Chapter 2: Underwater Basket Weaving and Owl Magnets

I was sitting out in the garden in my pajamas and robe, smoking Granddad's pipe when the sun came up. Sleep had come in fits and starts and finally at four o'clock I decided that sleep just wasn't going to come. I grabbed a soda from the fridge, found a pipe and went outside. For hours it was just me and the birds, I watched them move about the trees quickly and elegantly, and I listened to their calls seemingly without hearing anything. I looked at the fence and watched the sun creep thought a crack between the fence posts and eventually climb over the top. It hadn't been long after that when Melody found me.

"What are you doing up? It's Saturday." I heard her sigh. "The pipe again?" She walked over and sat at our garden table. "Thinking about Hogwarts again, aren't you?"

"Yeah."

She put her hand on my arm "Don't worry; I'm sure it'll work out fine."

I kept looking at the fence. I hoped she was right.

Later that morning I was in my home office looking through my textbook. Muggles Among Us was written in 1952, over fifty years ago. There was so much that this book didn't cover, the Civil Rights movement, all of the technological advances, the change in the political landscape. Hell, a man had been on the moon since that book was written. I flipped through the pages and found myself shaking my head. How was I going to teach out of this old thing? I was trying to figure out how to branch off from the book, to use it as a starting point when I heard the music. I knew that theme song, and shook my head.

Walking into the living room I found Melody curled up on the couch with Churchill watching television, the DVD box beside her. "Melody, you know that's how Muggles think of witches. Well, the ones that aren't trying to steal their children."

"At least she's a cute witch. Remind me to send Nate a nice thank you note."

I sat down on the couch next to her, and after Churchill settled on my lap we watched part of the DVD box set of Bewitched! Leave it to my brother to come up with that as a birthday present for Melody. Mom and Dad had sent over a box for Melody that arrived right before her birthday, and she had insisted on opening it up immediately. Mom (and Dad, but I knew Mom had picked it out) had sent a large stainless steel pineapple, not a life-sized one, but a flat artistic version. I explained to Melody that the pineapple is a traditional symbol of welcome in the American South, and that it was meant to go on the outside of the house. Jen and John and the kids had sent a very nice card, but it took some explaining when she'd opened up Nate's present. As the time had seemed right I gave up and gave her my presents as well. I'd contacted Fiona's Filigree and had another charm created, this one a small house somewhat in the shape of Colony House. I'd also given her a shawl made out of the same moving liquid type fabric that I'd given her as a Christmas present and an iPod. She'd been confused about the iPod for a while until I'd shown her how it worked. She loved it, and an offhand remark about how the only person she knew who could do something like an iPod was George Weasley had given me an idea. Later that night, though, when she found another box on the bed she wasn't sure what to think. Looking down to see that Churchill had given her the present made her give me a sideways glance, and when she found a flimsy black nightgown inside she'd turned quite red and told Churchill that he was a naughty kneazle.

"Hank? Hello?" She waved her hand in front of me. "Want to watch the next DVB?"

"DVD, Mel. Whatever's fine."

"Go take a walk or smoke that awful pipe or something. You're being cross. Just remember to be yourself in a few hours; we're going over to Grimmauld Place soon."

Crap, I'd forgotten about that. Usually I enjoyed seeing the Potters, but today? "Can we get out of it?"

"Most certainly not. It's the annual Hogwarts beginning of term barbeque."

"Please tell me Harry didn't invite all of the professors…or the new Headmaster."

She shrugged as Churchill walked over and flopped on her lap. "I don't know, but we're going. Go sort yourself out. I'm not dealing with grumpy Hank."

Melody's fears were completely on-target, as I was officially grumpy. Little things that never usually bothered me were huge issues as I'd cut myself shaving, I couldn't find the shirt I wanted and the Floo powder was a giant annoyance. I pulled a pipe out of my pocket and headed outside, saying hello to everybody inside as quickly as possible. I found an empty chair next to the barbeque grill and sat down next to Arthur.

