Doodles. They litter my pages filling up the margins and some of the lines. I drive myself mad sometimes, I can't control myself. The doodles are my fears, jumbled up and horridly sketched across the page. I'm a crazy artist who doesn't know limits. Yeah, that's who I am. They're silly, weird, stupid. That's what they call them. But no, they are jewels. Broken and red they are, but jewels none the less. Most importantly they're mine, the only thing I've ever owned. Mine. My drawings. My input. My mind. Everything else in my life is out of control, yet I can control them. Make them my own, make them evil, good, sadistic pure. Mine. My own.
There goes the bell, time to close up the control and get back to reality. Yeah. My reality. My hell.
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"Class I'd like to introduce you to our new student, Kairi Henry." Mr. Hiskarky mumbled boringly. The students looked the new student up and down. Said girl blushed uncontrollably and looked at her feet. "Why must they always stare...?" She thought to herself. Kairi could swear she was going to die here. Not a sound was made as all eyes were directed to her. "Class...?" Mr. Hiskarky mumbled a little bit louder, urging the students to answer. The students payed no heed and kept on with their consistent staring. Kairi was now visibly shaking under the attention. She hated standing up in front of an unwanted audience who in deed made it clear that she was not wanted here. "Class, say hello." Mr. Hiskarky grumbled, getting annoyed. The class stared for a few more seconds and then a couple of the kids mumbled a hello. Kairi only blushed harder. This was so embarrassing.
"Thank you class. Now Kairi, you can have a seat next to Namine Shimane. Namine raise your hand so Kairi knows where to sit." Kairi looked up quickly, searching the class for the girl named Namine. Mr. Hiskarky had left and was now getting his materials out of his desk. There was a dead silence. Kairi blushed and started to sweat nervously when no girl raised her hand. Kairi was about to turn and run for the door when finally, a girl raised her hand. But then two more raised their hands, then seven more, until all the girls in the classroom had their hands raised. Kairi fell pale. "This is some sick joke, how am I supposed to know which one is Namine?"
"Kairi, have a seat." Mr. Hiskarky grumbled, not looking up from what he was doing. "U-um..." Kairi started. "I don't want to hear it, just sit down already." Mr. Hiskarky almost yelled. The class snickered. Some of the boys started making weird sounds, and some of the ditzy girls started whispering."M-mr. Hiskarky, I don't know which one is Namine." Mr. Hiskarky grumbled loudly. "Silly girl, she's raising her hand right there!" Kairi looked back at the class and to her dismay; only one girl was raising her hand. Namine. A ditzy, popular looking blond girl who was busy whispering to her group of friends. The group burst out laughing and Namine laughed, turning her head to Kairi and flipping her wavy blond hair with a smirk.
"I-I'm sorry." Kairi stuttered before quickly, running to the empty seat next to Namine. But the embarrassment had not ended there. A red headed boy quickly stuck out his foot and before Kairi could see it she tripped in fell, her books flying across the room. The class broke out in shouts of laughter and hooting. Kairi closed her eyes trying not to cry, but to no avail the tears fell. "Stupid, stupid, stupid! I'm so stupid." Kairi quickly stood up and grabbed for her books, keeping her eyes down as the tears fell. "History...math...English...biology...where is my chemistry book?" Kairi thought to herself. She lifted her face up looking for her book and was met smack dad with a pair of aqua blue eyes. "Looking for this?" The owner of the eyes asked handing her her chemistry book. "Um yeah, thanks...a lot." Kairi whispered, giving a watery smile. "No problem." The owner answered leaning back in his chair. The girls across the room suddenly got quiet, and Kairi suddenly figured that this guy had to be pretty popular. The boy was the player type. A god in his words. He had shoulder length silver hair, the most beautiful eyes you could ever dream of and to boot a fit body. He was hot. He knew it. And he used his hotness to the best of his ability.
