Author's Note – Try reading this with "Born into this World" of the Little Busters! OST.
Here is a URL if you want a quick link. Please remember to leave your thoughts, I poured a lot into making this.
Born into this World - watch?v=cikD4AvGuH4&list=PL0B7EB8CDA1B02282&index=36
Aftermath
Pain... Nothing but pain was all around. A horrible stench filled the air.
I'm... back...
Kurugaya lied her back inside a toppled and wrecked bus, the body of Saigusa lying next to her. Kurugaya tried to open her eyes.
She mentally cried out.
It hurts to even think about it...
Her entire body was unmovable, there was no way she could even hope to even move her lips, it hurt so bad...
So... it is real. Even after that semester, the month I got to spend with everyone and more, it was all... really just... a dream...
But she knew... She knew the dream was real, and now she was back in the real world. The smell of gasoline was heavy and unavoidable. She could feel her stomach twisting knots and her body urged to alleviate it, but she was completely paralyzed. She could see nothing but black, she wasn't even in the void anymore... She was just waiting now... Waiting for the unavoidable fate. No goodbyes to her new friends, no farewells, no more chances to feel, just waiting for death.
I wish I was not even here... Kurugaya breathed very slightly, her lungs couldn't even handle an ounce of air. Her organs felt like they were on fire, her body was numb down to her fingertips, she couldn't even gather the strength to part her eyelids.
Riki... I wish... I could stay with you...
Memories of their time together came into her mind's eye. Her first real meeting with him, sneaking up and blowing against his ear.
I wish we all didn't have to suffer like this... Riki... Rin... I want to protect you... I wish to spend more time with you...
She could feel herself drifting away slowly. Nothing was possible for her now, where once she was able to do anything, now she was completely beyond hope.
Guys... I had so much fun with you all...
She could see herself on the field, practicing baseball with the lot of them. The idea of Rin throwing marvelous pitches, fast and curve balls, she loved every second inside that world.
Kurugaya cringed on the inside, the pain was unimaginable. Both the mental and physical was overwhelming.
I want to be with you all to the end, but... this is the end, isn't it...
Numerous memories played out in her mind of the time they all spent inside that world, the good and the bad. Komari's crying, Kud's disaster with her mother and going to her home, Saigusa's corrupted relationship with her own twin, Mio's weakness to overcome her own demons. Then there were the times when all had been fixed. Their first baseball game, which ended in a loss, they still enjoyed themselves. The pancake party that was hosted, it was something she'd never forget... And then there was him, Riki, who had showed her what it was like to experience feelings.
Please, let me come back... The voice in her mind was weak, but she desired to come back to that world. Would she be able to? I have to, please...
A void surrounded her, but the pain was still there... She could see her hand, lying in front of her on the black void ground. She tried to move, and a stabbing wound shot through out her entire body. Kurugaya cried out loudly, her hand falling instantly.
The girl weakly opened her eyelids, half-void eyes visibly shining as she tried to look up forward. She could see him, Kyousuke, running to her. He was bathed in an orange-red glow, just like his smooth hair. He was racing for her, but he didn't seem to be getting close fast in the slightest. A weak smile caressed her features.
"Kyouse...ke..." She slowly lifted a shaking hand to him.
Kyousuke reached out to her, but his reach was far from her. "Kurugaya! Hang on!"
She could tell he was tired and that he was hurting. Something had went wrong in that world, and he was still going to try.
I'm still welcome to come back?! Please... "Kyouse...ke... I..."
"Kurugaya!..." The voice was more distant than before, and she began to lose sight of him. The slightest sign of her smile, her hope vanished. Her eyes became emptier as she realized he could not reach her and pull her back in, away from all the pain until it was time to go and leave the world forever, leaving Riki and Rin behind.
"Kyousuke!?" Kurugaya desperately reached forward, but her arm instantly shot back down from a surge of harm all over or ribs and arm. Tears started to come, they edged to the surface of her eyes, threatening to pour as her only hope for alleviation fell into darkness. "Kyouse... ke..." Her head sunk down and lied on the ground, tears flowing slightly. Her body had lost all strength, even in this void between life and the end. "Please... Don't leave.. me... all alone..."
That was it, nothing but darkness closed in. It was like a predator, it enveloped and devoured her completely, she could not even see herself as the familiar unkind feelings came back. The putrid smell of gasoline flooding her sensitive nostrils and threatening to destroy her. She could hear a spark sounding in the background. The end was too near... and it was too clear.
Riki... please forgive me...
She sniffled in her mind, it was impossible to breathe now.
I'm so sorry... Riki... I should... not have put you through... that endless day... It was selfish of me... I had never experienced... anything like I was... before... It was... selfish of me... to do that... and take away so much... of their time... I... hope you will forgive me... when you undeniably learn... the truth... The truth about... what has really... happened... I will miss you guys... All... of you...