"Bad day, Hank?" Arthur looked at me as if I might explode.

"Definitely. You hear about the new Headmaster?"

"Flurbin? Oh yes. He was in the Ministry for years. Still don't know how he ended up as Headmaster." Arthur shook his head dismissively. "Never did any teaching that I know of. Worked mostly in administration the Department of International Magical Cooperation."

"Well, he obviously didn't work in your old department." I took out my pipe and lit it. "If he had then I would have a decent textbook and regular class periods. And a hell of a lot more students."

Ron came up and handed Arthur and me a butterbeer then sat down. "Hey Hank, has Melody been cooking lately? Did you bring any food over today?"

"Um, no. Ginny said not to bring any food. Melody can only cook eggs Muggle style anyway. Why?"

Ron had a funny look on his face. "It's weird, Hermione said she isn't feeling well, and then Ginny said she felt awful, too. I just figured Melody made an appetizer or something."

"Nope, we just brought some butterbeer." Hmm…I hoped the food would be ok, as I realized that I was hungry. "Anybody start the grill yet?"

Arthur turned to me "We were waiting for you, Hank. Thought we'd do it the Muggle way again."

Ron groaned. "That'll take a bloody long time."

I wasn't in the mood. "Just wizard it up, Ron. I don't feel like being the grill master this year."

"Nice pipe. Very professorial."

I looked up to see George standing next to us. "I like the pipe. It was my Grandpa's."

George looked at me with a sly grin. "And what does the future Mrs. Boyd think of it?"

"Sod off, George."

I walked into the kitchen to get another butterbeer when I overheard Molly and Melody talking. I stopped as I heard Melody say "I don't know what to do, Molly. He's as tetchy as a wounded hippogriff, and now he's started up with that pipe."

Molly's voice was comforting, soothing in tone. "Melody, he'll have to work it out on his own. I'm sure if you just let him be for a while he'll come around. They always do."

Wonderful. I quietly got another butterbeer and headed back outside to find Harry had joined the barbeque grill crew. He was sitting next to Ron, and the two of them were discussing something quietly, most likely secret Auror stuff. I sat down in the empty chair and watched George and Arthur work the grill. At least I'd get some decent sausage out of the afternoon. I looked over towards Harry.

"Is this everybody? Not a big deal like last year?"

Harry shook his head. "Neville and Hannah had something going on with his Gran, Hagrid is out in the Forest, and everybody else declined."

Ron laughed. "So much for being the Famous Harry Potter, eh? Used to be we had to limit the people who came over, now everybody's skipping out." Ron stood up, "I'm going to check on Hermione."

We watched him head to the back door, leaving Harry and I alone while George and Arthur continued to work the grill.

"Um, Harry?"

"Yeah Hank?"

I took a big puff off of my pipe. "Listen, I want to thank you for being my 'anonymous sponsor' last year, but now that I'm officially here for good, I don't feel right taking any of your money." I held my hand up as he began to say something. "Melody gave me some hints. Really, I appreciate it very much, but now I need to make it on my own. We'll be ok, I used the money from selling my house in Virginia to finance Colony House, my book's coming out soon and I have my teaching contract, so you don't have to worry anymore. I just wanted to say thank you, I hope you know how much easier it made life for me last year knowing that I didn't have to worry about expenses."

Harry nodded and gave me an easy smile. "Quite all right, Hank. I understand. Just so you know, you never really touched any of the money I sat aside for you; everything came out of your Hogwarts salary. The only thing the fund was used for were the tickets to America for your brother's wedding. Even Kingsley doesn't have that much pull."

I was relieved. I wasn't a charity case after all. "Hey Harry, I already asked Ron but he brushed me off. I know this may not be completely above board and all, but about Flurbin…"

"Sorry, Hank. I can't do anything officially." He took a sip of butterbeer then leaned over close, his voice soft "but when it comes to Hogwarts I'm very protective. All I can say is that I'm not going to let anything happen to Hogwarts. Let's just leave it at that, shall we?"

