yoo-hoo/panda: hey, now its my turn to take a stab at the duckling cuteness! Enjoy!!
Ed snapped awake. His pillow, in which he had dreamt was stew, was his mouth. Worried that somebody had seen him in this embarrassing position, Ed quickly sat up. Had he fallen asleep at the library? Yes, came the answer as the fog in his mind cleared. A bunch of ducklings had followed him yesterday, thinking he was their mother. Cheeping incessantly, it was a wonder Ed had fallen asleep at all.
Suddenly the notion hit him and he listened intently for a moment. Silence. No cheeping, no fluffy fuzz tickling his toes…they were gone. Where the ducklings had gone, Ed wasn't sure but it didn't matter. Ed threw his hands up and then tucked them behind his head. "I'm free!" He smiled happily as the question of where they had gone began to creep into his mind.
The sound of the small metal hammer hitting the two hollow bells sounded and a hand reached over to silence it. Then as if on an impulse the hand reached for a pack of cigarettes and a lighter. Havoc sat up, keeping his baby blues closed as he exhaled a string of smoke.
"Hm, another day I wake up alone." He mused, the lady he had talked to yesterday was no doubt in the Colonel's bed. Jean felt like a fool, telling her that if she became lonely she could come over anytime via the key under his doormat. A wave of hopelessness washed over him as he reached for his ashtray. "Will I ever win?" he wondered as he tapped the ashes in the tray and was answered by a resentful "cheep".
The baby blues were open now, and with the shroud of sleepiness still on him, Havoc looked down at a fluffy black and yellow duckling. It tilted its small head as if studying him and gave another cheep that seemed to say, "what was that for?". It then stood up and ruffling its feathers, shook off the ashes of Havoc's cigarette.
The simple action that seeped with utter cuteness seemed to knock Jean out of his daze and he looked around. One duckling in his ashtray, three snoozing in a pile on his spare pillow, one navigating the bed sheeted space between his legs, two crammed into the pasta pot he had filled with water to soak it last night, and one using his mussed up hair as a nest.
"Huh." Was all he said as he dazedly removed the duckling from his head and set his baby duck filled ashtray on the bed. Then, standing up Havoc made his way to the bathroom. He turned the water for a cold shower on and went to his closet to gather his military garb. Halfway to back to his bathroom, Jean noticed a series of peeps and cheeps behind him. He turned to look and sure enough, all eight ducklings were in a neat, orderly line after him. Havoc chuckled and shedding his boxers, walked over to the shower.
He opened the door to his shower stall and eight little gratified peeps sounded as the ducklings filed in the shower, as if thanking their 'Mom' for opening the door for them. They were very polite little guys. Havoc, however was not charmed. He didn't feel right showering with the little birds and would be late for work if he waited for them to be done… what the hell was he thinking! Wait for them to finish showering?! Had he lost all his sanity and cognitive thinking?
"Alright, that's it!" He yelled as the eight peeped happily, fluffing their little fluffy feathers. "Get out of my shower you fluffy bastards!!" Havoc yelled exasperatedly.
"Peep?" came the answer followed by eight pairs of black eyes looking every which way. The little demons weren't even listening to him! Havoc expelled a stream of cuss words and the only response he got was the ruffling of feathers in an attempt to get the water off of them.
Havoc punched the wall in exasperation. His military issued car was in for repairs and living too far to walk; Hawkeye had offered to pick him up as she drove the Colonel to work that day. They would arrive in forty five minutes unless she was late. The 1st lieutenant was never late. Things were getting desperate for the smoking 2nd Lieutenant until an idea occurred to him.
Jean began to walk out of the bathroom, whistling inconspicuously until he heard the chorus of cheeps from behind. "Aha!" He cried triumphantly. His attempt to lure them out of the shower worked and he leapt over the bed in an attempt to beat them to the shower. "It is a perfect plan," Havoc mused with a grin. "By time the ducklings get over the bed, I'll be out of the sho-damn it all to hell!!!" He yelled in exasperation, as he stood before five out of the eight ducklings waddle in the shower to join their siblings who had beat him to the punch. It didn't occur to him that they could have waddled under the bed. He looked at the clock realizing that he had had an half an hour to get ready. It was his only choice. He had no other way to get ready in time.
Havoc ran out of the bathroom again, knowing now that the ducklings would follow him and after thinking he lost them around the kitchen table, ran back to the shower…only to find the ducklings beat him to the punch. This began a cycle of Havoc running back and forth only to have the baby ducks climb in before he could shut the shower door or beat him to the bathroom. As this run and chase went on, Havoc had lost track of the time and as the door bell sounded, he was too preoccupied to remember his boxers lay on the bathroom floor.
"What is it?!" he demanded while opening the door. Jean lost his voice and nerve though, as he stood face to face with the visitor: Lt. Hawkeye. Her face was pale and her widened eyes took in her subordinate's birthday suit. Both stood there for a moment, too shocked to speak until Havoc, saluted to Riza. "Forgive me sir, I was not expecting you so early." Havoc explained as the eight ducklings gathered around his feet. Riza identified them as the same little guys who followed Ed the day before. "I'm sorry you had to see this, 1st lieutenant." Havoc continued.
Riza seemed to recover from the shock of Havoc, as naked as a jay bird answering the door in the nude. "Trust me, 2nd lieutenant, there was nothing to see." Hawkeye replied as Roy came up the stairs, not wanting to wait in the car any longer. However when he saw Havoc standing nude in the door way and the ducks at his feet, he burst into laughter. It seemed that Havoc had not woken up alone and decided to comment on it. Riza frowned. "2nd Lt., why are you...not ready?" Hawkeye asked at a loss of what else to say.
"The damned ducks are dominating my damned shower!!" Havoc explained in the most coherent way he could think of. It didn't occur to him that it sounded less coherent than saying the dingo ate his baby. Colonel and 1st lt. exchanged glances before Roy said, "On second thought, come in when ever you're ready, Havoc." He began to walk away but paused and added over his shoulders, "And leave your girlfriends at home."
A/n: hey yoo-hoo/panda here. On behalf of Gem/Racoon and I, we'd like to thank all those who read and reviewed our insanity. I think it is safe to say I made many havoc fangirls happy this chap. Well, Gem/Racoon will be tackling next chapter. Who will receive the eight little ball of peach fuzz next? Will Roy get what's coming to him? Stay tuned!!