Zac woke in the middle of the night to find himself alone. He was briefly disorientated. He sat up in bed, fumbling for her phone. 3:15am. He looked to his left where he should have found Vanessa sleeping, but to his surprise, the bed was empty. He listened. He couldn't hear her but he noticed a light on just outside the bedroom. Not a main light, just maybe a flashlight or the glow of a cell phone. He climbed out of bed and reached for his shirt where he'd left it, somewhere on the floor by the bed. After a minute or so of searching for it with no luck he just slipped back into his jeans, leaving his chest bare. He kept quiet as he moved around the bedroom towards the door. Once there, he listened again. Faintly, he could make the sound of Vanessa talking to someone. He glanced to the table beside her bed and noticed her phone was missing. That explained who she was talking to; someone via phone. He opened the bedroom door and stood in the doorway. He could see her now. She was sitting on the window seat overlooking the city of Dubai, wearing only his shirt. Her body was angled sideways but her head was facing the window. She had her knees tucked right up to her chest and one hand wrapped around them. The other was holding the phone to her ear. Now they were in the same room he could hear what she was saying.
"I know that but I cant just tell him," A pause. "Yes, I'm sure. You think I didn't check like, a thousand times?"
He felt awful standing here listening when she clearly didn't want him to hear.
"I cant! Not now! He's spent so much money on this vacation. I cant! No, I wont. I'm not ruining this for him," She was still whispering but she was obviously pissed at whoever she was talking to.
"Oh, I don't know! It wont be pleasant will it?" A longer pause.
"There's nothing else I can do! Unless, of course, you've got a better idea,"
Zac felt almost criminal standing listening to her, betraying her privacy like this but he still couldn't bring himself to stop listening.
"Are you crazy? Tell him? No way. He cant ever find out about this," A tiny pause.
"Why? You know why! If Zac ever found out-" She stopped talking and her neck stiffened. He thought she'd sensed he was there. But she didn't turn to face him, just angled her body right the way around to face the window. The next time she spoke, her voice threatened tears.
"If he ever found out, there's no way he'd stay with me. No way. This could destroy us Ashley," He saw her reflection in the clean glass of the window. She was crying. He longed to go over and make everything better but he knew it was probably best not to.
"I'm sorry. I know, I'm sorry. I just cant believe I got into this mess! I cant believe I've been so stupid!" She was crying harder now, her body convulsing with sobs. He couldn't bear it any longer.
"Baby?" he said, making himself known.
She jerked round, tears streaming down her cheeks. She looked at him. The look in her eyes broke his heart. She looked so small and vulnerable and… breakable.
"Zac, I…" She tried to speak but tears choked her and she sobbed heavily. Zac rushed over to her, wrapping his arms around her and pulled her in as tight as he could. She continued to sob, soaking his chest with salt water, her tiny body convulsing rapidly in his arms. He wanted to cry himself. Seeing her like this and being completely powerless to make it better was literally tearing his heart. Other than kissing her hair and whispering to her that everything would be okay, stroking her back and rocking her like a baby trying to soothe her, there was nothing else he could do. Her tears weren't even beginning to subside 5 minutes later and Zac was going crazy with worry. She suddenly got up quickly and ran to the kitchen sink. Zac held back her hair as she threw up violently. Her body shook and convulsed and tears streamed her cheeks. He reached for a glass, still holding her hair back, and filled it with water. She sat down weakly on the cold kitchen floor, and leaned her head against the wall. Zac held the glass of water to her lips and she sipped it feebly. He stroked her hair with his free hand. Beads of sweat formed on her forehead. She looked so sick and fragile.
"I am so so sorry you had to see that," she croaked.
"Ssssh," he whispered, still stroking her hair.
"No seriously, I'm so sorry," she persisted.
"Baby, its okay. Are you alright?" he pressed a hand to her forehead.
"I'm fine," she said, though the contradiction from what she said to how she looked was night and day.
"Don't lie to me baby,"
"I'm not, I promise. I guess I just cried too hard that's all,"
"You sure?"
"Yes. Look, I'm just a little light headed. I'm tired," she tried to stand but her legs couldn't seem to hold her weight.
"Baby, let me help you," he said, putting one hand under her knees and the other behind her back and lifting her off the floor. She made a weak attempt at protest but soon gave up and lolled her head against his shoulder. He kissed her forehead and she closed her eyes. He carried her into the bedroom and laid her gently onto the bed.
