Thanks to all my reviewers. Consider yourselves furnished with a freshly-drawn pint of cyber-Guinness, as purchased for you by moi. And if you don't like Guinness (like me), you're more than welcome to a packet of Meanies and a cheese toastie

Genie05 the second

LadyPup

Karma's Girl

summergirlforever

SayaRavenHope

coup fatal

NitrogrenFixation

And three cheers for my long-suffering Beta WandaW

Glass

Chapter One – It's A New Dawn, A New Day, A New Life For Me, And, Dagnabbit Bitch, I'm Feelin' Pretty Motherfuckin' Good


Each day I live in a glass room unless I break it with the thrusting of my senses and pass through the splintered walls to the great landscape.
Mervyn Peake

.

" … Brotherhood terrorists attacking the Pentagon. Magneto is among them. He appears to have full use of his powers. This can only mean one thing. The Cure has failed …"

That had been yesterday. 9:47 pm. Rogue had not left her room since.

For the first hour they had respected her privacy. Only Storm came to see her. The Weather Witch sat on the end of her bed and said if Rogue needed anything or wanted to talk, she was there for her. She gave Rogue's shoulder a brief squeeze and stood up to leave. Rogue opened her mouth to voice the immense tide of gratitude she felt washing over her as Storm departed the room, but no words would come out.

"It's all right, Rogue," Storm said with a kind smile. "It's all right. And remember, whatever your choice may be, there will always be a place for you here. This is your home for as long as you want it to be."

Rogue just nodded.

The second hour brought about a multitude of assaults on her door. Piotr, Jubilee, Bobby and Kitty had all done shifts in proclaiming their undying sympathies and assuring her if she wanted to talk they were there. Though Rogue was moved by her friends' sincerity and perseverance, she did not feel like talking to anyone, least of all Bobby. The knocks petered off as the night grew old. Jubilee brought her a midnight feast at four o'clock, laying down her wares by the door. Touched as she was by Jubilee's thoughtful gesture, Rogue left the food where it was; even the thought of eating made her feel queasy.

Logan arrived with breakfast. He shifted awkwardly from foot to foot, his arms folded across his chest. "I'm here for ya, kid," he said in the gruff voice he used when confronted with emotion. "Whenever you're ready …" he trailed off and carefully set down the waffles and coffee on her bedside table. She touched his hand but felt nothing. Logan said nothing. He stumped back across the room and pulled open the door. Then he stopped and turned back around to face her. "Just know that ya got people here who really care about ya. And don't do anything stupid, okay?"

Stupid? What did he mean by stupid, Rogue wondered. Did he think that she was going to commit suicide? That she was going to kill herself? She would be lying if she said the thought hadn't prowled around her mind, but she ignored it. She was sad, angry, a little ashamed and bitterly disappointed by the failure of the Cure – not suicidal. She put on her gloves and sat by the window.

Throughout the day Jubilee brought her food every hour or so. Cheese Puffs, a bowl of Captain Crunch without a spoon, a handful of distorted Hersey's Kisses that looked like they were from the Stone Age, a peach and strawberry smoothie, a packet of M&Ms and enough fruit to sink a ship. Piotr knocked on the door and called out to her every time he passed by. Kitty attempted a few timid conversations through the wall, but each time she gave up more quickly and by ten PM Rogue hadn't heard from her in over three hours. Bobby steered clear completely. Rogue tried not to think about him, if he and Kitty were together, and, if they were, what they might be doing. What she might be doing with some faceless boy from her old High School down in Mississippi had she not been so cruelly robbed of her precious teenage years by her so-called 'gift'.

But as she thought of her powers with thoughts as acidic as hers were, she felt guilty. Some people would have killed to have a Mutation, though perhaps not one like hers. Rogue found her thoughts straying to jealousy of those with controllable powers, powers they could use to benefit others and have fun with. Why couldn't she have gotten one of them? – Why couldn't she be like Kitty or Bobby? Or even Pyro! He loved his Mutation more than life itself and it loved him back. Life wasn't fair.

It was night now. 11:13 by Rogue's watch. Outside her window the cold February rain poured down. Drops of water rolled down the external pane. Rogue touched her forehead to the cool glass. The sky was crying, but she was not. Nor was she going to.

"Rogue?"

Startled, Rogue whirled around. Kitty stood just inside her room. Obviously she had phased in through the locked door. The look on her face suggested she had been chased into the room by a mad axe man only to find a whole squadron of them on the other side of the door. She kept biting her lip and wringing her hands. Rogue frowned a little, standing up. Had something happened?

"Kitty," she began, but Kitty cut her off.

