18th December 2020
"6 days, 9 hours and 36 minutes, since I last saw my wife." Quinn thought sombrely as Rachel quickly stirred their coffee; she placed a mug in front of Quinn, she leaned forward; and slowly sipped it, Rachel had come round every day to talk to Quinn about her relationship since Santana moved out; and Rachel politely asked things that were important, whether Santana had come home or called; even though she knew everything already; she knew Quinn needed someone to vent to; as this ordeal was hurting her just as much as Santana.
"She's not coming home. It's been nearly a week. It's over… we're over." said Quinn as she looked at everything but Rachel's eyes, that she knew would be filled with pity; she didn't need pity; it was her fault, she was the one to blame, and Quinn knew this; she had long accepted this; she needed Santana; not pity.
"She will come back, you know? She's just upset… understandable. I think you should try calling her." Rachel offered her some advice; knowing things were still tense between Quinn and Santana; given the fact Santana hadn't talked to Quinn since last week; and Quinn hadn't made any contact, scared of the response.
"And say what? I'm sorry… please come home. It's Santana, she knows me; she's knows I'm dying inside." said Quinn, looking at her coffee, it was a chocolate brown colour; and instantly reminded Quinn of Santana's eyes; she sighed and looked up, "I made a mistake... I just... How can you fix something when you don't know how."
Rachel shrugged; she had no advice; and knew Quinn needed to solve this on her own; Quinn bit her bottom lip; the constant itch of loneliness creeping up on her; she snapped her eyes onto Rachel.
"How is she?" Quinn asked, hoping Rachel would be honest; Rachel looked around, not knowing whether Santana would want her to tell Quinn, "I know Santana's there. Is she okay?" Quinn added in a low murmur.
"Quinn, she's hardly there and when she is; she stays in the spare bedroom, or falls asleep with Britt on the couch." said Rachel, "She's not okay… I find it stupid, you would even ask that."
"I know… Can I come and see her?" said Quinn, "I'll wait until she comes from work."
"She's due home in half an hour… Although I find this a terrible idea, you're welcome to try and talk to her." said Rachel standing up; Quinn nodded, and slowly the nerves of seeing her wife again; Quinn got inside Rachel's car, and they drove to Brittany and Rachel's house; Quinn followed Rachel inside. The house was beautiful; it summed both Rachel and Brittany up; with just the right amount of each other, to balance the atmosphere. Quinn bit her lip, slowly squeezing her own hand in the hope; her nerves would stop; it was Santana she was waiting for; she had spent the last 13 years knowing her; but Quinn was terrified of Santana's reaction; she had seen Santana angry, jealous, happy, sad... but the memory of Santana being hurt beyond words; it was probably the most haunting of reactions. Suddenly Quinn was snapped out of her thoughts, as Rachel pulled Brittany back into the kitchen, she heard Brittany shouting loudly about her being a horrible person, and about Santana deserving better; Quinn sunk her head in agreement; Santana did deserve better; Rachel returned, and offered Quinn a small smile.
"Britt has a lot of work to finish." said Rachel smiling sadly as even she knew that lie was rubbish, "Good news is she's not gonna tell Santana you're here."
Quinn nodded
"I'm making a mistake, aren't I? If she wanted to see me, she would came home." said Quinn
"It's not really a home for her… is it?" snapped Brittany appearing at the fridge; her hands covered in blue paint; Rachel looked torn, between her girlfriend; and her best friend; wanting to mediate.
"Britt…-"said Quinn
"Don't bother. Save your stupid excuses and pathetic apologises for Santana." said Brittany sipping her vitamin water, "I'll be in the back."
Brittany leaned up and kissed Rachel's cheek, before walking out. Quinn sighed, Brittany was scary whenever it came to protecting Santana, and she was so frightened by Brittany then, it just led her to wonder how angry Santana would still be. Suddenly she was leaning against the kitchen counter; Rachel helped her sit on the couch, and offered her some water.
"Here… Just Relax." said Rachel soothing Quinn's arms; "Santana would be glad to see you're alright; I mean... She loves you, Quinn."
