Here's...something. I didn't intend to write this, and I'm not entirely sure where it came from. C'est la vie. I'll probably re-do it as soon as I find the references I've been looking for.
Disclaimer: I don't own DN Angel nor its affiliates. That doesn't stop me from messing with them, though. (mwahahah)
Satoshi, Dark, Krad. They all want the same thing, but deal with it in different ways. To be accepted. To be wanted. To be loved. But who would love them as they are? They know it is hopeless.
Satoshi knows he is worthless. A vessel for a homicidal curse, with only one purpose in life- catch Dark. Of no value, except as a tool or a toy.
Dark knows he is not real. He is here today, gone tomorrow. At any moment he might close his eyes, and when he opens them again, everything will have changed. He has nothing to offer. His existence is a fleeting dream; no-one can truly love an illusion.
Krad knows he is unwanted. Ignored, rejected by even his other half, part of himself. He is alone in his darkness, and he will remain alone. He reaches out, he destroys, he rages, he mocks, because if he is hated, they will see him, and he is real, he is important to them, they cannot ignore him, the shattering glass and the broken dolls and the blood and the screams make him real, it is proof that he exists, because if he didn't then he could have no effect on them. But he must keep destroying, must keep breaking, continue to be hated, because he cannot be sure that what is in the past is real. What is here, what is now, is the only thing he is sure of. What happened in the past may have been a dream. He thinks, sometimes, that he might be a dream; and if he is a dream than he will be a nightmare, because nightmares are remembered, and that makes them real.
Destroying things makes them his , too. Owning things makes you real. Humans owned things, all sorts of things, until they died. Krad didn't have his own body, so he couldn't keep things he owned with him; but if he destroyed them, then they were his, forever. No-one else could ever touch them. He'd be the last to touch them, to see them whole and beautiful and that too made them his; almost intimately so.
Satoshi was his. Satoshi's life revolved around him, more so even than it did Dark. He owned Satoshi, he possessed Satoshi. Satoshi was beautiful, and a little bit broken, in a way that made it clear that he was important to Satoshi. He had made sure Satoshi always thought of him, and he protected Satoshi. He made sure Satoshi stayed away from others, that Satoshi knew what would happen if he got close to anyone except Krad, because Krad would hurt anyone who hurt his Satoshi, even if that meant hurting them before they had the chance. Satoshi belonged to Krad, and Krad would protect his own.
He has to capture Dark, because when he is back with his other half he will be whole. They will be whole, and this emptiness that gnaws at him will go away, and he won't be alone anymore. But his other half keeps running, and it's so frustrating, he doesn't understand , why Dark won't just come back, why he's with those Niwa and keeps leaving him alone, always alone. He hates being alone in the darkness, being ignored, being rejected over and over and over and he will make sure no one will ever ignore or reject him again.
And in the little Niwa brat's eyes he sees acceptance, and that terrifies him, because if he is accepted is he still real? And this Niwa, Niwa stole his other half from him, they left him alone, they're the reason he's alone, they're keeping Dark from him and without Dark he can never be whole (and if the Niwa accepts him what if it's not enough and he's still empty?).
Krad recognizes Daisuke's light, his warmth, and craves it. He craves it as much as it terrifies him, and hates the little Niwa as much as he can't help loving him, wanting him, because he's been lost in the dark for so long, and there is no warmth here in the Hikari, only searing heat or icy coldness. And he wants to destroy the Niwa for making him hope in spite of himself. Because even though he knows it'll never happen, that it can't be real, that if he ever actually took a step towards the light it would disappear like the illusion it is (or maybe reveal him for the illusion he is?), it makes him hope, and that hurts more than never hoping at all. Because he will be standing there with his broken hope alone in the icy darkness, and know what it was to be warm and in the light, and know he will never be warm or illuminated again. And it will be so much worse than never having known.
Daisuke, with his light, his warmth, his impossible promise, has taken Dark from him, is taking Satoshi from him, taking everything from him. He cannot help but envy Daisuke, who has and is everything Krad wants. One day the Niwa, thief that he is, may take Krad from himself, and he will have nothing, and be nothing, and he knows it and hates it and fears it, but he can't stop wanting.
A/N: Unlike Dark, i think Krad is prone to introspection. However, being somewhat insane, his reasoning leaves something to be desired.
I know there's an excess of italics, commas and names, but this is supposed to be Krad's POV in one of Krad's less...lucid moments. I think madness is like living in those crazy dreams you get when you're running a fever of 102 and doped up on meds. Freaky and surreal, and everything seems so incredibly urgent at the time. I apologize if it's difficult to read. And kind of creepy.