Look at me
Chapter two: To think

-X-

Ishida simply stared. He couldn't believe half of the information he was being given, let alone process it. It seemed as though so much had happened in those small, two years that it could count as anybody's lifetime simply because the contents were so long.

Rukia had come to the world of the living, on a mission due to a high amount of spiritual pressure being emitted in their area. Because of that, she had stepped into Kurosaki's home and without realizing it—was caught due to the fact that Ichigo could see spirits and ghosts. Sometime afterwards; not too long though, a hollow had attacked Ichigo's home after she had tried to explain about hollows to him and began to destroy his house. Because of this, Rukia was injured trying to protect Ichigo and therefore had to give some of her powers to him. Although, somehow he had taken them all—which resulted in Rukia being sentenced to be executed in the soul society; a place where the soul reapers lived.

Somehow, that beginning ended up with them going to save her—why he tagged along, he would never know—them finding out it was really Aizen, a fellow captain of the soul reapers who was behind all of this and then had to go to Hueco Mundo afterwards when that very same captain kidnapped one of their friends, which he was later told was Orihime. Somehow, before that though—they didn't know what happened, but discussed how he had lost his powers while fighting another captain. He already knew the only way that could have happened, which means he had to have used Quincy, Letzt Stil in order to defeat the captain and therefore losing his powers in the progress.

Eventually, the lengthy story ended with Ichigo losing his powers, only to obtain them afterwards and have to defeat the ex-substitute soul reaper who Ichigo had taken's place. All very confusing for the archer, more so because none of them could tell him specifically how he had grown—but he got the gist of it, anyways. Well, at least—he thinks that he understood it.

Letting out a breath, he ran a hand through his hair as he glanced down at the book which sat in front of him on the table. It seemed as though the others cared for him more than he thought, because while he had been passed out and sound asleep, they had taken the time to write—from their own point of view, sections that involved him and everything that happened, so that he could read it and hopefully regain some of his lost memories. The action caused a small smile to tug at the corners of the Quincy's lips, and although it didn't help him regain any memories—he still thought that was considerate of them, and at least he knew the most of what he missed, now.

The only minor details that were missing were his point of view on all of this. How he had felt, how he had trained behind the scenes to regain his powers and not form just one new bow—but two. Rukia had been kind enough to sketch out how his old bow 'Ginrei Kojaku' had looked, and although it wasn't very accurate, some of them said, he did take notice of how it resembled a spider web. And now he had this new bow, one he had yet to test out—seeing as he was unsure how it would feel within his grasp, without the knowledge of him ever training to obtain it, or to use it.

He wanted to know so much more. He felt like a child who just begun to learn a new subject and wanted to know everything here was to know about it. And no matter how hard he tried to read through the contents of what they had written—nothing triggered a memory, nothing seemed familiar.

Shaking his head, another long breath escaped the archer as he closed his eyes and reached beneath his glasses. Using the pads of his fingertips to rub his sore lids, he smoothed his palm over his cheek before resting the side of his face onto his hand as he placed his elbow on the table. All this seemed useless; it hadn't triggered even the smallest spark of a memory, nor did it seem remotely familiar. He often wondered if this was some sort of joke, an experiment that the Shinigami were playing on him—but he knew the human's from his homeroom class. They couldn't have aged so quickly just to play some silly mind game on him… Could they?

No. He refused to believe that. If that was the case, how could they write such detailed information out of nothing? Well, they could have planned this ahead, he mused. But he doubted that was the case.

Crossing his legs from where he sat on the floor of the shop keeper's home, he glanced around the empty room as he chewed on the inside of his cheek. They had all left him alone to either bring his things back to his home for him, go to the soul society to try and come up with some sort of liquid concoction to help get his memories back—or they simply left for some odd reason that Ishida wasn't told about. Leaving him alone with this book, a large platter of food and plenty of water to drink to help nurse him back into good health. Surprisingly, even though he was out for the estimated week—he didn't feel any different, nor shaken up as most people would. In fact, he felt stronger somehow; but he supposed that would be because of the muscles he had gained in the two years he had lost.

His head snapped up quickly as he heard the sound of the door opening from somewhere behind him, and he slowly turned on the small cushion he was currently kneeling upon to glance towards the door. He could feel the hum of familiar reiatsu and instead of calling for the person, he rolled his eyes and shifted back into his previous position as he flipped a page in the book and continued to read. "What do you want, Kurosaki?"

