A/N: This was originally intended to be a one-shot fic, but I have a lot of people asking me to keep going with it. So, I will!
As the Snowflakes Fall
Chapter Two
Squall sighed and leaned back a little, hoping the long, bumpy car ride would end. Selphie was driving all of them into Trabia. She'd rented out a little cabin to be used as a vacation spot.
Of course, Selphie wanted to bring the whole gang. Much to Squall's disappointment, Seifer was with them.
The car pulled up and stopped outside of the cabin. Everyone got out of the vehicle quickly, wanting to get moving again after the consecutive train and car ride.
"Jeez, Selphie!" Complained Zell, stretching, "Why do you have to drive like a crazy? I'm aching all over!"
"Shut up, chickenwuss." Snapped Seifer, "You whine about everything."
Squall inwardly groaned. This week-long vacation was going to be awful.
The trunk popped open, and everyone started unloading the luggage.
Squall had barely brought anything. But the girls all had huge bags packed full of stuff.
Squall picked up his bag and slung it over his shoulder. Rinoa looked at him sweetly over her mountainous bag, "Will you help me carry this?"
Squall rolled his eyes, "Look, it's not my fault you decided to take everything in your possession."
"Oh come on, Squall!" Yelled Irvine, "It's the boyfriend's duty to carry the girlfriend's bag."
"On that note…" Squall said, handing Irvine's bag to Selphie.
"BURN!" Zell shouted.
"That was uncalled for." Irvine grumbled, taking his bag back from Selphie.
"Man, it must suck for you guys! I only have to carry this little duffel bag of my stuff. One advantage of being single." Zell mocked as Squall angrily grabbed Rinoa's bag.
"Think again." Squall replied, forcibly shoving Rinoa's bag into Zell's arms.
Zell immediately fell down under the weight while Squall turned and casually went into the house.
Seifer roared with laughter as Zell got back on his feet with Rinoa's bag, trying to gain his balance.
"Shut up!" Zell screamed at Seifer, storming into the house as well.
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"Man, this is nice, Selphie." Commented Irvine as he looked around the cabin.
Everyone was inside, along with their bags.
"Thanks, Irvine!" Selphie cheered. "Oh, one more thing. A few of my friends are going to visit for a little while tonight. They'll only stay for a couple of hours. Is that okay?"
"Sure, we could use the extra company." Zell said.
Squall folded his arms. "As if being alone in a house with just you all isn't bad enough already…"
"Hey, don't be mean!" Selphie stomped. "Why do you have to spoil everyone else's fun? Just because you are mister anti-social doesn't mean we shouldn't enjoy ourselves. You can be such an arrogant jerk sometimes, Squall."
"This stupid vacation wasn't my idea. I certainly didn't want to come." Squall replied.
"You always have to be mad about something." Irvine growled. "Lighten up."
Seifer snorted, "Never going to happen. Leonhart's so set on being 'cold' that he'll never let his ego down enough to actually act normal. He's always going to be a jerk."
Squall glared at Seifer, "You're one to talk, asshole. At least I wasn't the sorceress's damn lapdog."
"Hey, I was possessed…" Seifer started
"Oh, shut up. The court might accept that bullshit, but I don't. You knew what you were doing." Squall retorted.
Seifer moved closer to Squall, "Well at least I'm not the current sorceress's bitch."
Before anyone could react, Squall had Seifer on the wall by his throat. As he squeezed off the air supply, he growled, "I'll kill you, you stupid son of a bitch."
Zell and Irvine grabbed Squall, but couldn't break his iron grip. Rinoa quickly came over and grabbed Squall's arm, hard. "Stop it!" she screamed.
Squall released his grip on Seifer a little. As soon as he did, Zell and Irvine pulled him off and tried to restrain him.
Seifer took a few raspy breaths. "Fuck, Leonhart. You're a psycho."
Squall stayed still for a moment. Then, he jerked his arms away from Zell and Irvine. "Get your hands off me." He hissed.
Squall turned and silently walked out the door.
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Once outside, Squall walked a good distance from the cabin, anger still pulsing through him. He made sure he was not visible from the house, then pulled out a cigarette and lit it.
He inhaled and sighed as he exhaled. He didn't frequently smoke, but sometimes he just needed it.
Back at the cabin, the room was silent for a moment after Squall left. Rinoa sighed in anger. "Why do you always have to push him like that, Seifer?"
"Hey, I'm not the one with an anger problem, not anymore. That guy has serious issues." Seifer grumbled.
Rinoa walked to Seifer and slapped him across the face. "Don't you ever talk like that about him! You are such a jerk. You directly insulted me, and you knew that would set him off. You enjoy it, don't you?"
She went to the door and opened it.
"Where you going?" Zell asked.
"I need to talk to him."
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Squall lit up another cigarette.
He didn't hear Rinoa coming. She looked and realized that he was holding a lit cigarette.
"Squall, I thought you quit that." She said.
