First idea for a story came from Wootar16 and how Sean felt about the deployment in episode 3x11. I hope you all like it and plz review with ideas. I'll try to get to them all.

He sat on his bed holding the life changing letter in his hand.

Dear. Mr. Sean Pierce

This is a reminder for your deployment at the end of the month. Your special term will be up and we expect you back. We are grateful for your service to your country. We look forward to your future and the future of America. You're to report to the designated address on this letter.

Secretary of the state, Morgan Freeman.

He couldn't believe he was leaving. It felt like yesterday that he came back home. Now he was heading back out to battle, his battle. Part of him did want to leave, the battle he was in had nothing to do with him. He felt useless as he couldn't accomplish much. Now it was time for him to return to his battlefield. It was his life. He was a born Seal.

He wasn't leaving much. But the one thing he couldn't bring himself to part with was the one person he would die for, Alex. He loved her she knew his family and accepted it. That's more than what a lot of people did.

He clenched the letter in his hand crumbling it. He didn't know what to do. He loved Alex, but also loved being a Seal.

"Sean I'm home," Alex said as she placed the groceries on the counter.

He didn't answer he just looked at the letter. He had to choose. Leave his life or leave Alex. He clenched the letter even harder. The turmoil in his head wouldn't stop.

"Sean?" Alex was beginning to worry. He always answered her. "Is everything okay?"

She immediately stop putting everything away and rushed to their room. "Sean!" she opened the door fear building in her body.

"Yeah," Sean turned to her as he pretended to put his clothes away with his headphones in, "I didn't hear you come in."

Alex just looked at him weird. She could tell something was up. "Okay," she walked out of the room knowing he was hardheaded and wouldn't tell her.

Once she was gone he took out the headphones and put his hand in his pocket. The feeling of the paper on his fingertip's just reminded him he needed to pick. But he couldn't do it at that moment. He couldn't even bring himself to tell her. He knew she would be hard on her. "Da# " he slammed the dresser drawer. Why now? Why, when life is just getting better after my mother died?

He walked out of the room putting on a happy face for Alex. "How was your day," she asked him giving him a kiss.

"Fine just walking around," he said going through the food.

"You and your marshmallow fluff," he smiled holding up a giant container of it.

She took the jar from his hands, giving him an amused look.

She opened the lid and placed a small bit on his nose.

"Hey!" he said placing a small bit on her cheek, "I don't even like this stuff."

She laughed at how much she put on him. "I do," she kissed his nose taking off the fluff.

"I think I'm starting to like this stuff," he smiled and then kissing her cheek taking off the marshmallow on her face.

They smiled at each other. Sean placed a kiss on Alex and she returned it. Before they knew it their tongues danced with the other.

Sean felt as if the letter didn't matter. He placed his hands on her hips. She wrapped her arms around his neck not stopping to breathe.

Soon they made their way to their bedroom, spending the night in each other's arms, feeling the others touch. It seemed perfect to Alex. She found the perfect guy and he was always there for her no matter what. Every time she felt his lips on hers, her stomach would dance as if butterflies were filled it. She felt so safe and happy.

Before they knew it morning came. Alex was fast asleep with a smile on her face and happiness in her heart, but Sean wasn't. He had gotten no sleep. The whole night was spent staring at the ceiling, thinking about the letter. Leave or stay, a never ending question.

He looked over at Alex. She was fast asleep her tattoo looking him right in the face. She never told him what it meant. It made him think about the tattoos him and his buddies got in the field. The way they had their own meaning of it, never telling anyone what it meant.

He put his finger on the butterfly. Tracing it time after time. "When are you going to tell me what this means", he whispered.

"Is that what we do now, tell each other all of our stories?" Alex smiled being awakened by his touch.

Sean was surprised he didn't mean to wake her. But he needed someone to get his mind off of the deployment. But he just kept his eyes on her. Maybe I should tell her now? He couldn't get his mind off of it. The result of an answer was inevitable. "Tell you anything you want to know," he kissed her tattoo gently.

"Maybe later," she smiled closing her eyes trying to fall back asleep.

He kissed her one more time before placing his forehead on her shoulder. The talk of future just made his heart beat more. "Well that might be awhile…" he had to tell her. Just one day of knowing was too much to bare, "… I deploy in two weeks." He finally said it. The only heart pounding part was what she was going to say.

He looked at her waiting to see what she was going to say. She just flipped over at looked at him. Her eyes filled with disbelief. "Deploy?" She was shocked, "You're going back to the Seals."

"I never really left," he told her. He now knew his place. He knew that his heart was always going to be with her, but he needed to follow his soul. "I was on special leave. My term is up."

Alex looked away from him. She couldn't look him in the eyes. Her heart felt betrayed.

"Hey… What?" Sean didn't like the way she turned away from him.

Alex took a deep breath and sat up, "I don't know I just thought that since we were together…"

Before she could finish he did it for her, "I was going to join you back at Division."

He kept his eyes on the wall. This was what he was afraid of. The heart break he was going to make her go through.

He sat up and looked her in the eye. "Hey I dedicated my whole life to being a Seal," he wasn't going to just walk away from her. He was going to explain himself, "I can't just walk away from that. It's who I am."

Alex heart was breaking more than ever, but she knew better then to let it show. She looked away from him. The feeling of betrayal was engulfing her. "Yeah."

He hated the feeling he was getting. Her heart was breaking and he was the cause. "Hey," he saw the tears building up in her eyes, "This has nothing to do with us."

She just looked at him. She knew nothing she could say would make him stay. But then she thought of the only thing her heart would letter her speak. I love you.

She opened her mouth about to tell him, "I…" suddenly her phone rang.

She grabbed it as it read Nikita. "Guess who?" Alex said trying to change the subject.

Sean looked at her. He could tell he had crushed her heart and hated himself for it. But deep down inside he knew it had to be done.