If Not for Your Brother, Then for Me

by 2nd-chanced

After Dean tells Sam that he tricked him into letting an angel possess him, he becomes so overrun with guilt that he wants to end it all. Cas tells him to stay for Sam, that he will be forgiven eventually. But what if that's not enough to keep Dean from suicide? What will Cas do if he can't convince Dean to keep living for Sam? WARNING: thoughts of suicide

2. Chapter 2

Forgot to put it in the first chapter, but here is the Disclaimer. I do not own Supernatural or any characters, but this interpretation is all my own.

Castiel called Dean nearly every other day after the bridge incident. It put Castiel at ease just hearing Dean's voice and his breathing, and he knew it made Dean feel better knowing that he cared and that Sam was improving with each call.

At some point, the calls stopped being made because Cas was worried that Dean would try to end his life, but he continued calling him because it made him feel comforted with not being able to be there for Dean physically. He stopped updating on Sam once he was fully recovered; he didn't even tell Dean when Sam had finally went out on a case. Which, as it turns out, was not a good idea.

When Sam and Dean first ran into each other when working Garth's case and decided to work it out together, things looked like they may start to look up. Maybe this was what they needed, because working cases together always seemed to bring the brothers closer together, Castiel thought. Dean actually started calling Cas, telling him about his concerns about the werewolf pack and Garth. After they would hang up, Cas would think to himself that everything would be alright again.

That is, until Sam came back to the bunker. Without Dean. When Castiel asked, Sam said that he was still mad, but had offered to work as partners with Dean. Dean refused, though, so he came back alone. As soon as Castiel heard this, he practically ran to his room where his phone was on the charger. He called five times before Dean finally answered. He was drunk and possibly crying, and it frightened Cas to the point of shedding his own silent tears.

"Hey, Cas. I, uh, I can't do it anymore. I know you Sam would forgive me in time, but I don't think so. Not this time. You didn't see how he looked at me the entire time we worked that case; it was almost like he was afraid to turn his back to me. He resents me, Cas, and I just can't deal with that. He said we couldn't be brothers anymore, not if we wanted to work together. So I told him to go, so I can die his brother and not just his untrustworthy partner." There was so much pain in his voice that Cas could actually feel it through the phone. He wanted to beg Dean, to say anything, but he knew he wouldn't listen; at least, not over the phone.

So he said the only thing he could. "Dean, tell me where you are. I need to tell you something, and I don't want the last thing you hear me say to come from a phone line." Dean told him he was at a hotel only thirty miles from the bunker, and he would only wait until midnight. Then he hung up, leaving a stunned Castiel frozen with fear.