CARLISLE

I watched the rays of light bounce off the dusty Christmas balls that still hung on the near dead tree that had started to fall and break apart. A thousand mini shards of bark and needles littered the floor near the tall unlit fireplace. I was aware but I didn't really care about the loud voices that were now echoing through the front door towards me. I ignored them as thoroughly as I had done for quite some time now. I hadn't lost anyone so close to me before, not even when I was breathing and now I had lost one and another was about to vanish before my eyes.

The image of Esme's shaking body as she bent down and gave Bella one last kiss on the forehead while she slept – our only was of saying goodbye – flashed through my mind, as it did often. I tried to control these thoughts for Edwards sake but found it near impossible, did our Bella hate us now? She had no way of knowing that we had all said our goodbyes to her, even Rosalie. Alice, had been by far the hardest to watch. She had begged and pleaded with Edward, she had sat by Bella until Jasper and Rosalie had to physically remove her. Emmett, had been no help at all. He sat watching Bella, lost in a daze, refusing to communicate with any of us, especially Edward. And here we were five months later and he still refused to talk to Edward.

"Carlisle. We need to get Edward to go hunting." Esme's once joyful voice sounded haunting, a small reflection of her once beautiful tone. "I don't care to lose a son as well." It seemed to be the one thing we all agreed on. Bella was one of us and to all of us it truly felt like we had lost a vital member of the family.

"I'll have a word" I spoke as I stood, my eyes still focused on the dusty Christmas tree. I found it was a great symbol for our family; broken and barely standing.

Edwards body was slummed on the black carpet that lined his empty bedroom. His eyes were trained on the floor as he watched something in the distance. Some memory I couldn't comprehend.

"You need to eat Edward." His eyes met mine, empty and black as the carpet he had stared at just moments before. 'Edward, for Esme.' I thought at him. He shrugged and pulled himself to his feet, using the wall next to him. He turned and vanished through the window. I watched after him, suddenly contemplating if we would see him again soon or if he would take off on us again, just like the last time we had asked him to go hunt.

The truth was, I had already lost my son as well. The moment he decided to leave Bella, he died inside. He was truly just the dead vessel now, one that haunted us with his presence.

"You got him to go?" Alice's small voice came from behind me.

"Yes. I'm not sure if he'll be returning any time soon though."

"Carlisle, You do know its Valentines day today?" She whispered, barely audible at all… even for me. I shook a no, was it February already?

"Esme's birthday" I whispered and slumped, my hand catching my head. How could I forget? It was hard enough to keep the composure going at work, that when I came home I just let myself go completely and allowed the grief to swallow me. But forgetting Esme's birthday, there was no excuse for that. Alice presented a small black velvet box in her right hand and winked as she gave it to me. "What is… how did?" Her small frame shrugged slightly and she tapped her forehead, a gesture she had picked up from Edward. "Oh, of course. Thank you Alice." With her retreating smile she was gone. I was going to owe Alice for a long time for this one but it still wasn't sitting right with me that I had forgotten Esme's birthday.

Esme was sitting on the sofa not watching whatever talk show she had on. Her eyes looking at the Christmas tree, as her hands moved gracefully across the keyboard of the laptop that sat on her lap.

"We should take that down, I guess." She said without even looking in my direction.

"Hmmm" I said as I took a seat next to her. "I'm sorry" I said as I looked at her, capturing her hands in mine and moving the laptop from her lap.

"For what?" She asked looking honestly perplexed.

"Happy Birthday" I gave her a small smile, something I hadn't done in a long time. It felt peculiar to the muscles on my face. She smiled back at me.

"I hadn't realised." She shrugged. "Thank you" Her small voice said as I handed her the box.

"I'll make it up to you, this is just the starting present." I promised, but she didn't seem very fussed.

She opened the box to reveal a heart diamond necklace with emerald diamonds surrounding it. It was truly beautiful, as was anything Alice picked out.

"Thank you" She leaned in and rested her body against mine as we both just sat there. There was only one thing that would truly make her happy and it wasn't something I could give her. But then, maybe I could. If I just found Bella, offered her the choice and changed her, of course only if she wanted it. Then what could Edward really do. Get angry? I was used to that, at least it would be better than this zombie-like state. I allowed my thoughts to take over me, daydreaming about how in less than a week, I could have my family back together.

The phone started beeping, dragging me back to reality. Esme looked up at me, knowing that it was only the hospital that had this number.

"Its only a message" I spoke as I read it. Leaning down to pick up the laptop I explained to Esme as I pulled her back against my chest. "They've sent me a case file for a second opinion."

"Do you have to go in?"

"No, they just want me to see if I agree. I can do it from here." I kissed her forehead as she hugged back into me. It didn't take me long to decide that they were giving the patient the right cause of treatment. "Done." I kissed the top of her head as I continued to log out but something caught my eye "hmmm".

"What is it?" She asked looking at the screen.

"This email address. Lostswan. Its non of my colleagues."

"What?" I heard Alice screech, as she almost instantly appeared in front of me, followed by Jasper. "Did you say Lost Swan?" Emmett and Rosalie filtered in from the kitchen. The house had been so quiet now for so long that her loud voice was almost peace shattering.

"What's going on?" Emmett asked as he made his way closer.

"Yes I did say that." I responded to Alice who looked as if she had just seen a ghost.

"Alice, what is it?" Esme asked, sitting up know, panicked.

"Bella. That's her email." She whispered.

The house fell into silence again as we all froze looking at the laptop. Esme took the laptop from my still hands and opened the message.

"Is it her?" Rosalie asked.

"What does it say?" Emmett sounded generally excited for the first time in months.

"How did she find us?" Jasper wondered aloud.

"It's really her…" Esme whispered as the sobs began to break through her voice. "Carlisle, Please tell Esme Happy Birthday from me. I hope your all doing well. Bella" As she read her voice cracked and as she said her name she dropped her face into her hands and allowed the dry sobs to rip through her.

"Is that it?" Alice almost yelled. "She didn't even mention Edward?"

"No, that's it." I said as I took the laptop and passed it to Alice. I pulled Esme into my arms and tried to soothe her.