"You okay baby?"
"Yes,"
"Anything I can do for you?"
"Yes. Turn on the air conditioner and leave me alone," she sighed, burying her head in the pillow.
He did as she'd asked, turned off the light and headed for the door.
"Zac?" she whispered.
"Hmmm?"
"Thank you," She gave him a small smile.
"Anytime. Anything for you beautiful," He wasn't sure but he thought her saw her roll her eyes. He smiled to himself and left the room.
After he'd cleaned the kitchen and rinsed the glass through, he stood resting both hands on the edge of the countertop. He sighed deeply trying to make sense of everything. Feeling like some sort of CSI agent, he tried to piece together what he knew. First, there was her almost fake excitement to take this vacation. Then, there was her reluctance to talk to him about what was bothering her yesterday. Then, last night when they had gotten back from the beach, she had refused to make love to him, almost guiltily saying she was tired and turning away from him. And then of course, the phone call. She had clearly been talking about him to Ashley, her best girlfriend.
"I checked like, a thousand times… I cant tell him… There's nothing else I can do… This could destroy us…"
He replayed her conversation over and over in his head.
"You don't think I didn't check a thousand times? I cant tell him… This could destroy us…"
Zac gripped the edge of the counter. He shook his head quickly, pushing the thought from his mind. He glanced to the bedroom door. She wasn't. She couldn't be. Right? He almost laughed at how crazy he was being. But deep down his stomach was twisting. He stood up straight and rested his hands behind his head, exhaling deeply. He needed to talk to Vanessa.
Vanessa had long stopped trying to get to sleep. She listened until the sounds of Zac cleaning the kitchen subsided. She thought back. Cringing, she felt herself blush. She couldn't believe she'd let him see her like that. But amidst all the embarrassment she felt a sickening sense of fear. How long had he been standing behind her before? What had he heard? What was she going to say to him? What was she going to do? She tossed over in bed, facing the wall by the door to the balcony. She got out of bed and walked to the door. Outside on the balcony she sat down on the concrete floor and leaned her head against the railing. She closed her eyes and tried to create an imaginary breeze. The night was too humid, uncomfortably humid and she felt herself beginning to perspire even though all she was wearing was Zac's shirt. She tried not to think about anything but that was impossible when she had so much to think about. She heard Zac enter the bedroom. She stood up and headed back inside.
"Ness? I thought you were sleeping. You okay?"
"I cant sleep. And its just too hot inside and out," she said, trying to sound as normal as possible. Zac was distracted; something was bothering him, she could tell.
"Baby I-"
"Zac I-" They both spoke at the same time. She smiled sheepishly and gestured to him to continue.
"Vanessa, I heard you on the phone earlier," he said, not meeting her eyes.
She swallowed. Subconsciously, she'd known this all along.
"Zac, I can-" she started to speak but he cut her off.
"Don't,"
"What?"
"Lie to me,"
"I wasn't going to lie," she lied.
"Don't bullcrap me Vanessa,"
Now he was mad. Great, she knew how to make this situation easier, she thought sarcastically to herself.
"Want the truth?" she asked, stalling, preparing herself for what she was about to say.
"Please, if you wouldn't mind," he was still pissed but she could see the concern in his eyes.
She sighed. This was it. She thought about lying but quickly realised there was no point. She was going to tell him. It was inevitable. She sighed again and her eyes teared up.
"Please don't cry sweetheart," he murmured.
This made her want to cry even more.
Sweetheart.
She fingered the ring on her finger. The one Zac had given her. A promise to love her forever. A promise that was about to be broken.
"I don't know what to say," she said sitting down on the edge of the bed with her back to him.
"Can I ask you a question?" Zac asked.
Vanessa didn't speak. He knew.
"Don't bother. You already know," she said, waiting for the moment when this would turn into the worst day of her life. She waited. He didn't speak. Neither did she.
"Baby, are you… pregnant?" Zac asked quietly.
Vanessa couldn't answer him. She began to cry again. Suddenly she was in his arms, tightly inside his embrace, her tears soaking his shoulder. He rocked her and whispered into her hair. She needed to stop crying. It wasn't helping anyone. After a minute or two Zac placed one finger under her chin and lifted her head up gently.
