A/N: Thank you all so much for the positive reviews. I'm a bit shocked by how many people told me they too have been bullied or still are. I just want to say that in the end, you are the strong one. Trust me, you will be worth so much more after all of it. When I was 12, I was a victim of bullies and violence myself, all the way until I was 17. I've cried myself to sleep more times than I can count and vacations where practically my reason for living. I'm 27 now, and the insecurity stays, as do the emotional scars. But in the end I married one of the cool guys from school and we have two beautiful kids together. If I would have known that back then, it maybe would have been different. So be strong and just know that you are not the only one! If anyone feels the need to talk a little more, PM me! Together you are stronger than them.
This chapter contains violence, so be aware. I might post another chapter today, so keep looking out for it. Enjoy! xx
Chapter 2: I survived.
"And please, don't forget to empty your lockers. We don't want to find old lunch meals while you are all enjoying your summer." Mr. Deidrick says, trying really hard to be heard over the noise of students who are yelling that they are finally having summer vacation.
The bell just went off for the last time this school year and to say I'm relieved is an understatement. I am ecstatic. I made it through the last four weeks and in about 48 hours I will be sitting on a plane that will take me away to Italy, far away from Leila, Lisa, and Susanna.
The last few weeks have been hell. I can't find another word to describe it. The harassments and name calling got worse. Leila spread around rumors about me, which the whole school obviously believes. She told everybody that I was offering my body, so I would have guys to protect me. Even though the rumor itself is stupid and unbelievable, there where boys coming over to me to ask what I could offer them. When I ignored them, they got mad and made fun of me.
Lisa put bubblegum in my hair, so close to my head that I had to cut it out. She thankfully put it in my neck, so you don't really notice that there is missing a string of hair. And of course, the same old things never stopped. My chair has been pulled away from under me countless of times, even when the teacher was present. They always do it at a moment when the teacher has his or her back towards the class. Of course, I don't tell them who does it, so every teacher now thinks I have trouble with sitting on my chair properly.
They also keep pulling my backpack when I'm walking the stairs, which makes me lose my balance. The fact that I can get seriously injured doesn't seem to bother them at all. And on every wall in every toilet around the school are written horrible things about me. I didn't even read all of them, because they make me sad. 'Ana knows how to work a Banana', 'Anastasia Slut' and 'For books and fucks: Ana Steele' are a few examples of what covers the wall.
But, this is the last day for a while. Because after today, I have eight weeks of peace. No school, no pain and no harassment.
"Ana, do you have a moment?" Mr. Deidrick asks when I walk past his desk, making me jump for just a second. The last few weeks I've have watched over my shoulder the whole day. My body is unbelievably tense. It is truly exhausting to be scared and feel unwanted all the time.
"Sure." I smile. I've always liked Mr. Deidrick. Maybe it is because he teaches English literature and composition, which is my favorite class. But mostly it is because he is always very easy going. His class is one of the few classes where I feel comfortable, also because Leila and her gang are not taking them.
"I just wanted to compliment you on your essay about Tess of the D'Urbervilles. You have a way of working with words that is very unique. You should do something with that talent, Ana." He says while scanning my essay that is laying in front of him.
"Thank you. I had fun writing it. It is an amazing book and my favorite since I got it from my mom and dad." I tell him. I'm happy he appreciates my essay since I've put a lot of work into it.
He smiles and nods his head in agreement. "I agree. The book is great. I look forward to seeing what you come up with next year."
"I will try my best to live up to the expectations." I giggle.
"I have no doubt you will. Enjoy your two months of freedom."
"Thank you, Mr. Deidrick. You have a nice vacation too." I smile and walk through the doors. These are the things about school I do like. The fact that people appreciate the work I deliver. It makes me feel a little bit better about myself, knowing that there is at least one thing I'm good at.
With the smile still on my face, even though my head is down, I walk around the corner where I instantly feel like I've bumped into a wall. The voice that I hear right after the impact, unfortunately lets me know that it wasn't a wall I bumped into.
"Well, well, well. What did Mr. Deidrick tell you that got you all smiley happy?" Leila asks, her finger against her lip while she looks me up and down.
I don't answer and just stay still. Even if I would answer the question she just asked me, she wouldn't listen. She isn't interested in me or what I do. She is only interested in making me feel horrible and scared.
"Oh, I know!" Lisa giggles while she strokes my hair like I am her pet. "You have a little crush on your teacher, don't you?"
My eyes widen. Is she crazy? The man is just as old as my dad. I would never have a crush on him. I simply enjoy his classes.
"Really?" Susanna smirks, also studying me for a moment. "Is that the reason why you have such good results, Ana Banana? Are you giving him something in return?"
My stomach turns around at the thought. How does she even come up with this nonsense? I look at the three of them and see them giggling like Susanne just told a very funny joke. I look around to see if there is a teacher I can go to, but the whole hallway is empty.
