All About Emily

Disclaimer: CBS owns Criminal Minds, don't you know that by now?

Summary: Emily's ready to return to the BAU following her integration of her alternate personalities. How will she cope with her return?

A/N: Ok, so here's the second chapter. Not sure how long this story will be, but I do promise it'll start to get more interesting coming up and expect cameos from our not-so-favorite alters.

Thanks for reading, I hope you like it enough to review.

"Did you ever stop to think, and forget to start again?" Winnie The Pooh

The brunette silently sat in Richard's office, looking around at all the awards and commendations on the wall.

She briefly wondered just how much of yourself did one lose when you treat a patient?

She knew how the team lost bits and pieces of themselves with each case and the more gruesome it was, the harder it became.

'It's like looking into an abyss' Emily told herself, 'That's what Nietzsche wrote. And he's right.'

Compartmentalizing couldn't do it alone anymore, that's why there are so many burnouts in law enforcement.

'Elle Greenaway and Jason Gideon' Emily noted, and briefly wondered if that's what caused Dave's early retirement then his return.

Emily flinched when she looked up to see Richard standing in front of her with a concerned look on his face.

"Lost in thought or an inner battle?" Richard asked.

"Just some thoughts" Emily replied, "I wanted to ask you something."

"Sure" Richard said as he sat down behind his desk, "What's on your mind?"

"Talking" Emily told him, "When I work, I compartmentalize my feelings."

Richard nodded in agreement, "Go on."

"Well, that hasn't been working for awhile" Emily told him, "Not with Millie and Mia always taking control."

"Are you worried that if you don't vocalize your feelings that they'll some how take over?" Richard asked.

"That's part of it" Emily said, "But with what I do and what I see, I was wondering..."

"Wondering what?" Richard asked.

"How I didn't lose it sooner?" Emily told him, "How I was able to fight them off for years without even knowing it."

"You didn't need them then" Richard said, "Emily, look at me. When your mind found it unable to cope with the pressure, you retreated within yourself, that's when Millie first took over for the emotional hardship."

"And Mia?" Emily asked biting her lip, she had wondered what aspect of Mia was a piece of her own self.

"Mia dealt with the physical pain" Richard told her, "You remember you told me about when you had to go undercover on the Ian Doyle case?"

"Mm hmm" Emily said, not really wanting to focus on that aspect of her life.

"You created Lauren Reynolds to fit his needs" Richard commented, "How each little nuance enticed him? That wasn't just pieces of you, that was Mia as well."

"I just wish I was normal, you know like everyone else?" Emily sighed "I never in a million years thought that this would be my life. I mean aren't people with D.I.D suppose to have been physically or sexually abused? That's never happened to me."

"Emily, emotional abuse or emotional distance can be just as painful for a child as physical abuse. This was your minds way of being a coping mechanism to deal with stress" Richard reminded her, "You need to realize that a child's insufficient nurturing can be an overwhelming major stress factor. Add to that what you face nowadays as a FBI agent? It's a real wonder that the horrors of what you've seen and dealt with didn't trigger an earlier response."

Inhaling, Emily nodded, "I know, I know."

"What I want from you, when you're home, is to keep writing your feelings and emotions" Richard told her, "And whenever you feel like you're going to splinter off, I want you to back away. Take a break and try to relax."

"Richard, that's not an easy thing if I'm in the middle of a case" Emily pointed out.

"The main point is to try and keep the stress out of your life" Richard assured her, "And to avoid stress you'll need to walk away from a case."

"But I love my job. I just want to get back to normal" she told him, "Being an agent with the BAU was all I want, it's all I want."

Smiling at her, "Then we'll work on keeping that for you."

Richard walked Emily to the front office of the facility, "Good luck, Emily. I'll see you Monday for your first therapy session."

"Thanks, Richard" Emily said opening the door.

A genuine smiled grew on her face when she saw Hotch standing there waiting for her.

