"How do you know of us?" the pierced man demanded.

"How could we not? You guys are the top villains of our favorite anime, and you kick ass! Of course we know you! Well, except Faith. She doesn't watch the show."

"I do know a little about it."

"Only what we've told you."

"I still know something."

"Hmm, you're right."

The silver-haired man waved his hand in front of Sam's face. "Hello, we're having an important discussion here."

"About what?"

He growled and started banging his head against the wall. Sam looked on, confused. "What'd I do?"

"Nothing, Sam, nothing."

More people started walking down the stairs, and they all moved out of the way to make room for them. As soon as all ten were down, Sam started talking again.

"So, I suppose you'll need somewhere to stay tonight?"

"It would be highly appreciated", the pierced man said.

"At least we wouldn't have to pay for anything", the stitched man grumbled.

"Wow, you're even worse in person than in the show", Lugen remarked dryly.

"What did you say?" he demanded, taking out a knife.

"Hey, behave, or no one gets to sleep inside but me", Sam ordered, frowning.

The stitched man sneered. "And how do you propose to stop us?"

"Like this", she said calmly, before grabbing his arm and biting it.

"What was that?!"

"Damn, Kakuzu, she got you good!" the silver-haired man laughed.

"Sam, stop!" Tanner and Faith both grabbed her before she went to bite him again.

"He tastes so good", she moaned, pupils dilating beyond normal. Lugen ran into the kitchen, grabbing the package of cookies and throwing them at her.

"Eat these."

She squeaked and grabbed them, tearing open the package and sitting on the floor to munch the cookies.

"What was that about?!" the stitched man demanded.

"She's a cannibal. Cookies are the only way to stop her when she gets hungry. Well, that and chicken blood, but we don't have any on hand right now."

"What the fuck?" the silver-haired man asked, eyebrow raised.

Raven shook her head. "Don't ask. Never ask."

"Why, she can't explain?"

"No, she can. And you'll never be the same after hearing it."

Sam finally stood up, half the cookies in the package gone. She rubbed the back of her head sheepishly, and said, "Heh-heh, sorry about that. I kinda forgot what I was doing."

"So can we sleep here?"

"Yeah, just give me a sec to figure out where you guys are going to sleep."

She then started mumbling to herself, "Let's see, Faith and I can share a bed, I don't think she'll mind, two people can get top bunk, Tanner and Lugen can share, two people get top bunk there, Raven still has the couch, so that takes care of four of them, that leaves six. We could fit three in the master bedroom, and two upstairs in the spare room. That leaves one left…."

Faith spoke up. "Um, Sam? Actually, I'd prefer not sleeping with you."

"All right, then. Faith and Konan can share my bed, and I'll have the floor."

"How do you know my name? And why does she not want to sleep with you?"

"First answer, I told you, you're a criminal in my favorite anime. Second answer, I'm a sleep-snuggler. Ask Tanner, he'll tell you."

"I can't believe you gave me a bruise."

Faith frowned. "What happened?"

Sam waved her hand in the air. "It was before you guys were dating. I fell asleep on the way back from the Albany trip, and used him as a pillow."

"And you threatened me."

"You were the one who pushed me onto the floor."

"It was an accident!"

"I landed in spilled iced-tea, and I got stuck. I don't care."

"Why can't you just-"

"Back on topic, please?" Lugen interrupted.

Sam and Tanner paused, then snapped their mouths shut.

"Thank you", he said.

"So who's sleeping where?" the pierced man asked.

"Actually, the first order of business should be introducing ourselves. Except for Faith, we all know who you guys are, so we'll introduce ourselves first. I'm Sam", she said, mock-bowing and hitting her head on the wall. "Ouch!"

Tanner rolled his eyes. "Smooth, Sam. Anyways, I'm Tanner."

Faith gave a half-wave. "Faith."

Raven flipped her frizzy hair over her shoulder. "I'm Raven."

Lugen smirked. "I'm Rakenhoktha."

They stared at him. "Come again?"

"Just call him Lugen, that's what we do."

"Shall do. Where are we sleeping, now?"

"Konan and Faith are sharing my bed, and….let's see……. We'll put Hidan and Kakuzu on top bunk, Lugen and Tanner are sharing a bed, so we'll put….. Itachi and Kisame. Deidara and Sasori can have the bed upstairs, and Zetsu, Tobi, and Pein can have the master bedroom. That work?"

"I suppose."

"Good, because I'm too tired to think of anything else. Night!"

Sam turned around and walked into her room, grabbing the blanket off her bed and putting it on the floor as a make-shift mattress.

They stared at her.

"You know, that is the most focused I have seen her in a while", Tanner remarked.

"True", Lugen agreed.

They sorted out themselves, heading to their various assigned sleeping spots. Hidan stared at the bed he was supposed to share with Kakuzu.

"That bed is fucking small!"

"It's a twin size. That means it can hold two. So suck it up and go to sleep", came Sam's grouchy voice from her corner.

"Don't make her mad, she gets cranky when she's tired", Tanner said as he walked by.

"Fucking bitch", Hidan muttered as he crawled up the side of the bed. He flopped down, and Kakuzu almost landed on him as he tried laying down as well.