"Did you give his school year a happy ending, Ana?" Leila asks now, her face really close to mine.
I can only shake my head. What do you say when someone implies something like this? And what do you say when nothing is good enough? Nothing I say will make them stop. They are just getting started.
"Anyway Ana that knows how to work a Banana, we are here because we wanted to wish you a good vacation, properly. We know you probably are going to miss us, so we wanted to give you a reminder of us." Leila continues, completely in her element.
I look at them, fear washing over me. What are they going to do now? I can't let something happen again. They don't have the right to hurt me.
I look behind the three of them, at the doors that lead outside. If I am quick, I might make it outside. I know that they won't hurt me there. There are too many students that can see, probably even a few teachers that invigilate.
I take a deep breath and look at my shoes. I just have to be quick. Count and run.
The moment my feet start to move, my heart starts to beat like a maniac. My legs are running like my life depends on it, which is a little closer to the truth then I care to admit. The door is coming closer and for a moment I think I'm going to get away with this. But then I feel feet in front of my own, making me trip and fall on the floor, face first.
"I really thought you weren't that stupid." I hear Leila mumble before I feel a sharp pain in my stomach, near my hip.
I can hear Lisa and Susanna laughing. "Kick her back, Lei. To even the pain out a bit." Susanna giggles.
A moment later I feel her foot kick my lower back. I try to brace myself for the next one, expecting it on my body as well, but the three of them have other plans.
"Come on, Banana. Stand up." Lisa tells me while grabbing my hair and forcefully pulling me from the floor. Tears are streaming down my cheeks, the pain in my lower belly hurts so much, I don't even feel her pulling my hair.
"Did we made you cry, sweetheart? So sorry. Here, have some napkins." Susanna hisses before pushing so many napkins into my mouth, I gag.
Leila is watching me, a content smile on her lips like it gives her peace to see me like this. Lisa is only giggling, obviously enjoying every single thing to the fullest. And Susanna's eyes are burning holes in my face. Of all three of them, she scares me the most, by far. Something that she probably would be very proud of if she knew.
"One more thing, Ana Banana." Leila whispers close to my face. "This is only a little taste of what is waiting for you, next school year."
She lifts her fist and places it on my eyebrow with so much force, my glasses are falling off my nose in the process. My hands immediately go to the place above my eye and I instantly feel the warm blood running down.
It only makes the three of them laugh harder. Susanna pushes another napkin in my hand, probably so I can stop the bleeding. If they didn't cause the wound, I would think it was a nice gesture.
"We will miss you. Have a good vacation." Leila giggles before the three of them walk away. They probably see me fall on my knees, but they don't care. They are off home to enjoy their freedom. They don't care about me, at all.
After a moment I manage to get myself into the restroom. When I look into the mirror, I see I have a cut in my eyebrow, which is bleeding very bad. Thank god nothing else is broken in my face. My glasses are still intact as well, so at least I can get home without being almost blind.
I try to stop the bleeding with paper towels, in which I eventually succeed. With some water I clean off the blood from my face. I don't bother lifting my shirt, I will check out the damage when I get home. Because right now I just want to get away from here.
I want to go home, where my mom and dad are waiting for me. Where I can finish packing my suitcase and then have a shower to wash these horrible events of off me.
Those eight weeks couldn't come at a better time.
The moment I walk through the door, I hear giggling from the kitchen. It's my mom's giggle, and it always seems to make me smile. I dump my bag and coat on the floor and then walk into the kitchen.
There I find my mom sitting on the counter, with dad in between her legs. Dad is kissing her neck, which is what makes her giggle. Thank God they both still have their clothes on. Even though you don't want to see your parents like this, I'm happy they still love each other this much after all those years.
The moment dad looks up from mom her neck, he spots me, standing in the doorway. His face goes from happy to worried into a nanosecond, and I briefly wonder what is wrong. But then I'm reminded off what happened at school and how I probably look right now. I need to think fast here.
"What happened to you, Annie?" Dad asks while running over to where I am standing, immediately inspecting my face when he is close enough.
"I fell, just outside the door. I missed a step." I manage to get out, tears streaming down my face. It doesn't matter though, they will think it is because I hurt myself.
"Oh, sweetheart." I hear my mom mumble before she pulls me into a hug. A loving, caring, strong hug.
Dad peels her of off me a few seconds later and inspects my eyebrow again. "Are you hurt anywhere else?"
I just shake my head no, my head bowed down. I don't dare to look at them. I am afraid they will see that I'm lying. My mom never really saw it, but my dad has a nose for those things. He always could tell when I wasn't speaking the truth when I was little. I have no idea if he still can, but I'm not taking the risk.
"Let me help you get that clean." He mumbles before going to the kitchen and grabbing the small first aid kit.
"I'm so clumsy." I mumble, trying to convince them a little more I really tripped.
My mom lets out a giggle. "That's okay, sweetie. You are just like me. We are both clumsy, but that can be cute. We don't love you any less."