The house remained silent for a moment, and he could tell the other had stopped in his tracks either because he was surprised that the archer was still there, that he was the only one there, or some other reason that Ishida was unaware of. Shaking his head once more, he simply smoothed his thumb and forefinger against the corner of one page as he tilted it upwards to read it at a better angle.

Stepping further into the house, the orange haired Shinigami allowed his shoulders to relax as he moved across the threshold and into the larger living room. Spotting the archer at one of the smaller tables on the floor, he shifted the bag he was currently carrying with him on his arm as his eyes raked over the boy's lithe frame from behind. He wasn't sure, exactly, as to how to answer the man's question. When he had ran home and stayed there for a bit—the thought had just popped up in his mind, and he began to take action immediately. Of course, he wasn't sure exactly how he was going to do it, or how he could get the Quincy to agree to come with him, but it was worth a try, he guessed. Guilt began to stir inside of him the more he stepped closer and the more the slight bulge from beneath the Quincy's shirt came into view. If Ichigo looked closely, he could see each individual wrap of the bandage that he had done himself in hopes that he could help out, even in the slightest, from beneath the archer's clothing. It was his fault after all, and he only wished that there was something he could do to make it up to the Quincy. And, there was. Well—there would be, if his plan would work.

Furrowing his brows as the Shinigami finally decided to move, the archer let out a soft breath once more and slowly closed the book that was laid out in front of him. Turning, only slightly this time, he glanced over his shoulder and looked up at the orange haired male as he raised an eyebrow and reached up to adjust his glasses. "Well?"

Rolling his eyes at the tone in Ishida's voice—Ichigo wasn't surprised in the least to see the archer still had somewhat of an attitude towards him, even with all memories of them together wiped clean from his mind. Closing the last bit of space there was between them, Ichigo leaned down and used his free hand to grip the archer's arm as he tugged him up quickly—forcing the teen to stand. "Come with me." Heading towards the door, he moved briskly so that the boy would have little time to react as they made their way through the shop keeper's home.

As his arm was tugged and he was pulled along with the other, the archer jumped slightly and sputtered as he quickly moved his legs to keep up with the others' fast pace. "K-Kurosaki!" Yelling the male's name, he reached up to adjust his glasses which had gone slightly skewed when he was lifted from his sitting position on the floor, the archer furrowed his eyebrows as he let out a quick breath and attempted to pull his arm away from the teenager's tight grip. "What do you mean, 'come with you'?" Noticing that they had stopped by the door, he stared dumbfounded for a moment before realizing that the other was giving him time to put on his shoes. Well, he wasn't going to until he was given an answer of some sort, or an explanation.

Looking over at the Quincy as he noticed Ishida halted and remained still quite stubbornly, Ichigo's eyebrows furrowed into his traditional scowl as he pointed towards the archer's shoes. "Just put your shoes on, alright? I'll explain after we get there!"

Glaring slightly, Ishida, somewhat reluctantly stepped forward and slid his feet into his shoes. "I don't want you to explain when we get there. How about you at least explain along the wa—" Ishida found that he was cut off. Once he had stepped into his shoes, regardless of the fact that he had a hurt arm, Ichigo simply opened the door and tugged him out and into another direction just as he had tugged the Quincy off of the floor, effectively cutting off the archer's words. Hissing as his shoulder throbbed in pain, he did take notice of the look on Ichigo's face as the teen's grip tightened on his arm. He felt the other slow down his pace as well, and stop for a moment, only to switch sides and grasp his better arm which wasn't injured.

"Sorry about that." Ichigo mumbled softly as he gazed down at the Quincy. He hadn't realized he gripped Ishida's left arm instead of his right, and even though he already felt immense guilt—he was beginning to feel even worse about it. Slowing his pace so that the archer could walk alongside him more easily, he headed towards a small opened field as he gripped the bag lightly in his hand.

"Its fine, Kurosaki…" Ishida spoke quietly as he let out a soft breath. Closing his eyes for a moment, he lifted his right arm which was in the teen's grip so that he could lightly massage his injured shoulder for a moment before dropping his hand to the side. Opening his eyes afterwards, he looked up at the teen as he tilted his head slightly. "Where are you taking me, Shinigami?" He snapped a bit, although he didn't mean to—though he supposed he did so due to the fact that the painkillers he had taken earlier were beginning to wear off. When he received no answer, his eyebrows creased once more in confusion and slight irritation as he let out a small, strained breath and shook his head. "You know, even though I've lost my memories—it doesn't mean that I will believe everything you've all said and told me. I still see you Shinigami as enemies, regardless as to what I may have thought before whatever… incident had occurred. So if you don't tell me, I'm afraid I am going to have to head in the other direction and not trust where you are leading me, Kurosaki."