"Watch it, fatass!"

"Shove your ass over, then!"

"Shut up, both of you!" Sam yelled.

The pair shut up, attempting to arrange themselves. Faith and Konan had no trouble fitting, and the girls both fell swiftly asleep. Everyone grumbled a bit, but soon followed them.

The sun was shining cruelly through the window, directly into Sam's eyes. She yawned, stretching pleasurably. Maybe she should sleep on the floor more often, it was more comfortable than her bed.

She rose, stumbling lightly in her usual early morning bout of dizziness, and walked out the door, intending on starting breakfast. She knew everyone else would be a while in waking up yet. She tripped over the doorframe, almost falling on her face.

"Damn door…." She muttered, continuing into the living room. She turned the corner, and blinked in surprise. Sasori was already there, sipping tea.

"Morning", she yawned.

"Hmm", was his response.

As she walked by, she caught the familiar scent of peppermint. She froze.

"Where did you find the tea?" she hissed, slowly turning around.

"On the breakfast nook, why?"

"That's my tea."

"You can share."

"I don't share", she growled.

"Too bad, you're sharing now."

She glared flatly at him. "You have three seconds to give me back my tea."

"Why, what are you going to do to me?" Sasori asked sarcastically.

"This." She grinned evilly, and Sasori felt the urge to run while he could.

Everyone else slowly woke up to the smell of bacon and eggs, and Hidan was the first to stumble into the kitchen.

He peered over her shoulder, and asked, "When's it gonna be fucking done?"

Sam yelled and swung the frying pan around, almost clubbing him in the face. Apparently, she either forgot it was in her hand, or she was intentionally attacking him. Either way, he ducked and dodged, feeling the wind go over his head.

"Damn, bitch! What the fuck was that for?"

"You scared me!"

"I was right there!"

"I don't have peripheral vision!"

Tanner walked in, followed by Faith, and blinked at the shouting duo. "Let me guess, you scared her?"

"I don't know how the fuck I scared her!"

"She's Sam, remember?"

Hidan just muttered, storming to the small table and sitting down. Sam, hyperventilating, slowly set the pan back down on the stove. "God damn idiot…"

"It's Jashin, you fucking bitch!"

"I don't care who it is, both of you shut up!" Kakuzu screamed, coming into the kitchen. This finally woke up Raven, who also walked into the kitchen.

"What's u-"

She was interrupted by Sam screaming and pointing at her.

"What is it?!"

"Y-yo-your-"

"Spit it out already!"

"Your hair looks so funny!" she burst out, doubling over with laughter. Raven stared at her, then walked over and grabbed the spatula and smacked her with it.

"Don't make fun of my hair!"

"OW!"

"You deserved it", Tanner said, snatching a piece of bacon from the plate. He split it in half and gave part to Faith, and they both watched Raven beat her with the kitchen utensil.

"Should we help her?"

"Nah."

Pein walked in as well, staring at them all. "What is wrong with you people?"

"We don't know!" Sam cracked, finally getting away from Raven by hiding behind Kakuzu.

"Get away from me, psycho bitch!"

"Aw, thanks!"

"How was that a compliment?!"

"Again, it's Sam."

They heard footsteps come down the stairs, and Deidara peered around the corner, bleary-eyed. "Hey, where's Danna?"

Sam got an evil look that immediately made them all suspicious. "He decided he wanted to go play with the dogs."

"Sam, where are the dogs?"

"Outside."

They looked slowly out the window, seeing two large rottweilers and a mixed breed dog chewing on something that looked suspiciously like body parts.

Deidara paled. "Danna?"

"Don't worry, I took his heart container out. It's in the fridge."

"He is so going to kill you when he gets back in a body."

"What do you think he tried to do this morning?"

"Sam, what did you do to start it?"

"Why do you automatically assume I started it?!"

"Sam."

She frowned, then looked at the floor, shuffling her feet. "He stole some of my tea, and then said to share", she muttered.

Lugen rolled his eyes. "Sam, you couldn't share just once?"

"No."

They all looked at her, and slowly edged away. "Kakuzu?"

"Yeah, Hidan?"

"I'm scared."

"And you should be!" Sam randomly blurted out, cackling insanely.

Tanner studied her for a few seconds, then a metaphorical lightbulb went off over his head. He walked over to a cabinet, taking out an orange pill bottle. "Sam, did you take your pills today?"

"….Maybe."

"That's a no. Hold her down!"

Sam tried to run, but was quickly pinned down by Pein and Kakuzu. Tanner shoved the pill into a cookie, shoving it into her mouth. She struggled for a few seconds, then started chewing the cookie. She swallowed, and she all of a sudden grew calm, face relaxing.

"Sam?"

She looked at him, then her head fell to the side, snoring. Lugen rolled his eyes. "Should've guessed."

"She'll be out for a few minutes. In the meantime, let's eat!"

They all surrounded the food, fighting over who got what.

Zetsu, watching from the doorway, said, "I used to think we were crazy. We are crazy. But not as crazy as her. No one can be that crazy." Zetsu nodded to himself, then went in to fight for his own meal.