I knew I shouldn't have come." He said and grabbed his coat. "Sorry Sam, didn't mean to intrude."