The rest of the day went fine with the exception of both Hermione and Ginny's appetites. Hermione seemed to have none, but Ginny had thrown off her earlier condition and had turned into something that even surpassed Ron. The conversation was normal; what was going on with George's shop, Quidditch, semi-important things at the Ministry, and the topic that was coming around more and more these days, the wedding, specifically where we were going to have it and on what date. I kept up with some of the talk at the table, but my thoughts kept returning to the changes at Hogwarts. I had only signed a one-year contract with an automatic roll-over that would keep going to infinity unless either I or the Headmaster decided to end the agreement. Flurbin seemed to think that Muggle Studies was about as important as Underwater Basket Weaving, so who knew how long I'd have a contract? I'd just bought a house, I was getting married and what would happen if I couldn't teach at Hogwarts anymore? What would I do in the Wizarding world? Maybe I'd be able to work at the Ministry in the office of Muggle Affairs or something, but it wouldn't be teaching. I looked over and saw Melody happily talking to Molly; how could I tell Melody all this? If I couldn't find another job would I have to go back to the Muggle world, or back to Virginia? Would she even want to go with me? Fucking Flurbin.

After saying our goodbyes we returned to Colony House in almost silence. Melody put on the kettle and I retreated to my office, put on my headphones and turned up the music very loudly. When I finally turned around I saw the teacup on my desk, and when I went to take a sip I realized it was cold. I'd been in there a long time, longer than I'd thought. I turned off the music, threw the headphones on my desk and carried my cold tea into the bedroom. Melody was reading some Harpies documents, her hair pulled up into a ponytail, quill working feverishly. I stood there for a minute, something was different. She was wearing her glasses, that was normal. Wait a sec…

"Oh. Wow."

Melody put her quill down. "You needed something to get you out of your funk. Do you like it?"

"Definitely. Churchill has good taste." I watched her put her quill and parchment on the bedside table and walk over to me, the sheer black nightgown flowing away from her curves.

"Now Mister Grumpy, don't worry about anything. Not tonight. Just promise me one thing."

"Anything. Keep wearing that and I'll promise you anything."

"Try to stop smoking the pipe, please. You smell like an old man."

Crappy Saturday was history, as I woke up Sunday morning to the smells of coffee and burnt bacon. After putting on my robe I walked into our small kitchen to find Melody dumping bacon into the bin, while a very large amount of scrambled eggs sat on my plate. I sat down at our little table and looked over to her, and she had on an apron, not unlike my Mom's, over my undergraduate alma mater t-shirt. Her hair was pulled back and she wasn't wearing her glasses, but I don't know if she could ever look as beautiful. It was at that moment I realized I'd been completely selfish the day before, that I had tell her everything and we'd figure out what to do.

"My mom would be very proud of you."

"It was only one lesson, and I still can't get the bacon right." She took off the apron and hung it on the back of her chair, then sat down. She took a bite of eggs. "Not bad, not bad. You have to do the bacon."

I quickly fried some bacon and hash browns, and afterwards we sat at the table and started on the rest of our breakfast, the part after the scrambled eggs appetizer.

We hadn't taken more than three bites when an owl appeared at the window. Melody looked over at the owl and then nodded her head towards the window. "Hank, would you get that? Honestly, who's owling at this time on a Sunday morning?"

I got up and let the owl in, taking the letter. "It's for you, Mel. Hey, isn't that the Weasley's owl?" I handed her the note.

"More specific please, lots of Weasleys." She looked down at the note, "Never mind, it's from Hermione."

I went to sit down but another owl showed up at the window. "Good grief, what are we, the owlery?" I watched the owl come in the still-open window, and after taking the note I sat down at the table. "It's for you, too." I handed her the letter.

"Another one? I haven't even opened up Hermione's yet." She looked down. "It's from Ginny."