"Wow...he is so hot...and nice...and...Whoa, get a hold of yourself girl." Kairi quickly erased her thoughts and ran to her chair before the teacher started yelling at her. The class was still snickering and Kairi was still blushing when the teacher began his lesson. Kairi quickly organized her books and grabbed out some notebook paper to begin taking notes on her favorite subject, algebra. Kairi was in an advanced algebra class, the same level as the juniors. She was proud of this, but did not know that this skill that she had was ultimately to her disadvantage. Kairi was so busy taking notes that she didn't notice the blonde girl next to her who was busy gossiping to her friends.
The blonde, like the silver head boy, was extremely popular. She was the richest girl in the school, an only child, and a self proclaimed goddess. She had to get everything she wanted, when she wanted it, and how she wanted it, no buts at all. She loved putting people in their places and stepping over them. It was her ultimate goal in life to be the chick everyone loved to hate.
"Hey. Hello...? Look at me!" Namine yelled, swiping Kairi's notebook away. "U-um, I need that, please hand it back." Namine only smirked, and threw the notebook over to one of her friends. "Yah, right. Now listen up, I know you're new, and I want to make a proposition. You obey my every word and I'll allow you to sit here. You don't, I'll make your life hell. Got it? Get it? Good." Kairi looked at the girl then looked nervously at her hands. "Oh god, what do I do..." She thought to herself. "U-um, I can't do that." She finally replied. Namine stared. Kairi gulped. Wrong move.
"Ok then, you pick hell. Easy enough choice." She stated before turning back to her own notes. Kairi looked at her hands. She had nothing left to do put try to memorize everything the dull teacher wrote and said because she knew she was not going to be getting that notebook back.
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The bell rang knocking Kairi out of her thoughts. She inwardly kicked herself for not listening or taking mental notes. Kairi had spent the whole class dreaming about the silver headed god across the room. She was infatuated. No, obsessed. He was like her dream man, the one who would come and sweep her off her feet. She knew she had no chance with him, but at least she could dream.
Kairi gathered her books quickly and made for the door. Her next class was art, one of her least favorite classes. Kairi waited quietly as the popular kids walked through the door first. She didn't want to give them any reason to pick on her again. Namine flounced by, shoving Kairi whilst throwing her shimmery hair from side to side. "Remember my promise, scum." She stated loudly, her friends giggling from behind. Kairi flushed in anger and quickly stomped out the door after Namine. Kairi was so furious that she didn't even watch where she was going and slammed into a person right as she entered the door of her art class. Kairi looked up quickly as her books flew from her arms the second time that day. This time she was met with a pair of piercing blue troubled eyes. And for some reason Kairi couldn't take her eyes of them.
They belonged to boy about her height. Wild spiky chocolate hair framed his face, most of it hidden by a black beanie, and his beautiful blue eyes were outlined in black eyeliner. His clothing mirrored the eyeliner in a loose hoodie which sported the words "The Fallen Failure" scribbled in white, and his pants baggy with dozens of chains hanging off the side. Kairi was usually weary of "the gothic freaks" which her mom described them of, but this one had a certain air she couldn't place. Like he was afraid, nervous maybe. Kairi didn't realize she was staring when the boy turned away from her and headed to the back of the room, hiding himself behind an easel. Like a shadow hiding from itself.
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Doodles, drawings. Whatever you call them. They scrawl out over my arm. This time they're lines. They're blood red. My favorite. I'm creating a scene. My scene. My mind. Twisted. Yeah. I think I'll draw some more, this time on my other arm. Up to my elbow maybe. Yeah. More red lines, more doodles, more pain. Next time I'll paint white. Over the purple on my face. Yeah, white. Or maybe I'll paint red. No, that'll cause a scene. Not my scene, theirs. Or maybe I'll paint black. Yeah. Black. Over my heart. And then I'll draw a crooked line down the middle. Yeah. That's what I'll do. A line. A red line.