Kurugaya shook slightly in her mind, tears struggling to flood out of her.
I had come to know... each and everyone of you dearly... Komari... you kind and innocent girl... You always... did your best... to look on the positive side of every situation... Saigusa... I always enjoyed your fun and... our time together... I'll take it with me... into the next world.
Tears were flowing from her, as she heaved and sobbed inside her mind.
Mio, your love for novels and stories... was unlike many I'd seen, and you made... an excellent team manager... Kud, I always found everything you did... cute and funny... Every word you said was filled with cheer and optimism... I'm going to miss hearing it... Kengo, so strong... and noble, yet childish and naïve... Thank you for finally spending time with me... with us... Masato. You are an idiot, but I will love and cherish every moment with you... You made every second fun and new, and you never gave in to what was really... happening to us... Kyousuke... Thank you... Thank you so much for giving me this chance... This chance to live, to really... live... I will never be able... to express my gratitude...
Kurugaya cringed heavily. The pain was too much, but yet it wouldn't end. Her body felt like nothing she could describe, wars were inflicting all over her, and she was sure it was the same for the others. What were they thinking? Were they thanking the others with their last thoughts, or were they wishing they did not have to leave their dream? She would never know... and they'd never know her own. That was the fate instore for them, to die inside this vehicle. To die in a flaming inferno that would no doubt be set ablaze in mere minutes, maybe seconds. Every moment was something to love now, and the darkness was their only friend to talk to. Her body was completely unresponsive, even her lips could not part. Gasoline was surely flooding their lungs as they desperately clung to life. Bones wrecked, muscles strained and stretched, minds knowing they are about to fade away.
Rin... Riki... Please... Remember us... Please, don't forget about the time we all spent together. That world may have been a dream, but to us, it was so much more, and I'm sure it was to you too... Please, grow strong, be what Kyousuke wanted... Surpass him, take care of yourselves and live on for us... Please...
Her mind blanked out, now there was nothing to cling to... She was just too weak. Everything was fading, her feelings were falling, her body was warring and destroying itself, trying to survive... There was no point anymore, but...
I don't want to die...
Kurugaya lied motionless on the side of the bus on the cracked window, barely breathing.
I want to spend more time with you all... I wanted to have more sleepovers, more parties, more activities... I wanted to feel more, experience more, there is still so much I want to do... And I want to experience all of my firsts... with all of you... I don't want to die...
I don't want to die.
…
This is so unfair... What had we done to deserve this? Nothing... We did not deserve this... So why, why was this happening? Riki! Riki... Please...
Kyousuke... please do something... You always did something, please...
I don't want to... die... I still want to experience love...
…
…
A small noise came...
Kurugaya tried to move, but it was too much, her body couldn't take it... Motionless, complete nothingness.
A quiet voice was talking from somewhere, but where? Was someone awake? Was it her imagination?
A footstep sounded on cracking glass. A small exchange of voices came, it was a boy and a girl. Kurugaya wanted to see them, see something, but her eyelids hurt too much. Her head ached hard, she felt blood running down her mouth and forehead.
The voices stopped, and it sounded like something was being carried away. Kurugaya tried to breathe, but the gasoline kept flooding in. She couldn't even gag or cough the poison out, her body refused to allow her. She was completely messed up.
The cracking of glass came again, and it was approaching her. A voice came to...
It hurts... It hurts to much... Kurugaya wished to see who it was. Pain was all around her, it was all she knew now, but... I have to try...
Her eye barely slitted open, hardly budging. She was so weak, it was shameful, and she didn't care. Two recognizable shadows were over her, but they seemed so caring. A voice came from the one she could see, it was the boy's. He knealt down to her.
Kurugaya's heart skipped a beat.
Riki was kneeling over her with a determined look on his face.
"Becareful with her... She's hurt really badly, worse than Komari..."
Riki? What... are you doing?
A soothing feeling came over her as Riki carefully wrapped his arms underneath her. It was so foreign to her by now, she could have gasped.
"Okay, on three... One... two... three!"
Pain completely overtook her entire system, it was much worse than anything she'd felt the past year, but strangely, she welcomed it. She desperately tried to keep Riki in her blind sight, she so dearly wanted to smile, but her lips were unresponsive.
Riki? You're going to save me? You... and Rin? You... but, what about the plan?
She felt her body sway to their walking, Riki's forearms harshly rubbing against her battered ribcage. She could feel blood slowly flooding its way into the recesses of her mouth. It was metallic and bitter, and yet she could hardly swallow it. But on the inside, she smiled pathetically. She loved the feeling of his arms around her, even if they brought pain to her.
You both... are going to save us all? Even though it all could end in a second? You'll risk your one and only life... to save us?