Hotch stood there, he felt a sense of relief course through him, seeing Emily more relaxed then the last time he saw her.

Emily hugged Richard, "I'll see you Monday."

"Good luck" Richard told her, watching Emily shoulder her bag, and walk over to Hotch.

"Hey" Emily greeted shyly.

Hotch pulled Emily into a hug, "How are you?"

Emily smiled against his dark blue shirt, while he kissed her forehead.

"You're not wearing your suit?" Emily asked, smiling softly.

Hotch cupped her cheeks for her to look up at him, "Well it is Saturday, and we don't have any cases. So maybe you'd want to drop your stuff off at your apartment and maybe spend the day with Jack and me?"

Emily smiled at that, "Well where is the little guy?"

"Waiting for us at Jessica" Hotch told her, "Come on, lets go home."

Emily felt her head rest against his shoulder when he wrapped an arm around her waist, as the two walked towards the front door.

Hotch parked his SUV in front of his former sister-in-law's home, shutting off the engine he looked over at the quiet brunette. Worried.

"Hey" he called out to her, watching as her head turned to him, "Are you sure you want to do this?"

Emily bit her lip, "It's now or never. Richard did tell me to slowly interact with my loved ones, and I've really missed Jack."

Hotch took her hand in his giving her a reassuring smile as he got out of the car, wandering around to the passenger side.

Emily took a deep breath, "It's going to be ok, Emily. Breathe, just breathe."

The brunette paused once he opened the door for her. Hotch could tell that she was hesitant, but he'd help her through this no matter what.

"It's ok, Emily" he whispered, "Jack missed you."

That made the brunette's heart clench. One of her fears had been that he'd forget all about her, and would be afraid if she ever saw the little boy she loved again.

"Daddy" Jack yelled once he threw open the front door, stopping in his tracks at the sight of the brunette, "Emmy?"

Rushing over to her, the small boy nearly plowed her down as he hugged her legs, "I missed you, Emmy."

Kneeling down, the brunette gave Hotch a smile, as he moved to the porch to speak with Jessica. Leaving Emily with Jack.

"I missed you too, buddy" she told him, her thumb running over the small dimples on his cheeks, "How have you been?"

"Missed you" he told her throwing his arms around her, "I missed you so much, Emmy."

"I'm sorry" she told him, standing up while holding him to her, "But I'm back."

Emily noticed a concerned look that Hotch's former sister-in-law shot her but then gave her a small smile before turning her attention back on Hotch.

She could hear the two adults light whispers, and frowned when she heard Jessica hiss out, "What about Beth?"

That made the dark haired woman pause, who was Beth? Looking down at the boy in her arms.

"Emmy?" Jack whispered, "Now that you're back, you're better now, right?"

"Huh?" she asked, she could feel doubt creeping into his words which sent a new wave of doubt in her self, "Baby?"

Jack pulled his head back to look at her, "Daddy said that the reason you had to go away was because you were sick" his dark eyes searching hers, "You're all better now, right?"

The brunette tried to find an appropriate reply to this when she heard a taunting in the back of her head that made her quickly set Jack down. Her head was pounding and from the torrential pain she had one fear racing through her.

"Emmy?" the boy called out, "Emmy?"

'You didn't think it was going to be that easy to get rid of me?' Mia's voice rang out 'Uh uh. I told you, I'm not going anywhere.'

"Emily?" Hotch called out, watching the brunette's eyes glaze over. Fear racing through him, "Are you alright?"

"Sorry" she said, looking down at the boy giving him a warm smile, "I'm ok. My mind just wandered a little bit."

Hotch furrowed his eyebrows, placing a protective hand on Jack, "Are you sure?"

"Yeah" she told him, "It's just been a long day, sorry."

His dark eyes searching hers for any sign of distress but only saw remorse, he visibly relaxed, "No, I'm sorry, I should've realized that you'd just want to relax after leaving..." he looked down at his son, "The spa."

She gave him a wry look, "One heck of a spa."