He inhaled again, "I did."
She scowled and walked over to him. In one quick motion, she grabbed the cigarette and threw it into the snow.
Squall folded his arms angrily and looked away from her.
"Squall, would you just talk to me?" She asked.
He didn't respond to her.
"Look, I know you and Seifer have had problems, and I'm sorry that all happened. Can you please just calm down and come back to the cabin?" She pleaded.
"I'd rather stand out here and freeze." He replied coldly.
Rinoa felt frustration boil up, but she suppressed it. She needed to talk to him. "What's been going on with you lately?"
"What?"
"You've been so angry lately. It's not normal. What's going on?"
He sighed, "I'm fine."
"Squall…"
He turned around quickly and yelled, "I said I'm fine!"
She backed up a step, fearfully. "Okay, okay."
He closed his eyes, "I didn't mean to…"
"Let's just go." Rinoa said sharply, walking to the cabin.
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Selphie's friends arrived later that evening, when everything had calmed down. Squall and Seifer didn't speak the rest of the morning or the afternoon.
"Guys!" Selphie squealed, hugging the five people.
"Who're your friends?" Asked one girl.
"Oh!" Selphie smiled, "Guys, this is Irvine, Rinoa, Squall, Zell, Quistis, and Seifer."
She turned to the rest of the group. "And to you all, this is Celina, Sage, Emelia, Taneisha, and Francis."
"Nice to meet you." Said Quistis, politely.
Selphie led everyone into the living room, where they all sat and had a lively conversation. Squall pretended to enjoy it, but he hated the happiness. He'd never had friends like she had.
Sage sighed, "It was tough getting out here. Had to take some money from the folks. We were staying in our mansion in Balamb. You've been there, Selphie."
"You have a mansion in Balamb?!" Zell asked, surprised.
"Oh yeah. My folks are loaded. It's right by the mountains, I love it." Sage bragged.
After a few more minutes of bragging, Squall couldn't take it anymore. He stood up.
"I'm going to go take a walk." He said.
Rinoa started to rise, "I'll go with you."
"No." He replied, leaving the cabin once more.
Rinoa felt bad. The conversation went on, and Rinoa leaned to Zell. "Can I talk to you in private?"
Zell nodded. The two of them got up and went into a back room. Zell closed the door.
"What can I help you with?" Zell asked.
Rinoa looked at him pleadingly, "Zell, I need to know what is going on with Squall. You've known him for a long time."
Zell shrugged. "I dunno. He just gets like this sometimes."
"What do you mean?" Rinoa wondered.
"Well, there were times that he'd lock himself in his bedroom, and wouldn't come out for days. Likewise, he would sometimes leave and be gone for a week or more. I think he gets depressed." Zell replied.
"But why would he be depressed?" She asked.
Zell leaned against the wall, "Sometimes it just happens. It'll seem like everything's going right in his life, and he just crashes. I know he doesn't eat when he gets like that."
Rinoa folded her arms, "I wonder if that's what's wrong now?"
Zell looked at her, "Maybe."
"I wish he would just talk to me." Rinoa said.
Zell chuckled, "Rinoa, he's never had anyone to talk to before. Why would he start now?"
"What does that mean?" Rinoa asked, furrowing her brows a bit.
"It means that Squall doesn't talk to people. Think about it. He's always been alone, and he's used to dealing with things alone, even though he isn't good at it. Now that he has someone to talk to, he doesn't know how. He's never shared those feelings with anyone else. Imagine how hard that would be." Zell replied.
Rinoa sat quietly for a minute, thinking hard. Then, she hugged Zell and said a quick "Thanks," before bolting out of the cabin.
Zell shook his head, stunned. "Women…"
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Squall walked slowly through a snow-covered field outside of the cabin. He was relieved to get away. Everyone was too happy. Why couldn't he have that?
He wanted to just lay down and die sometimes. He could never do things right. How could Rinoa even stay with him?
He shoved his gloved hands into the pockets of his jacket. Behind him, he could hear someone running towards him.
Oh, great. He thought.
"Squall, wait up!" Yelled an exhausted Rinoa.
Squall sighed and stopped walking, allowing her to catch up.
"I told you not to come." He said.
"Well, I don't always do as I'm told, do I?" She replied, grinning.
It annoyed him, her giddy happiness. How could everyone be so happy? Life was miserable, how could they enjoy it?
"Earth to Squall." Rinoa giggled, bringing Squall out of his thoughts.
He rolled his eyes, "What do you want?"
Rinoa's happy mood faded. "Squall, what is the matter?"
"Why does everyone think something is wrong with me?" He yelled, "I'm fine, okay?"
Rinoa stopped walking, "You can't deny it forever, Squall. I can see it in you. Look, I'm here for you, I'm not an enemy! Talk to me! I hate seeing you like this."
He stopped walking a few feet in front of her. "How can you 'see it in me'?"
