Story 2: The One That Got Away But Never Left

Hello, My name is Kairi. I am 15 years old and completely misunderstood. From my past, I try to keep people at bay. Never really showing the true color of my eyes. Only to some people, I show the true color of my eyes. Like one special girl who captured my attention, and completely stolen my heart.

While writing my stories, on of my admirers and watchers started talking to me. From the moment we started talking, she felt like a kind of girl I can trust. About 2 months later realization hit me. I started to develop feelings for this girl.

Her name: Olette

I don't exactly remember when I started to feel this way, or when I stopped these feelings from trying to take me over, all I remember is she mostly popped in my head whenever I got bored or even when I wasn't thinking at all. In class, I'd find myself starting at random objects and seeing her beautiful face. I am not stalker-ish, I just couldn't help the way I felt about her.

A while after figuring out that her and I may never be together, I cried badly and cast aside all those feelings of her and placed them in a bottle where they laid buried deep within me. I only saw her as my very best friend, and thats all I thought of her.

As the months went on, I dated other people. Like a guy named Raz. He and I were just friends with benefits, until he wanted to ruin everything we had going by asking me to be his girlfriend. Just because he wanted to look at my boobs.

Being the hopelessly pathetic loser I am, I told him yes. After the roller coaster of a relationship, we just became friends, though he still wanted to make out with me. And I told him no, not ever again.

Still till now we are just friends.

After a few months and starting a newer fanfiction that is yuri oriented, I met another guy. At first, I thought he was weird and creepy. I didn't really want to talk to him. After a while I added him to my MSN and we chatted more. The more we talked I kinda got used to him. He grew on me, like a wart.

Then I called him 'some dude' now I call him 'nii-san'.

His name: Riku

He had many girl problems just like me, and though I gave him pretty good advice he never took it and now the girl he liked isn't even friends with him anymore. He told me he felt pathetic, so I reassured him any girl would be lucky to have a guy like him.

He's smart, funny, random, and, dare I say it, handsome.

Now that I think of it, the reason I probably kept him close is because we are alike. He and I, we are hopeless romantics. Even though he thinks he may never find a girl that can return his feelings, I know he will find his true happiness. As he deserves it too, every once he can get.

Though I am a hopeless romantic, I know my place is to be the 'avatar' in a sense. I am one of those people who holds the power to make someone's, other than myself, day happy when its melancholy.

Though I can get people to fall in love and make others happy, I wasn't born with a choice. My only option is to give up my happiness for everyone else's. One night I laid in my bed and thought about it and I weighed mine against those, in the end I chose everyone elses because I am only one person, who cares when there are millions more out there who deserve it more than I.

For a while, I just stopped looking for a girl and focused on my school work and daily home lives. And getting better from my accident. And It was like that for a month or two.

One day, I just wanted to roam around on Gaia, so I logged onto towns and sat waiting for someone to talk. And one person did answer my complete silence. We talked and we had a lot in common.

We talked in private and it was all great and I added her to my yahoo messenger list. After about a few days, she asked me if I wanted to be hers, and I was so happy for the first time in a long while for myself I accepted. I even gave her, her own special name. Hoishii.

She told me she caught herself writing my name on her pants and thought she fell for me. I was so flustered and happy, I was blinded by a truer reality. I have never seen her face, I haven't heard her voice. Exactly who was I dreaming of?

When I started to ask her, she told me she had to go on vacation. And so she did and she promised me she would try to talk to me. I knew it wouldn't happen though. Even till now, one and a half months later she still hasn't said one word to me. But thats fine, when she does, we'll be just friends.

But she's not the one that I considered the one who got away. The one I am getting to is Olette. When I told her about Hoishii she told me she was jealous. After getting it out of her, she told me she might've had feelings for me.

When she told me, those feelings I buried deep within me resurfaced. I couldn't choose. I wanted them both.

In the end, I chose I wanted Olette. At least with her I knew her face, I knew her voice, I knew we were perfect. The only problem was, I was a wimp. I was afraid of her saying, 'I don't want to ruin our friendship'

Thats the main line that makes people afraid of starting something. And I totally agreed so I didn't pursue it much. I just talked to her like we used to, hiding my true feelings. Then we didn't talk for 1-2 weeks.

When we did get back in contact, after I got a new cell phone, I promised myself I wouldn't back out and I would make her mine! I told myself not to be a wimp! And I didn't

I texted her and she texted me back. I was going to tell her when she said, "Guess what! "

I asked her "What?"

She replied the four words I never wanted to hear from her lips "I have a boyfriend."

As soon as she told me, as soon as I read those words, my heart stopped and fell into the pit of my stomach, where then the acid dissolved it. My brain told me to yell at her and hate her, but the remains of my heart whispered, be happy for her. You told her yourself, no matter who she ends up loving, whether it'd be you or someone else, you will be happy that she will find happiness. As long as she is happy, you are, and that's all that matters.

Instead of telling her how I felt, I told her I am happy for you. But not in the way I usually respond. And she knew it too. I reassured her I was fine. But really, I was truly happy for her. That's how mature people handle these things right?

Though I told everyone I was fine, I plunged in depression and denial. My sleeping habits changed, I found myself not wanting to eat though my stomach screamed at me for food. And I found myself exercising hard.

I started becoming a but unhealthy, but I told myself I was fine. Denial isn't the only river in Egypt.

For about another week, I dropped 15 pounds and my mother honestly thought I was on drugs. Though the only drugs that entered me were Midol, maybe some THC, and ecstasy, but that's it.

After talking to Riku, I decided for myself to confront Olette and clear the air. I wanted her to tell me she hated me, or to tell me in her eyes, we are only friends. Either way, it would ease my internal suffering and displeasure.

So one day, I did talk to her. We hammered it all out. Yes there was tears and sadness but in the end, I got over it quickly. Now we are close friends again.

But if I ever have a chance with her, I might take it. Though I am over it, I still can't help the little part of me that knows shes one of the ones I need in my life.

She's the one that got away. She turned me down, but at least it wasn't in a fucked up way. I am just mostly glad we can go back to the way things were. Us roleplaying yaoi and talking about our days filled with fun and news.

But I will forever think of her as the one that got away, though she never left. And thats the way it ought to be...

For now anyways.

END OF STORY

A/N: I think I will turn this into a series of random moments... Not just of love, but of friendships, trials and dreams. Thank you those who noted me and those who became good friends.

NII-SAMA! If you are reading this, I am sorry but this is us... please don't text me and be like 'thats not me you bitch' Come on, its totally us! ILU Nii-sama!! 3