She watched in the rearview mirror as Elliot followed her, unsure of why she was even letting him come over in the first place. She knew he would have questions and she felt no obligation to tell him the change she had gone through. It was none of his damn business as far as she was concerned. It however made her worry about the importance of what he had to say.

He didn't owe her this, or anything for that matter. She was just simply his partner and she didn't need to hear the justification of why he left. That was his business, not hers.

You're just lying to yourself.

She could hear the words echo in the back of her mind. He was more than a partner, and that was something she hoped she would never have to admit. But here they were, years later, headed back to her place to discuss what had happened. She wanted to yell at him for leaving her like that and wanted to blame him for some of the things that had happened to her.

Lewis. Sealview.

It seemed like some of the most horrific things had happened to her when he wasn't at her side. To this day she still hadn't told him what had happened when she was undercover at the prison. Part of that was because she didn't want him to feel guilty that he couldn't have protected her. She always knew what she was getting into, and there was not a part of her that ever blamed Elliot for not being at her side.

But where was he when you needed him the most?

She shook the bad thoughts she was having as she pulled up to the apartment, waiting for Elliot to pull in beside her. They climbed out of their cars and he followed her to the elevator, both remaining silent. They walked in unison off the elevator and around the corner to her door, remaining silent as they entered the apartment. It was quiet and rather dark, the only light coming from the back room.

"Have a seat El and I will be right back. I'm gonna change out of these clothes." Olivia smiled, walking towards the back of the apartment.

He watched her leave and headed towards the couch, looking around at her new place. There were pictures of her and the crew at work, making him slightly jealous. The man next to her had his arm draped around her, making him assume it was her new partner. He hoped he was good enough to keep Olivia safe, not that it really mattered. It wasn't his job anymore, and not a day went by when he wondered if Liv was as safe with a new partner.

He was the one that had left her, alone.

He remembered the one time that he had called the unit, hoping to check it without anyone noticing. It was almost a year after he had left. He had called Cragen to ask about everything, hoping he would give him answers. It seemed like everything was doing okay until he asked one question…. The one he promised himself he wouldn't ask.

"How's Liv doing?"

It was a simple question. He assumed the change was rough, but he knew she was strong and able to move on without him at her side. That's why he refused to answer any of her calls. He knew it would only make things worse.

"How do you think she is Elliot? You walked away to your family and left her here. She stayed here with nobody."

That answer was one of the main reasons he hadn't ever returned to see her. She was better off without her and it was obvious that everyone else agreed.

But you're here, tonight. Just tell her.

There was a photo from Munch's retirement party that he hadn't noticed. Olivia and Cassidy stood at the end with their arms wrapped around each other, looking like more than friends. He had remembered her saying something about moving in with Brain, but he had never assumed it was Cassidy. He wondered of Cassidy was here, or maybe at work. Was she going out of town to spend the weekend with him?

How things have changed.

Out of the corner of his eye, he seen a girl appear and walk out the door. He had no clue where she had come from, and had no idea who she was. He turned back around and debated on sitting on the couch, still waiting on Olivia. Wanting something to drink, he changed his mind and made his way to the kitchen to grab a beer from the fridge. He couldn't stand still, let alone sit down.

She stood in front of the closet, trying her best to keep herself together. She promised herself that she wouldn't cry tonight, though she hadn't in a long time. She remembers the nights she spent crying right after he had left, wondering what had gone wrong. She had a breakdown at work the moment Cragen had told her the news. She tried not to blame herself, hoping she wasn't the reason he had left.

Maybe she wasn't enough for him.

She tried to rationalize every reason why, but that seemed to be the one that she truly believed. She hoped things were good for him. She wants to be able to tell him the good things that had happened when he left. She wants him to believe that she is okay now without him.

Even if that was a lie.

Grabbing a beer, he flipped off the lid and lifted the bottle to his lips. He stood at the sink and stared out the window, unsure of what he was going to say exactly. Olivia didn't even seem like the same person anymore. But could he blame her?

What? Did you expect her to wait around for you?

He pushed the thought out of the back of his mind as he head footsteps, turning around to find Olivia in the kitchen with him. She had let her hair down from the clip, making him realize how short her hair was now. She had changed. He was looking at a totally different woman now.

He felt proud to know she had moved on to better things, even if it hurt to know it wasn't with him. He hoped that he had forgiven him for the way that he left, even though he hadn't forgiven himself.

"I can't believe how much you've changed Liv."

"Yeah, things change when you disappear for three years. What did you expect El?"

"Look, I'm not here to fight or try to make you feel bad. It was my fault that I left without telling you and trust me, I feel horrible every damn day for what I did. But the only reason I am here is because I want you to understand because part of me feels like we both need closure!"

"Closure! What I needed was my best friend by my side when I needed him the most! Seriously Elliot, did you even know what happened the last few months? My life was HELL and all I wanted was the support I needed."

The support she deserved.

Before he could even respond, he heard a noise from the back room and watched as Olivia disappeared. He stood there, waiting for her to come back. He didn't want to follow her because he sure as hell didn't want to see Cassidy.

Maybe he shouldn't have come tonight. He never expected them to be fighting, and he sure as hell didn't expect her to be this angered towards him. It was obvious she had been holding all of this in for a while.

"Elliot, don't freak out." Olivia whispered before coming around the corner.

"Okay."

She reappeared with a small child in her arms, no older than 6 months. He had dark brown hair and dark eyes, looking like a true Benson. He couldn't believe she had baby and he didn't know about it. Out of all the thing she could have told him, this was one he would have never expected. It was one of the many things that had happened while he was gone.

The small child reached out for him, and he walked over to take him from her, smiling as he did.

He was beautiful, just like her.

"Elliot, this is Noah. Noah, this is Elliot. He is one of mommy's friends from work." Olivia cooed, handling him over.

He watched as she moved towards the sink to make a bottle, noticing how natural it was for her. He always knew she would be a fantastic mom, and he had no doubt Noah would grow up with the best opportunities. He knew she would want him to grow up and experience everything the world could offer to him, and that she would always be at his side.

Her dreams were coming true, with or without him.

"Do you want me to take him El?" Olivia asked, trying to get his attention.

He shook his head and took the bottle in her hand, carrying Noah in his arms as he took the bottle. He could tell it wouldn't take much before he would be asleep, and he could see Liv yawn from the corner of his eye. It was getting late and he needed to just get the courage tell her the truth.

Please don't let the truth push her further away.