A/N The second chapter of my Delena mini-series. I do not own TVD and the lyrics belong to the song What If by Safetysuit. Please review and tell me your thoughts (: thank you!

What If

What if it makes you sad at me

And what if it makes you laugh now but cry as you fall asleep

And what if it takes your breath and you can hardly breath

And what if it makes the last sound the best sound

Elena's Point of View

I knew what I was doing was wrong, but in my heart it felt right. A part of me wanted this simply because I could make this decision and not have to go through Stefan or Damon. I knew without a doubt this last act would define me and I could only hope that it was for the best. I let out a breath and knocked once on the red oak front door, everything was completely quiet and I stared as the doorknob turned. In a split second I felt the irresistible urge to run from the porch and away from the decision that lingered here, but I knew that this was what I wanted and that held me in place.

"Elena?" Her voice came out and there was no doubting the fact that I had surprised her, but there also was a hint of worry that I quickly wanted to put to rest.

"I need a favor Caroline." I sighed shoving my hands in my pockets; she opened the door wider and I followed her into the living room. It was kind of strange how close the two of us had become after she became a vampire, I guess she just fit into my life easier that way. Losing my self in my thoughts Caroline gently grabbed my shoulder which got my attention.

"What's going on Elena?" She asked ushering me onto the couch.

"I need you to change me-" I couldn't finish my statement before Caroline went into her dramatics. I knew as a friend she didn't want this for me, but I came to her because I knew she would be the easiest to convince otherwise so I closed my mouth and let her vent.

"What? You can't possibly expect me to change you? Elena, you don't want this…you can't want this." Her hands rested on her hips and her eyes bore down on me expectantly.

"I'm leaving Mystic Falls and I need to be a vampire to do it. Please, it's the only way I'll truly be safe." I looked into Caroline's eyes pleading with her to go through with it and the disapproving look in her eyes faded into a milder look of disapproval. Her shoulders slumped and her hands fell to her sides and I could tell that she was going to give in. My eyes widened slightly as I watched her bring her wrist up to her mouth and bite into it.

"You'll need my blood in your system before you die." Caroline had a blank expression on her face as she placed her wrist in front of my mouth, but seeing that she was still torn I quickly pulled it to my mouth and began gulping her blood. This should have repulsed me and it would have if I didn't want this so badly, but the delicious liquid seeped down my throat causing a frenzy to begin in my muscles. I pulled away and watched in awe as her skin began healing. "Stand up." Caroline ordered and I didn't hesitate to listen.

Before I knew what was going on she had me pinned up against the wall and I knew she was about to snap my neck; my stomach twisted anxiously and I closed my eyes. I felt a quick jerk of my body I snapped my eyes open only to see Damon forcefully shove Caroline as far away from me as he could. I tried to get out of his grasp feeling angry by the way he was holding me, it wasn't gentle or even protective; it was only possessive. While glaring at him I noticed that him and Caroline shared a look before he loosened his grip on me, but instead of releasing me he pulled me toward the front door.

"You need to leave." He said in a hard voice and I frowned deciding against it.

"No." I crossed my arms in protest, but I could see Damon wasn't in the mood for an argument. He could be so annoying sometimes, I just rolled my eyes and tried to brush past him. He grabbed my shoulder paralyzing me where I stood then, before I could object he lifted me off the ground and set me back down on the porch.

"Stay here." Damon growled and even though I tried shoving him I still ended up with the door shut in my face.

With a bitter sigh I got in my car and drove back to my house, I had nothing to say to Damon and I sure didn't want to hear what he would have to say about this. A few minutes later I walked in my front door only to find Jenna on the couch sleeping, she must have been waiting up for me. I shut the door as quietly as I could, but she stirred.

"What time is it?" She mumbled groggily.

"After midnight." I spoke in a hushed tone hoping that she would drift back to sleep.

"We'll talk tomorrow." Her tone wasn't convincing at all, but I knew she wouldn't forget.

"I should go to bed." I whispered before going upstairs. I flipped my light switch and saw the suitcase on my bed that I had gotten out earlier. I didn't have it in me to pack tonight so I moved it back into the closet. I shut the door and as I turned around I came face to face with Damon who had an unreadable expression on his face.

"What were you doing back there Elena?" I couldn't look at his face, the agony in his voice brought me enough sadness. My heart struggled to beat normally as the realization of what he had saved me from back at Caroline's. I would have become a vampire, I blinked a few times trying to regain my composure.

"You should go." I turned away from him, but instead of hearing his footsteps walking away I heard them coming closer to me. Being around Damon right now would only make this decision harder and pushing him away was something I was good at.

"Tell me what you were doing back there." There was an indignant edge in his voice and it was directed at me. He turned me to face him and our bodies were touching, I couldn't stop analyzing how good he felt against me. He looked down at my lips and I stared at his before looking back into his eyes; they were a mix of emotions and I was positive my eyes matched his. I needed to get him off me so I placed my hands on his chest, but instead of pushing him away I pulled him even closer. He leaned in and I pulled away just before our lips connected.

"I knew neither you nor Stefan would change me so I went to Caroline." I answered his question trying to ease our tension and it worked, his brows instantly furrowed and he tilted his head in thought.

"After everything you want to be a vampire? I'm not buying it." Damon squinted his eyes and I knew he was testing me to see how much more I would tell him, but my mind was stuck on the way his mouth curved seductively around the word vampire. I closed my eyes taking a deep breath willing myself to focus on what Damon had just said.

"I really need to rest, we'll talk about this later." I stated crossing my arms over my chest, he nodded briefly before leaving and as soon as did I shut out the light, but sleep would not come.

I couldn't help but feel like it was my fault for making Damon's humanity come back to the surface, but I kept hurting him by it. I caused him sadness tonight and he was only trying to mask it like every other human emotion he possessed. My mind wandered to thoughts of Stefan and how he would feel about my heart not beating ever again and if to him, it would be the best sound.

I bit my lip knowing it wouldn't be because I wouldn't do it out of love for him or for even something noble. I would become a vampire for myself and that made me wonder if Katherine and I weren't so different after all. Why had Damon come to Caroline's tonight and not Stefan? Why is Damon always the one who's there saving my life and Stefan's the one to comfort me? Confusion brought on the urge to sleep and I allowed it to consume me.