"I'm so sorry," she squeaked, her voice an octave higher than usual. "I know I shouldn't have phased into your room. It was rude. And I'm, like, sorry. I know this a really bad time for you – and I'm totally here for you … But I really need to talk to you. If you don't mind …" she trailed off, her expression akin to that of a man waiting for the hangman to sling the noose around his neck.

Rogue gave a little shrug and held out her hands. "Talk? Sure, we can talk. About ya, right?"

Kitty nodded. "Yeah. About me … and Bobby." She whispered his name, as if it would hurt Rogue less if it were said quietly.

Rogue blinked. "Oh."

"I'm so sorry, Rogue." Kitty opened her mouth and a river of words came charging forth through the open floodgates. "I feel soooo bad, I do, and Bobby didn't want me to tell you but I just had to because you're my best friend and I can't keep on running around behind your back, and I swear I didn't mean to, like, lead him on or anything – I mean, you always knew I had a crush on him, and I kissed him, and it was a mistake, and I'm sorry, and then he kissed me back, and I kissed him back and – and – and … I'm sorry." Teetering dangerously on the verge of tears, Kitty looked imploringly up at Rogue. "Please don't be mad."

Rogue said nothing. She had been anticipating this conversation for a while now, gearing herself up for the emotional onslaught she had assumed would hit her like a ton a of bricks when Bobby broke up with her … But she felt nothing. Nothing at all, maybe except a little disappointment. And it wasn't even disappointment that they hadn't been able to work their problems out and carried on. It was disappointment that Bobby was not a big enough man to break up with her himself; disappointment that she had wasted so much of her valuable time aching over Bobby Drake.

"You're mad, aren't you?" Kitty whispered. "You're really mad at me. And you, like, totally should be. I'm an awful person. An awful friend. I ask you – what kind of friend kisses her best friend's boyfriend behind her back? Oh my God, Rogue, I'm so sorry. For everything … You're really mad. Oh my God, you're so mad."

Rogue stared at the younger girl. She had been so deep in thought that she had almost forgotten that Kitty was in the room.

"Please don't be mad," Kitty begged.

"Ah'm not mad," Rogue said gently after a long silence. "Ah know Ah should be, but Ah'm not."

It was Kitty's turn to stare. "You're … not … mad …?" she sounded so confused and upset that Rogue felt an urge to comfort her. A little laugh escaped her lips at the irony of the situation: her life had been ripped from under her like a rug, and she felt that it was she who ought to be doing the comforting, as opposed to being comforted.

Rogue shook her head. "Ah'm not mad," she repeated with conviction. A smile was beginning to creep across her face. "Honest. Ah swear." She felt oddly buoyant, like she had been relieved of a heavy burden, or like a giant balloon was being inflated inside of her, lifting her off the ground.

"You're not mad?"

"No!" Rogue was really smiling now. She got down on her knees and pulled her faithful duffel bag out from under her bed, dumped it on the bed and practically sprinted to the dresser. "Ah'm not mad at all. In fact, believe it or not, Ah'm glad. Ah'm actually really happy. Happier than Ah've been in ages. Thanks, Kit." She threw her friend a grin as she emptied the contents of her underwear drawer into the duffel.

"What are you doing?" Kitty asked urgently, following Rogue's actions with wide eyes.

"Packing," Rogue replied jubilantly, adding three pairs of jeans to the bag.

"You're leaving?"

"Yup."

"What?" Kitty panicked. "You can't leave because of me. I won't see Bobby. You can't leave!"

Rogue gently took Kitty by the shoulders. "This has nuthin' to do with you – or Bobby. It's all about me."

"I – I don't understand."

"Neither do Ah," Rogue assured her cheerfully, running to the bathroom and cramming all her toiletries into her toiletries bag. "But Ah know it's what Ah gotta do."

"Why?" Kitty sounded deeply concerned.

Rogue shoved her toiletries bag into her duffel bag and stood still for a minute, struggling to put her feelings into something as crude as words. She preserved because she felt she owed Kitty an explanation – at least to save the poor girl from blaming her departure on herself. "It's layke/like this, Kitty. Before Ah came here, Ah was someone else. No – not in that way. Ah'm not talkin' about who Ah was before mah Mutation manifested. Ah'm talkin' about a girl who planned tah hitchhike her way from Mississippi all the way up to Alaska," she said in a slow voice, choosing her words with great care. "And that girl got there, she got to Alaska, all bah herself. And, somehow, since Ah've been here, that girl has gone away. She would never have lain down and let life walk all over her. She would'a got out there and did what she wanted to do, Mutation or no Mutation … Ah haven't been that girl in so long Kitty, Ah've forgotten the first thing about her. And Ah miss her. Ah miss that me. Ah want to find her again. Do ya understand?"

Kitty nodded miserably. "But can't you, like, find her here?"

Rogue shook her head, grinning. "Where's the fun in that?"