Before anything else could happen another owl came in and deposited The Prophet on the table.

I looked over at Melody. "Merlin's pants are we owl magnets?" After opening the paper and just scanning the headlines I heard Melody do the girl scream, not unlike the one Hermione had given us in the Ministry of Magic when she found out that Melody and me were engaged.

"Hank, you're not going to believe this. Hermione and Ginny are both pregnant!"

Wow, I wasn't expecting that. "That's pretty quick for Ginny and Harry. At least this time she won't have to tell everybody at a press conference. Hermione has to be happy, but how'd Ron take the news?"

"Hermione's note said that he just sat there and didn't say anything until she dumped water over his head. He's very happy now, though. I'm going to go change clothes and go see them." She got up quickly from the table, almost spilling her tea.

"Calm down, Mel. Don't you want to finish your breakfast? And do you know what time it is?"

I heard the sounds of the dresser drawers opening and closing, and her voice came from the bedroom. "It's fine, I'll get something later, don't worry. Eat the rest or give it to Churchill."

I glanced down at the very fat black kneazle cat who sat very patiently at my feet. "Looks like it's your lucky day buddy."

As it was now just us men, Churchill and I went out into the garden to read the paper. He followed me out in hopes of more bacon, but I'd split the last piece between us earlier. I sat at the garden table and lit my pipe. Churchill looked at me with an expression that said "it would be in your best interests to keep the bacon coming."

I reached down and rubbed his head "Hey, bud, she's not here. Keep it quiet and there may be more bacon in your future."

After a few good puffs and a rotten attempt at smoke rings I took a look at the paper. I skipped over the interview with Flurbin as I wanted to have a good Sunday. It seemed like the usual articles until I found the piece on the WLF. An unidentified man had been found in several pieces stuffed inside a box near the Ministry on Saturday morning. Kingsley was quoted as saying they were following all possible leads and taking all precautions and that the responsible parties would be found and brought to justice. So much for the good Sunday morning.

"Churchill, do you think that means I'm going to have Auror shadows again? The black cat just sat in the sun, sleeping. So much for conversation.

I was thinking about the WLF and all of the problems they had caused last year when I half-noticed a word on the Society page, so I turned back. Holy crap, I knew Melody would go mental when she saw this.

Bramble – Boyd Engagement

Mrs. Lane Bramble is proud to announce the engagement of her only daughter, Melodia Gwendolyn Bramble, to Professor Henry Aaron MacDonald Boyd. Ms. Bramble is the daughter of Lane and the late Hieronymus Bramble, Forthingsgate, England. Professor Boyd is the son of Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Boyd, Florida, America.

The bride is employed as the Press Secretary for the Holyhead Harpies Quidditch team. The groom is the instructor of Muggle Studies at Hogwart's School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

The wedding will take place on Saturday, August 12th at the bride's childhood home in Forthingsgate at 2 in the afternoon.

Holy shit. Melody and I had talked about dates, and that her mother wanted us to get married at her house, but nothing had been settled. Lane had made a pre-emptive strike and put it in The Prophet and now we were locked into the date, time and place. I put out my pipe immediately. No sense in provoking Melody, especially after she saw the announcement. I looked at my watch; it was still early but not that early. I had a feeling it would be a good idea to be out of the house when she got home, as she would obviously see the paper at Ginny or Hermione's place. She might not, due to the excitement, but I wasn't going to bet on it. Bet on it…yeah, I knew where I could go. I went back into the house, threw on some clothes, grabbed my wand and headed to the fireplace. One good pinch of Floo powder later and I was out of the house.

Diagon Alley on Sunday morning isn't the busiest place in the world, so it didn't take me long to make it to Weasleys' Wizarding Wheezes. The sign on the door said "Closed – Go Away Please" but I knocked anyway. A head that looked somewhat like George's, but only made up to look like a clown, bounced off of the wall on a spring and bobbled in front of my face.

"We're closed! Go away! Read the sign! Without delay!"

