Dearest Diary,

Each day blurs into the next. Each day is all the same to me. I awake, I dress, I make my daily announcement to the people of Earth, I polish my death ray, I watch my soaps, I find a reason to knock over Lonzak and then I topple back into bed.

At least today we are having our semi-annual, mostly mandatory Chaotica Cheer Parade for Chaotica Cheer Day. It's really less of a gift for me and more for the people. They need a chance to bond with their leader and enjoy my magnificent power on almost their lowly level. Women may faint. Men may swoon. But it is a tradition I must uphold for the good of the people.

I must leave you for my final robe fitting with my wardrobe slave, Geoffrey. He seems like a kind fellow. His hands are rarely cold and he pretends not to notice when he walks into my semi-weekly masculine crying session.

Farewell for now dear Diary and Happy Chaotica Cheer Day!

You're Welcome,

Chaotica