"You could be an X-Man," Kitty proposed desperately. "That's fun."

"Are ya blackmailin' me, Katherine Pyrde?" Rogue laughed, zipping up her bag and wrapping her scarf around her throat.

Kitty looked her up and down, taking in her heavy green coat, gloves and scarf, and packed bag. "There's nothing I can say to make you stay, is there?" she asked in small voice.

"No," Rogue replied, gently but firmly. "There ain't."

"But you'll come back, won't you?"

Rogue stopped short. Would she come back? "Ah don't know," she answered honestly. "Maybe, maybe not. Ah have no idea what Ah'm gonna do once Ah walk out that door, and Ah'm gonna do that in five minutes. How the heck am Ah supposed tah know what Ah gonna be doing five months from now?" she joked.

"Five months is a long time," Kitty said obviously.

"Ah need a long time."

"Will you call me?"

"Sure. If ya want me to," Rogue agreed amiably. "Ah'll send ya postcards too. And Jubilee and Pete."

"That'd be, like, totally great," Kitty said, a weak smile fighting through. Rogue smoothed down her bedspread before hoisting her duffel bag up onto her back. Kitty bit her lip. She looked as if she doing some serious thinking. Rogue waited patiently for her friend to say what she needed to. Kitty made up her mind and dug in her pocket. She held out her shiny silver cell phone to Rogue. "Take it."

"Ah already have a cell," Rogue said, unsure of what Kitty was getting at.

Kitty raised her eyebrows. "Rogue. You have a brick, not a cell. And the battery only lasts, like, five hours. What would happen if you went on a six hour bus ride?"

"Ah guess Ah'd have to turn it off for an hour or so," Rogue replied stiffly, put out at Kitty's disrespect for her cell. Sure, it was old and very solid, but it did work. It couldn't download live TV but it could call people – wasn't that the point of a phone?

Kitty kept shaking her head. "I want you to take this. Wait, like, two secs and I'll go and get the charger." Not giving Rogue a chance to politely decline her offer, she shoved her cell into Rogue's reluctant hand and disappeared through the wall into her own bedroom, reappearing seconds later with the cord in her hands.

"Ah can't take this, Kitty," Rogue said seriously. "This is ya cell. How can ya call home without it?"

Kitty rolled her eyes. "Jeez, Rogue. This is a school. There might just be another phone or twenty lying around. And my parents will get me a new one." Kitty was one of the lucky few whose parents had accepted that their daughter was a Mutant without much fuss. "I'll just say I lost this one. Problem solved."

"Kitty …" Rogue stammered. "Ah … Ah don't know what to say …"

Kitty smiled. "Thank you's good. Consider it repayment," she added sheepishly.

"For what?"

"Bobby."

"Ya don't owe me anythin'," Rogue said seriously.

"I don't now," Kitty grinned. Rogue smiled too. She slipped the cell into her pocket.

"Thanks."

"No prob," Kitty said in a business-like tone. "Now quick, run before Jubes finds out you're leaving."

Rogue clapped a hand to her mouth. "Oh mah Gawd! Jubilee! Ah haven't said goodbye."

"I'll say it for you," Kitty assured her.

"And to Pete," Rogue pressed her anxiously. "He's been so sweet."

"And Pete," Kitty promised. There was a slightly awkward moment as they both sensed Bobby's name in the offing but Kitty recovered quickly. She gave Rogue another hug and skipped away down the corridor, vanishing through a wall. Taking a deep breath, Rogue turned around and headed for the front door, praying that she wouldn't run into Storm on her way. Thankfully, she got to the door undetected. She shimmied her bag higher up her back and reached out to open the door when it opened from the outside.

"Hey, kid."

"Logan!" Rogue exclaimed, her heart thumping in her chest. "Ya scared me!"

Logan quirked an eyebrow. Then his face tightened into a frown as he took in her bag and coat. "Ya goin' somewhere?"

Rogue nodded. "Yeah. How did ya guess?" Logan pointed at the duffel. Rogue smiled ruefully. "Ah guess the bag was a bit of a giveaway, right?"

Logan nodded stiffly. "Right. Where ya goin'?"

Rogue shrugged. "Ah don't know."

"Ya don't know or ya don't care?" Logan demanded.

Rogue squared her shoulders. "Pick one."

The familiar words brought a smile to both of their faces.

Logan sighed and rubbed his face. "Need a ride?"

"No thanks," Rogue said softly. "This is sumthin' Ah wanna do on my own."

"I meant to the bus station." Logan looked behind him out into the night. "It's rainin' cats and dogs out there."

His voice was hopeful and Rogue felt bad turning down his offer. "Thanks, Logan, but no."

"It's only a bus station."