Hotch placed Jack into the back of the car, while Emily glanced again at the porch, noticing that Jessica was watching her from the window.

'You think he's going to trust a crazy girl like us with his precious Jackie?' Mia taunted.

"Quiet" she murmured to herself, chiding herself when she got into the car with Hotch looking at her, "So where too?"

"Do you want me to drop you off at home?" he asked, "You know to rest up for the weekend."

Her heart dropped at that, but nodded, "That'd be nice, thank you."

'Never gonna happen' Mia mocked her, 'You think you're going to have the happily ever after with the Stone Cold robot and his kid? Didn't you think that same thing about that bastard who stabbed us?'

"Emily, we're here" his soft tone pulling her from the inner battle with the volatile ego, "Emily?"

"Thanks Hotch" she told him with a forced smile, "It means a lot that you're giving me a chance to..."

He placed his warm hand on her wrist, "Just go slow, Emily. Everything will be fine."

The brunette turned in the seat, "See you later, bud man."

Jack grinned, watching the brunette struggle for the door with her go bag, "Daddy aren't you going to help her?"

Hotch latched onto the door handle, while Emily shook her head, "No, I've got it."

"There's that independent agent I know" he told her, "I'll call you later and maybe we can all hang out at the park or something?"

"I'd like that" Emily smiled, stunned when he kissed her cheek.

Walking into her building, she turned to see the taillights disappear around the corner and grasped onto the wall, "Stop it."

'Oh Emmy, Emmy, Emmy' Mia asked, 'I wouldn't have been woken up if you didn't need me. What's the matter Princess? Is the big bad agent after you?'

"I never woke you up" she hissed, getting into the elevator, "Just leave me the hell alone."

'Uh uh, you need me' the voice told her, 'And we need to find out just who this Beth is.'

"I don't care" Emily said, walking out onto her floor, "We weren't exactly calling ourselves anything."

'Then why are you crying?' Mia told her, 'You either let me loose to remove the obstacle or buck it up and be alone for the rest of our lives? What's it gonna be Princess?'

"No" Emily told her, "I'm not letting you out, Mia."

'Suit yourself' Mia told her, 'I guess I'll just get the free show of you and your damn cat eating take out for the next some odd years.'

The brunette pushed open her front door, looking around at the assembled things that her friends set up for her since her absence.

The only thing missing was Sergio, a quick text message from JJ told her that she could retrieve the cat if she could pry him from Garcia's hands.

'Great, you're more worried about that damn cat then you are about hanging onto your man' Mia told her, 'And you think I'm the push over?'

"Not listening to you" Emily told her, pulling out her medication.

'Yeah, like a pill can really shut me up' the angry voice told her.

'Ladies, ladies, ladies' said the third voice, 'Either you both behave or I'm going to have to take over.'

'Knock it off, stick' Mia told her, 'You know there's no way either of us called you out.'

Emily threw down her bag, dry swallowing her medication and laying on her bed.

'You of all people know that I'm always here, Mia' Millie told her, 'And that incompetent of a psychiatrist we were all forced to see did nothing to help.'

"He helped me" Emily mumbled, the call of sleep taking over, "Please just leave me alone."

'Rest Emily' Millie told her, glaring at Mia from the window that out looked world, 'I'll watch out for you.'

The uptight brunette stood in front of the cage looking out, 'You're not going to ruin this chance for any of us this time.'

Mia rushed towards the bars, 'You're not keeping me locked up again, Millie. I will find away out' the angry brunette told her, 'And when I get out, there's going to be hell to pay.'

Millie stood in front of the window looking out. As the Gatekeeper she knew that in order to protect Emily, she'd have to do whatever it took to remove the threats in her life.

Now she just needed to find out how big of a threat this Beth was and how to dispose of her.

"Retaliation is to nature and instinct, not law. Law, by definition cannot obey the same rules as nature." Albert Camus

TO BE CONTINUED...

Hope you're all sticking with this story, I do promise it'll get better.