"You've been acting strange. I've never seen you so irritable and bitter. I know you can be mean, but this is not you." She said.
She could see it? Was he that transparent? She was right, something was wrong. But he'd never talked things out before.
Rinoa walked up to him and put a hand on his shoulder, gently. "Look, it isn't like you are easy to read. The others just think you've had a bad day. But, Squall, I feel it from you. I can hear it in the way you talk, I can see it in your eyes, and I can see it in your actions."
He didn't know what to say.
"Let's go sit somewhere, okay? I know you've never talked to anyone before about this. But I'd like you to try. Can you do that?" She pleaded.
Squall sighed, "Where can we go?"
She smiled and took his hand, leading him. She led him to the rental car they'd taken, which was still outside of the cabin. "I'll drive us out a ways, and then we'll be alone, okay?"
He shrugged and got into the car beside her.
The ride was quiet, and Rinoa was uneasy. Was she doing the right thing?
She stopped the car off an isolated road and parked. Looking at him she said, "Hey."
He looked at her, then looked at the floor of the car, folding his arms. "What?"
She smiled, "Don't be scared of me, Squall. You really can talk to me. I'm not going to tell anyone else or judge you."
He fidgeted. "You sound like a shrink."
She stuck her tongue out at him. "How would you know?"
"Trust me, I know."
She became serious and gently reached out to grasp his hand, "How?"
He sighed, "I was…sent to one by Garden."
She was surprised, but tried hard not to react. "Why?"
He shrugged, "They were worried because of…I don't know."
"I think you do." She prodded.
"It's stupid. I feel like a psycho talking about it." He admitted.
"It isn't stupid to me. And I know you're not crazy. You might feel like you are, but it isn't true. I know that feeling. And trust me, I know crazy people. You hang out with Seifer for a long time, especially, and you can see he's lost it."
Squall smiled a little. "Yeah, he is pretty crazy."
"See? So don't feel bad. Come on, tell me." She assured.
He took a deep breath, then continued. "It was after a stupid practice mission thing. I got hurt, and Dr. Kadowaki wanted to check me out to make sure I was okay. I was knocked out, so I had no chance to protest."
"And?" Rinoa asked.
"Well, she didn't see any problems from the mission, but she was worried by what she saw."
"There was something wrong?" Rinoa wondered.
"Well, I hadn't been eating much, so I was pretty skinny. And, there were a few…wounds." Squall replied.
"Wounds?" Rinoa asked. "Self-Inflicted?"
Squall nodded.
Rinoa took a deep breath in surprise, "Wow."
Squall shrugged, "It doesn't matter."
Rinoa punched him in the arm. "Nothing matters to you, does it?"
"Nope." Squall replied.
She moved closer to him. "So…what's going on now?"
"I…" He sighed, "It's…complicated. I don't really know."
"Well, life's looking up for you. And now, you're unhappy. Seems to be a cycle, huh?" Rinoa suggested.
"Yeah."
"Do you not like being happy?" She asked.
"I don't deserve to be happy." He said, not really thinking.
"That's it." Rinoa gasped.
He cocked an eyebrow. "What?"
"That's it. That's why you're so unhappy. You don't think you deserve to be happy." Rinoa realized.
He thought for a moment, then said, "Well, yeah."
"Why do you think you don't deserve to be happy?" She wondered.
"Look at me. I've never done anything right. All I do is bring people down, especially you." He mumbled.
"Oh Squall. You've had such a rough life. But you DO deserve to be happy." She said.
"For now, maybe. How long will it even last? I feel like I'm always going to be left by everyone." He expressed.
She leaned against him. "I don't know about the others, but WE will last. Squall, I'm not going to just leave you. I couldn't do it. Life would be empty without you. I promise that I will stay with you as long as I live. You're my first…love."
He paused in surprise. "What about Seifer?"
"I didn't love Seifer. I guess…I wanted to. I wanted there to be a reason for him to be a good guy. I didn't know what love was." She replied.
"Even with everything I've done to you? Even with the way I've acted? You…love me?" He asked.
She nodded. "Squall, think about it. You've saved my life a zillion times, and you've always been there. Sure, there have been fights and stuff, but that's normal. You've done so many good things to me."
"It just seems too good to be true sometimes. I'm scared I'll be left alone again." Squall admitted.
"You won't. Even if, for some reason, things didn't work out between us, I'd still stay with you." She said.
"Promise?"
She smiled. "I promise. Besides, you're my knight!"
Squall wrapped his arms around her and held her. "Thank you."
"No problem."
"Yes it is. Nobody has ever really tried to comfort me like you have. You're amazing." He replied.
She snuggled closer to him. "Thanks. You are too."
After a few moments of blissful silence he spoke. "Rinoa?"
She looked up at him a little. "Hmm?"
"I love you too." He whispered.
A/N: Awww! Sorry, I'm having a depressing month, so I really get a kick out of writing fluffy stuff. Hope you liked it.