After the archer had finished speaking, Ichigo stopped walking for a moment to glance down at the male. As chocolate irises met the Quincy's azure colored ones—Ichigo held the gaze for a moment before wordlessly breaking it and looking away as he began to walk once more; tugging the archer along with him.

"K-Kurosaki!" Ishida sputtered, shouting words of protest at the Shinigami as he was continuously dragged into a direction that of course, wasn't unfamiliar to him—however he had no idea as to why Ichigo was taking him there. In fact, once they stepped off of a miniature hill and into an open field—he simply blinked; staring, perplexed as his arm was released and he was allowed to step away from the other male. Walking around for a moment, he glanced around towards where the trees were situated—almost expecting this entire thing to be some sort of ordeal—testing him. And from within the bushes, Shinigami would pop up—seeing as he was so defenceless and weak at the moment, it wouldn't be as if they would have a hard time taking him down… As much as he hated to admit that, it was true.

Turning to face the orange haired teen who simply remained where he had previously stopped—a bag still in one of his hands as he gazed off to the side. Wondering if there was something in that direction instead, he began to move towards the teen—only to stop as Ichigo's head slowly turned to face him and their eyes met once more. Frowning as he gazed over the teen's expression and realized it was giving nothing away, he was the first to break the gaze this time as he looked in the direction Ichigo had been before he glanced at him. There was nothing there, simply the hill they had came down which lead them to the open field that they were standing in now. Allowing his shoulders to slouch in defeat, Ishida slowly folded his arms across his chest as his brows furrowed once more and his glasses began to slide partway down his nose. "Alright, I give up, Kurosaki. Why are we here? And spare me the awkward silence—just cut to the chase."

When Ichigo spoke, Ichigo had began to clench and unclench his fingers which were now clinging tightly to the bag he had brought with him. Sighing softly, he closed his eyes for a moment before looking back to the archer and lifting the pouch in his hand. "Well, this thing isn't really why we're here—but I figured if this scenery didn't work, than I could always show you this and hope that maybe it would trigger something…" Murmuring quietly to himself, he shook his head as an idea arose. "Wait—" Placing the bag down, Ichigo reached into his pocket and began to search for something. Grasping the small string which was attached to the item—he pulled out his substitute soul reaper badge as he held it up for a moment. "Don't get defensive, alright? I'm not going to try anything." When the Quincy's expression became somewhat confused, the Shinigami merely gave a small, half-smile before pressing the badge to his chest and going into spirit form—popping out of his body.

This of course, despite the teen's words caused Ishida to take a step back and quickly raise his hands. He didn't wish to draw his bow—however he knew he most likely did not stand a chance against Ichigo without it; due to the stories he had been told. And even if this was all some sort of trick that they all were playing on him—he didn't want to chance it. That, and a soul reaper was still a soul reaper—fists could not beat a sword.

"I said, 'don't get all defensive'." Despite the fact that this was a serious situation, Ichigo couldn't contain his amusement as a small hint of a genuine smile began to twitch the corners of his mouth, as well as the bright gleam he got in his eye as he shook his head and tried his best not to laugh.

"You say that, yet you are the one who is in the better position, don't you agree—Shinigami?" Ishida glared slightly as his hands clenched into small fists and he squared his shoulders so that he could maintain a better stance.

Frowning, Ichigo reached up and lifted both of his hands—waving the others' words off as he shook his head. "Hey, it's not like I have my weapon drawn. I just want to show you something, alright?"

"Correction, you don't have it drawn yet – and what could you possibly want to show me; the other end of your sword?" Eyes hardening, he took a step forward and quickly raised his leg—aiming a kick to the Ichigo's side as he grit his teeth.

Opening his mouth to retaliate—Ichigo found it useless as Ishida lunged. Scowling deeply, instead of blocking the kick and returning the blow like he normally would have—Ichigo simply grabbed the archer's leg— which was surprisingly hard, due to the amount of force Ishida had placed behind it; and pushed it quickly so that the Quincy's back was facing him and turned around, facing his own back to the archer's. "No, you idiot! This is what I wanted to show you." Removing his sword, he merely held it loosely in front of him; doing his best to control his reiatsu so that Ishida would not think he was going to attack him. However, he knew he was awful at controlling his spiritual pressure; always had been, always would be.