I waved the clown head out of the way and watched it retreat to the door, so I knocked again, loudly. "HEY GEORGE, IT'S ME, HANK! COME ON, OPEN UP!"

This time another identical clown head from the other side of the door sprang in front of my face.

"Stop yelling! Go around back, I'll open the door."

That sounded like George's voice, and when the clown head returned to its spot I walked around the building until I found a very narrow alleyway, and after walking down its length I reached a door. After several unlocking sounds the door opened, revealing George standing in an old Gryffindor Quidditch jersey.

"Merlin's sake, Hank. What are you doing banging on my door on Sunday morning?"

"Can I come in?"

"Of course, of course. Come on in, I'll put the kettle on." We walked through the back rooms of the shop, boxes piled everywhere. George looked over his shoulder "She kick you out?"

"Nah, she's off visiting…friends this morning. Thought I'd stop by. Have you seen today's Prophet?

He shook his head as we arrived at a very small kitchen at the back of the shop. He waved his wand and the kettle began its business. "Nope, inventory. New shipment of Bouncing Bogey Blasts. Think we've got it right this time."

I knew I shouldn't ask, but I couldn't help it. "Bouncing Bogey Blasts?"

"One of your favorite student's ideas. Causes a sneeze that shoots a massive volume of bogeys in about a ten meter radius. They bounce all over the place, stick to everything and then dissolve after a half-hour or so. First batch stuck like glue, but we think we've got the mixture right this time."

"One of Poesy's?"

He nodded his head and levitated the kettle over, and soon we were drinking tea. "Ok, Hank, I think I know you well enough to know when something's up, and something must be up for you to show up at my shop on a Sunday morning asking me if I've seen The Prophet."

I pulled my copy of the paper out of my pocket, folded it over to the specific page and handed it to him. I watched him read, and then he sat back and gave a low whistle. "I don't blame you, mate. She's going to be hacked when she reads this. I take it you had no idea?"

"Nope. First I'd heard of any of it."

"George?" Angelina's voice came from the back of the shop, and she walked in wearing only her robes over her nightgown. "OH! I didn't know you had company." She closed her robe around her throat and sat down. "Hello, Hank, surprised to see you here."

I nodded, but I couldn't say anything as Angelina interrupted me.

"George, guess who's pregnant?"

I'd only seen George Weasley unnerved a couple of times, but this was worse than any of them. "Uh, we used…"

Angelina shook her head. "Not me, idiot. Guess."

George exhaled deeply, "Um, Fleur?"

She couldn't contain herself any longer. "No, Ginny and Hermione!"

"At the same time?" George looked over at me. "You don't look surprised, Hank."

"That's why Melody left so early." I looked over at Angelina. "How's everybody doing?"

Angelina levitated another teacup over and began adding a spot of milk. "Pretty well, actually. Ginny's a little miffed, she wanted to wait a while before another baby, but Harry is as happy as a gnome. Ron's was in a bit of shock, but Molly's over there now. Hermione is just waiting until he comes down to reality so they can go visit her parents. Right now he's trying to convince Hermione to paint the baby's room Chudley Cannon's orange.""

George began to laugh. Angelina and I just looked at him, and after he stopped he just looked at us. "Can you imagine what Christmas is going to be like this year? Two hormonal witches scaring their Auror husbands? I can't wait."

Angelina just shook her head at her husband. "Try and be good, George. If it wasn't for me Ginny would have bat-bogey hexed the living daylights out of you last time."

"Speaking of hexes" George took the paper and handed it to Angelina "you might want to go see how Melody is doing. After this she might go after her Mum."

Angelina read the paper and her eyes went wide "Oh bloody hell." She stood up quickly "I'm heading back over to Hermione's, that's where everybody is right now. I'll see you later." With that she wandered through the boxes and left.

I sat with George and finished my tea, and then a thought came to me. "Hey George, why didn't she just apparate out of here?"

