Things They Wouldn't Say Part 2
Eragon Style
Eragon: Avada Kadabra…oops, wrong movie!
Eragon (To Ajihad): When was the last time this volcano erupted?
Eragon(To Murtagh): Of course I will give you back your father's sword. It was tacky anyways.
Eragon: Yes! I am the son of Morzan.
(Finds out he is actually the son of Brom)
Eragon: Aww…I wanted to be a rebel!
Eragon(In Dragon vision): You always see like this?
Saphira: Only when I'm high!
Eragon(To Durza): What's with the costume? It's not Halloween yet!
Saphira: I like big butts and I cannot lie…
Saphira(Singing to Eragon): I can't get you out of my head…
Saphira: I have a brother whose name is Puff the Magic Dragon. He lives by the sea.
Saphira: Eragon, your flying ticket has expired
Saphira: I am not a taxi sevice!
Brom: How do you confuse a blonde?
Eragon: Hey! Watch it!
Brom: I'm bored…
(Eragon goes to wake up Brom)
Brom: Five more minutes…No! I don't want to ride the pony…
Nasuada: Bye, I'm off to Macy's!
Nasuada(To Arya): We are totally like sisters! Let's have a sleepover!
Ajihad: I think the Twins are bipolar
Ajihad: Eragon, Saphira, you are invited to my barbeque this Sunday.
Murtagh: Eragon, are you going to ask Arya out, because if you're not, I will.
Murtagh: I want my mommy!
Murtagh(To Eragon): Let's play some Guitar Hero.
Angela: Twins, wanna double date?
Angela: It's not a toad, it's the Frog Prince!
Solembaum: looks at a female cat Meow!
Arya: Ouch! I broke a nail!
Arya: I'm so hungry I could eat a horse!
Solembaum: Why wasn't I in the movie?
Katrina: I am with Solembaum, why wasn't I in the movie either?
Roran: I'm off to join the Navy!
Roran: I'm on a boat!
Durza: I'm thinking about dying my hair again.
Durza: What color contacts should I get this time? These red ones are killing me!
Durza: Eragon, want to come over to my place and play some chess?
Durza: I don't want to go to rehab!
Durza(To Arya about the dragon's egg) Give it to me!
Arya: That's what she said!
Galbatorix: Eragon, want to be my heir to the throne?
Galbatorix: I am gay with Durza
Galbatorix: I am neither a King or a Dragon Rider…I am actually a plumber!
Galbatorix: I'm tired of ruling Alagaesia. I think I will surrender to the Varden.
Galbatorix: I voted for Obama...oh! Wait…
Hrothgar: I'm not short, I'm fun size!
Hrothgar (To Eragon): How's the weather up there?
Twins: Mind probing is so mean. We should stop doing that.
Airplane Spoof:
Arya(To Eragon): I just want to say, good luck, we're all counting on you!
Twilight Spoof:
Eragon: Say it. Say it out loud.
Arya: Dragon Rider.
Eragon: Are you afraid?
Arya: No.
Eragon: Yo, Arya, can I have your number?
Lord of the Rings Spoofs:
Solembaum: The one Dragon Rider to rule them all.
(Eragon and Murtagh are busy counting how many men they kill at the Battle of Farthen Dur)
Eragon: 25
Murtagh: 23
Eragon: 26
Murtagh: 24
(Eragon kills Durza)
Murtagh: That still only counts as one!
Angela(To Eragon): Who is small, ancient, and likes to follow people around?
Eragon: Smeagol?
Angela: rolls eyes No Solembaum!
Queen Islanzadi: Arya, who is this Legolas?
Womanizer rip off:
Angela: Dragon Rider fli-i-ies way up in the sky-y-y Whoo! He's all so charmin' Whoo! All so charmin'
Of Mice and Men rip off:
Galbatorix: I want to tend them rabbits
Man in the Iron Mask rip off:
Brom: All for one, and one for all…oh! Wrong movie.
Pink Panther rip off:
Eragon(To Ajihad): I never see you with women.
Ajihad: I'm married
Eragon: You are not wearing a ring
Ajihad: To protect her
Family Guy rip offs:
Nasuada(singing a rip off of Peter Griffin's Song) I am Nasuada, I am very rich. I like stalking Eragon and dressing like a douche!
Arya(To Eragon after a night out): You pay me now?!
Angela(To Eragon after she read his fortune): Where's my money?!
Eragon: I want the red dragon.
Brom: yells You're getting blue!
George of the Jungle rip offs:
Eragon(To Saphira): Watch out for that tree!
Saphira crashes
Spongebob spoof:
Eragon: Come on Brom, sing the Campfire Song with me!
Brom: Oh, all right. C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E S-O-N-G Song…
Monty Python Spoof:
Angela: Eragon, you must seek the Holy Grail!
Eragon: crying
Arya: Why are you crying?
Eragon: Brom's dead!
Brom: I'm not dead, yet!
Eragon: Yes you are!
Brom: No I'm not!
(Eragon stabs Brom. Brom dies.)
Eragon: See, he's dead!
Christopher Paolini spoofs:
Eragon(To CP): Can Arya please fall in love with me already?
Arya: I love you Eragon
Eragon: CP, now you are just showing off!
Brom: Why did you have to let me die, CP?!
Veggie Tales rip off:
Galbatorix: Oh where is my hairbrush?
Sweeney Todd rip off:
Toby(To Galbatorix): Try Pierelli's miracle elixir…
James Bond rip off:
Roran: The names Stronghammer. Roran Stronghammer.
(Eragon sneaks around Gil'ead, "Secret Agent Man" playing in the background)
Eragon: Stop it with the theme music, it'll blow my cover!
Nim's Island rip off:
Arya: Are you all right Eragon?
Eragon(Before the Battle of Farthen Dur): No, I'm only having a nervous breakdown!
CSI spoof:
Twins(Singing the CSI theme song): Who are you? Who who?
Eragon: You know who I am! I am Eragon the Dragon Rider, you nimrods!
Charlie the Unicorn rip off:
Brom: Let's go to the Varden, Eragon!
Saphira: Yeah, Eragon, let's go to the Varden!
Eragon: There's no Varden, ok!
Brom: Shun the non-believer
Saphira: Shun!
Star Wars rip off:
Arya: Aren't you a little young to be a Dragon Rider?
Eragon: Fine, stay her and rot you stuck up bitch!