It makes me smile. She sounds so proud of the fact that I'm like her. That I look like her and that we are both clumsy. It makes me feel a little less horrible, knowing that she is proud of me and to hear her tell me they love me.
"Let's fix this baby up." Dad says while walking towards me, in his hands some alcohol and band-aids.
I close my eyes and let dad help me. I trust him to make it better just like he did when I was a little girl. He would always fix me up when I hurt my knees, elbows or even if I had a bloody nose. And after he helped me I always got chocolate, because I was so brave. I hope he remembers that as well.
"There we go. Like new." Dad smiles before kissing my forehead. "How about some chocolate?" He grins.
I giggle through my tears and nod my head.
He remembers.
After I had tea and chocolate with mom and dad, I told them I would go upstairs to pack the last things for Italy and take a shower.
I have just finished packing, which was really easy because all I need is some shorts, shirts, and bikinis. I'm so happy we are going to Europe. Not only because of the sightseeing, but also because I don't know anybody there. Nobody will recognize me or make fun of what I wear. Nobody will laugh when they see me in my bikini.
I'm not fat or anything, but I did hit puberty pretty young. I have breasts and curves that the other girls at school don't have. First I believed them when they said I was fat. When I told my mom I wanted to go on a diet because I thought I was getting bigger, she got mad. She explained that I wasn't fat. She told me my body was turning into a body of a woman. I was thirteen when she said that and obviously, I hated it. But now I accept it. In a few years, I am probably happy with it.
I'm standing in the bathroom in front of the mirror and I'm looking at my belly. There is a bruise from my hip to my belly button, due to the kick I received. My back thankfully doesn't show any signs of violence. I really need some arnica cream to help me with that bruise though, it will look horrible in a bikini. I also have to make sure I have a good story to explain it, because mom and dad will go insane when they see it. I'll just have to tell them it happened when I fell, and that I first didn't notice the pain because my eyebrow was bleeding. It is insane how good I am at lying to them and it breaks my heart every time I do it. The only thing that is worse than the lying though, would be telling them the truth.
When I'm standing in the shower a little later, I let the warm water pour down on me. I let my mind wander and think about the upcoming weeks. Eight weeks without school, without homework and most importantly, without Leila and her followers. For the first time since a very long time, I feel the tension leave my body. Eight weeks without bullies and pain.
And two weeks in Italy. I can't wait. We are flying tomorrow evening, and if it was up to me I would be on my way to the airport right now. I have flown before, but only short distance flights, nothing too special. Mostly when we went to Vegas to visit grandma. Everybody always thinks that is super exciting, but when you are a teenager, you really don't see anything of the hype.
I can't wait to go to Rome and Florence. I've done some research in the last three weeks, and Rome is like one big museum. On every corner, there is something historical to see. And I can't wait to see it all. My mom and dad also like history, so I just know we are going to have so much fun.
Of course, I also can't wait to relax by the pool or on the beach. The weather here in Savannah isn't bad at all. In July and August, we have warm days, but it can be very stifling and stuffy. Even though it is warm in Tuscany, the heat is completely different. I still have to make sure I don't burn, but I hope I will be able to lay in the sun for a while without being overcome by heat.
When I've washed my hair, I get out of the shower and put on my pajamas before going downstairs again. Mom and dad are still busy packing, so they ordered pizza and put it on the kitchen counter so we can help ourselves. I love these nights, where everything is chaotic and we just have a pizza and eat in front of the TV. It brings up memories.
"All done packing, sweetie?" Mom asks while she walks into the kitchen, no doubt to grab a slice as well.
I nod my head. "Ready."
"Good. I think it is best if we all have an early night. We need to be at the airport at 4:30 pm. tomorrow, and you probably don't have the best sleep on the plane."
I nod my head in agreement. I wasn't planning on going to bed late tonight, I'm tired and my body hurts. The warm shower did help a bit, but my hip and head still hurt. I just need a good night sleep and because I don't have to go to school tomorrow, I think I might actually get some good sleep tonight.
"Good, are you sure you have everything? Clothes, shoes, bikinis, books?" Mom asks, counting on her fingers if she forgot something. It makes me giggle. Mom is always nervous when we are going on vacation. She is scared that she will forget something. Like they don't have stores in Italy where she can buy everything.
"I have everything mom, don't worry." I smile.
"Are you excited?" She asks, a smile on her face as well.
"You have no idea!" I say while clapping my hands, making her laugh and shake her head before she walks to the living room to watch TV, me on her heels to join her.
She really has no idea how much I need this. How excited I am. This is going to be such an important trip. It will give me the peace to process everything that had happened this year, without worrying about mom and dad catching on something. I can just relax and keep everything in my head. This is going to be good for me.
Who knows, maybe I will come back as a completely different person. Someone who can stand up for herself.
I laugh at the thought, that probably won't happen. But I am sure that this is going to be a special trip. I feel it.
This trip is exactly what I need.