"For how long?" snapped Quinn pushing Rachel's hands away; and slamming her own hands on the kitchen table; "For how long until I screw up again and love isn't enough to fix this?"
Rachel shrugged her shoulders; "You love her, Quinn. You wouldn't be here if you didn't... You just made a mistake."
Quinn shook her head, as if she was giving up; Rachel touched Quinn's hand.
"Maybe you can fix this… counselling or therapy?" said Rachel trying to offer suitable suggestions to Quinn, who just lightly smiled and shook her head, knowing Santana inside out, she was just not that type.
"Does Santana look the type to go to either of those?" said Quinn, with a quirked eyebrow
"Britt mentioned Santana went to counselling when her father passed away." Rachel murmured, wiping her hands on a towel; before placing it on the table; Quinn looked at her, in utter shock; she had never been told about this before; I mean she knew Santana handled her father's death hard but counselling was never brought up.
"You didn't know?" said Rachel noticing Quinn's reaction
"I guess it slipped her mind…" said Quinn
"You don't think something like would remain important for your wife to know?" said Rachel
"I haven't been much of a wife." Quinn replied; Rachel shook her head, getting ready to argue; but she let it slide; "I miss her so much."
"Oh please?" scoffed Brittany walking inside the room, Quinn slowly looked at Brittany, her features were exactly the same as always, yet Brittany had changed towards her, her whole attitude had changed, Quinn wasn't surprised Brittany was Santana's best friend after all.
"What?" said Quinn, not wanting to have an argument with Brittany, especially since Santana was due to arrive any minute now, and she was already nervous about that, not to mention Santana's reaction to her verbally attacking her best friend; Quinn was taking deep breaths and was trying to relax but Brittany's silence was making her feel even more awkward, Quinn snapped; her voice differently louder, "What?"
"Don't you dare snap at me!" said Brittany, "After everything you've done! You're not even worth it… You think you can come here, and win her back; well try a little harder, Quinn. She wouldn't have left if you were worth it… I thought you would be different; I thought you actually cared about someone else for once. You're still that scared little girl in high school."
"Britt!" said Rachel wrapping her arms around her waist, "Calm down… okay?"
"No… it's not okay. You know how I feel, you know how San feels… why the hell did you let her come?" said Brittany struggling to break free from Rachel's tight grip around her waist
"She wants to see her wife… I can't stop her from coming; either way… do you really want Quinn waiting outside for Santana?" said Rachel
"She doesn't have to." said Brittany
"Why not?" said Rachel with a confused expression; Brittany rolled her eyes as if the answer was obvious; Brittany looked towards the front door.
"Because she stood at the front door." said Brittany, just like that all eyes snapped straight to the beautiful Latina, who was leaning against the front door, her hair slightly wavy and skimming down her shoulders, she was wearing a white blouse, which hugged her chest, and black trousers, Santana slowly bit her bottom lip nervously.
"Santana…" said Rachel letting go of Brittany, who immediately walked over to her
"I tried to make her leave." said Brittany looking into Santana's eyes, Quinn couldn't help but feel jealous towards Brittany as Santana was being so affectionate towards her best friend
"I know you did Britt." said Santana smiling, Brittany smiled, and nuzzled her head into Santana's neck, as she urged her for a hug, Santana took her hint and lightly hugged her; her eyes snapping to Quinn, as soon as hazel met dark brown, Santana looked away.
"San…-"said Quinn softly; her voice laced with love; the concern made Santana shy away; she couldn't handle Quinn being here.
"W-What are you doing here?" Santana stuttered, a little shocked but her tone enveloping the mask of appearance; she avoided Quinn's eyes, and focused on everything else.
"I needed to see you." Quinn blurted out quickly; hating the way the room was tensing up; it was like the room was full of strangers; feeling her skin burn under Santana's deathly gaze
"I can't... I can't do this." Santana mumbled before storming back outside the front door; Quinn didn't wait for Rachel or Brittany to stop her; and she immediately ran after Santana; who was walking down the block; Quinn jogged after her; she without even realising let her fingers wrap around Santana's wrist; tugging her into stopping.
