February 8, 2011
She came to the kissing booth, just like I knew she would. She paid me a dollar. I kissed her…on the cheek. I know, I know, really stupid. But I have to settle this thing with Quinn first. She got kind of riled up—you know, she's kind of hot when she's like that—and I took her aside and she kind of broke down and told me she was still in love with me and cared about me and stuff. What I wanted more than anything else was to just kiss her for real—no dollar needed—and pick up things where we left off. But that's not how we should do it. There are things about the both of us that we need to change before we can get back together. I…I'm not exactly sure what, but I know there are. Otherwise, we wouldn't have broken up, right?
Anyway, I gave her the present I was saving since Christmas. The star necklace one. Her eyes kind of lit up when she saw it and I put it on her and I told her I'd always believe in her. She still looked kind of sad, but hopeful, I don't really know. She walked away after that.
Then I freaking caught mono from Santana (I think) and Quinn caught it from me. Oh, yeah, we kissed again. Me and Quinn. Well, me and Santana too, but that was for kissing booth purposes. She never actually paid me a dollar, though…okay. But Quinn and I, we actually might have made out…a little. It was kind of hot, though. We kissed at the booth before, but Sam was watching, even though there were still fireworks.
So I'm sick at home, but after Quinn got picked up by her mom or whatever, Rachel visited me. I woke up and she was standing there like the freaking angel she was. And she was going on about how Quinn was prettier than her, and I told her she was beautiful, but she didn't buy it. She asked me if I felt something more with Quinn and I was honest with her, so I said yeah. Then she asked me the same for her. First of all, I wasn't sure if she meant our kissing booth "kiss" or other kisses we've had. Because there aren't many sparks in a peck on the cheek, but there were definitely some (in my pants, especially. But let's not tell anyone about my little difficulty, right?) Other times. But I was hesitating and she took it the wrong way and I was this close to telling her I loved her, but she just said she was through and then stormed off.
I freaking lost her, didn't I? Damn it, what am I supposed to do now that she's apparently all independent and stuff?
Still not a diary.