Disclaimer: Seriously. DEAMEANING.

Author's Note: MOAR R3L1GI0N~ And moar dialogue. :D

Warnings: SebaCiel implications. I should also probably mention that each edition of the Bible has the same passages rewritten in different ways, so these quotes may not match what appears in your scriptures.

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Genesis

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18:3

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"The preparations for this evening's party have been completed, my lord. Are they to your satisfaction?"

"That remains to be seen. Walk me through these 'preparations.'"

"As you command. To begin, I decided upon the night's menu: the meal will start with hors d'oeuvres of quails egg and lamb, followed by a light supper of rolled cabbage and potato mint salad. Dessert will consist of crème brule and violet pudding, depending on our honored guests' preferred taste."

"Bard will have a field day, I'm sure."

"Not to worry, young master. I have long-since finished the cooking. He will merely have to reheat the meal."

"…"

"I have also confiscated his flamethrower."

"Alright then. Continue."

"Yes, sir. With dinner plans complete, I took it upon myself to clean each room of the manor, just in case a wayward visitor might wander off and find themselves someplace they do not belong. But more importantly, I bedecked the ballroom in all manner of opulence: tasteful ribbons of cream silk, candelabras of polished silver, bouquets of white roses and lilac, freesia and sweet pea."

"That should keep Lizzie appeased, at least."

"Indeed. The young master will also find that the grand chandelier has been adorned in a number of teardrop-diamonds, which dangle from the golden rungs as elegant icicles. Once the candles have been lit, they will glisten most impressively—like stars against the high ceiling. Below, the marble floor has been scrubbed to a shine, and gilded chairs have been placed in the far corner to be used by the orchestra I've hired. As for your fellow gentry, a number of mahogany tables have been prepared for periodic refreshment; obviously, said tables have been draped in sheets of pale blue velvet, in order to maintain our pastel color scheme. Likewise, our finest flutes of crystal have been taken from storage, and arranged in a decorative way… to remain until the champagne is properly chilled. No one will dare question the young master's wealth or sophistication upon seeing this striking display."

"It sounds fairly gaudy."

"You have my assurance that it is not, my lord. Please try to refrain from judgment until you have seen the room for yourself."

"Whatever. Have you more to report?"

"Just a few final details, my lord. I have instructed the rest of the staff to dress themselves in their best clothes, and have locked— that is, asked them to please kindly stay within their quarters until the ball begins. As for our honored guests, they have all sent letters promising to arrive within the hour. There is nothing left to do but help you into your own finery, young master."

"Very good."

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…is there something else you wish to say, Sebastian?"

"I was merely wondering… have my actions pleased you, my lord?"

"I beg your pardon? Making such arrangements is a part of your job; I expect you to do them, and that is that. It is not a matter of 'pleasing' me or not."

"Oh, but of course it is! Young master, everything that I do, I do in the hopes of pleasing you. And yet, so rarely do my actions garner even the faintest hint of gratitude…"

"…you can't possibly be serious."

"I am always serious, young master."

"Is that so?"

"Most certainly. I would never dare make light of a situation as dire as this."

"…very well, then, Sebastian. I'll reward you for your hard work. In fact, I'll reward you quite handsomely— but only if you deserve it."



"My lord?"

"Let's make a game of this, shall we? I will shower you thoroughly in… let's say, "gratitude,"… if you manage to please me before this blasted party starts."

"My my, what an intriguing notion. But of course, I accept your challenge, and I greatly anticipate my inevitable reward. Now, in what way shall I please you, young master?"

"Oh… let's see if you can't come up with an idea whilst helping me into my suit."

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"My Lord, if I find favor with you, do not pass by your servant."

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