Santana's eyes glued to Quinn's fingers that were still wrapped around her wrist; Quinn followed Santana's focus and saw her hand; she slowly released her hand.
"I'm sorry-"Quinn started
"I don't wanna hear it." Santana interrupted her; her voice faking a sturdy confidence, as she fell apart inside; she wasn't expecting this. She wasn't expecting Quinn to show up; unannounced.
"I know... I just... I am." Quinn said, trying not to cry; but the tears had already fallen down her now moist cheeks; Santana didn't look at her; focusing on the houses on the opposite direction; she heard Quinn sniffle softly.
"Why are you here, Quinn?" Santana said; Quinn could taste the contempt on the way Santana poke her name; she swallowed whatever apology she was going to say.
"I needed to see you... It's been a week; I was worried about-"Quinn said
"You weren't worried about me. Don't lie to me; you don't give a fuck about me!" Santana snapped; her body humming in anger; Quinn nodded slightly, almost timidly in the hope of not pissing Santana off anymore; "Do me a favour Quinn... Stay away from me."
Santana didn't even wait for Quinn to reply; or offer any agreement or acknowledgment; before she ripped her car door open; and slammed it shut; she then drove off; not looking back at Quinn who was stood in the same position.
Quinn walked back to Rachel and Brittany's; she reached the front porch when she met Brittany's presence; she was biting her bottom lip; and Quinn noticed the worry in her blonde eyes among something else.
"She asked me to stay away... So I guess I'll be going. Tell Rach not to bother coming over; I have a lot of work this week; so I'll be too busy."
Brittany nodded, not even meeting Quinn's existence; Quinn just lightly nodded; and went to walk away; "She's thinking about moving back to California."
Quinn snapped her head round at the Brittany's indiscretion; revealing a detail like that after Santana had basically told her to leave alone. She then recognised the fear swirling in Brittany's eyes; the fear of losing her best friend if Santana did move back to California.
"She got offered a job at some big shot Lawyer firm. They offered her partnership... It's what she wants; what she deserves." Brittany spoke; she slowly sniffled, knowing she had to do this; she had to tell Quinn.
"I would never stop her." Quinn muttered; "If that's what you think."
Brittany laughed humourlessly; "Do you think I want her to leave? She's my best friend, Quinn."
"I know."
Brittany closed the front door behind her; she moved forward and leaned against the wooden beam supporting the front porch. She breathed out slowly; avoiding looking over at Quinn; for the moment.
"She's moving because she thinks she has nothing here. The same reason she left California during college..." Brittany said; meeting Quinn's gaze; "What are you gonna do?"
"Nothing." Quinn said softly after a few seconds of silence; Brittany quirked her eyebrow up in surprise; "I can't force her to stay... She deserves this like you said... She has nothing here, right?"
Brittany scoffed; and walked back to the front door; she snapped it open; and looked back at Quinn.
"Was it worth it?"
Quinn shook her head
"No." Quinn murmured
Brittany nodded faintly; and slammed the door after her. Quinn took her acknowledgment and began walking home; trying to quench the anger she felt at Santana for leaving; the hatred she felt at herself for forcing Santana into making that decision. She reached her home; and looked up; she saw the house Santana fell in love with; the house she learned to love just for Santana; and ultimately the house she had alone; nothing more than the messed up child she was in high school. The only difference was she could have been saved and she chosen not to. Quinn walked inside; closing the door but not locking it; she walked through to the front room. She laughed humourlessly as she picked up a photo of her wedding day; Santana looked so beautiful; she couldn't remember a time she was so happy than on that day. She remembered that when things went all wrong. Quinn bit her lip as she acknowledged her wedding as the catalyst of her making it her ambition to hurt Santana. It was intentional; it was just a collective state of events which in turn led her to the 12th December; ultimately the crucial moment. Santana slammed the door; causing the house to let out a haunting thud in the silence of one ruined marriage.
"I didn't come here to hurt you... now I can't stop."
All Reviews are loved; I hope people are reading; and are enjoying the story so far; any suggestions are welcome