"Its okay beautiful," he whispered, catching a tear and wiping it from her cheek with his thumb. His eyes met hers but for one of the first times, Vanessa felt awkward and quickly looked away. He pulled her up from the bed next to him and onto his lap. Vanessa still couldn't meet his eyes, though she slid an arm around his waist and placed her other hand on his chest.
"Its not okay. How is this okay?" she whispered, in fear that if she spoke aloud she would cry again.
Zac hugged her tightly. He sighed.
"I just don't understand. We've always been so careful," he trailed off, lost in thought.
"Not always," Vanessa said quietly.
"When?" Zac asked, trying to meet her gaze.
"Last month, after Ashley's party. Maybe we drank more than we thought we did, I don't know. I just, I remember, you didn't… I didn't… I forgot…" she stopped.
Zac stroked her hair.
"I'm sorry," she whispered.
"Don't be. This isn't your fault. I'm sorry,"
"Stop it. I knew what we were doing was wrong and I didn't stop you. I should have stopped you. And even the next day I could've gone to the doctor for… Its my fault, not yours,"
Zac chuckled lightly.
"What could possibly be funny?" Vanessa snapped.
"Sorry baby. Its not funny I know. Just, look at us blaming each other. It takes two to tango!"
Vanessa didn't want to laugh. In fact, she was pissed that he seemed to see this as a joke. But his smile was so infectious.
"This is not funny Zachary," she smiled.
"Then why are you smiling?" he grinned.
"I cant help it! Its you!" she giggled.
Zac laughed and hugged her. She slipped her hands around to the back of his neck and placed one leg either side of his hips. Only now would she meet his eyes.
"What are we gonna do Zac?" she asked, dead serious again.
"What else can we do baby? We don't have any other choice,"
She knew what he meant. She knew he was right. They only had one option.
"Zac, I cant. Its against everything I've been brought up to believe in,"
"Sweetheart, you have to. There's nothing else you can do. If things were any different, if we were anybody else, it wouldn't have to be like this. I don't want this anymore than you do," he whispered, massaging circles into her shoulders.
"What are you saying?"
"You know what I'm saying,"
"So, if we were anyone else. If our lives weren't watched by the rest of the world. If we weren't Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens, you're saying you'd want to keep it?"
He didn't answer her.
"Zac seriously. Answer me," she said quietly, twirling her fingers in his hair.
He sighed.
"Vanessa, there is nothing in the world makes me happier, than you. Nothing. And nothing hurts me more than seeing you hurting. And what we're gonna do, will hurt you. So baby, you can see why, if our lives were any different, the right thing to do would be completely different to right now,"
Vanessa smiled.
"So, this whole thing, it wouldn't freak you out at all?"
Zac smiled back.
"Not at all,"
Vanessa sighed, smiled and then laughed.
Zac looked amused.
"What?" he asked, a smile spreading across his face.
"You're going to think I'm crazy," she laughed.
"I already do sweetheart," he joked. "Just tell me,"
"When I first found out, I was so afraid to tell you. So afraid. I thought that if I told you you'd leave me. I thought you wouldn't want to be with me anymore," Vanessa's smile got smaller and smaller as her confession tumbled from her heart.
Zac made sure he met her eyes before he spoke.
"Vanessa Anne Hudgens, you are the most important person in my life. You make me happier than I ever thought I could be. I cant imagine my life without you baby. I love you,"
Vanessa smiled, blushed and looked down. She was bad at taking compliments. Especially from Zac. She felt him laugh. He knew she was too. He kissed her forehead. She reached up and twirled her fingers in his hair, pulling him towards him. Their lips met and Vanessa stopped thinking. She forget herself and kissed him. Her previous shyness forgotten, her previous concerns not longer relevant. Here, in her arms was the most perfect man in the world. The man she loved with every part of herself. The man she would happily die for. The man she wanted to spend the rest of her life with. The man who seemed to want her in exactly the same way.
"I love you," she said breathlessly, over and over, punctuating each phrase with a passionate kiss. She felt him smile. She smiled too; she couldn't help herself. They stopped kissing and just held each other close, Vanessa still sitting on his lap. After a while Zac said,
"You know its almost 5am right?"
"You're kidding. We really stayed up the entire night?"