Soft grass welcomed her. She watched Rin and felt Riki ever so gently set her down on the grass, making sure they did not give her anymore pain than what she already suffered. She watched them both go for another person without a second thought. They knew how dire the situation was, how fragile it is. In a second, everything could unexpectedly end. And yet...
They are saving us...
More students joined her and eventually her friends, and it wasn't long before another new noise was heard. Kurugaya wondered what it was. She wished she could speak up, but her throat... Blood was clotting it, she could barely breathe as it was.
She heard footsteps approach her. She barely opened an eye, Riki was standing beside her now, looking down at her with a worry filled smile and a troubled expression. He could not see her looking at him, she was sure her eyelid had barely opened up. She watched as he wasted no time in moving her onto some sort of makeshift stretcher. Her body ached and tore at the tugging, but she easily forgave him. It was necessary. He was doing what he could to save her, to save all of her friends, the friends she had come to know and hold dear in an impossible dream over a semester that never existed.
He picked up the top side of the stretcher and Kurugaya felt herself being dragged upwards, towards safety. The air became cleaner, the gasoline was slowly vanishing. It was a heavenly aroma, something beyond what words were capable of describing. The edges of her mouth barely cornered up to a smile. She felt at peace, she felt safe as Riki dragged her up the hill.
Riki... Rin...
She closed her barely open eye.
Kyousuke... Your plan succeeded, they both grew strong, stronger than all of us imagined they would. We're... We're going to live... We really are, and I'm really going to join the Little Busters... I want to do all that I wished to do, and more...
A warm glow permeated her cheeks. Kurugaya could not open her eye again, for once, she felt so relaxed, it was unimaginable. Once in death's hands, now in life's. A wish she could not have hoped for to be granted... And yet, it was true. This was no dream, this was the real world.
Countless moments passed, Kurugaya lied motionless, unable to fall asleep, her insides still shaking and burning from the gas, but she smiled. She smiled pathetically, and was happy she could. Then, an explosion occurred.
Riki?
Rin?
Are you both okay? Are you alright!?
Flames could be heard crackling in the distance, heavy flames. In an instant, Kurugaya attempted to sit up, but just as fast, nothing but pain flooded her system. Barely moving, and yet she couldn't do anything but hope.
Riki, Rin. Please, don't be dead! Please!
The sound of the flames was persistent, and it sounded far. It was like an incessant fly buzzing around your head and flying straight into your ear. She hoped, she listened for any kind of sign that they were alive.
…
Nothing came.
Kurugaya opened her eyes slightly, they disputed on budging even a micrometer, but she needed to see. The blackness soon came into barely readable sight. The sight of numerous lying unconscious students lied before her, it was tear jerking to her, but there was no indication of Riki or Rin.
Riki!? Rin!? Where are you? I want to help you, I want to protect you, but...
She inwardly cringed, it was impossible. She could taste the blood in her mouth pouring on her stale cheek. She hadn't swallowed in so long... She wished for some water for a second, it was so dry minus the blood. A small string came down her parted smile and onto the ground as she prayed for Riki and Rin to come up that hill.
Still nothing. Did they die in that explosion? No... That wouldn't happen. They saved them all. Why would they have to die? Why should they!? After all of that.
Kurugaya wanted to erase her smile, but she found her lips as cold as stone. It'd hurt to much.
Rin... Riki... Please... Come back...
The crackles of grass sounded up. Her eyes darted lower to the source area of the sound, and something came up slowly. It was a round head of brown hair, then partly next to him, another head of brown hair. She watched as two students emerged over the horizon of the hill. They were dragging something with them, over their shoulders.
Kyousuke!
Rin and Riki looked exhausted as they dragged Kyousuke's unconscious body up and onto the hill. They carefully lied him down. She watched as Riki stood up for a few seconds and walked forward before collapsing onto his knees, panting, fatigued.
Kurugaya took back what she thought about the small smile on her face. She opened her eyes slightly more, trying her best to ignore the pain that followed.
"Ri... ki..."
Riki's head popped up to the quiet and weak call of his name. The voice was so hoarse and weak, Kurugaya barely recognized it as her own. Riki turned over to her before crawling towards her with haste.
"Kurugaya?!"
She couldn't find any energy to speak, she just looked to him with shining eyes. He smiled as he closed the distance on them.
"Kurugaya?" His smile faded as he noticed the red string flowing from the corner of her mouth. He smiled softly and wiped it with his thumb. "Kurugaya..." He said softly. "It's okay now, everything is going to be better..."
The motionless girl just looked upon him, so much hope and life flooding back into her mind. He lovingly edged open her mouth, knowing she was unable to do so herself, and reached a finger in softly to scoop out the puddle of clotting blood blocking her breathing for so long. She felt so secure now.
I can finally have my wish... My small wish... The chance... To experience so many things now... To have more fun, to spend more time with my friends, play jokes, catch baseballs...
Riki smiled at her kindly.
I have a real chance to experience love now...