Blinking, Ishida glanced over his shoulder quickly as Ichigo's back pressed to his; and although he didn't turn immediately to aim another blow at the man, his shoulders and arms still remained tense as his breathing slowly began to pick up. He could almost hear the sound of his father's voice when they had trained with each other—telling him not to overexert himself unnecessarily—

Wait… When had he trained with Ryuken? A flash of a memory began to drift through the Quincy's mind; causing him to wince and press a palm to his forehead. He realized Ichigo must have heard this, because as he closed his eyes and clenched them shut tightly—he could feel hands touching the sides of his arms and a soft voice repeating his name.

He had… Trained with Ryuken, to obtain his powers again. That was right—it was an odd memory to regain, however he could see it clearly now. How Ryuken had taken him beneath the hospital, and into an underground training center—aimed countless arrows in his direction until he had finally given up and had been defeated; after that, he wasn't sure what had happened; but he supposed it did not matter because in the expansion of the memory he did have, he had blacked out afterwards and awoken sometime later with his powers intact. It surprised him how that one thought, this one simple action had caused such a spark in his memory—but he was thankful nonetheless and let out a shaky breath as he slowly began to open his eyes.

"Kurosaki…"

"Ishida?" Hearing the other speak his name caused him to lean his head over the archer's shoulder to get a better look at the raven haired teen's face. "Are you alright?" Hands tightening slightly before loosening his grip once more, Ichigo stepped around the archer so that he was facing the teen as he continued to watch the male's expression for any signs of pain. However, when Ishida's eyes opened and looked up at him in full—he hadn't expected the sudden content expression to grace the Quincy's features as Ishida smiled, if only slightly and almost unnoticeable—but a smile nonetheless. "…Ishida?"

"Whatever you did, Kurosaki—it caused me to remember something." Shaking his head, Ishida lightly smoothed his palm over his forehead before gliding it down to his cheek before resting his arm at his side. Eyes softening, he looked up at the teen only to notice Ichigo's shocked expression and quickly furrowed his brows. "Kurosaki?"

Snapping out of his thoughts as Ishida spoke, Ichigo's mind slowly began to click and make connections—processing what Ishida had said as he looked down at the other male. "You remembered something? Like—part of your memories?" Leaning a bit closer, he hadn't meant to start clenching onto Ishida's arms once more, but for some reason, he couldn't help it. "What was it? What did you remember?"

Blinking, Ishida lightly gritted his teeth before forcing out a small chuckle at the tone in Ichigo's voice. "You seem… Happier about this than I am." That sentence caused a light flush to form on the Shinigami's face in front of him—also making Ishida slightly confused as he raised a questioning eyebrow. However, he didn't voice any thoughts aloud as Ichigo slowly relaxed his grip on the archer's hold and pulled away; in fact, he remained silent for a couple minutes as he rubbed the sides of his arms and looked up at the Substitute.

"W-Well… You are my friend, you know?" Ichigo scowled slightly as he looked away. "You may not see me as your friend right now—or even admit it at all, with or without your memories; but I still consider you one of my friends. So… Of course I'd be happy that you remembered something." Mumbling the last few words, Ichigo let out a soft breath and closed his eyes before turning his head to face the archer once more and looked down upon the Quincy. "S-So… What did you remember?"

Opening his mouth to tell the other that, what he said was cheesy and stupid—the Quincy merely closed his mouth as the boy continued and relaxed his stance. He hadn't realized he was still tense from earlier, but as the other continued to speak—he realized how… Relieved he felt, after being brought here, getting into that situation which caused his adrenalin to rush—only to remember something in which he had forgotten. Really, if he would admit it aloud—he really did owe Ichigo for this. But he would say no such kind words until he found out from the other how he had lost his memories in the first place.

Shaking his head, Ishida looked up at Ichigo as he reached up and adjusted his glasses with his index finger; pushing them up the bridge of his nose. "Well, for some reason I remembered how I had regained my powers… Which, I am thankful for—considering no one could tell me how that happened, due to the fact that it was a more… Private, memory." Smiling a bit sheepishly, Ishida continued to gauge the others' expression as he spoke.

"…How you got your…" Ichigo trailed off slowly as he watched the Quincy. He wouldn't admit it—but he had actually brought Ishida here, directly—in hopes he could remember something about him. The faster he got Ishida to remember what had happened between them, the more likely it was that Ishida wouldn't be as upset with him for what had happened to cause him to lose his memories in the first place. That was why he chose here of all places. The exact place that he and Ishida had been forced to fight, back to back against the surrounding hollows due to the hollow bait Ishida had released. The place where they had first encountered a Menos Grande and Ishida had saved his life, even when the cost of his hands were so high. He was hoping Ishida would remember that all—that was why he had gone into spirit form to make it more realistic—even stood in the exact same spot and position, just hoping that it would trigger something, anything.