"Can't do it in the shop. Bad for business if someone picked up some merchandise and then apparated away before paying."

"Smart, George. That's a good one. You think of everything."

"Actually one of Fred's, but it is good. As for thinking of everything, I was going to owl you soon, but since you're here now…" He got up from the table and motioned for me to follow him.

We wandered through the shelves until we came to a very small office. Looking around I noticed papers stuck to the wall.

"Um, George, what's on the wall?"

"Detention notices and letters home. Students send them to me after they've been caught using one of my products. I send 'em some free stuff, but that's not why we're here. Where did I put it…ah!" He reached down and pulled out a box and sat it on the desk. "Usually this stuff doesn't see the light of day outside of the Invisibles, but you're a special case."

What? "Invisibles?"

"Yeah, they're kind of like the lot you showed me on that Muggle screen of yours, the ones that wear black and hide in the shadows. Swords and sharp stuff, those guys."

It took me a minute, but I got it. I'd shown George a ninja movie one time when he and Angelina had visited Colony House. The night he named it, actually. "Ninjas, is that what you mean?"

"Spot on, that's it. The Invisibles are a special part of the Aurors, very hush-hush kind of thing. Started up after the war. If you say anything about them, well, you won't have a happy ending, so after this conversation you've never heard of them before, right?

I nodded my head.

"Good man. I do some very off-the-record work for the Invisibles; help give them some toys to make life easier. I was contacted very discreetly after your first run-in with the WLF to put together some things for you, but that was before we all found out you're not a total Muggle. Still, you're pretty pants with the wand, so I've got the go-ahead to give you this stuff. Planned on doing it later, of course, and I hadn't figured out how to do it so it wasn't obvious, but you've turned up here today. Lucky me, or should I say, lucky you."

He opened the box and began pulling things out. After everything was on the desk, he started explaining.

"Since you can't do anything except set stuff on fire or occasionally do something you can't control, there's no way you can disillusion yourself. That's where these little babies come in." He opened a box of clear little balls with a swirling blue liquid inside. "Instant Disillusion Balls. Crush one of these in your hand and you'll be completely disillusioned, but it only lasts ten minutes."

He pointed to a golden thing about a foot long "Standard sneakoscope. Nothing really interesting, but useful. Part of the standard Auror kit." Then he picked up a silver watch. "Looks pretty standard, doesn't it? Normal wizarding watch. I remembered how you tried to tell Ron that I'd helped you look at watches. Got me thinking, so I came up with this." He handed me the watch, and besides the moving face that looked like the sky, it seemed pretty normal. "Hermione came up with the idea years ago for the D.A., it's a means of sending messages without speaking. Tap the face of the watch three times and it'll send a signal to its partner. That's where this comes in."

He handed me a small charm in the shape of the Weasley Wizarding Wheezes triple-W logo. "Have Melody put that on her charm bracelet. Her bracelet's enchanted anyway, so if she has a desperate need to contact you you'll know right away, and vice-versa. Plus, more advertising."

George smiled at me, then reached over and unfolded a dark grey robe with quills and parchment designs woven into the pattern. "This I'm very proud of, we've incorporated it into the standard Auror robes. Spell-deflecting fabric, won't stop the big stuff, but it should give you some level of protection against minor spells."

"Holy crap, George. You're the Q of the Wizarding World! I feel like James Bond."

He looked at me strangely. "Did you just pull a Muggle on me?"

"Yeah, I did, sorry George. I'll show you the movies sometime." Movies…that jarred a thought. "Hey George, have you ever thought of trying to make Wizarding versions of Muggle stuff? The kind of stuff I have at Colony House?"

"Hmmm…" he scratched his head "might work, have to do some research. You willing to have some of your things donated to the cause?"

I thought about it for a second, "For a percentage, sure."

He stuck out his hand. "Glad to do business with you, Hank. Just remember, if anybody asks where you got this stuff, it was just dropped on your doorstep."