Adam couldn't stand the atmosphere anymore, so he persuaded Hazel and Gerry to join him for a cup of vile hospital tea in the canteen downstairs, so that Aaron could have some time alone with Jackson, which he was surprisingly thankful for, although he felt awkward and had no idea what he was going to say, or why he was even saying it, it wasn't like he could hear him.
"This is so weird. I'm never the one usually doing the talking. I don't even know if you can hear me. The doctor said you probably could, which is why your mum hasn't stopped nattering for the past three no make that four days, not that I blame her. You have to wake up so I can tell you I'm sorry. And before you ask what for I guess it is for everything. If I'd explained myself better, been able to tell you what I feel for you face to face you wouldn't be laying here. So you can wake up now. Even if it is to tell me to leave. Jackson we've been through so much. You have changed my life. If I'd never met you I'd be a complete mess, not that you can see much difference, but I would have been in prison or dead by now, just ask my mam or Paddy. You have stopped me throwing my life away, shown me that it is okay to be myself, to be honest and to care for another person. For the first time someone has shown they care for me and it's scary, but I want to show you I feel the same and I do. I may not be able to say those words right now, but I am trying to work it out. I wouldn't want to go back to how things were, because if I lost you…I think I'd die. It's funny how this is so much easier to say when you're not talking. But I need you to wake up to hear what I'm saying. I may act tough and often I get things completely screwed up and I have hardly been a great boyfriend, but you are still here and I can change. I don't want to lose you. Please tell me it isn't too late? I know you've heard it all before, but the truth is I can't go back. I don't want to. I need you. I don't want anyone else, you were wrong about me needing to play the field, which isn't what I meant anyway. I know how I feel I just need you to believe me. I'm not going to leave you no matter what happens. I'm in this forever, because…because I…lo…lo-"
Seems like yesterday
I was thinking something so good couldn't come my way
I was comfortable just sitting being all alone
But now I know..
I can't ignore what my heart is telling me
Yeah, I know I'm a little past due
After all that I've been through
Break ups, and make ups, and mistakes
And heartaches, but that ain't you
I wanna sho' improvement
So what do you want to do?
Kissing and hugging and touching
I ain't gon' lie to you
I can't turn back now
Got me in over my head
I'm in too deep
Please show me how
How to love you the way that you need me
I can't turn back now
I've come too far with you baby
I can't leave
So don't let me down
I wanna follow wherever you lead me
Honestly, I wouldn't trade a minute of me bein' with you
With nothing in the world cos when you look at me
I can't breathe ..
Can't nothin' ever stop me from me lovin' you
Baby you are the truth.
Feeling completely useless still unable to say exactly what he was feeling, Aaron squeezed his hand briefly before leaving the room. How could he stay when all this was his fault? How would he be able to face him when he came round? If he came round.