AN: THIS ONES EVEN BETTER! REVIEW!!

WAKING UP

I woke up and I was in a forest. I had dirt in my hair, which was red again and down to my waist in long flowing locks and had no frizz.

I burst into tears, I hated my hair colour! It was so strange, all I wanted was to fit in!

I looked around and noticed I was in a forest, "OMG!" I screamed and jumped up. This was insane, omg, I was kidnapped!!

"HELP!! HELP!" I screamed and fell over a bag.

The bag was black and glittery, it was the one I had wanted for x-mas but my Stepmother had been too cruel to get it and I got a orange instead like what she said she got when she was little.

Inside there was some Lancome Teint Idole foundation, some Max Factor mascara that I totally loved and some lipgloss. I squeeled with delight although I was kinda pissed there wasn't any hair dye.

I tied my hair with a pretty silver broach, with diamonds on it so that it was out of my face. The mascara made my eyelashes darker and thicker, and my eyes looks like a cats. The foundations was totally awesome, it covered up everything and my face looked awesome.

I didn't use the liploss cause I was in a forest on my own and I didn't want to get raped cause I looked like I wanted some. Also my lips were already red and full so they didn't need anything anyway. I giggled and made kissy faces at the mirror.

I smoothed out the shimmery white dress which came just to my thigh but wasn't slutty cause it was white and everyone knows that is the colour of like┘vierginity, and I'm a half virgin anyway. And my high heels were so pretty and had real diamonds in them.

After ages and ages of walking round the creep forest, my high snapped and I fell onto the ground writhing in pain cause it really killed!!

"FFS!" I moaned in pain and tears rolled down my rosy cheeks. I pulled off the high heel and threw it away angrily. The stupid thing!

"Are you okay milady?" a nice voice asked.

I started to say "No I fucking aint!" cause I thought it was the voice that had took me here but it wasn't. It was a man with the most beautiful blue eyes ever, they were like emeralds and I fell in love at once.

I stood up and shouted "I LOVE YOU!"

Then I noticed that he was relally short and giggled. "It's okay, I'm tall enough for both of us." I laughed as I saw that his head only came up to my breasts and he was dazzled by my looks.

People hear were so strange, couldn't they see how ugly I was?

He took through the trees and to the most beautiful city ever! It was all natural and green and glowing.

Then I noticed the most beautiful blonde ever! And he was tall!

I started humming 'I want to have your babies by Natasha Bedingfield' so he'd get the hint and ask me out but he look confused.

I burst into tears again and he looked so worried I knew it would work! Im a genius! And my teacher said I was to ugly to do anything, well Ill use my brain!

I grabbed him and cried onto his shoulder refusing to let go until he admitted he loved me and proposed.

"Legolas!" Someone shouted just when he had wrapped his arms around me.

I looked over his shoulder and saw the prettiest girl ever. She had flowing black hair like mine had been when I was scene and shit. She had even prettier blue eyes than my first boyfriend and the biggest boobs ever, they were so fake.

Tears welled in my eyes when I noticed she had pointy ears not like me. But she wore make up and I knew she hadn't been an elf long, she wasn't as good as a real one and I'd prove she was fraud!

She looked down he perfect nose at me and said, "Are you alright?"

She was trying to make me look like a weak, perfetic idiot! I turned red as I got angry and thought of something really kickass, bitchy to say.

A/N: CHAPTER TWO ALREADY! YAY! Srry for ny mistakes I had ta use notepad.