A/N: This chapter is dedicated to cheyennesunrise (for the "Finch-centric"!)
Chapter two: Harold
He woke up in the middle of the night, exhausted again like an infinite loop. He couldn't tell what hurt the most: his heart aching from being alone, his body tired from too many sleepless nights, or his restless mind leaving him no peace.
Bear always licked his hand when he sensed that Harold was awake. He had felt so alone in those first weeks that he had allowed the dog to stay in bed at his feet, and since then Bear had continued to stay there each night. Harold remembered the last look he had exchanged with John and he couldn't help but feel haunted by it. He knew how hard it would be to be alone again, but he never figured on feeling lonely like this.
Harold just laid there quietly for some minutes waiting for the pain to be over, and tried to get back to sleep. He had now been living his irrelevant life as a senior employee of a little art gallery in Staten Island for six months now, and he had adjusted to it very quickly. Harold always had a soft spot for all sorts of art and he was on good terms with his boss Catherine, an elderly woman who received enough financial support from her husband to manage the shop as a personal hobby. Tom, who picked her up every evening after work, came to friendly terms with him as well after realizing that Harold was in no way interested in Catherine. It felt good to have a chat with them after work from time to time in a bar or a restaurant, although Harold tried not to delve deeply into personal issues. And they were more than enthusiastic about Bear - who Harold brought to the shop every day - because he was such a well-behaved dog. Tom even added that he ensured the safety of the shop.
The consistency of every day walks to the shop with Bear, and of opening and welcoming customers helped him a lot in those days. Although he didn't return to his tailored three-piece suits, he came in corduroys and a vest and changed his glasses to small rimless spectacles. He always stayed polite and interested and proved to be quite a good art advisor, which earned him a lot of compliments from Catherine. But furthermore, he was silent and reserved so the others realized that all he wanted was to have some peace and quiet, and nobody bothered him with more personal questions. (And changing the topic to Bear was always a very good option!)
But Catherine saw the loneliness and the sadness that shimmered through him. She tried to give him a free afternoon once a week but Harold politely resisted. Then she changed tactics to Bear and asked him if he wouldn't like someone who would walk the dog so that he could relax a little bit more. Little did she know that for Harold the working hours were a deliberate and welcome distraction from the recent disasters with Samaritan and especially with Grace. Even the walks with Bear along the busy streets back to his small house helped. But he understood that Bear was desperate to run along with other dogs in a big park, so after a month he gave in to Catherine's advice and accepted her recommendation of a dog walker. Henry, a young college student, was more than happy to take Bear along with the three poodles and two Chihuahuas he already supervised, and he told Harold with great enthusiasm how pleasant it was to run with Bear through the park. He earned one of Harold's rare smiles and Catherine was happy that her suggestion had worked out so well. She realized that Bear meant a lot to his owner, although she sensed that the dog was not originally his in the first place.
The months went by and Harold came to like his routine and the very slow relief that came along with it. His paranoia stayed with him but he tried to accept this time as a recovery period that his battered body and soul really needed - he just couldn't get used to his strong feeling of loneliness. All the conversations were nothing in comparison to his simplest moments of understanding with John. He had lost a dedicated and loyal friend, the likes of which he had never known before. He missed him so much that he sometimes thought his heart would stop beating. And Bear was a constant reminder too of what he had truly lost - and had never told John. A longing for John overtook him step by step until he was not in control anymore, like a storm rising.
A storm that would be triggered by Bear.