"Well, if it's only a bus station, Ah can walk there, can't Ah?" Rogue returned imperiously. Logan grinned and tentatively reached out to ruffle her hair.

"You're somethin', kid," he said, shaking his head. "I'll give ya that."

"Bye Logan."

"Bye … Rogue."

As Rogue stepped out into the night she realised it was the first time he had called her Rogue. Spinning back around, she called out his name. "Logan?"

Logan looked at her over his shoulder. "Yeah, kid?"

"About that ride …"

They didn't talk on their way to the bus station. It was only a few blocks away and, to Rogue, it felt like the journey had only just started when Logan pulled the car to a stop. He rummaged in the pocket of his leather jacket, fishing out a handful of crumpled bills. "Here," he said, pushing the money into Rogue's hand. There was no room for leeway in his voice and Rogue didn't waste her breath arguing. She accepted the money, though she intended to deposit it on the dash as soon as Logan's back was turned.

A bus came and went and she didn't get out of the car.

"Can I ask you a question?" Logan growled suddenly.

"S-sure," Rogue said, surprised by his rough tone. "Sure."

"Why are doin' this? Leavin'?" He cocked his head, scrutinising her with a frown on his face. "This isn't because ya had a fight with Bobby, is it? 'Cause if it is, I'll kill the bastard."

Rogue snorted with laughter and shook her head. "No. It's not because o' Bobby. Or Kitty, or anyone, or the Cure. It's because o' me. This is sumthin' Ah wanna do."

"Hmmm." Logan didn't sound convinced. He folded his arms and continued to study her, as if the answers he was looking for would suddenly appear on her forehead.

"Haven't ya ever done sumthin' ya just wanted to do?" Rogue asked him, exasperated. "C'mon!? Just felt the urge to get out there and start doin' it? Ever felt spontaneous?"

"Like with Alaska?" Logan asked dubiously.

Rogue pulled a face. "No … That was all planned. It wasn't spontaneous."

Logan shook his head, looking down at the steering wheel. He heaved a sigh and gazed out the window. "This isn't spontaneous either, is it?"

Rogue closed her eyes. "No."

A bus pulled up in front of the station. Its tag read New York City. Rogue unbuckled her seatbelt. "That's mah bus," she said quietly, struggling out into the rain, leaving the money on her seat. Logan got out too and walked her into the station. He insisted on buying her ticket. They stood together in the rain while everyone else crammed their bags in the luggage hold and boarded the bus. The driver honked and Rogue sprang to action. She stowed her duffel with the other bags and searched her pockets for her ticket. She couldn't find it.

"Mah ticket!" she gasped, staring at Logan.

He rolled his eyes and conjured it from an inner pocket of his jacket. Pressing it into her palm, her pulled her into a fatherly embrace. Kissing the top of her head, he held her by the shoulders and took a step back the better to see her. "Miss ya, kid," he said gruffly.

Rogue smiled, fighting against the lump that was threatening to capture her throat. "Me too."

"I'll be callin' ya," he warned. "Checkin' to make sure you're still alive."

"Okay," Rogue consented readily.

"Ya can call me any time if ya get into trouble. I'll pick ya up."

"Okay."

The bus driver banged on his horn again.

Logan tried for a smile. He inclined his head toward the bus. "Go." Rogue opened her mouth, shut it and nodded helplessly. "Go," Logan repeated gently. "That dick ain't gonna wait much longer. Go. It's okay." And Rogue began to walk towards the bus. She clambered up the steps and handed the driver her ticket. He punched a hole in it with a grumble. Rogue stood at the top of the gangway, searching for empty seats. Through the window she saw Logan standing alone on the sidewalk.

"Wait, please," she called to the driver as she scrambled passed him back out into the rain. She ran through the puddles up to Logan and threw her arms around him. When they drew apart, she plucked up her courage, stood on tiptoe and quickly kissed his cheek. Just as quickly, she turned around and ran back to the bus. She sat down in the first free seat, one by the window halfway down the bus. Her face was wet; it might have just been the rain, but it could have been tears. Rogue glanced out the window. It stopped raining just as a new car pulled up and parked beside Logan's. It was Storm. Rogue gulped, expecting to be frogmarched back to the mansion, but Storm only went to stand beside Logan. She waved up at her. They were holding hands. Suddenly, Rogue felt alone. Logan had Storm, Kitty had Bobby and Jubilee had, for all intents and purposes, Piotr. Who did she have? An empty bus seat to her right and a ticket to New York. She waved back at Storm. She kept waving as the bus pulled out of the terminal and onto the road.

Rogue pressed her face to the window and watched her old life slip away, blurring into obscurity as her breath fogged the glass.

So? What do you think? I want to get into the action fast so Rogue didn't really have time for a ten-chapter-long soliloquy. Did it work?