He supposed he shouldn't be disappointed, even though he actually was. Ishida was still remembering something of himself—which was best, so that he wasn't as skeptical of everyone else and could relax a bit more. Ichigo didn't know the feeling of forgetting one's memories; and he hoped he never would—however it didn't mean he couldn't guess. Yes, it was most likely irritating at times, scary and most likely confusing. That's why he should be happy that Ishida had regained such a memory, because it would make him feel better; right? Right. Although… This just meant that getting Ishida to trust him would have to wait a little longer. Not until he remembered significant things that had happened between them—could tell Ichigo that he didn't completely hate him; so that he could confess and finally get this sense of guilt off of his chest. He didn't want to bother Ishida now, while he had no memories and tell him—for he wasn't sure what sort of reaction he would get.

Anger, most likely. And that wasn't something that was healthy, nor safe for Ishida to feel while in his current situation.

"Kurosaki?"

Hearing his name being called, Ichigo blinked as he realized Ishida had actually been trying to get his attention for the last couple of minutes. Scowling, he gripped Ishida's wrist of the hand which was currently waving in front of his face, and set it down slowly as he glanced down at the archer. "Sorry about that, was spacing off."

"I could tell." Ishida said, slight amusement in the tone of his voice—despite the fact that his eyes were hard and still glaring in the slightest. "Now, as I said about five times as you were daydreaming—could you please lead us back to the shop; or do I have to go there myself? Knowing me, even though my memory is much worse than yours at the moment, I could find it a lot faster and get there quicker." Speaking somewhat smugly, Ishida adjusted his glasses as he turned and began to walking towards the hilltop.

Opening and closing his mouth, somewhat like a fish—Ichigo simply scowled deeper as he couldn't come up with anything to say. Turning quickly, he followed after the archer as the boy walked up the hill; and quickly moved back into his body, before setting his badge back into his pocket and his bag back onto his arm. As Ishida turned to face him, an eyebrow raised as he glanced down at the item Ichigo held—the Shinigami merely waved a hand with a small smile. "This was just in case you didn't remember anything here… I think that you've been through enough for today." When Ishida's mouth opened to protest, he reached forward and covered Ishida's mouth with his palm. "And I don't care if you want to remember as much as you can in one day, it's not healthy and in the back of your mind—I know you know that." As Ishida's brows merely furrowed and he narrowed his eyes; Ichigo felt no movement of the archer's lips against his hand, signaling his was speechless. So, slowly—he removed his palm from Ishida's face and grinned in the slightest as he began to move up the hill. "I'll show it to you tomorrow, alright?"

Staring for a moment, Ishida let out a soft breath as he closed his eyes. Adjusting his glasses once more, he began to follow after the Shinigami as they headed towards the shop, in another direction. Opening his eyes to watch the soul reaper who's hands were stuffed into the pockets on his jeans—Ishida's eyes couldn't help but wander to the bag as he frowned. Ichigo certainly had put a lot of thought into this, during the short period of time he had left the shop the other day. It made Ishida wonder just how badly the other had been to him—or just how responsible he was for Ishida's injury. And although he wanted to ask, for some reason he felt as though he was indebted to the male for bringing him here today—which made him not want to question things and wait patiently for tomorrow.

Letting out a soft breath, Ishida closed his eyes as he became drowsy and slightly light headed. He wished they would arrive at the shop soon; he really needed to take another pain killer. He hadn't noticed that he had been swaying slightly, until his shoulder brushed against Ichigo's and actually remained against it as he moved at a slower pace.

"Ishida?"

He could hear the sound of Ichigo's voice—but not entirely register it as his name. Mumbling a soft "Hm?" As his eyes fluttered partway open, he glanced up as much as he could to look over at Ichigo while his head lulled to rest on the teen's shoulder. Instead of receiving an answer, he felt the world leave his feet as he was suddenly lifted in the air—although he didn't know why. But somewhere, in the back of his mind, something was telling him that Ichigo had picked him up and was taking him towards his room at the shop, where he would be placed on his bed. And although he so badly wanted to protest to this, and get up and walk on his own—he found he had no strength to do so, and simply remained in place. He didn't know when, exactly, he had fallen asleep in Ichigo's arms. All he could remember was how his last thought had been how he truly owed Ichigo, and would make it up to him somehow; whether he wanted to or not.

-X-

To be continued.