Zac nodded and looked towards the window.
"Whaddya say we head down to the beach and watch the sunrise?" he smiled.
Vanessa smiled back. "I couldn't think of anything else I'd rather do,"
When Zac and Vanessa got down to the beach, the sky was turning pink at the horizon. She took his hand and they walked towards the tide together. When the water reached her knees they stopped walking. Zac put his arm around the back of Vanessa's neck and she put hers around her waist, resting her head on his shoulder. He twirled a piece of her hair in one hand. They both stood watching the sun rise over the horizon. She didn't know how long they stood there but in that time the sky went from pink to a light blue. The sun went from an orange semi circle to a pale yellow sphere just above the horizon line. Apart from the light early morning traffic and the crash of the waves, it was a very tranquil start to the day. The cool water against their skin was perfectly refreshing. The air was warm and there was a light ocean breeze. Vanessa closed her eyes and breathed in her favourite ocean smell. At this moment, she realised that no matter what happened, it would be okay. As long as she got to stay with Zac, forever, she'd be just fine. She kissed his shoulder.
"I love you so much," she whispered.
"I love you too beautiful," he whispered back, kissing the top of her head.
Vanessa smiled. "Fancy a swim?"
Zac smirked back. "Right now?"
"Right now,"
Zac slipped off his shirt so he was just in jeans.
"Ready?" he asked, throwing his shirt back onto the dry sand.
Vanessa giggled.
"You know I was kidding right? I just wanted to see you do that," She rubbed a hand across his stomach and winked.
Zac laughed.
"You were kidding?" he said, a crooked smile appearing on his face.
"My bad," she laughed.
Zac stopped laughing and looked at her, a playful smile about his face.
"Don't even think about it," she said, taking a step back, almost certain of what he was about to do.
"Think about what?" he teased, stepping towards her.
Vanessa took another step back.
"This dress is new babe. Please don't," she tried.
"Take it off,"
"Oh sure. I'll just go naked on the beach. Sure," she said sarcastically.
"Wouldn't bother me," he simply said, still edging towards her.
"Zac. Don't,"
Too late.
He swept her up off her feet, spun her around in the air and then lowered her further and further down until she was almost in the water.
"ZAC! STOP! DON'T!" she pleaded, laughing uncontrollably.
"I cant hear you!" Zac teased, lowering her further still. Vanessa felt the water on her back.
"ZAC! MY DRESS!"
"I'll get you a new one!" he laughed, letting her go right into the water.
Vanessa screamed as the cold water soaked her.
"I hate you!" she yelled, splashing him with as much force as possible.
"I love you too!" he yelled back, diving under the water away from her splashing. She followed him, taking a deep breath in preparation. She swam fast to catch up with him and climbed onto his back. He smiled at her and swam up to the surface. They'd barely got their heads above the water level before they were laughing endlessly.
"Sorry about your dress baby," Zac chuckled.
"Ah, forget it. It was ugly anyway," Vanessa giggled back.
"Did anyone ever tell you how beautiful you are?" he asked.
Did anyone ever tell you how painfully sweet you are?" she asked straight back.
Zac smiled.
"Duh, all the time," he joked, sliding Vanessa from his back to facing him in the water.
"Get over yourself," she teased back, rolling her eyes. He kissed the end of her nose. Vanessa suddenly yawned involuntarily.
"Someone's sleepy," he smiled.
"Nah. I'm just completely jet lagged and having slept in over a day. I'm fine," she said sarcastically.
"Lets go back to the hotel baby,"
"Please," Vanessa smiled.
They swam back to the shore and walked up the beach towards the hotel. Out of the blue Zac said,
"S'gonna be okay baby. Y'know that right?"
"I know," she replied.
"Hmm?"
"I know. As long as I get to keep you, I don't care what happens,"
"I'm yours, as long as you need me,"
"Promise?"
"Here's my promise," He reached into his shirt pocket.
"I thought this one was getting old," he said, taking Vanessa's Kuuipo ring from her finger.
"Besides, this one says it all," He placed a new one on her finger, replacing it.
"It says 'Mahal kita'. Filipino for-"
"I love you," Vanessa finished his sentence as he did too.
She took his face in her hands.
"I love you too," she whispered, breaking all Dubai rules, and kissing him in a way she'd never kissed him before.